39 titles.

1. Two and a Half Men (2003 TV Series)
Episode: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover (2005)
Don't worry about a thing. It's under control. You can count on me.
I just have to accept the fact that I - I can't count on anyone. Least of all an emotionally immature narcissist who thinks that the sun rises out of his navel and sets in his scrotum, and only *cares* about what lies between the two.
You gotta wonder how long he can keep burning that penis at both ends.
Doc, how many more adjustments do you think I'm gonna need?
So. You like making fun of girls with big boobs.
What the hell is wrong with you?
2. Thor (2011)
Know this, son of Coul. You and I, we fight for the same cause: the protection of this world. From this day forward, you can count me in as your ally, if... you return the items you have taken from Jane.
Look at you. The mighty Thor! With all your strength! And what good does it do you now? Do you hear me, brother? There's nothing you can do!
My friends, I am just a man. I'd only get in your way or worse get one of you killed. But you can help me gain time and get everyone to safety. GO!
You think you can deceive me.
She has refused to leave my father's bedside. You can bring your urgent matter to me, your King.
It's not easy to do what you did. You made my men - some of the most highly trained professionals in the world - look like a bunch of minimum-wage mall cops. In my experience, it takes someone who's received similar training to do what you did to them. Why don't you tell me where you received that training? Afghanistan, Chechnya? No, you strike me more as the soldier of fortune type. Who are you?
Do you want me to take him down, or would you rather send in more guys for him to beat up?
Can you see her?
So, you're the man behind all this? It's quite a labyrinth. I was thinking that you had taken me down here to kill me.
Is it madness? Is it? IS IT? I don't know what happened on Earth to make you so soft! Don't tell me it was that woman?... Oh, it was. Well maybe, when we're done here, I'll pay her a visit myself!
You've already made me proud.
You can't kill an entire race!
Why don't you tell her? How you sent the Destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me!
It's good to have you back. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim!
Donald? I don't think you've been completely honest with me.
Borrowed. Of course you can have your equipment back. You're going to need to need it to continue your research.
I turned my gaze upon you in Jotunheim but could neither see you nor hear you. You were shrouded from me like the Frost Giants that had entered this realm.
He was your king. And you're sworn to obey me now. Yes?
You're very brave, for helping me.
But you're the one who's always pushing me to chase down every possibility, every alternative.
You know I can't come home. My father is... is dead, and I must remain in exile.
Tell me, Loki, how did you lead the Jotuns into Asgard?
Only one of you can ascend to the throne. But BOTH of you were born to be kings!
I will conceal you and a handful of your soldiers, lead you into Odin's chambers, and you can slay him where he lies.
And you can return Jotunheim to all its, uh...
It's said you can still hear and see what transpires around you. I hope it's true, so that you may know your death came at the hand of Laufey.
You're right. But these were the actions of a boy, treat them as such. We can end this together, here, now, without any more blood shed.
There's nothing you can do without defying Father.
You cannot even defend your friends! How can you hope to protect the kingdom?
There won't be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act! The Jotuns must fear me, just as they once feared you!
You think me strange?
Your banishment, the threat of a new war... it was too much for him to bear. You mustn't blame yourself. I know that you loved him. I tried to tell him so, but he wouldn't listen. It was so cruel to put the hammer within your reach knowing that you could never lift it. The burden of the throne has fallen to me now.
Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?
No. You took me for a purpose. What was it?... TELL ME!
So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?
You could have told me what I was from the beginning! Why didn't you?
You know, it all makes sense now, why you favored Thor all these years, because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!
You know, for a crazy homeless person... he's pretty cut.
The answers you seek shall be yours, once I claim what is mine.
The line of succession falls to you. Asgard is yours.
You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!
And you are an old man and a fool!
Yes... I was a fool, to think you were ready.
Thor Odinson... you have betrayed the express command of your king. Through your arrogance and stupidity, you've opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war! You are unworthy of these realms, you're unworthy of your title, you're unworthy... of the loved ones you have betrayed! I now take from you your power! In the name of my father and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!
Describe exactly what happened to you last night.
...but you call it science. I come from a land where they are one and the same.
I don't know. Guy never tells me anything.
Who are you?
You'll know soon enough!
How'd you get inside that cloud?
Also, how could you eat an entire box of Pop-Tarts and still be this hungry?
Be warned, I shall uphold my sacred oath to protect this realm as its gatekeeper. If your return threatens the safety of Asgard, my gate will remain shut and you will be left to perish on the cold waste of Jotunheim.
Couldn't you just keep the bridge open for us?
Keeping the bridge open would unleash the full power of the Bifrost and destroy Jotunheim, with you on it.
You! What realm is this? Elfheim, Nilfheim?
You dare threaten Thor with such a puny weapon...?
What? He was freaking me out!
Once I retrieve Mjolnir, I will return to you the items they stole from you. Deal?
No. You think you're gonna just walk in and walk out ?
My friends, have you forgotten all that we have done together? Fandral, Hogun, who led you into the glorious of battles?
You did.
And, Volstagg, who introduced you to delicacies so succulent you thought you'd died and gone to Valhalla?
You did.
True, but I supported you, Sif.
Then give me one of those large enough to ride.
Sif, you've done all you could.
She searches for you.
You better call it Coulson, 'cause I'm starting to root for this guy.
Brother, however I have wronged you, whatever I have done that has led you to do this, I am truly sorry. But these people are innocent, taking their lives will gain you nothing. So take mine, and end this.
Oh, I still don't think you're the god of thunder. But you ought to be!
Heimdall, open the Bridge! Heimdall, we need you now!
But the day will come, when one of you will have to defend that peace...
Loki, you must go to the All-Father and convince him to change his mind.
And if I do, then what? I love Thor more dearly than any of you, but you know what he is. He's arrogant, he's reckless, he's dangerous! You saw how he was today. Is that what Asgard needs from its King?
Loki's always been one for mischief but you're talking about something else entirely
You'll be a wise king.
There will never be a wiser king than you. Or a better father. I have much to learn. I know that now. One day, perhaps, I will make you proud.
I could have done it, Father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us!
What are you doing? If you destroy the Bridge, you'll never see her again!
Forgive me, Jane!
Why have you done this?
Why not?... And what is this new found love for the Frost Giants? You, could have killed them all with your bare hands!
So have I. Now fight me!
You're a talented liar, brother. Always have been.
So is this how you normally look?
Would you like to see the bridge we spoke of?
Wait, we need to debrief you!
What troubles you, gatekeeper?
Or perhaps someone has found a way to hide that which he does not wish me to see.
You have great power, Heimdall. Did Odin fear you?
Then you'll open the Bifrost to no-one! Until I have repaired the damage that my brother has done!
What? This isn't like going to Earth, where you summon a little lightning and thunder and the mortals worship you as a god! This is Jotunheim!
Get him to the Healing Room! Leave my brother to me.
You are no match for the mighty...
Where'd you find this?
The children's section. I just wanted to show you how silly his story was.
Yes! Yes, exactly. Thank you.
I've seen the way she looks at you. If you hurt her...
I swear to you, I mean her no harm.
My friends, I've never been happier to see you! But you should not have come.
We've here to bring you home!
It's all right, it's over... You're safe...
Do you think the Bifrost is the only way in and out of this realm? There are passages between worlds to which even you, with all your gifts, are blind. But I have need of them no longer, now that I am king. And I say, for your act of treason, you are relieved of your duties as gatekeeper and no longer citizen of Asgard!
Then I need no longer obey you!
When I am king, I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all! Just as you did, Father.
I'm with you, Father!
You could have just said so!
You have my word.
Your father is a murderer and a thief! And why have YOU come, to talk of peace? You long for battle, you crave it! You're nothing more than a boy trying to prove himself a man!
Thor, stop and think. Look around you, we're outnumbered...
You know not what your actions would unleash... I do. Go now, while I still allow it.
After all I've done for you?
...So you're the one who showed us the way into Asgard.
I will hear you.
I suspect that the Asgardians would not take kindly to a king who had murdered his predecessor. Once Odin is dead, I will return the Casket to you...
How dare you attack the son of Odin!
You've come a long way to die, Asgardian.
Allfather. You look weary.
We are beyond diplomacy now, Allfather. You'll get what he came for: war, and death.
You're big. I've fought bigger.
Jane, you have to get everybody out of here!
What about you?
I will not fight you, brother!
You would defy the commands of Loki, our king? Break every oath you have taken as warriors, and commit treason to bring Thor back?
So you will help us?
I am bound by honor to our king. I cannot open the bridge to you.
What you seek, it's a bridge.
God, I hope you're not crazy.
It's not a bad thing finding out that you don't have all the answers. You start asking the right questions.
Our dearest friend banished! Loki on the throne! Asgard on the brink of war! Yet you managed to consume four wild boars, six pheasants, a side of beef and two caskets of ale! Shame on you! Don't you care?
Stop it, both of you! Stop! We all know what we have to do.
You speak of treason!
He just broke your truce! They know you are vulnerable!
What action would you take?
March into Jotunheim as you once did! Teach them a lesson! Break their spirits, so they would never dare try to cross our borders again!
You're thinking only as a warrior.
BUT YOU'RE NOT KING! Not yet.
It'll come, in time. If it's any consolation, I think you're right. About the Frost Giants, about Laufey, about everything. If they were able to slip past Asgard's defenses once, who's to say they won't try again? Next time with an army.
Why did you bring us back?
Do you realize what you've done, what you've started?
Have you forgotten everything I taught you? A warrior's patient!
While you wait and be patient, the Nine Worlds laugh at us! The old ways are done, yet you stand and give speeches while Asgard falls!
Thank you, Jane.
Leave this to me. Gatekeeper, we seek...
You're not dressed warmly enough.
You must be mistaken...
Allfather, we must speak with you urgently...
My King, we would ask that you end Thor's banishment.
Good. Then you will wait for my word.
Found you!
I am sorry, I cannot take you.
At least make it a challenge for me!
Loki. What are you doing here?
I had to see you.
What's happened? Tell me, is it Jotunheim? Let me explain to Father...
Can I come home?
No. I am sorry. Thank you for coming here.
I've got the particle detectors... Darcy, do you have the SHIELD satellite codes?
Yeah! Have you seen my taser?
YOU told the guard?
You must return to Asgard! You have to stop Loki!
What about you?
You are my son.
The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?
You were an innocent child.
I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace... through you.
Why do you twist my words?
You're my son... I wanted only to protect you from the truth...
He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different. You are our son, Loki, and we your family.
You know, I had it all backwards. I had it all wrong.
It's not a bad thing finding out that you don't have all the answers. You start asking the right questions.
3. Chuck (2007 TV Series)
Episode: Chuck Versus the Seduction (2008)
Uh, you can count me out on this one. No more dangling me off of buildings. No more guns being pointed at my head. No more putting my life in danger. I'm going back to my peaceful, quiet, albeit degrading existence at the Buy More. So, have fun on the mission, and... really love what you've done with the place.
No. You're not... Trust me. The lady doth protest too much.
Okay, look, the sooner we get the Cipher back and the sooner you can have the Intersect removed, and the sooner you can be free to live whatever life you choose *with* whomever you choose.
I'm saying you can have everything that you've always wanted.
Sarah, please tell me you saw that. Leaped from the balcony, lands with a flourish and the Russian judge gives it a 9.4. Oh and by the way, I have this thing called the Cipher if anyone's interested.
My life may be boring and cowardly, *but* I'm alive. That's more than most in my line of work can claim.
Don't worry Charles, I'll teach you how to get her too. But first, we're going to need more gin.
I mean a gun. Do you know why she's called the "black widow?"
It's a "we have a international security emergency. And I need to speak to you privately" kiss.
What are you saying?
Let me see the file.
The reason I failed you twice was that your partner at the time was too pretty to pass. I should've failed her a few more times.
4. Aliens (1986)
Oh yeah, sure! With those things runnin' around? You can count me out.
Oh yeah, sure. With *those* things running around? You can count *me* out.
Yeah I guess we can just count you out of everything, Hudson.
You started this. Show me everything. I can handle myself.
Oh, we can just count you out of *everything*, huh?
God damn it, that's not all! Because if one of those things gets down here then that will be all! Then all this - this bullshit that you think is so important, you can just kiss all that goodbye!
He figured that he could get an alien back through quarantine, if one of us was... impregnated... whatever you call it, and then frozen for the trip home. Nobody would know about the embryos we were carrying... me and Newt.
You better just start dealing with it, Hudson! Listen to me! Hudson, just deal with it, because we need you and I'm sick of your bullshit.
What do you want me to do, fetch your slippers for you?
I dunno, is there anything you can do?
Just tell me one thing, Burke. You're going out there to destroy them, right? Not to study. Not to bring back. But to wipe them out.
Looks like love at first sight to me. Oh, he likes you, Burke!
I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do NOT wanna fuck with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Vwap! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase-plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks...
Apone! Look... we can't have any firing in there. I, uh... I want you to collect magazines from everybody.
I'm Burke. Carter Burke. I work for the company. But don't let that fool you, I'm really an okay guy. I'm glad to see you're feeling a little better. They, uh, they tell me that all the weakness and disorientation should pass soon. It's just natural side effects of such an unusually long hypersleep, or something like that.
you can just kiss all of that goodbye!
Look, we can't have any firing in there. I, uh, I want you to collect magazines from everybody.
They can *bill* me.
Look, those two specimens are worth millions to the bio-weapons division. Now, if you're smart, we can both come out of it as heroes and we'll be set up for life.
You're crazy Burke, you know that? You really think that you can get a dangerous organism like that past ICC quarantine?
Oh they *will* know about it, Burke. From me. Just like they'll know that you were responsible for the deaths if 158 colonists here.
Hicks, meet me at the south lock. We're coming in.
Thank you, that will be all.
Hey, why don't you go, man!
Believe me, I'd prefer not to. I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid.
These people are here to protect you. They're soldiers.
Now please leave. I am not going back, and I am... I would not be any good to you if I did.
...right? So you're talkin' about a thermonuclear explosion and "Adiós, muchachos."
Hey, Hicks. Man, you look just like I feel.
We're all in strung out shape, but stay frosty, and alert. We can't afford to let one of those bastards in here.
Fuck. He's dead. You're dog-meat, pal!
This is so nuts. I mean, listen - listen to what you're saying. It's paranoid delusion. How - It's really sad. It's pathetic.
You know, Burke, I don't know which species is worse. You don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.
All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the Corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the Corps!
What do you mean, "*They* cut the power"? How could they cut the power, man? They're animals!
Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
No. Have you?
Excuse me sir, a-a what?
Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!
Are you finished?
Ripley? I- You know I expected more from you - I thought you'd be smarter than this.
Well, I'm happy to disappoint you.
How long after we're declared overdue can we expect a rescue?
Why don't you put her in charge?
You always were an asshole, Gorman!
It's a rescue mission, you'll love it. There's some juicy colonists' daughters we have to rescue from their virginity. Heh!
Gee, would you sir? I'd like that.
I feel like kind of a fifth wheel around here, is there anything I can do?
All right, sweethearts, you're a team and there's nothin' to worry about. We come here, and we gonna conquer, and we gonna kick some, is that understood? That's what we gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people, on the ready line! Are ya lean?
WHAT ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU? HUDSON! Get on the ready line, Marines, get some today! Get on the ready line! Move it out! Move it out, goddammit! Get hot! One, two, three, four! Get out, get out, get out! Move it out, move it out, move it out! Move it out, move it out, move it out! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! Aaarrrrr, absolutely badassess! Let's pack 'em in! Get in there!
Fuck you, man!
That's the plan. You have my word on it.
I thought you never missed, Bishop.
You never said anything about an android being on board! Why not?
Pff, it never - never occurred to me. It's just common practice. We always have a synthetic on board.
Allright, sweethearts, you heard the man and you know the drill! Assholes and elbows!
How many drops is this for you, Lieutenant?
Man, I'm telling you, I got a bad feeling about this drop.
You always say that, Frost. You always say, "I got a bad feeling about this drop."
Okay, okay. When we get back without you, I'll call your folks.
Yeah, Frost, but the one that you had was a male!
Oh dear Lord Jesus, this ain't happening, man... This can't be happening, man! This isn't happening!
Look, this is an emotional moment for all of us, okay? I know that. But, let's not make snap judgments, please. This is clearly-clearly an important species we're dealing with and I don't think that you or I, or anybody, has the right to arbitrarily exterminate them.
This is a multi-million dollar installation, okay? He can't make that kind of decision, he's just a grunt!
Okay, look. What if that ship didn't even exist? Did you ever think about that, I didn't know! So, now, if I went and made a major security situation out of it, everybody steps in; Administration steps in, and there's no exclusive rights for anybody, nobody wins! So I made a decision, and it was... wrong. It was a bad call, Ripley. It was a bad call.
I wanna introduce you to a personal friend of mine. This is an M41A pulse rifle. Ten millimeter with over-and-under thirty millimeter pump action grenade launcher.
Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? Fuck you!
Whatever you're gonna do, do it fast!
You secure that shit, Hudson!
Get away from her, you *bitch!*
I dunno how you managed to stay alive, but you're one brave kid, Rebecca.
What'd you say?
Newt. My name's Newt. Nobody calls me Rebecca, except my brother.
I knew you'd come.
Can I dream?
Yes, honey. I think we both can.
Well, you're not reading *it* right!
And you, you little shit-head... you're staying here.
Morning, Marines. I'm sorry we didn't have time to brief you people before we left Gateway, but...
Well, that explains it then. The A2s always were a bit twitchy. That could never happen now with our behavioral inhibitors. It is impossible for me to harm or by omission of action, allow to be harmed, a human being.
What do you mean? How long was I out there?
Has no one discussed this with you yet?
No, I know. Uh, okay, it's just that, uh, this might be a shock to you. It's long...
That's the thing. You were out there for fifty-seven years. What happened was, you had drifted right through the core systems, and it's really just blind luck that a deep salvage team found you when they did. It's one in a thousand, really. I think you're damn lucky to be alive, kiddo. You could be floating out there forever.
I'm sorry if I scared you. That platform was just becoming too unstable. I had to circle and hope that things didn't get too rough to take you off.
Bishop, you did okay.
That's the grenade launcher. I don't think you want to mess with that.
I will never leave you. That's a promise.
Are you finished?
Maybe we can build a fire, sing a couple of songs, huh, how about we try that.
It's good for you, boy. Eat it.
Thank you Ripley, that will be all.
this *bullshit* you think is so important,
How are we doing Vasquez, talk to me?
That can't be; that's inside the room.
Then you're not reading *it* right.
What do you expect us to use man, harsh language?
Alright sweethearts, you heard the man and you know the drill. Assholes and elbows! Hudson, come here, come here.
Okay, I know this is an emotional moment for all of us. I know that. But let's not make snap judgments, please. This is clearly an important species we're dealing with and I don't think that you or I, or *anybody*, has the right to arbitrarily exterminate them.
Maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!
Yeah... look, Ripley, this is a multi-million dollar installation. He can't make that kind of decision. He's just a grunt!
How can they impound it if they don't know about it?
You sent them to that ship.
You're wrong.
I just checked the colony log. Dated 0-6-1-2-7-9, signed Burke, Carter J. You sent them out there and you didn't even warn them. Why didn't you warn them, Burke?
Okay, look. What if that ship didn't even exist, huh? Did you ever think about that? I didn't know! So now, if I went in and made a major security issue out of it, everybody steps in. Administration steps in, and there are no exclusive rights for anybody; nobody wins. So I made a decision and it was... wrong. It was a bad call, Ripley, it was a bad call.
These people are *dead *,Burke! Don't you have any idea what you have done here? Well, I'm gonna make sure they nail you right to the wall for this! You're not gonna sleaze your way out of this one! Right to the wall!
Ripley...! You know, I... I expected more from you. I thought you'd be smarter than this.
I'm happy to disappoint you.
You know, Burke, I don't know which species is worse. You don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.
Get away from her, you bitch!
Why can't we shut it down from here?
No. I've checked. The hardware here and there... is damaged. We can't realign the dish.
That's right, man. Unless *you* go, man.
Van Leuwin, why don't you just check out LV426?
What do you mean? What people?
5. Band of Brothers (2001 Mini-Series)
Episode: Carentan (2001)
You can count on me, sir.
You... um... you couldn't be a dear and help me with a few others, could you? Ah... let's see... Sergeant Evans... Private Moya... Blowzer... Gray... Miller... Owen... Collins... Elliot... Blithe.
I want light and noise discipline from now on. That means no talking, no smoking, and no playing grab-fanny with the man in front of you, Luz.
Oh, you beautiful babies, you!
Where are you going, private?
You got some nervous privates in your company.
We do, sir. Yeah we do. I can vouch for that.
Just do what you have to do.
Like you did on D-Day, sir? lieutenant. Sir, when I landed on D-Day, I found myself in a ditch all ny myself. I fell asleep. I think it was... it was the air sickness pills they gave us. When I woke up I really didn't try to find my unit... to fight. I just... I just kinda stayed put.
You know why you hid in that ditch, Blithe?
We're all scared. You hid in that ditch because you think there's still hope. But Blithe, the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier's supposed to function. Without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. All war depends on it.
Spell me a minute sir.
You gonna let Blithe get some sack time?
How you doing, Blithe?
No thank you, sir.
You know what they said in basic. Dehydration's a soldier's worst enemy.
No, thank you, sir.
Harry... what exactly are you doing with your reserve chute? You've been hauling that thing around ever since we jumped.
Gonna send it back to Kitty when we get back to England. Silk. Figure it'll make a good wedding dress, you know. What with the rationing and all.
No, that you think we're gonna make it back to England.
Stiff. Sore. They want me to take it easy for a few days.
Yeah, you should.
6. The Fifth Element (1997)
I will fulfill my mission! You can count on me!
But you can still count. Look it's easy. Look at my fingers, four stones, four crates, zero stones, zero crates! Pack everything up we're outta here.
Trying to save your ass so you can save the world.
Can I talk to you for a second?
We'll find out everything there is to know about the D man: his dreams, his desires, his most intimates of intimates, and from what I'm looking at, "intimate" is the stud muffin's middle name. So tell me my man, are you nervous in the service?
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for conversation, but maybe you could just shut up for a moment?
Me fifth element - supreme being. Me protect you.
Yeah. Just one. Why me? I retired six months ago. You remember?
No, I don't wanna make you beg. All I want is an explanation. Look, I just got in. I just smashed my cab, I lost my job, I got mugged. Besides that, everything's peachy. Thanks for asking. Now will you just settle down and explain this to me calmly.
Oh, so you don't know you won a trip to Fhloston Paradise for two for 10 days? And I suppose you'll just leave me on the lunar surface to freeze my ass off?
Oh, so you don't know you won a trip to Fhloston Paradise for two for 10 days? And I suppose you'll I was in labor for days, and this is how you repay me? I should've just gotten a robot.
Don't "come on, Ma" me. I should be there, not you! I need a tan! I need a cocktail!
Oh, please. That doesn't even sound like him! The President's an idiot, you don't sound like an idiot. If you don't wanna talk to your mother, just avoid me like usual, huh? I'll just throw myself in traffic. I'll just Saran Wrap myself to the bed and pretend my child is suffocating me...
Oh, Father. You're so wrong. Let me explain.
Look at all these little things! So busy now! Notice how each one is useful. A lovely ballet ensues, so full of form and color. Now, think about all those people that created them. Technicians, engineers, hundreds of people, who will be able to feed their children tonight, so those children can grow up big and strong and have little teeny children of their own, and so on and so forth. Thus, adding to the great chain of life. You see, father, by causing a little destruction, I am in fact encouraging life. In reality, you and I are in the same business.
Torture who you have to, the President, I don't care. Just bring me the stones. You have one hour.
The government sent me to help you. Just stay calm.
Oh, so you are merchants after all. Leave them one crate for the cause.
What's wrong with you? What you screamin' for? Every 5 minutes there's somethin', a bomb or somethin'. I'm leavin'. bzzzz.
You're a monster, Zorg.
A-a-aa-a-a-are you German?
What are you doing?
We're newlyweds. Just met. You know how it is. We bumped into each other, sparks happen...
What do you mean, empty?
Everything you create, you use to destroy.
Father, are you sure she's a supreme being?
Are you classified as human?
Korben sweetheart, what was that? It was BAD! It had no fire, no energy, no nothing! Y'know I got a Show to run here, and it must pop POP POP! So tomorrow from 5 to 7 will you PLEASE act like you have more than a two word vocabulary. It must be green, okay?
I didn't come here to play Pumbaa on the radio. So tomorrow from 5 to 7 your gonna give yourself a hand, You green?
I don't know love. I was built to protect not to love, so there is no use for me other than this.
You got a message.
You're not gonna open it? It might be important.
Yeah, like the last two I got were important. The first one was from my wife, telling me she was leaving. The second was from my lawyer, telling me he was leaving... with my wife.
Okay, you're on.
You are fired. Oh.
Good. That... that whole thing's your name, huh? Do you have, uh... a shorter name?
Do you mind if I try?
Oh, so you speak English now.
Three reasons. One - as a member of the elite special forces unit of the Federated Army, you are expert in the use of all major weapons & space craft needed for this mission. Two - of all the members of your unit, you were the most highly decorated.
Of all the members of your unit, you're the only one left alive.
Mr. Rhod, you are going to have to assume your individual position.
I... have... a different theory, to offer you, sir.
You have twenty seconds.
You're right, you're right, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.
I hate warriors, too narrow-minded. I'll tell you what I do like though: a killer, a dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF-1, would've immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.
Bring me the priest.
Major Dallas, I first would like to salute a warrior, you are a shining example of this Army's might, in the name of the Federation and it's territory...
Mr. President, Mr. President, any idea when you gonna be getting to the point?
There's the Emperor and his lovely daughter. "I love to sing," she recently confessed to me!
Oh, I get it. You wanna make make your only mother to beg. Is that it?
If I'd won a trip, I'd know about it. Somebody would've notified me.
Corben, they've been blaring your name on the radio for the last hour, you big ape.
You miserable bastard! I never should've pushed you out.
Mrs. Dallas, this is the President. On behalf of the federation, I would like to thank you...
Sounds like a freak of nature to me.
Yeah. Can't wait to meet him.
Am I disturbing you?
Oh no... no, no... I was... just... W-Where are you?
Fine... fine, just fine... I'll, I'll have the... ah... I'll have the four stones you asked for anytime now... but, but it wasn't easy. My costs... have tripled.
I will be among you... soon.
We have twelve swimming pools, and two on the rooftop. All the restaurants are between level two and level ten. The planet Fhloston has 400 beaches, all accessible until 5 PM. Then, the airship goes higher, to offer you a better view with your dinner.
You have a seat reserved, front row, next to RU-BY RHOD! He's so talented, don't you think? I just love him... he's so sexy...
Let's count.
If you want something done, do it yourself. Yep!
You guard this with your life, or you're gonna look like this guy here! You green?
Here is your mission: pass your knowledge on to the next, as it was passed on to you.
I-I will do as you command, but please hurry! You still have time!
I will pass the knowledge on, until you return!
Priest, you and those before you have served us well. But war is coming. Stones not safe on Earth anymore.
My lord, if you take the weapon, we will be defenseless when the evil returns.
Finger's gonna kill me.
I don't know. And even if I did know, I wouldn't tell someone like you.
Why? What's wrong with me?
I try to serve life. And you seem to want to destroy it.
Life, which you so nobly serve, comes from destruction, disorder and chaos. Now take this empty glass. Here it is: peaceful, serene, boring. But if it is destroyed
I told you. Perfect. Thermal bandages.
You're a winner!
You wanna play it soft. We'll play it soft. You wanna play it hard. Let's play it hard.
Imagine for a moment that this thing is not anything that can be identified because it prefers not to be. Wherever there is life, it brings death, because it is evil, absolute evil.
What's the use in saving life when you see what you do with it?
7. Mr. Nobody (2009)
Shh, don't say anything. You're the one I love. You can count on me for Mars, I promise.
Urgh, you're still here? Did I fall asleep? Sometimes I don't sleep so I think... I think about how it was... and all I have left. What do you see when you look at me? A grumpy old man who never answers questions? Who mixes everything up? Who's kept busy by getting his meals? That's not me. Me... I wear shorts. I'm nine years old. I can run faster than the train. I can't feel my aching back anymore. I'm fifteen. I'm fifteen and I'm in love.
I was dreaming about Stefano. He doesn't give a damn about me. I love him. There can't be any other explaination for being in this state. I don't know what it could be. I'm not happy. I'm going crazy. Every morning when I wake up, I rub my eyes and I see your face and I start crying. I realise that my life is passing me by. How can you stay so calm? How can you be like that? You're not human! I don't know what to do! It's not my fault, right? You're not gonna leave me, are you?
I can remember a long time ago. Long before my birth. I was waiting with those who were not yet born. When we're not born yet, we know everything. Everything that will happen. When it's your turn, the Angels of Oblivion place a finger on your mouth. "Shh..." It leaves a mark on the upper lip. It means that you have forgotten everything. But the angels missed me.
Sometimes people call me Mr. Craft. C-R-A-F-T. Can't Remember A Fucking Thing.
So Nemo, have you made up your mind? Do you want to come with me or do you want to stay with your father?
We go to the same school. You never notice me, you never notice anyone. Do you have a girlfriend? What, are you queer? Why don't you have a girlfriend?
You're incredible. Raise your hand and say 'I swear'. Promise me that when I die, you'll scatter my ashes on Mars.
We shouldn't. You don't know me and I'm not a good person.
Go slowly. I have to get used to it. I talked to you so much when you weren't there, it's strange for me to talk to you for real.
I often have this dream. In prehistoric times, I can hear you screaming. I chase the bear and you're not afraid anymore, but when I wake up, there's no bear... but you're still afraid. And I'm not a bear hunter. I'm an executive at a plant that manifactures photocopying machines that just quit his job. I don't dare to move, I don't live, whatever I do is a disaster. I would love to set out to chase the bear away and for you to not be afraid anymore.
Did Elise die or didn't she? I don't get it. You can't have had children and not have them.
Why do you take such good care of that car while you leave me here all alone? What's the problem with the car?
I hurt everybody! I hurt you, the children... this can't go on.
Then you're all gonna end up drowning with me.
Everything you say is contradictory. You can't have been in one place and another at the same time. Of all those lives, which one is the right one?
Daddy says you can predict exactly where Mars will be in the sky, even in a hundred years. But the funny thing is that daddy doesn't know what will happen to him ten minutes from now.
You can't be dead and still here. You can't not exist. Is there life after death?
"After death." How can you be so sure you even exist?
Nemo, do I matter to you? I'd just like to ask you one question. Did you do it on purpose? I found this on the bedside table.
There comes a time in life where everything seems narrow. Choices have been made. I can only continue on. I know myself like the back of my hand. I can predict my every reaction. My life has been cast in cement with airbags and seatbelts. I've done everything to reach this point and now that I'm here, I'm fucking bored. The hardest thing is knowing whether I'm still alive.
I always liked fish. I never thought that one day they would like me too.
I've got nothing to say to you. I'm Mr. Nobody, a man who doesn't exist.
Do you remember what the world was like before telemerization? Quasi-immortality? What was it like when humans were mortals?
There were cars that polluted. We smoked cigarettes. We ate meat. We did everything we can't do in this dump and it was wonderful! Most of the time nothing happened... like a French movie.
What was there before the big bang? Well, you see, there was no before because before the big bang, time did not exist. Time is a result of the expansion of the universe itself. But what will happen when the universe has finished expanding?
You have to make the right choice. As long as you don't choose, everything remains possible.
I'm sorry, I don't understand. Did you stay with your father or go with your mother?
It will happen on a Saturday. You will be behind the wheel of your car, you are whistling. You do not see the crossroads. All of a sudden, a train will hit from your left and you will be crushed.
You're not funny!
Nemo thinks he can predict the future.
I can.
No one can predict the future, no one knows what's going to happen!
Well if you could, you'd know you were going to get that.
I knew you'd say that.
You could've stayed with your father if you wanted to!
You wanna go for a swim? Come on, it'll be...
What on earth made me say I don't go swimming with idiots?
Nemo... how have you been?
I'm fine, how are you?
Well, see you around.
Yeah, uh... See you around.
What on earth made me say I don't go swimming with idiots?
Sometimes I can see the future.
There was a card from your mother in the post. You haven't looked at it.
Aren't you going to see her one day?
I haven't seen her for seven years. If she wanted to see me, she knows where to find me.
How did you know my name?
Do you know how to talk? Well say something.
I love you.
I love you more.
Me more.
Me more.
I want you.
I want you too.
Forever. There is no life without you.
You look like my son.
My son is taller than you.
You're the first and last person I'll ever love.
They say if you slow your breathing, time slows down. The Hindus say so.
No you're not. You're not horrible.
I can't stand this life anymore!
What's the matter? You've got the most incredible kids...
Don't try to make me feel better, it only makes me feel guiltier! What's wrong with me?
There's no life without you.
What are you doing today?
What do you mean?
Maybe he shrunk? Happens when you get older, you shrink.
No one shrinks, that's rubbish. You got the wrong bloke, that's all.
You think this fella is an astronaut?
No no no, I love you!
Together we can do it.
We'll learn to swim. I love you.
I love you.
I love you...
When we were separated at 15, I said I would never love anyone else, ever. I would never become attached, I'd never stay put anywhere, I'd have nothing for myself; I decided I would pretend to be alive. And this is what I've been waiting for, all this time, renouncing all possible lives, for one only, with you.
Why am I me and not somebody else?
Everything we see exists, we can see it. I can see mommy's eyes, but I can't see my eyes. The little baby can see his hands, but he cannot see himself. So, does he really exist? Do I really exist?
Why do we remember the past, but not the future? When you ask mommy, she says, stop asking why. It's complicated.
I'm going to marry the first girl that dances with me tonight.
You never know what you want.
You know what I don't want?
So, Tommy, what is it you don't want?
I don't want to be like you.
You don't exist. Neither do I. We only live in the imagination of a 9 year old child. We are imagined by 9 year old child, faced with an impossible choice.
8. Iron Man 2 (2010)
My bond is with the people, and I will serve this great nation at the pleasure of myself. If there's one thing I've proven it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself.
I'm not saying I'm responsible for this country's longest run of uninterrupted peace in 35 years! I'm not saying that from the ashes of captivity, never has a Phoenix metaphor been more personified! I'm not saying Uncle Sam can kick back on a lawn chair, sipping on an iced tea, because I haven't come across anyone man enough to go toe to toe with me on my best day! It's not about me. It's not about you, either. It's about legacy, the legacy left behind for future generations. It's not about us!
I don't know if you know this, but *I don't speak Russian!* Now I'm gonna go to the Expo, maybe you can watch me on TV, maybe I'll get laid.
Because I'm your nuclear deterrent. It's working. We're safe. America is secure. You want my property? You can't have it. But I did you a big favor.
You complete me!
Well, you can forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending on what state you're in. You can't have it.
What's the point of owning a race car if you can't drive it?
She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know. Right?
Dead almost 20 years, you're still taking me to school...
You told me double cycles more power. Good advice.
I'm surprised you can keep your mouth shut.
It means you can either drive yourself home or I can have you collected.
What do you want from me?
What do we want from you? Uh-uh. What do you want from me? You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. I have bigger problems in the southwest region to deal with. Hit him!
Oh God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it? Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds? What did she just do to me?
He was cold, calculating, never told me he loved me, never even told me he liked me, so it's a bit hard for me to digest that he said the whole future is riding on me thing, I don't get that! You're talking about a man whose happiest day of his life was shipping me off to boarding school.
You were going to tell me? You really were dying?
You didn't let me.
Why didn't you tell me that?
Oh man, you can have your suit back.
Come on, you know you want to. Give me another smooch.
If you try to escape, or play any sort of games with me, I will taze you and watch "Supernanny" while you drool into the carpet.
Yeah, sure. We can get you a bird.
I took your stuff, how's that make you feel, does it make you feel bad? 'Cause that's how I feel, we had a contract, I save your life, you build me suits!
Where will you be watching the world consume me from? Oh, that's right, a prison cell. I'll send you a bar of soap.
Can I ask you something personal? If this was the last birthday party you were going to have, what would you do?
Tony... what're you not telling me?
I am sorry... All I can give you... is my knowledge.
I am appointing you CEO, why aren't you listening to me? You know, I've been lately thinking what legacy I want to leave behind, and who should do what when I'm gone. And I think, in terms of Stark Enterprises, that you should take over it. You've always managed to handle it, so far it's been good. I hereby irrevocably make you CEO of the company.
I quit. I'm resigning. My body literally can't handle the stress. I don't know when you're going to kill yourself, or mess up the whole company...
You can make salute? What do you mean you can make salute? What the *hell* does that mean, Ivan?
The point is you're welcome, I guess.
I've successfully privatized world peace. What more do you want? For now! I tried to play ball with these ass-clowns.
... you, Mr. Stark.
... you, buddy.
Okay, give me a smooch for good luck, I might not make it back!
What I saw you did to Tony Stark on that track, how you stepped up to him in front of God and everybody, that was... Wow!
This lone gunslinger act is unnecessary... you don't have to do this alone!
I hope you're ready...
In prostitution? Of course not, you're a senator. Come on!
Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to exit the donut.
I just want to talk to you for a minute, well, make that 30 seconds...
Did you just make that?
Yeah. Where do you think I've been for three hours?
You know, there's only 8,011 things that I really need to talk to you about.
I told you I don't want to join your super-secret boy band.
We're adjourned for the day. You've been a delight.
Tony, you're too young to understand this right now, so I thought I would put it on film for you.
I built this for you. And some day you'll realise that it represents a whole lot more than people's inventions
it represents my life's work. This is the key to the future. I'm limited by the technology of my time, but one day you'll figure this out. And when you do, you will change the world. What is, and always will be, my greatest creation... is *you*.
Show me the badge.
You! I swear to God, I'll dismantle you! I'll soak your motherboard, turn you into a wine rack!
I don't like people handing me things just put it down there.
Aren't you Iron Man?
Hey Tony, how you doing?
You what?
You sound pretty spry for a dead guy.
You, too.
What your father did to my family over 40 years, I will do to you in 40 minutes.
I hope you're ready.
Ooh, sorry... funny how annoying a little prick can be, isn't it?
*I* think it's weird. You look like two seals fighting over a grape.
Hey, you weren't supposed to be listening to that. Get lost.
Huh! You're... fired.
That's not up to you.
God, you're good. You are mind-blowingly close to this. How do you do it? You're a triple impostor, I've never seen anything like it. Is there anything real about you? Do you even speak Latin?
Which means? Wait, what did you just say?
You've been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, you're giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit. Now, if I know better...
You don't know better. I didn't give it to him. He took it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. He took it? You're Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit? Is that possible?
What did we just do *for* you? That's lithium dioxide. It's gonna take the edge off. We're trying to get you back to work.
Give me a couple boxes of that. I'll be right as rain.
I've got my eye on you.
What do you remember about your father?
I'm sorry. I don't wanna get on the wrong foot. Do I look at the patch or the eye? Honest, I'm a bit hung over. I'm not sure if you're real or if I'm having...
I am very real. I'm the realest person you're ever gonna meet.
You lose.
You have a 9:30 dinner.
I need you...
I need you too, that's what I'm trying to...
Yes, for the moment, I'm not dying. Thank you.
What do you mean you're not dying? Did you just say you're dying?
Is that you? No, I'm not. Not anymore.
I was going to tell you, I didn't want you to alarm you
I was going to make you an omelet and tell you.
Hey, hey. Save it for the honeymoon. You got incoming, Tony. Looks like the fight's coming to you.
Are you okay now?
No, I should have trusted you.
I'm the one who put you in this position. Forget it.
These are the Cubans, baby. This is the Cohibas, the Montecristos. This is a kinetic-kill, side-winder vehicle with a secondary cyclotrimethylenetrinitramine RDX burst. It's capable of busting a bunker under the bunker you just busted. If it were any smarter, it'd write a book, a book that would make Ulysses look like it was written in crayon. It would read it to you. This is my Eiffel Tower. This is my Rachmaninoff's Third. My Pieta. It's completely elegant, it's bafflingly beautiful, and it's capable of reducing the population of any standing structure to zero. I call it "The Ex-Wife."
May I say how refreshing it is to finally see you on a video with your clothing on, sir.
You're out of control, okay?
Trust me on this one.
You're out of control, gorgeous.
You're not going to be happy about this.
Come on, you know you want to.
You just peed in the suit.
You could drink that water.
Have you been drinking?
She is from legal and she is potentially a very expensive sexual harassment lawsuit if you keep ogling her like that.
How do you spell your name, Natalie?
What, are you Googling her now?
I would personally like to show you... my ass.
You have *a* big gun, you're not *the* big gun.
You know, the question I get asked most often is, "Tony, how do you go to the bathroom in the suit?"
Tony, you know Christine?
So it is your bird, I thought it wasn't your bird, I'm confused, I thought you didn't like the bird...
You know what, take the bird.
You come from a family of thieves and butchers, and like all guilty men, you try to rewrite your history, to forget all the lives the Stark family has destroyed.
Speaking of thieves, where'd you get this design? You look like you have friends in low places.
My father is the reason you're alive.
No, the reason I'm alive is because you made a shot, and you missed.
If you could make God bleed, people would cease to believe in Him. There will be blood in the water, the sharks will come. All I have to do is sit back and watch as the world consumes you.
I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact that...
Ivan... that should be you.
You think you got what it takes to wear that suit?
You wanna be the War Machine, take your shot.
I'll get my revenge on you, someday!
Trust me, I know. I'm good at this stuff. I've been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I've tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.
Well, I'm here to tell you, you haven't tried them all.
I am unable to find a suitable replacement element for the reactor, sir. You are running out of time, and options.
It would appear that the same thing that is keeping you alive is also killing you, sir.
You lose, Stark! You lose!
Hey, Tony. Before you go, palladium in the chest, painful way to die.
She's right. The party's over. Then again, the party was over for me, like, an hour and a half ago. The after party starts in fifteen minutes.
Anton Vanko was the other side of that coin - Anton saw it as a way to get rich, and when your father found out he had him deported. When the russians found out he couldn't deliver they shipped his ass of to Siberia. He spent the next twenty years in a vodka-fueled rage, not quite the environment you'd want to raise a kid in - the son you had the misfortune of crossing paths with in Monaco.
Where did you get this? Do you have any idea what this is?
Good luck. We need you.
More than you know.
It's a hi-tech prosthesis. That's actually the most apt description I can make of it.
I didn't expect to see you here...
Well, it's me, and I'm here, so get over it and move on!
Mm. I think you should lead with that next time.
Yeah, sorry, Boss, I can only use it once. It's a one-off.
You don't deserve to wear one of these. Shut it down!
Give me phat beat to beat my buddy's ass to.
Well, then, you must have known my father better than I did.
You sound pretty spry for a dead guy.
You too.
I can make salute.
9. Happy Gilmore (1996)
And *you* can count, on *me*, waiting for *you* in the parking lot.
Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep.
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will PUT you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in MY world now, grandma!
Oh, you can count. Good for you.
Yeah. Alright, now, if you get that puck in that net over there, I'll never bother you again. But if you miss, you got to give me a big fat kiss. And you have to pretend you like it too.
You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!
I don't know. Why don't you just watch me, and make sure I don't do anything stupid. Okay?
Stop fraternizing with the help Gilmore. Just hit your ball... if you can find it.
Ah ah. You lay another finger on me, I burn the house down and piss on the ashes.
That Son of a Bitch. Give me my ball, come on, pop it up, you dirty bastard. I swear I'm gonna... give the ball, alligator. Hey, you've got one eye, Chubbs. You took his hand.
I can't believe you're a professional golfer. I think you should be working at the snack bar.
You like THAT old man? You want a piece of ME?
I'll tell you what, you hit a ball past my ball, and we'll go straight back to work so you can watch your precious hockey game.
Beginner's luck. Twenty bucks says you can't do it again.
I'd love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can't, you know, because I'd get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on "Let's Make A Deal."
You know what's driving me crazy? You not getting the ball in the hole!
Did that go in? I wasn't watching, did it go in? I didn't see it, could you tell me if it went in?
Step right up, folks. See if you can out drive the amazing Golf Ball, uh, Whacker Guy!
Mrs. Gilmore owes the IRS two hundred and seventy thousand dollars in back taxes. We have to take the house. And if you can't get the money together in ninety days, we're gonna have to sell the house to someone else.
But she's an old lady. I mean, look at her. She's old. You can't just take her stuff. She's too old.
You know what's driving *me* crazy? You, not getting the ball in the hole.
I can't *believe* you're a professional golfer! I think you should be working at the snack bar.
You like that, old man? You want a piece of me?
Damn you people. Go back to your shanties.
What's this I hear about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?
Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I didn't think so.
Nah, it looks that way cause you've only got one shoe on.
Hey, my girlfriend is dead, you know. She fell off a cliff and died on impact.
I'll make you a bet.
Do you always carry a puck with you?
Just stay out of my way... or you'll pay! LISTEN to what I say!
They wouldn't let me play on the Pro Tour anymore.
Ah, I'm sorry. Because you're black?
Yeah. tournament down in Florida. I hooked my ball in the rough down by the lake. Damned alligator just POPPED up, cut me down on my prime. He got me, but I tore one of that bastard's eyes out though. Look at that.
You're pretty sick, Chubbs.
Did you see that?
You know what *else* could draw a crowd? A golfer with an arm growing out of his ass.
Well, I'd like to see you try.
Why don't you just put it down?
You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Get off of me!
All you ever talk about is becoming a pro hockey player, but there's a problem: you're not any good.
I am good. You know what, you're a lousy kindergarten teacher. I've seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they SUCK.
Mister! Mister! Get me outta here!
Where are you going with those clubs, punk?
Oh, I'm sorry about that. Let me carry these, alright, they were my grandfather's, they're pretty old.
Where were you on that one, dipshit?
Damn you people. This is golf. Not a rock concert.
Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor, the accountant. Probably a great golfer... huge ass.
Hey, I'll bet your neighbor the accountant can't drive the ball four hundred yards. I'll bet your neighbor the accountant doesn't have a shot to get on the Pro Tour!
You win the Open tomorrow, and you're automatically on the Pro Tour. Then who knows? Maybe you'll win the Tour Championship one day. Get that gold jacket that I never got.
That's my puck, baby, don't you ever touch my puck.
What the hell is the matter with you?
I tell you, the real winner today is the city of Portland. Every time I come here it gets hard to leave. I bet you put something to the water.
Thank you, Doug. You know, I saw Doug playing yesterday. And I've got to tell you, this guy spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff!
You're gonna die, clown!
I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.
Hey Gilmore, you suck ya jackass.
Why don't you shut the hell up.
You better relax, Bob.
There is no way that you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf.
I don't want a PIECE of you... I want the whole THING!
Give me the stupid club.
Yeah you like that?
You boys are going to pay for that! *clunk* AHH!
You hit that guy.
You better pay up.
Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey! You want to beat him? Beat him on the course.
You're gonna need a blanket and suntan lotion, cause you're never gonna get off that beach, just like the way you never got into the NHL... you jackass!
You will not make this putt... you jackass!
Shooter! Great to hear from you! You wanna go to the Sizzler and get some grub?
Happy! Happy are you okay?
That guy's driving me crazy.
Don't push me, Bob. Now's not the time!
Now, you've had enough... bitch.
Hey! You no want breakfast?
Shut up, Happy. Don't feel bad about me. I got my hand back, see?
You know that alligator that got your hand? Well I got his HEAD!
My name is Happy Gilmore. Ever since I was old enough to skate, I loved hockey. I wasn't really the greatest skater though. But that didn't stop my dad from teaching me the secret of smacking his greatest slap shot.
Hey Shooter, haven't you forgot your nine iron.
Well, You're a little banged up but no serious injury's. Just keep off your feet for a few days.
Fine! Do whatever you like. What would I know, I'm just a Doctor.
Oh yeah. Lotta pressure. You gotta rise above it. You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness. Energy. Block. Bad. Feel the flow Happy. Feel it. It's circular. It's like a carousel. You pay the quarter, you get on the horse, it goes up and down, and AROUND. It's circular. Circle, with the music, the flow. All good things.
Do you know what the pathetic thing is? You have been doing this your whole life.
What are you doing Happy? Riding a bull? You're acting like a damn fool!
Who are you waving at, Happy?
How you doing, Happy? I'm Bob Barker.
What an honor. How nice to meet you.
Looks like you and I are going to be playing together today.
A guy your size, why don't you play a real sport, like football?
I'm telling you this place is perfect, you're gonna make friends in no time.
Mista, mista! Get this off of me!
Hey, you know that 'Mista Mista Lady'... I think I just killed her!
That guy's driving me *crazy*!
Don't push me, Bob! Now's not the time.
You better relax, Bob.
There is *no* way that you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf!
I don't want a *piece* of you, I want the *whole thing*!
Now you're gonna get it, Bobby!
I think you've had enough.
*Now* you've had enough... bitch.
What are you doing?
This is a biggie, time's ticking. I gotta make some money. What do you think? Slightly downhill?
No, it only seems that way because you have only one shoe on.
10. CSI: NY (2004 TV Series)
Episode: The Closer (2005)
If this is the new look for spring, you can count me out.
Don't tell me you're going to make me hold something else.
Mr. Sullivan, if you have something to tell me, say it now.
So, why'd you help me?
Because you told me the truth.
I've got something else for you.
There's one thing I hate more than running - leaping. You're not my favorite person today. Come on.
Why haven't you taken your wedding ring off?
Pou eisai esi vre file? Skeftesei kat kai ksero pou thelis na me to pis.
But... these here, tiny puncture wounds on her soles. I can't imagine what she was doing.
Okay. So this is no longer a case for Homicide. Flack will want to pursue a suspect for possible rape and assault charges. Why don't you collect a sex kit, send it over to DNA.
Oh. Dispatch. You know, I have a feeling it's going to be very busy day.
You'll be cutting off that guy's right arm and left leg.
"A small mistake can be significant enough to change everything that follows."
You know there'll be a civil trial.
Me, too.
If you're looking into the Alissa Danville case for mistakes, I expect to be consulted.
Mac, the murder weapon was in the alley with his DNA on it. What else did you expect to find?
He told me it was.
You went to see him.
You believe him?
11. Will & Grace (1998 TV Series)
Episode: Girls, Interrupted (2000)
Yeah, well you can count me out. If you think I'm gonna spend my Sunday morning with a bunch of self-loathing closet cases...
Excuse me. We are here to lead normal, heterosexual lives. Man and woman are meant to be together. So anyone here who has a misguided notion that Welcome Back Home is some kind of a - a gay pick-up joint, you can just leave right now.
You're coming on to me.
You think that you can just come in here and use this group, this group that puts people back on the path of righteousness, as some kind of dating service?
What are you two doing here?
Um, uh - we thought you had a gas leak.
Then why did you yell, "Surprise"?
Oh hey, lady la-la. What are you doing in here?
Hey! There is only one man in your life. And her name is Rosario, and don't you forget that.
And he gave me a picture of himself.
Did you even read this?
Well, I read the picture. And it said, "Mommy, mommy, give me some of Jack." Ah!
You'll get to be a lesbian.
Wake me by 11:00.
You know, like they're doing.
What are you implying?
What? I am shocked and appalled. But are you interested?
No! And I want to make something crystal clear to you and to everyone else in this room.
Well, look at 'em go. I haven't seen a stampede like this since Pamplona. Oh, my god, listen to me. I'm a funny lesbian. I'm Ellen!
12. Secretary (2002)
I'm so sorry for what happened between us. I realise what a... terrible mistake... I made with you. And I can... only hope... that you... understand. Be assured you can count on me for excellent references.
You are the child of God's holy gift of life. You come from me. But you are not me. Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.
In one way or another I've always suffered. I didn't know why exactly. But I do know that I'm not so scared of suffering now. I feel more than I've ever felt and I've found someone to feel with. To play with. To love in a way that feels right for me. I hope he knows that I can see that he suffers too. And that I want to love him.
Look, we can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
You're not shy. You're a lawyer.
Each cut, each scar, each burn, a different mood or time. I told him what the first one was, told him where the second one came from. I remembered them all. And for the first time in my life I felt beautiful. Finally part of the earth. I touched the soil and he loved me back.
Are you doing something sexual?
Does this look sexual to you?
Why do you cut yourself, Lee?
Is it that sometimes the pain inside has to come to the surface, and when you see evidence of the pain inside you finally know you're really here? Then, when you watch the wound heal, it's comforting... isn't it?
One scoop of creamed potatoes. A slice of butter. Four peas. And as much ice cream as you'd like to eat.
Do you really wanna be my secretary?
What are you do...
You know, Lee. There's a long history of this in Catholicism.
You're fired!
No, you're fired!
13. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
It's because of him, isn't it? Look, I know what he did to you. But Bella, I would never, ever do that. I won't ever hurt you. I promise. I won't let you down. You can count on me.
You can't trust vampires... Trust me.
Dear Alice, I wish I had your real address. I wish I could tell you about Jake. He makes me feel better. I mean, he makes me feel alive. The hole in my chest... well, when I'm with Jake it's like it's almost healed for a while. But even Jake can't keep the dreams away.
Oh, I don't think he will. After all, how much could you mean to him if he left you here unprotected? Victoria won't be happy about me killing you. But I can't help myself. You're so mouth-watering.
Yes... I needed you to see me once. You had to know that I was alive. You didn't need to feel guilty about it. I can let you go now.
Once Alice changes me, you can't get rid of me.
You can't trust vampires. Trust me
STOP! Stop. You can't hurt each other without hurting me.
You can't trust vampires. Trust me.
I needed to make you see me once. You had to know I was alive, but you didn't need to feel guilty about anything. I can... let you go now.
La tua cantante. Her blood appeals to you so much... it makes me thirsty. How can you stand to be so close to her?
It's my birthday, can I ask for something? Kiss me.
Nothing compared to what could've happened. I promise never to put you through anything like this ever again. This is the last time you'll ever see me.
You can go to hell.
Nothing! He tells me nothing because he's scared of you!
Alice. You've disappeared. Like everything else. Now who else can I talk to? I'm lost. When you left, and he left, you took everything with you. But the absence of him is everywhere I look. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. But In a way, I'm glad. The pain is the only reminder that he was real. That you all were.
The one from me isn't wrapped, so it doesn't count.
Would you mind telling me how it is you're still alive?
You can't really run with vampires. They're very fast.
Bella, I don't want you to come with me.
You... You don't want me?
You know, you're not the only one. My dad's been getting reports down at the station. Something like 5 hikers been killed by a bear, but they can't find the bear.
You gotta get that protein in there. You know I was just wondering if you wanted to go see a movie with me.
Tell me something... You like me, right?
I don't want you to. But that's just because I don't want you to go anywhere. It's really selfish. You know, I'm not like a car that you can fix up. I'm never going to run right.
You're my problem. Feeling sick? Maybe you need to go to the hospital. Do you want me to put you in the hospital?
She asked me to see if you were still under the protection of the Cullens. Victoria feels it's only fair if she kills Edwards mate, giving he killed hers. An eye for an eye.
I just have one condition if you want me to do it myself.
You won't stay with me any other way.
You wanted me to be human. Well, watch me.
You have to move! Open your eyes, look at me. I'm alive. You have to move!
I lied. I had to lie, and you believed me so easily.
Because it doesn't make sense for you to love me. I'm nothing... Human. Nothing.
Bella, you're everything to me. Everything.
No, you can go to hell.
You can sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up.
Bella, do not ever do that to me again. Ever. And you're grounded for the rest of your life.
Can you? I hope you can, because, I honestly don't know how to live without you.
You all know what I want. And I know it's a lot to ask for. The only fair way I can think of is if we put this to a vote.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry to both of you for how I've acted. And I'm really grateful that you were brave enough to go save my brother. But this isn't a life I would have chosen for myself. And I wish that there had been someone to vote no for me. So no.
Why are you doing this to me? You know what this means.
You've chosen not to live without her, which leaves me no choice. I won't lose my son.
Just give me five years and I'll change you.
I have one condition... if you want me to do it myself.
Alice, you've disappeared, like everything else. Now who else can I talk to? I'm lost. When you left, when he left, you took everything with you. But the absence of him is everywhere I look. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. But in a way I'm glad, the pain was the only reminder that he was real. That you all were.
Bella, you give me everything by just breathing.
Bella you give me everything just by breathing.
Would you like to explain to me how you're alive?
You can't really run with vampires... cause they're fast.
Jacob, I know you have something to say to me. but I'd like to say something to you if that's alright. Thank you. Thank you for... keeping Bella alive when I didn't.
No, you didn't. And it wasn't for your benefit trust me.
Jake, I love you. So please, don't make me choose. Cause it'll be him. It's always been him.
You influence me? Please.
Umm I'm older then you making you the influencee and me the influencer.
But my size and knowledge base makes me older then you, due to your general paleness and lack of know how.
Bells, you're going to Jacksonville. This behaviour, it's just not normal and frankly it's scaring the hell out of me, and your mother. Just go to Jacksonville make some new friends.
You can't really run with vampires... 'cause they're fast...
It's not about soul Bella. You're just not good for me!
Have you ever has a secret? One that wasn't yours to tell? well that's what it's like for me, only worse, you have no idea how tight I'm bound.
No Sam's trying to help me! Don't blame him! But if you want to blame someone blame your little bloodsucking friends of yours, The Cullens
I thought you couldn't protect me here.
I can't see past you and your pack of mutts.
You promised me.
Yes. I promised I was never going to hurt you, and this is me keeping that promise. Go home, and don't come back, or else you're going to get hurt.
You influence me? Please.
Are you... I'm older than you so that makes me the influencer and you the influencee.
Hah! No. No. No. My size and knowledge actually makes me older than you because of your general paleness and lack of know-how.
I convinced you to build two wheel death machines with me. Don't you think that makes you kinda young and naive.
You have to move! Open your eyes, look at me. I'm alive! You have to move!
I lied. I had to lie. And you believed me so easily.
Because it doesn't make sense for you to love me. I'm... nothing, human... nothing.
Bella, you're everything to me. You're everything.
Would you like to explain to me how your still alive?
All right forget time limits. If you want me to be the one, then you'll just have to meet one condition.
Aro can read every thought I ever had, with one touch. And now you know everything. So get on with it.
You are quite a soul reader yourself Edward. Though, you can't read Bella's thoughts... Fascinating!
I would love to see... if you are an exception to my gifts as well. Would you do me the honor?
I love you. You're my only reason to stay alive... if that's what I am.
You're sort of beautiful.
How hard did you hit your head?
Bella, you're apologizing for bleeding?
Alice, that cake could feed fifty. You guys don't even eat.
Every second that I'm with you is about restraint... and you're too fragile.
Have you ever had a secret you couldn't tell anyone?
He left you Bella! He didn't want you anymore.
Bella! It's Edward. He thinks you're dead!
So, you're an adrenaline junkie now?
You just don't belong in my world Bella.
I belong with you.
I know what he did to you but Bella, I want you to know I will never hurt you.
You are a human who knows entirely too much about us. They could kill us all.
What will we do with you now?
You already know what you're going to do, Aro.
Hmm, don't remind me.
It's my job to protect you. From everyone, except my sister.
You've killed people Jake.
We only kill what we are trying to protect you from, vampires.
What did you do?
What did you do to him?
Ow! But we do? What did he do, hmm? What? Did he tell you?
Both of you! Calm down.
Imagine the situation in reverse. If you believed you'd be destroying Edward's soul... Would you do it?
Do you remember him making that distinction?
It's one year older than you.
You promised you wouldn't do anything stupid or reckless.
You promised it would be as if you never existed. You lied.
I've brought you something. It's a little crazy.
Woah, you're buff. What are you, like 16?
Age is just a number baby. What are you now, 40?
Quil keeps asking to come over. I think he likes you a little too much.
What's up with you and age? I mean, how old was the Cullen guy anyway?
He started missing school, then all of a sudden he started following Sam around like a little puppy. Same thing happened with Paul and Jared. And Sam keeps giving me this look like he's waiting for me or something. It's kinda staring to freak me out.
Well, you should just avoid him.
It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time.
Bella, you're crossing a line.
Do not get me upset. Things are gonna get very ugly!
You're not the first monsters I've met.
Jake's right, you're good with weird
Are you trying to get yourself killed?
I'm coming with you!
I'm telling you, I saw something in the woods!
It's okay, baby. I believe you.
Or an alien. You're lucky you didn't get probed.
Hahahaha. Last time you clowns doubt my girlfriend!
So listen... Now that you're talking again... And eating... You know
Okay... We could check out "Love spelled backwards is love" You know, it's a dumb title, but, um, it's a romantic comedy, it's suppose to be...
No. No romance. Uh, well, how about "Face Punch" You heard of that?
We should get a bunch of people... You guys wanna go see "Face Punch" ?
So, "Face Punch", huh? You like action movies?
Hey... Are you even old enough to see this movie? I mean, without adult supervision?
Right... Yeah. Well, she's buying my ticket for me.
And you think I'm sorta beautiful?
Because you're about to ruin everything. And I need you.
Jake, the movie's over. What are you doing? Jake... You're really hot... You feel like you have a fever. Are you okay?
Yes, you do!
Alice... Things are bad again. Without Jake... I can't stand it. I don't see Edward anymore. Now it really feels like he never existed. I will find a place where I can see him again.
I didn't expect to find you here. I went to visit the Cullens, but, the house is empty. I'm surprised they left you behind. Weren't you sort of a pet of theirs?
Yeah. You could say that.
I'll tell them that you stopped by. I probably shouldn't tell... Edward. He's pretty protective.
Why are you here?
Edward would know who did it! And he'd come after you.
Please don't. I mean, you helped us.
Shhhh. Don't be afraid. I'm doing this out of kindness. Victoria plans on killing you slowly and briefly, where as I'll make it quick. I promise. You will feel nothing.
Edward, I love you.
So, you're a werewolf?
Marry me, Bella.
Please? For me?
Um... That's probably me. I've... It's Jacob.
Bella it's Edward, he thinks you're dead!
Please stay here. For Charlie. For me.
I'm begging you. Please.
You know what will happen anyway.
You're here!
You're alive!
I could never let go of you. I just couldn't live in a world where you didn't exist.
But you said...
Bella, why don't you go enjoy the rest of the festival?
You wouldn't.
Please! No, no! Please! Kill me! Kill me! Not him!
How extraordinary! You would give up your life for someone like us. A vampire. A soulless monster.
You don't know a thing about his soul.
You're here.
Bella, the only reason why I left is because I thought I was protecting you. So that you could have a chance at a normal, happy life.
It was so easy for you to leave.
Leaving you was the hardest thing I've done in 100 years. I swear, I will never fail you again. I'm so sorry. Charlie's coming.
Hey. You okay?
I'm fine. Dad, you don't have to worry.
Yeah, last time you said that you took off and I didn't see you for three days.
I'm not technically breaking any of his rules. He did say never to take a step through his door, but I came in through the window. He's not going to forgive me easily.
She won't need to change you. There are always ways to keep the Volturi in the dark.
Bella, you don't know what you're doing.
I already consider you my sister... Yes!
Thank you.
I vote yes. It would be nice not to want to kill you all the time.
I vote hell yeah! We can pick a fight with the Volturi some other way.
I already think of you as part of the family. Yes!
You're so stubborn.
What are you waiting for?
Marry me, Bella.
It's my job to protect you. From everyone but my sister...
Wait, you're not leaving, you're coming back, right?
As soon as you put the dog out.
I've already seen you open it, and guess what: you love it! You're gonna wear it tonight. Our place.
Great! Okay, I'll see you at seven.
So how come Jacob Black gets to give you a present and I don't?
Cause I have nothing to give back to you.
I didn't think you would be opposed to grand theft auto.
Age is just a number babe. What are you now, 40?
Marry me, Bella.
Hey, you're not going anywhere? You're going to come back, right?
As soon as you put the dog out.
So... You're the vampire girl...
...So you're the wolf girl.
Please don't make me choose. Because it will be him, everytime. It's always been him.
No, it's a Jacob thing, you could be like your own sun.
You stay the hell out of my head!
I'm still grateful. But I'm here now. I'm not leaving her side until she orders me away.
We'll see. Hey, my turn to talk. I'm here to remind you of a key point in the treaty.
But if I choose it it has nothing to do with you.
No I won't let you. you're not going to be one of them Bella!
It's not up to you.
You know what we'll do to you, I won't have a choice.
No, is he going to hurt me? Read his mind.
No you don't speak for her!
I convinced you to build two wheeled death machines don't you think that makes you kind of young and naive?
I'm 35. You might be like 32.
Well you never see them any more.
You hate shopping.
Oh and get this, we can hear each others thoughts.
Would you shut up? These are trade secrets! Damnit! This chick runs with vampires!
You're not he first monsters I've met.
You're apologizing for bleeding?
What're you staring at?
...You're sort of beautiful.
How hard did you hit your head?
If this is about my soul, take it I don't want it with out you!
Not good enough for you.
I got her, thank you Sam
How do you do it?
Did you ever think of just doing it the easy way?
No. I knew who I wanted to be. I wanted to help people. It brings me happiness, even if I am damned regardless.
Carlisle, you couldn't be damned. You couldn't. It's impossible.
Thank you, Bella. You've always been very... gracious about us.
So that's it? That's why he won't change me?
Imagine the situation in reverse, hmm. If you believed as Edward does, could you take away his soul?
Senior year! How'd you get so old so fast?
Bells, what the hell were you doing in the woods?
Are you sure about that?
I hate this. I hate what they've done to you.
I mean the killer part is you already know. Bella do remember when we walked the beach at La Push, the story?
Guess I understand why that's the only part you remember.
It's one year old then you.
I was just buying a part for the Rabbit. You should really come take a ride when it's done.
Jacob! You cut your hair off? And got a tattoo? I throught you were to sick to come outside or pick up the phone when I call.
What happened to you? Did Sam do this to you?
Hello biceps. You know, anabolic steroids are really bad for you.
No, you're just a harmless Cullen. I'm talking about the other bloodsucker who tried to kill Bella because of you.
I didn't see her. I didn't see you get pulled out of the water, either.
Don't get me upset.
You know what will happen anyway.
I'm 35 and you might be like 32.
You're here.
You're alive!
I never acted out of guilt. I just couldn't live in a world where you don't exist.
But you said...
Ah sister, they send you out for one and you get two... and a half. Such a clever girl.
What about the part where you're his girlfriend?
You know what you have to do, Aro.
Marry me.
You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you and you think it's a joke.
What the hell were you thinking?
So you've made up your minds.
I'm afraid your particular gifts are too valuable to destroy, but... if you're unhappy with your lot, join us, we would be delighted to utilize your skills. Won't you consider staying with us?
You know what would happen anyway.
Yes I can see that.
Hahahahahaha. Remarkable. She confounds us all. So, what do we do with you now?
You already know what you're going to do Aro.
Please! No, no! Please! Kill me... kill me. Not him
How extraordinary. You would give up your life... for someone like us. A vampire. A soulless monster.
You don't know a thing... about his soul.
Mesmerizing. To see what you have seen, before it is happened.
Let us be done with this. Heidi will arrive, any moment. Thank you... for your visit.
We'll return the favor: I would advise that you followthrough on your promise soon... We do not offer second chances.
14. The Bold and the Beautiful (1987 TV Series)
Episode: Episode #1.5445 (2008)
Hey, look, I understand. It's okay. But listen, while he's away, I'm here for you. You can count on me, all right? Come here. It's gonna be just fine.
Brooke? Brooke? I'm here for dinner, like you asked.
15. The Golden Girls (1985 TV Series)
Episode: Sophia's Choice (1989)
You can count on me, honey.
Problems, problems! The world is bringing me problems! And you are?
Rose, what the hell is going on? I ask for Lillian, you bring me Eubie Blake's parents!
Do you think it's gonna be that easy getting rid of me, Rose?
Why do we let things like this happen? Why can't we take care of our elderly like they do in Japan? WHY are there 17 sets of hooters on the coffee table!
Oh, well let me put on my big "surprise face"!
You said you were Lillian!
You think I'm in here because I'm good with names?
That was rhetorical, Rose. But what a comforting thought, knowing you'll never be alone.
16. Just Shoot Me! (1997 TV Series)
Episode: Watch Your Backdraft (2003)
You can count on me.
Can you believe he's wasting our time with this drivel?
So this is how you help me, by telling everyone in the office?
Do you hear that voice too?
No, I mean the voice of my father mocking me for the way I throw a football. Stop it, daddy!
A friend never wants to know you slept with her husband... or her son, for that matter.
Pete just dumped me. Out of the blue, he just dumped me. What the hell happened?
Maybe it's another woman. Or maybe you're just not that good in bed.
I'll tell you, but you have to promise no judgment.
You whore!
Come on, first you talk about Elliot's "bowls" and then you sleep with Pete. It's not like you're wearing white at the wedding.
You're late.
That Toastman really burns me up. I call him for a little meet-and-greet and he won't answer.
You told people I slept with Pete?
Hey, Maya. I heard you and Pete played hooks and ladders at the firehouse.
You told Elliot?
Hey, Maya, I heard you and Toastman had a threeway with Pete. Way to go, Superfreak.
17. Get Smart (1965 TV Series)
Episode: The Day They Raided the Knights (1969)
Ok Chief, you can count on me. I'll be up first thing in the morning and I'll check out every topless retaurant in town.
A stereophonic pistol? That's fantastic, Chief. You mean you can shoot a bullet from this barrel, and you can shoot a bullet from this barrel and if you stand in between, it's just like being there in person.
Well, I see you last worked as an airline stewardess.
Oh. Oh, and the airlines wouldn't let you fly any more?
Do you know what this is is?
Over budget or no over budget, I can't afford to lay off 5 agents. There must be some mistake.
Sorry Chief, but you know this computer, it doesn't make mistakes.
18. Mork & Mindy (1978 TV Series)
Episode: In Mork We Trust (1979)
Yes sir you can count on me. You see, when children are young, they're told not to talk to strangers. When they go to school, they're told not to talk to the person next to them. Finally when they're very old, they're told not to talk to themselves, who's left?
Oh can you honestly say that since Watergate? Come on.
I can't believe you called all my friends!
I can't believe what they called you!
Any friend of Mindy's is a friend of mine, listen, did you steal Mindy's necklace? What? Well I don't know what that has to do with anything but yes I can blow it out my ear!
Don't you think you should change your clothes first?
Oh you're right, it's tough to be macho in a plastic green dress.
Mork, it can be against the law to go in somebody's apartment when they're not home, even if the door's not locked.
I'll love you more than you'll ever know.
I'll love you more than you'll ever know.
And quit putting ice cubes in the drinks. Do you know what it's like to have 13 people above you all tinkling at the same time?
Mork, why were you crossing the road?
You know Bicky, you're like my own son. If you could talk, I wonder what you'd say.
You're a thief, pop!
Well that hurts, Bicky, but... wait a minute, dogs can't talk, there must be some other animal in here. Come on out!
Oh yes sir, and how they suffer. One man I know suffers so much he has to take a medication called bourbon, even that doesn't help very much because then he can hear paint dry.
No because I've heard that sleeping alone is part of the problem. You see, Orson, loneliness is a disease of the spirit. People who have it think that no one cares about them.
Do you have any idea why?
Are you saying Earthlings make each other lonely?
It's too bad everybody down there can't get together and find a cure.
Are you alright?
Oh, could you breathe down there?
Oh, well I'm sorry all those people fell on you, Mork.
Why don't you just come out and say you don't want to play the silly game?
Thank you!
Oh so that's why when she told me to drop dead she spelled it out, 'Give me a D, give me an R, give me an O'.
I didn't know you were married.
Every night, I pray... the old bat doesn't find me. She didn't like me either.
19. South of Nowhere (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Friends, Lovers, Others, and Brothers (2005)
But you can count on me, I promise. Please don't let Saturday night ruin us, okay? Forgive me?
I can't believe he's never seen you do that before.
So, on Saturday, you guys will should just meet me at Gray. Your names will be on the list.
Spencer, do you want me to pick you up?
Excuse me! I don't take rainchecks. Let me guess, you're doing something with the Ellen twins.
Right, You know what, you're the one who's supposed to be taking care of me right now. My Dad hasn't even shown up yet and I'm starting to wonder if he ever will. It just sucks, okay?
Hey Dad, it's me, Ashley. I'm just calling to check in on you, it's like ten o'clock and I go on in fifteen minutes. Okay, well, I hope to see you soon all right, bye.
You want me to go with you, help you explain?
I could use a friend I can count on in my life. There are enough people who I can't.
It's offical, you're an ass.
I'm so excited. My Dad's finally gonna be able to see me play.
I don't care who comes, as long as you guys are there.
You've gotta aim higher, Spence.
Shouldn't be hard - that's what you look like every day.
I think it's perfect. As long as you plan to accessorize... with a shirt.
You are such a strange girl.
You would know!
I'm nervous about my Dad seeing me play. I've tried so hard to be good at what he's great at... and I just don't think it's going to be enough.
Are you kidding? He's going to be so proud of you.
Desperately, I'm sure. I need to talk to you... alone.
Aw, you better get used to that whole alone thing, 'cause your boy... he's moving on.
Bite me Queer Eye.
Not if you were the last Barbie on Earth.
So, I have a fabulous idea. Saturday night you and I are going to have a wicked hot date, which we desperately need. Sherry's uncle's the might manager at the Fairfax Suites and he'll het us a great room.
Yeah, but when you see what I'm wearing, you'll forget what day it is, I swear.
Sounds great. But can we do it another night? I've kind of got some plans I don't wan't to break.
No? Because I'm starting to wonder about you, so you better get busy baby, or someone else will be fringing my benefits.
You're not that old.
Hey! You guys made it.
Wow, you look great. Are you ready?
As ready as I'm gonna be. I told Bernie to put me up at the end of her set, my Dad's going to be late. He likes to slip in after the show starts, he doesn't want to steal anyone's thunder.
Okay, you're good. Now who's the other one for?
She's cute. And a minor. So you better behave, or I'll take a closer look at your ID.
I'm gonna head over to the stage. Talk to the sound guy and try not to be nervous. Here, save some for me.
Okay! stop. You're drunk right now and I cannot take care of you.
I don't need anyone to take care of me...
Ash, you're Dad's not a no-show, you said he's always late. Just don't give up, okay?
Yeah, whatever, look, I'll meet you out there. I have to get it together before I go on stage,
You'll be great. You'll be great.
How are you feeling? How was the rest of your weekend?
Yeah, you and my fling with with Ashley's flask. What was I thinking?
After three shots you weren't.
So did I do anything with you that I should be embarrassed about?
No, not at all. I mean, it was great until you passed out.
Well, at least you had Aiden to hold your hair back.
We're not together. I was drunk and stupid, and after the way I acted I'm lucky that we're still friends. You and I still friends?
Forgiven, but you're on probation.
20. The Crush (1993)
Seriously, Adrian. I want you to know, you can count on me. I'll always be your friend, no matter what. Okay? Okay.
Aren't you going to tell me break a leg?
God Amy, when I grow up I hope I can be just as smart as you.
You scared me.
You scared the hell out of me.
She'll be okay. Just goes to show you, Nick. You can never be too careful.
It's nice. You should definitely go. Nick took me. Maybe he'd take you sometime.
Adrian, let me explain a little somethin' to you. One day, when you're all grown up, and you have a real relationship. You'll realize your feelings for Nick were just a thing. Just a crush. In fact, I bet by the time school starts, you'll have completely forgotten all about him.
God, Amy... When I grow up I hope I can be just as smart as you.
I'll tell the lawyers about the diary. But, you gotta forget all about Adrian. She's sick, you understand? Come on, you already showed me.
I know. But, I can take care of myself. Come on, I'll walk you.
Did you take my picture? The one of me and my grandfather?
Adrian, you can't do that.
Adrian, you just can't go around doing that. It isn't right.
I just wanted you to like me.
No, it's not. You don't know how hard it is for me to make friends. I mean my parents made me skip two grades in school. My only friend is Cheyenne, and it's only because... well, my mom and her mom went to college together. So, she kinda has to. It's like everybody thinks I'm some kind of freak or something. Like I'm crazy.
Hi. Can I talk to you a sec?
Now, look! Let's avoid any confusion here! I'm gonna make this very simple for you. You're - You're too young for me. There's nothing between us. Nothing!
I want you to go with me.
Could you give me a hand gettin' this stuff upstairs. I don't think my back's gonna make it.
you get the idea. Plan was to turn this whole attic into a kind of playroom, you know, for Adrian. Only problem was she never took to it. Now, I can't get the damn thing down. You know, Nick, Adrian's a... very special girl.
You scared me I didn't know who was up here.
I came back here for you, Nick. My parents tried to take me away, but I fooled them.
You were so cute. Can I have it?
Ha, ha, ha. Now, will you get outta here, and let me get dressed?
I know you want to...
What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a Valiant before?
Wait. how did you get in?
If you like that kind of thing.
Oh, this? It helps me think. Come in. Come in.
So, what're you doing?
Oh, pretty dry stuff, really. You wouldn't be interested.
Try me.
'Kay. Uh, you ever hear of Robert Levansky?
Allegedly stoled. Um, anyway I found his chauffeur... he told me that he regularly drove Levansky up to a house in Knollwood. Seems Levansky had a... a friend.
You mean a lover?
You sure you're only fourteen?
What are you doing?
Um... sticks for the marshmallows, you know? But those bees.
Bees won't bother you, unless you bother them. Wasps are different. They're territorial and they're social.
I thought you were Cheyenne.
So, now you like Cheyenne?
Maybe you'd like to visit her in the hospital.
Hospital? What're you talking about?
You know I was wondering... Have you ever been at the lighthouse?
You mean Shelter Point?
Hello, Adrian. How are you today?
What'd you do last night?
What do you mean?
I mean you slept at Nick's, didn't you?
Well, I mean you didn't... you know...
Jesus! Cheyenne, what're you doing here?
I had to talk to you.
Aw, you shouldn't be here. I've gotten in enough trouble.
Y-You didn't do those things to Adrian. Y-Y-You didn't do those things.
Did Adrian ever tell you about a guy named Rick?
But, she's a liar. She's lying about you.
Hey, Cheyenne. Why're you so slow?
Everybody asks me that.
Oh, don't worry about it. You go get dressed, and I'll take care of Vertigo.
Sugar. Well, um, if you didn't, uh, actually see her - Is that right?
So, you're not absolutely certain?
Adrian, I have a question for you.
Did you scratch up Nick's car?
Well, that's that, then. Can I have some of that newspaper there?
I ne-I need to talk to you. About Adrian.
Not now. Meet me in back of the orchard at seven, when the streetlights come on, okay?
Miss me?
What do you think I'm doin'? What am I always do? I'm workin'.
Aw, Nick. Can't ya come out and play?
Alright. I'll talk to you later.
I'd knew you'd come.
I'll tell ya, if you were ten years older...
You'd what? So, how did your boss like the article?
It was you? You rewrote it?
Wait a minute, how'd you get in?
Worked though, didn't it? Poor Nick, you have such a terrible time with the objective case, and your split infinitives put such a stress on the adverb.
Of course, I like you.
Then take me for a ride in the Valiant!
Yeah, just for a little while. There's a place I want to show you.
Look, I know I'm not the world's greatest writer, but, uh, believe me it's - it's hard to take being better by a fourteen-year-old kid. It's okay, really.
Hey, hey. Come on. We can be friends.
You don't have to.
Please don't be afraid of me.
What do you wanna talk about?
Well, uh - I don't know, to tell you the truth it's - it's a little awkward. Uh, would you mind stopping that?
Never mind. I don't know where to begin. I - I guess what I want to stay is... I really like you, Adrian.
I really like you, too.
No, I - I mean - as a friend. I mean, let's face it, you're fourteen, I'm twenty-eight. That's a big difference.
Whatever you say.
Was sneaking in to watch me undress a mistake, too? Hmm? Nick, ever do a virgin?
I know you want to.
Brought you a present, Nick.
Thank you.
I don't think we need another break do you?
No, no, I don't think so. Looks like you took care of everything.
If it's worth anything, I'm glad you're moving.
You're glad. I'm overjoyed.
I gotta ask you a question.
Are you going?
What? You mean, like, together? On a date?
No, wait a minute. What ever happen to, "Don't get your meat where you lay your eggs," thing?
Bread where you make your bread.
Well, I wouldn't wanna see you slow dance with Samantha.
What are you doin' here?
What? You mean here? Well, I was just, uh, returning a book to Adrian. She's upstairs.
There. You are a pal.
Now, careful there, my man. I don't need any lawsuits, you know what I mean?
Well, motor's kinda old, you know. Takes a little while to get up to speed. Anyway,
You know, I swear to God not a night goes by I don't lay awake dreading that knock on the door, you know what I'm talkin' about, don't you?
Aw, hi, sweetheart. We were just talkin' about you.
Book? Oh, well, that must've been Wuthering Heights. Did you like it?
Wuthering Heights, huh? Sounds a little femme to me.
Uh - Well, they think she'll live but - Anyway, I think its brought Nick and I a lot closer. Well, you'll sit with him, won't you?
He'll be here. Aren't ya gonna tell me to break a leg?
So, this is what it takes to finally get you up here?
What're you doing?
You wanna do her, too, is that it? I'm not good enough for you?
I came back here for you, and I found you with my best friend. I still love you, Nick!
I was kinda hopin' moving this week. If it's alright with you?
Well, why don't we let your check clear and get that shower fixed? I'll let you know first thing next week.
Great. Thank you, Mrs. Tinkerman. Thank you.
You know, most people knock!
I did. You didn't hear!
Is this you?
Mm-hmm. That is me and David Cummings.
You always write in a computer?
Makes you wonder how, uh, your grandfather got along. Then again, he wasn't writing for trendy magazines, was he?
Wow. Cool. Thank you, Adrian. Now, I'm late.
Um, you're gonna to my parents' party on Saturday night, aren't you?
My mother invited you, didn't she?
I said, "I'll try." Now, let me go.
Oh, Nick! Nick, I'm so glad you could make it.
My wife speaks very highly of you. How's everything out back?
Oh, well, it's great, sir. Uh, you have a beautiful place.
Well, thank you. You enjoy it.
Thank you.
21. Gold Diggers: The Secret of Bear Mountain (1995)
I swear I'll come through for you, you can count on me.
Are you angry with me? You are, I can tell.
You can't just lay there what about the tide?
That's the second promise you made to me today.
I told my mom, what happend to you. She didn't believe me.
Are you accusing me of theft Easton?
Beth, that's from when you tried to kill me with your bike.
Don't worry about me. I'm pretty tough, I can take care of myself.
It takes twenty-four hours for bruises to show. Tomorrow I'll wake up looking like an eggplant. This could cost you major dollars.
Just how dumb do you think I am?
You laugh like a horse.
You look like one.
Does your mother know you come here?
My mother? My mother probably thinks I'm still in the next room. You've heard about her haven't you?
You know Beth, when you lie your whole face twitches.
You'll have to go for help. I'll just have to lay here.
You're not going to drown.
Are you scared?
You are too.
You know, there are a couple of cute boys there.
Say you'll climb the mountain.
This is amazing. You're amazing!
Do you think she misses it?
IT. You know.
I don't want you thinking I'm dumb. I'm not dumb.
Don't get weird on me.
Where'd you get the money?
I don't believe you!
Yeah, well according to the Sheriff, your so called hero, can't walk into a store without stealing something.
Do they know where were going? Does anyone know? You didn't tell did you?
Come back with me! Tell them the truth, it was self defense. Tell them how Ray was treating your mother.
You couldn't keep us apart, because nothing you say could ever change the way I feel about her, ever!
What are you, her mother?
Who do you think you are evil-kinevil?
Oh my gosh, I was going crazy, I didn't think I'd ever see you again!
Did you see Jody? I mean, is she okay?
Me too, it's so childish.
Jody's in danger and you're not doing anything!
Beth swear. Swear you won't say anything!
I'm angry this happen to you.
You're not worth it.
You got one? Who's motor was it?
Everybody thinks I'll wind up in jail. Well sorry folks, I'll have to dissapoint you.
Nobody ever believes me.
Okay, if you say so.
22. Bad Girls (1999 TV Series)
You can count me out. What about at night? Doesn't it have to be kept warm permanently?
You can't even look me in the eye.
Don't give me that - embezzlement and theft! You can stand there looking all saintly with your rosary and that gettup... but your worse than a common thief! Using God to cover up your crimes!
You can't leave me like this. This is shit.
No, let me say it for her. What was she telling us is that none of us are safe in here, ain't she? Cause even if we're bleeding to death, we don't get believed. Well, I'm telling her from us, you lot can't run this prison unless we help you. And if we don't get respect from your screws, don't think we're gonna make you look good in front of you VIP visitors cause we're not. So you can shove your stupid fashion show up your arse.
You know, I can't remember the last time anybody bought me a present. You're like a knight in shining... well, a white van.
If you think you have the right to call yourself that... been stealing from the poor little black babbies, haven't you? There really isn't anyone you can trust these days.
I see you've made your mind up about me and I'm sorry about that, but I'm quite prepared to spend six months of the given sentence if it is God's will. He knows righteousness, and he is the only judge I bow before.
You had no right taking advantage of me.
Why don't you examine me to find out, darlin'?
Ah, but you see, I blame you Helen, cause everytime I walk in here, I have to face the evil cow who came that far away from killing me.
You wanna be scared of me, Atkins?
Thanks to you, I had to walk back on this wing with a nuter who tried to stick me and now you're telling me that Nikki Wade, The cop killer, is innocent too. You make me sick.
About the only thing you can't get your hands on innit?
You know one of the best things about walking away from a job? All of sudden you realise you've got nothing left to lose... I may be on my way out Jim but I am gonna drag you all the way down with me. Enjoy it while it lasts.
If you can't beat 'em, leg it!
Wow, are you both for me?
You must got to let me smoke da wisdom weed or you is oppressin' me!
You give me that!
Look just get *off* me! You're not my keeper.
Hiya, Mrs Hollamby! Bet you didn't expect to see me again so soon, eh?
A lot of you already know me, those of you who don't, well, you will. I've got a lifetime of experience in this service and if it's taught me one thing, there's no point in a "them and us" inside these walls. I run a regime based on co-operation and respect. Now that works both ways - you respect me, I'll respect you. You don't... well, you'll wish you had.
No thanks to you. All that drink-your-own-urine nonsense. You've been having me on, admit it.
You never said four times. I can barely bare to choke it down once a day.
Yeah, well you can stick 'em up your chuff 'cause I ain't putting up with it no more.
Look what you did to me, Janine.
I don't know how you can live with yourself.
No, you didn't! Neither of you did - it was me. I killed Fenner!
But the trouble is you can't buy people's love. They either give it to you, or they don't.
What you looking at?
Not half as as many years as you.
In here on holiday, are you?
How can she do that when she's dead, stupid?
I'd rather trust a nonce in a playground than you, Fenner.
If you consider stealing - to be making sure that money raised by generous Christians actually goes direct to the mission it was intended - then I'm guilty as charged. But I'd rather think, that helping the poor and starving of Africa is more important than lining in the pockets of greedy administrators in London.
Well put me down the block then. Go on... Rule 47, subsection 16, being disrespectful to the wing governor - by kissing her.
Come on you twatting twat. I said come on.
I wouldn't trust that little psycho with my toe nail clippings. Would you, Babs?
You gotta laugh, ain't ya? I mean there's us saying we done murder on her and all it took were a nut.
If you think that's funny then I suggest there's something seriously wrong with your attitude.
Congratulations, you've won a car.
This place fills me full of laughs.
You better make sure no one gets their frigging thieving fingers on that stuff.
Don't worry. We keep all the thieves under lock and key. That's why you're here in case you forgot.
You'll get in line like the rest of us.
What are you gonna do?
It changes where you go when you die. You two-faced bitch.
Don't you wish is was electric.
What are you going to call yourself Yvonne?
Oh, it's gotta be a name with discipline for me, girls. Call me Sylvia Hollamby, the stern screw that likes strictness and spanking. Disobedience will be severely dealt with.
Thomas is gorgeous and he's everything you would want in a man, but I want a woman.
Well, if Fenner's anything to go by, you'd be better off training chimpanzees.
Not unless you age at the speed of light.
Oi Wade. Did you have a good time with the squat squad?
Another day gone Monica. How many you've got left?
Not many I hope. What about you?
Do you think I was born yesterday?
All right, lets have you.
Well I'm going back to my cell now; see if I can remember where I hid that nice, sharp razor blade.
Dockley, do us all a favour; when you find it, use it on yourself.
Why did you attack Michelle Dockley?
So why are you seeing them?
Well I'm assuming they've got something to tell me.
If you think we're manning the barricades while you drool and dribble into that thing then...
Cut the crap, Sylvia. You never ring your old man to tell him to get your haemorrhoid cream? Poor sod.
You leave my Bobby out of it.
You know, I'm not convinced he's a lawyer, he didn't look devious enough.
What is it with you Stewart? Just gotta look at a murderer and you go moist.
You're out of line Jim.
Well that is a relief, if you'd approved I'd known I was doing something wrong. Get outta my face.
Where are you going?
Glad to see you've still got your sense of humour Wade.
That little incident, giving the hand-job under the table in the visitor's room, didn't help you much.
I can't keep it at the right temperature.
Body heat. You now? Thought we could take it in turns.
Fine. CONSIDER IT CANCELLED! THIS WING WILL NOT BE TAKING PART. And *you* are on rule 43. Lock 'em up.
You gonna shut it Wade or what?
If I find anything you're mine, for a very long time.
You scared I'm going to carve somebody wit dem Jammie Dodger?
Any of you seen my hair oil?
What are you grinning at? Did you take my hair oil?
After you used it? Are you joking!
Well someone did! £2.50 that cost me!
I hope you know what the bible says about a knife through a knife!
I thought you liked bananas! So much for being generous, then. Would you rather have an apple, then?
You don't know what Bobby and I are going through right now. Shall I tell you how many people he's buried in the first half of this tax year? Five... and two of them were children
And now we wake up to this nightmare coming back to haunt us! Why couldn't you have chucked her in the canal and drowned her properly!
I'll tell you why, because she's pregnant!
So what did you tell that half-wit?
I went to tell her that you have nothing to do with my situation.
That you're clean.
Oh, thank you.
What are you doing?
God help you! If you mentioned anything!
Would I bite the hand that feeds? I took the rap for everything. I'd like to think we might take that into consideration for the future. Your business activities can continue? unhindered.
I'm surprised it's taken you as long, O'Kane - your sort always get vertigo on the straight and narrow.
A bit like you, Teen.
You may be able to scam some of the newer girls, Fenner, but we know what colour your shit is.
The ophthalmologist says your cornea's scratched, so keep taking Cloranfenicol to avoid any enophthalmitis and you might make some progress.
Sorry to bother you, sir...
You! Tull!
Mrs. Hollamby, you look appalling!
You've swollen up like a balloon.
I've told you all I know. I mean, I never believed it would work because I never believed in the stupid curse in the first place. But, if you want to drink your own wee four times a day...
Well, then don't. I mean, I'm only responsible for serving you tea and biscuits.
Bleedin' cancer might come back and beat me, but I ain't gonna let Fenner.
What you playing at? I'm doing the sodding lot out here.
Careful, Tina, the Voodoo Dolly might hear you.
I wouldn't let that concern you, O'Kane.
Seems that Voodoo Doll turned out to be my lucky charm - thanks to an inheritance, I'm a property millionairess. Now get off your backsides and start working or you're sacked!
I can make myself useful - pick pockets, whatever. I'm good at nickin'.
So that's why you're banged up for it, yeah.
'Ere! You pair must think I'm a right muppet! Every time I turn round, you two have f'ed off somewhere.
You have our sincere apologies.
What you puttin' it in here for?
You're having a flippin' laugh, int ya?
Cheer up, ladies. What am I saying? Of course! You two have got sod all to be happy about, haven't you?
Why don't you give her these as well? Take everything! And, if that's not enough, then come back and take my life because I would rather be dead than beaten up.
Look, all Natalie wants is for you to stop being a grass. So just learn your lesson.
Look, I didn't want to, did I? I had to... otherwise it is me that's gonna end up friggin' dead.
Oi! They better sack that bitch after what she did to me.
Yeah, well it's the sparkle, isn't it? I can't tell the difference.
Er, do you know the size you'd like, sir?
I trust you'll throw in a presentation box.
No, it weren't - it was me. I killed Fenner.
And me, I killed Fenner.
What you in here for then? Nicking gob-stoppers?
You wanna break?
What was you expecting to happen?
Just that she'd love me
Well, why is it always don't with me?
I'm doing my BEST! What do you want? Prozzie jokes?
Excuse me?
Dispatched them all, have you?
I reckon Fenner would be a prime candidate to be undead. Think about it. All the things he did when he was alive... imagine what he can do now that he's dead.
23. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008 TV Movie)
Well, you can count me out.
All right. Whatever. But nobody tells me I can't dance. Let's see your moves.
What is your dad going to say when he finds out you've been wasting precious study time flirting with the nerd patrol?
Pardon me for ever cracking open a guidebook.
They say if you kiss someone there at sunset, you'll know in your heart if your love is true.
24. Clone High (2002 TV Series)
Episode: Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand (2002)
Sure I buckled under the pressure of living up to the original Gandhi and became a non-stop party machine, but damnit, I still care. So, Joan, you can count on me.
Yeah that's facinating. But we're paying you to monitor these clones as closely as possible, so if you wanna keep your job, you can either write a report proving you know what it's like to be a student at Clone High...
You like talking, Of Arc? Well you can TALK your tight little buns on down to the Principal Scudworth's office!
My abs are so firm, you can grate cheese on em!
I'm sorry to disturb you but there's growing concern among the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures that you may be... completely insane.
Yeah well you do have a robotic butler named Mr. Butlertron.
Why creating a mechanical British servant is no more eccentric than that tie you're wearing!
-Or I'll kill you.
It's time for the Presidential Fitness Test! Where we make you even more insecure about your body by judging you while you perform arbitrary physical tasks!
Can't believe we got Eleanor Roosevelt as our gym teacher.
Yeah he's great. Hey Abe, tonight I finally have a night off from the help hotline, which is community service, and I wanted to know if you wanted to carpool to JFK's party...
You know, to save gas...
Gandhi, how could you?
Have you ever been so attracted to someone that you're afraid you'll blurt out something stupid?
Oh, no, not a party, we're just really busy here at the teen hotline. Whooooo! Suzie, Kelly, do me a favor and make out, aha ha ha ha.
So, you're depressed...
I've got an idea. Tell him he heard you wrong - tell him what you actually said was "I'll get the *beards*...
But if you think about it, it would still be a pretty sweet party.
Look, I'll talk to you when you stop crying.
I will see you there, and by will, I mean won't! Hahaha!
'Cause you're not invited. I, uh, wasn't sure if I was clear earlier. So, uh, you're not. Invited, that is.
Well, Abe just think that you're the biggest loser in the school.
Not you!
25. Five Children and It (2004)
You can count on me.
Back off! You can insult me all you like, but ...
You can't tell me what to do!
No, no, no. Your publishers. You can't have a counting chicken in your book.
Why is he in charge? You're not in charge of me!
Dad, is there any way I can come with you?
So you always know where to find me.
Uncle, It's me, Cyril. You came to my eighth birthday party. You gave me a subscription to Algebra Monthly.
That hole doesn't look very comfortable. Would you like to come and sit next to me, like Flopsy? He's my rabbit.
Look, it's not me, it's the rules. You make a wish, it goes horribly wrong, and then you learn something valuable.
Mummy, I can't believe you're home!
If you wait, I can grant you a wish when dawn comes, but not before.
Magic. Faith. That is nature. I can show you the way, but in the end, it is up to you.
And you can't have a birthday without a present. Here.
I can and you jolly well know it.
"It"? "It"? "It"? Do you mean to tell me that you do not know what a Psammead is?
I was hoping you could teach me the more finer points of monster...
A safari, of course. Well, now, if we all do as I do... we can undo all this to-do before tomorrow. Come along, you lot.
They're suggesting a new title. "Counting The Fun With Charlie Chicken". They're replacing you with a chicken.
Of course. No fingers. Can't count without fingers. No use. Oh, I suppose he could use wings. No, that's silly. He'd only get to two. Unless, err... Noah managed two by two. Gosh, that flood must have been a terrible set back.
You can sign this one?
He's in shock. But he'll be okay. You did the right thing bringing him to me. Now... what happened?
You should hear me sing.
Robert! Robert, wait! Now, Uncle Albert will meet you at the station.
Do you think he'll have model planes? Fighters, like the ones Dad will be flying?
Cyril, you're in charge now. Children, you're all to listen to Cyril while we're away.
You are. The pilot.
No, it's the navigator. A pilot would be lost without one. Your mum and I need you to keep everyone on course.
How many times have you said that? I still don't understand why we had to leave home.
Five children? Oh, my goodness! But you're not due till Friday!
Well, it's just one day, I suppose. Last year we lost October. It's not an easy thing to do, you know, lose a whole month. I'll get you some towels, and tell your Uncle you've arrived.
I can eat a whole goose by myself.
Well, if it is Friday as you assert, then goose was yesterday so you'll have to wait till err... next Thursday.
Yes, but you're strange.
Rule Three: Laundry three times a week. Very important, you know. The British Empire was built on clean pants. Clean pants and...
Come on, I can see light!
What on earth have you been reading?
I'll call you Sandy.
Because we found you in the sand.
You're so funny. Have your parents tried boiling you?
He went mad, you know. Completely bonkers. Lost his marbles. Fell out of his tree. Oak, I think.
Robert, wait, where are you going?
No way, we're not going back. You saw all the trouble that wish got us into.
Thanks, but I'll save that for later. I'm going, whether you're coming or not.
You have a rabbit called Flopsy? Has he got no spine? Your ability with naming things is not very good, child.
House didn't burn to the ground? I'd say you got off pretty lightly then, all things considered.
You made them ruin the house on purpose, didn't you?
If it's so wonderful, why don't you just buy it?
The little - He must've made a wish! He's out of control. I don't know how I'm gonna cut it. What am I gonna tell Mum? Look at you!
You've done it again. What were you thinking?
His letter said he wished he could fly to see us. He can't, but we can fly to him. Come on!
Mum, we didn't know you were coming!
Did you get my letter?
I know you want to, but we'll just have to wait for news.
But you'll do it?
Yes, but child, what then? The wish will fade at sunset, you know that.
You know it will.
You don't get many cards these days. You know how it is after your 6,523rd birthday.
You don't look that old.
No, you have to unwrap it.
It's Uncle's castle. Come on, you two.
These are the children I was telling you about. Your nephews and nieces.
Can't be.
You poor things. You must be so exhausted.
In the morning, I'll give you a tour of the grounds. You're allowed everywhere except the greenhouse. That's strictly off limits.
I knew I should have hid that thing back at home. Oh, no. There must be a wounded cat in the room. Jane, put that thing down and help me look. Here, Kitty, Kitty.
Ah, children. I expect you could do with a spot of lunch.
But before that, second Saturday of the month. You all know what that means. Second Saturday. Statutes, laws, edicts, regulations... rules. Exciting times children. Time to grasp the Goblet of Goodness.
You were saying something about not being in the Greenhouse.
You have to stop talking to it. It could be dangerous.
You're a what?
Alright, I will grant you your wishes. But I have a list of demands. My needs are minimal, but what I need is a state room, with a sunken bath, and those taps that go backwards and forwards. And I need a toothbrush made of gold. Not the bristles, of course, but the bit you hold. Gold bristles would hurt my gums, you see. Did that once. Anyway, I'd like white sand spread on the floor, preferably sand from the Bahamas. And a shower cap.
Are you still here?
She's right, you know. This is big. It's huge. It's immense. It's monumentally, colossally ginormous.
Be careful. Don't get too close. You might get savaged.
You're in for a treat.
There's no need to rush. Enjoy. Savor the sum. Let it wash over you. And once you gain its trust, it's yours for life.
A prime number of the Zeeman series. Toppety-notchety work, Squirrel - Cyril. It's my favorite series, although the Flugelstadt Succession runs it a close second. I'll show you Dr. Flugelstadt's book. He went mad, you know, completely bonkers. Lost his marbles. Fell out of his tree. Oak, I think.
What are you whispering about? And what's it?
Just give me the name of the chicken and the address of his coop.
What do you think?
Ah, well... Very good, I like err... the use of light and shadow, it's very effective. The subject is hideous monster, of course. As the sun here melts, the monster, he is shocked! His hair's on end and... oh, it's me.
Yeah, yeah, you and your gold. Nice lot you are. Tempting honest car dealers with your stolen gold.
That's quite enough. These children are with me.
Oh, an accomplice, I'll wager. Well I don't think they're gonna wriggle out of this one. Allow me.
Horace... Horace, you're becoming eccentric.
How could it have been worse? You keep getting us into trouble!
I know you've got a secret, and when I catch you, I'll get it out of you.
Oh, Robert. You're just in time for the dissection.
What a delicious monster collection you have.
Now I have you to complete it.
Here we go, Horace. I promised you a dinosaur. And you shall get what you deserve. This... is Gerald.
I've got you, Sand Fairy.
Hello. You're my favorite one of the bunch, you know.
I've got you too.
Well, you're my favorite one of the bunch, too.
And you're very tall.
Just burp me once.
I think it means you haven't had a whole day's wish, contractually speaking. Therefore, you do have some wish allowance left over.
What were you thinking?
Maybe you should have a rest, too.
It can talk!
You're so funny! Have your parents tried boiling you?
26. Drop the Dead Donkey (1990 TV Series)
Episode: The New Newsreader (1993)
Come along George. Well your not pushing me around little miss fire drill. Who does she think she is herding everyone around like some Gestapo-trained sheepdog. Well you can count me out. Cause nobody pushes George Dent around.
Jill, could you come for a brief scuba in my think tank?
27. The Care Bears Movie (1985)
I understand, Tender Heart. You can count on me.
Good. Now promise me that you and Kim will stay as far away from Nicholas and the spirit as you can.
You mean you can use magic to get people to like me?
Glad to have you along. We can use all the help we can get!
And it would be a Treat Heart if you would follow me!
'Cuz there's a job to be done, we're gonna need everyone / because nobody can do it alone. / We'll need the swift and the small, we'll need the strong and the tall / 'cuz everyone has a strength of their own. / And when you put it all together, / Then there's a power no one can deny. / It's the power to share, it's the power to care / 'cuz when you care, you're not afraid to try!
Enough of your sorries. Check that trunk and see if there's anything left I can use in my magic act. I have a show to put on. Perhaps, one day, I will teach you how to make an audience love you, but right now, you're next to hopeless.
You bet, Friend Bear! It takes more than that to slow me down!
Okay, Brave Heart, you round up your friends and try to find Kim and Jason. Care Bears, follow me.
You can help best by guarding that key.
It's true that I'm not big, but it's amazing what you can do if you really put your heart into it.
Oh, thank you so much! You won't be dissappointed, I promise! I can't believe this! I owe it all to the Care Bears, and...
I know how you can earn more friends.
Yes, you can. You must! This is your chance to show that you are a greater magician than he. They love him for his magic, they'll love you for your's. I'll help you.
See, Nicholas? Magic can do anything you want it to.
Magic isn't the answer, Nicholas. Your feelings can help you find the true answer.
No! You can't! Don't do it! Stop! You don't care! They don't care!
Only you can do that. Here - teach them a lesson.
What do you want?
You see, although Kim and Jason were warm and loving children, they had been so hurt when their parents went away that they decided never to love anyone ever again just incase they too went away. Kim and Jason felt they didn't need anyone, but the Care Bears knew better.
Everyone needs friends, Jason. Even you and Kim.
And how do you know our names?
We know a lot of things about you. Kim reads a lot of books and wants to be a nurse when she grows up, and Jason, you want to be a jet pilot.
Yeah. How did you know that?
Secret Bear says not to worry. No one can keep a secret like Secret Bear.
Well, I'll tell you what we know about people you care for. They always let you down.
Nicholas, what have you done?
Only what they did to me. They deserved it.
Too bad we can't say the same for Care-A-Lot. Look.
I've sighted parents for you at the orphanage! They want to adopt you both!
You hear that, Jason? Parents.
No. We're not going to the orphanage. We're going to help you.
But... you have parents waiting.
You showed us how to share our feelings, and that's just what we're going to do.
I couldn't agree with you more, Lotsa Heart. Soon, you'll be out of the Forest of Feelings, then your journey will really begin.
You're not coming with us?
Well... yes... if you think we could help.
We're calling for the Proud Hearts to come and follow me!
There. The spell is cast. Now, everyone in town will know the loneliness they've made me feel.
Not quite. Look. These two children still care very much about everyone... except you.
Are you? What about all the others?
All the others that you have not yet cast your spells on. All the others that still care.
The others will come after you for what you've done.
You must finish it! Go ahead! Say it!
What do you mean everyone?
You said a lesson. What kind of lesson?
Never mind that. You must now collect the ingredients for your next spell.
Baby Hugs! Baby Tugs! What have you done?
Oh my stars! You brought visitors! What are they doing here?
I don't know, but this has never happened before. Perhaps we can let them stay.
Hey! Can we say something? Where are we?
Come on. We'll give you a tour.
You're welcome to stay in the Forest of Feelings as long as you like.
Thank you, Brave Heart, but the sooner we leave, the better. If we don't hurry, Care-A-Lot may not be there when we get back.
If there is a way out of the Forest of Feelings, we'll help you find it.
You're right, Secret Bear. Our only hope is a Care Bear Stare. I hope it works. There's only two of us.
Jason! Kim! You're alright!
I know exactly what you mean.
Where are they? Where are you hiding the boy and girl?
You don't know what you're doing, Nicholas! Listen to your heart, and you'll find the truth!
I'm way ahead of you.
Ugh! You never mean it, Nicholas! I bought that box full of junk I could use for my magic act, and now half of it's broken! What am I going to do with you? Every time I give you a simple task to do, it's BOOM this and CRASH that!
You'll need a friend to get a big job done.
You'll need a friend to let your feelings free.
Sure could use someone to talk to me.
Perfect! You know, baby Hugs and Tugs are going to make fine Care Bears one of these days.
Swift Heart, are you alright?
What are you going to do, Tender Heart?
Jason, do you still have the key that I gave you?
If we lose that key, Jason, we can never win.
You'll be ready for them.
You must gather the elements quickly. When those two children arrive, they must be all that is left of caring in this world.
You don't mean...?
Don't you see, Nicholas? It's too late to stop now! You must finish what you started! There's no turning back! Ha HA!
Nicholas, these children should have been in bed ages ago. What am I ever going to do with you?
Care for me, Mrs. Cherrywood, just care for me.
I'm Cozy Heart Penguin. Helping someone in need is what warms my heart and keeps me cozy.
Secret Bear says not to worry. No one can keep a secret like Secret Bear.
Because you never complain, Grumpy Bear.
You know everything, Tugs! What's it do?
No square bubbles, Tugs. Not even round ones. You broke the thing.
Hey, you're a lot smaller than you sound.
A world without caring? This doesn't look like the Earth you talked about.
Nicholas, I just had the most wonderful dream! I dreamed I changed my poster! So that's just what I'm going to do! Now, it'll read "Fetucini and Nicholas"! So, what do you say? A partnership.
Where did you come from?
Our friends at the Forest of Feelings have proven to everyone that there's always a way to show that you care. And so, the purpose of this festive occasion is to let all bear witness to the inaguration of our friends into the Care Bear Family!
Who are you? How do you know my name?
Oh, not his magic tricks. I mean real magic. Magic that can make your fondest wish come true.
No, but you could. All you have to do is undo the lock.
Well done, Nicholas. He'll be in a deep sleep only long enough for you to take over his magic show.
Who are you?
Friend? Where was he when you needed him?
What matters is I'm here now, and Nicholas needs me the most.
They'll love me just like they did the Great Fetuccini! I know all his tricks. I'm not doing anything wrong.
And right now, the one we care about most is you, Nicholas. You.
Maybe we can still save him.
We can still save him!
Lotsa Heart, do you think this river might lead us down to Earth?
Nicholas! We care about you! We used to be like you. We thought nobody cared.
But we were wrong. Now we want to be your friends, Nicholas, and make sure you're never alone again. Believe us, Nicholas! Believe us.
I... I believe you!
Now they know how you've felt all your life, without a friend in the world. Now, they feel nothing!
I can't see a thing.
Not me.
Wasn't me.
It was me! I said it!
Who are you?
Whew! That was close - you almost smashed right into that big rock!
A raccoon? No wonder you could see in the dark.
I can usually see my way through anything.
Let them try and stop me now!
28. Fat City (1972)
You told me to go ahead and do it, so I did it. You can count on me right down the line. You can count on me.
Listen. Let me tell you something. You can count on me. Right down the line.
Oh, will you forget that? I've never hit a woman in my life. Hey, let me buy you a drink. Can we have two cream sherries, please? Listen. Don't you believe me? Don't you think that you can count on me? Hmm?
You. Can. Count. On me. You can count on me. No, I'm the reliable type.
You can count on me!
Don't tell me - you take your hands off me!
Come on, get it out of your system! Go on if it'll make you feel good! Punch me in the face! Take some teeth out while you're at it! I still got a few left in there the others were nice enough to leave me!
Oh, come on! It'll be a big lift for you! What're you waiting for? It's just the thing you need! Far be it from me to spoil anybody's fun!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Will you listen to me? Goddamnit! I am sorry!
I thought you wanted to hit me.
Anytime you need anything, you just come and see me.
What can you expect?
I'll tell you what bothered me: getting my throat ruined.
How's your nose? Can you breathe?
Yeah, can't you?
Don't tell me what to do! I don't care who hears me! I know I'm making a nuisance of myself! All those goddamn Mexicans sitting there, they don't know who their real friends are. To hell with them!
What're you going on about?
You are liable to get back backhanded right off that stool!
You see if I care one bit! That's all I need! You go ahead if it'll make you feel so good!
Oh, God Almighty. Come on, I wouldn't hit you.
So what? So you're sorry.
Go ahead, I'm not gonna stop you!
What'd you do that for?
Oh, come on. Come on. Will you forget that? Hey, I just asked you a question. Do you think I'd let you down?
I don't know. Will you?
Maybe you wouldn't. How would I know?
Do you know who your friends are?
They wouldn't give it to you.
You know something? You're the only sonofabitch worth shit in this place.
I appreciate that. I mean, because there is something I really like about you.
I like you, too.
Hey kid. You want to spar a little?
You know why I think he did it? I think that beating discouraged him.
Well, if you don't have confidence in yourself, you're never gonna get anywhere.
You didn't keep your chin down.
29. Amazon Jail (1982)
You can count me out. We're not merchandise to be bought and sold. You got most of us here with the promise of work. Nobody mentioned being locked up in this filthy hole.
Everyone up! A few of you leave tomorrow morning. Do everything you can to please the buyers and you'll lead a life of luxury - jewels - and we all like jewels. And you never can tell, girls, you could meet the man of your life. He'll take care of you. Not bad, eh?
Shut up, girl. You don't like it? Well, too bad. Follow orders or you get some of this.
30. Spider-Man 3 (2007 Video Game)
Hey! Nobody said anything about killing. I just want him out of the way for a while, but that's all. So you can count me out freak.
That's right, turning invisible so I can't see you. That's the only way you'll ever be able to beat me.
Yes, yes, of course. If you can get me a sample of the regeneration serum from my lab, I can engineer an antidote.
We can make you better, stronger, faster. Well, better and stronger anyway.
Ok, you won't be able to jump tall buindings in single bounds. You can't be like that other guy
I realised you didn't kill my father. The darkness that consumed him almost finished me too, but you never turned away from me, even after everything I did.
Bet I can guess what's on your mind, though- what we're going to do about that damn spider. What if I told you, I got the answer?
You're gonna help me kill him.
What do you want from me, freak?
Take the guilt ship later. You have to help me find a way to reverse the effects.
When you have it, meet me at the university lab. I will set things right again.
Just another day in the life of your friendly neighborhood, Spider-Man. Lately things have been going my way. I got the girl, and New York finally likes me-not that there aren't problems. Like this new guy, Eddie Brock, at the Daily Bugle. He's really starting to get on my nerves. And Harry, my best friend, won't talk to me. On top of that, new gangs have moved in and they're dividing up the city. Still, it's nothing I can't handle. One weird thing: There haven't been any big supervillains around since Doc Ock. I have this bad feeling like, the sky is going to fall or something - and soon.
Do you think I can't tell the difference between this and the real thing? I said I want pictures of giant lizards, not some man in a costume!
Curt Connors. Something came over me. I can't explain...
Nice suit, Harry, but don't you hate wearing hand-me-downs?
Hey Scorpion, you may just be the tool I've been looking for... wait, that came out wrong
I think I should sue you for character infringement and win.
My what big... everything you have, grandma!
Harry, what are you doing here?
Leave me alone, pal. I'm thinking.
I wasn't offering you a choice.
Daddy, I'm scared! Help me!
Freak, I'm the freak? Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Do you have to complain about every little thing I do?
You won't be laughing when I rip out your heart!
Huh, well how bout I meet you half way and knee you in the groin?
Come, dark shadows, embrace me!
Make me normal again!
Look at this! I took off all that armor but I'm still a freak! I'll kill her for what she did to me!
Whoa, big fella. You do that and any chance of a normal life is history.
Ah! You're right. So what do we do?
We'll make sure she sets things right with you and that she never does it to anyone again.
It's OK, Doc. You're a good man. I wish good intentions were all it took. See you around, Doc, be well.
Get off of me!
Let's get one thing straight: I don't like vigilantes. So you and I - are not on the same team.
You have nerve to come here, Spider-Man. I'll give you that. Come up and let's talk, shall we?
I'm taking you and your whole crime empire out, Fisk.
You weren't worth my time. But these three apparently have grievances to settle.
I'll teach you some manners!
Help me, Spider-Man! Get over here, he's creaming me!
This antidote should make you normal again - except that you'll be lying naked in the sewers.
Hello, Jonah. This city is going to pay for what for what it did to me and by tomorrow morning it will burn!
What? Who is this? And how did you get my direct line?
Dr. Curt Connors. Time is 8:47 PM. Ahem. Well, my regeneration serum is finally ready to test on a human - and what better guinea pig then myself. I-I know there are risks, but I can't allow a twist of fate to undo the natural order when science can correct it. If the unthinkable happens, please see that my wife and son get this letter.
I will feed what's left of you to my brothers.
This should be a happy ending. I beat the villain, brought a family back together and got the girl. But it's not that easy. Being Spider-Man always comes with a price, and today that price was a steep one. What keeps me going are Uncle Ben's words: with great power comes great responsibility. Me and people need heroes, as tough as it gets sometimes, I have to fight on. Only the best way to honor the people I love is to never stop being your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!
Don't worry. I understand. Better than you know.
Give me my daughter!
The Green Goblin almost killed you. I'm here to finish the job.
31. Balto III: Wings of Change (2004 Video)
You can count on me! Er, what? What?
You can count on me! Er, what? What?
Then you can count on me! Er, what? What?
You can count on me! Er, what?
I've been around the pond a time or two/I've done my share of migrating/When I look at you, I enjoy the view/You set my little wishbone to palpitating/Come on down, boys!/I'm a goose/On the loose/On the prowl for a handsome fowl/You've got the style, got the form/Got the big strong wings to keep me warm/I know what I like/And I like what I see/How'd you like to do a little flying with me?/I ain't no quail/You ain't no chicken/You've got my heart doing more than ticking/I'd like to rest against your chest/We could build ourselves a sugar nest/Oh, can't you feel we've got some chemistry?/Don't you wanna try a little flying with me?/Beak to beak/Wing to wing/We could have ourselves quite a fling/Tail to tail, feather to feather/Don't you think we oughta flock together?/I'm the goose/With the juice/Mr. Gander, let's meander/On my own up here in Nome/I'm a chick who's oh-so-far from home/We could honk in harmony/Come on up and do a little flying with me/Where the air is rare/And the wind blows free/Come on up and do a little/Do a little/Come on up and do a little flying with me./Let's you and I get down and fly, flyboy.
You talkin' to me?
Me? You think I'd just hop in and go for a flight?
You don't have to be a hero, you just have to be there/He doesn't need to know you're perfect, he needs to know you care/And when the race is over, you've done all you can do/Be a father, not a hero/ That's all he needs from you/You don't have to be a winner if you give it your best/Believe in who you are, and then time can do the rest/Your heart is his example, brave and strong and true/ You don't have to be a hero, you just have to be you/Trust in your son/He's more than he seems/ Like you, he can run/Like you, he has dreams/Oooooooooh... /Have faith in yourself, my love/Have faith in him, too/He will always have a hero/He will always have a hero, for he'll always have you.
You can beat that plane paws down now that you're lead dog.
If anyone can do it, you can!
I thought you missed me too much.
I thought you missed me.
Me? I've got a broken toenail and it's driving me crazy! Besides, Kirby, you kept yanking to the right!
Are you crazy? Have you seen how fast that monster flies?
We can't afford to lose!
What are you doing here? I-I thought you went with your dad.
You mean your dad's out there alone? Oh, why didn't you go?
Oh, Kodi, I-I don't believe you. There is a man out there who may be dying.
You think your job is worth more than a life?
I'm kinda hoping for a chance at lead dog, like you, dad.
We would've been on time if you hadn't been dragging your butt the whole way!
Me? I've got a broken toenail and it's driving me crazy!
You're right. I would if I could.
Are you crazy? Have you seen how fast that monster flies?
We can't afford to lose!
Yes, Uncle Boris. See you tomorrow!
Come on up and do a little flyin' with me.
I still don't understand how that big steel... whatever can fly like a bird.
Come on, Dusty. You got it!
Ah! What do you know? I am flying. Ha-haaa! I am one hot goose!
Son, there are more important things than your job. That man is out there probably freezing to death and you're just here sitting, doing nothing about it. Good day to you SIR!
That is no excuse. You think your job is worth more than a life?
I thought you were better than that!
Did Dad tell when he saw you leading the others that night, it was the proudest moment of his life?
Are you ready? I'm ready! Are you ready? 'Cause I'm ready!
Something tells me he's ready.
They're kinda cute, if you have a thing for polar bears.
Very funny, Balto. You *know* Kodi is proud of his new job.
If we can't deliver the mail, who would want us?
This is serious. Now look, that plane is out there somewhere. And we're the only ones who can help.
You're just wrong!
Zip it, Ralph! We would've been on time if you hadn't been draggin' your butt the whole way!
But that's no excuse for being late! Everyone counts on us! Neither snow, nor rain, nor sleet, nor hail will stop the U.S. mail!
Enough! Enough! Enough! How many times am I telling you! Stop what you are doing!
Fun? Fun is birthday party! That was big pain in touche! I say stop! You go! I say no more! You do more! What? What? You have rocks in your head?
Nope! I'm all clear! Can't say the same for Luk though.
Sit Down when I'm talking to you!
32. Year of the Carnivore (2009)
My mom ended up cheating on my dad. He was heartbroken and she was miserable. That's why she got cancer. If that's love, you can count me out.
33. Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number! (1966)
The whole thing sounds underhanded, disgraceful and messy, and you can count on me.
You know that I am of royal blood. Everybody knows that Didi comes from a noble line.
You come from a noble line all right... a noble line a sailor gave your foolish mother.
How do you want your eggs? Poached, fried or raw?
Gee, Mom, you look really groovy. Gee, Dad, you look real beat.
Well, at least she still loves me enough to hate me.
You're that dame - the biggest thing in bathtubs since rings.
Why don't you slip into something less comfortable?
Lily, I could almost kiss you. I said 'almost.'
You take the safe half.
34. Follow the Boys (1944)
You can count on me. You can always find me at Little Joe's Cream Puff Emporium.
You have no inhibitions, have you?
I can't afford them.
35. The Curse of Monkey Island (1997 Video Game)
You can count on me, Wally. Just as soon as I defeat LeChuck, rescue Elaine, set all the monkeys free, and ride the Madly Rotating Buccaneer, I'll come back to release you.
Let me see your membership card and I'll let you through!
You can go about your business.
Do you expect me to talk?
You can't be sure of that. That shot may have come from the grassy knoll.
You know... I don't think my father would approve of me dating the undead, and you're probably too nice a zombie-pirate for me anyway. Let's just be friends instead.
You're a blood-thirsty monster who's already kidnapped me once, tortured my friends, and taken from me the only man I ever loved: Guybrush Threepwood.
How can you see without eyeballs?
How can you walk around without a brain? Some things no one can answer.
Burn down every island in the Caribbean if you have to, but bring me my bride!... and more slaw! Curse the villains, they never give you enough slaw with these value meals.
Something tells me you're not taking me very seriously.
Then let me hear you scream in terror.
How could you choose that anchor over me? Me? Your best friend?
There's no way out of this crypt for either of us. I must haunt this lonely tomb until I've married a man I truly love. And you can't leave because the door's locked.
You! Don't make me laugh! You couldn't even grow a decent beard!
Actually, he said quite a few things. "Oh, the pain!" "Stop it, you're killing me!"
Aaargh! You again! If ye've ridden me coaster, why haven't ye been boiled in me molten pool of lava? Hmmmm... Elaine musta fiddled with me controls and rerouted the tracks. Aye, she'll be the death o' me yet... I mean, *again*!
They'll be more than you can stand.
By my congealed blood, you'll learn to love me! Sail with me and I'll make ya queen of the dead!
Bad idea. Though attractive to the first-time homeowner, the rate reacts wildly to fluctuations in the market and can work against the buyer over time. You're best off starting with a 20 percent down payment and a variable-rate mortgage, then refinancing at a fixed rate after one or two years, as the market warrants.
Come, release me, so that I might run free alongside you as we terrorize the mortals of this island!
Elaine, I'm a man of action, a swashbuckler, a rogue, a wanderer. A man who can hold his breath for ten minutes! I have no ties and no regrets. I sail with the wind and go where adventure takes me. But somehow, something always leads me...
Elaine, will you marry me?
Well, yer not gettin' me without a fight!
You don't need to see my identification.
I'm not the pirate you're looking for.
You're not the pirate I'm looking for.
I can go about my business.
Move along, move along... hey! Your mind tricks won't work on me, boy!
"Ask me about Grim Fandango." I don't want people asking me about Grim Fandango.
I see a diorama of the children of the world living in peace and freedom. No, wait. It can't be that. It's just too dark to make out what's in there.
No, Mr. Threepwood. I expect you to buy!
Cromwell, Slappy Cromwell. It's not my real name actually. My agent told me my given name just didn't have star quality.
What! You shot my banjo!
Let's face it, LeChuck. You are an evil, foul-smelling, vile, co-dependent villain and that's just not what I'm looking for in a romantic relationship right now.
Shut up, or I'll eat you.
I am a powerful demonic force! I am the harbinger of your doom! And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I STRIDE through the gates of hell carrying your head on a pike!
All right then, 'ROLL! ROLL through the gates of hell.' Must you take the fun out of everything?
You're about as fearsome as a doorstop.
Do you know anything about lifting curses?
You seem bitter.
Me given name is 'Heart-Liver-And-Kidneys-Boiled-In-The-Stomach-Of-The-Animal McMutton.'
You fool! You gave cheese to a lactose intolerant volcano god!
How'd you break into the hairstyling industry?
Mean? Just that... you know, cutting hair, and, err, singing must be just... a lot of fun.
It's like a party every day. Some days I just don't know how to contain my joy. I get giddy, and the laughter bubbles out of me like a sparkling fountain of mirth and gaiety.
You're a fashion consultant?
You're an "autumn," by the way.
You've got to come! You're my only hope!
Some day you will understand.
Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. So knock it off.
If you've been locked in that coffin, how were you able to have business cards made?
Now's not the time to worry about the technicalities, son. Now's the time to ask yourself: "Are you covered?"
Cross me again and I'll chum for sharks with ya!
Hey... How did you know about my attempted beard?
...You do?
Oh gosh, yes! It's a very healthful drink! Even better for you than placing leeches on your tongue.
You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee!
For those long cold shipboard nights/ We've got boxers, briefs and tights!/ Made from cotton, silk or satin/ Styles Anglo, Dutch or Latin!/ When you sail don't take a chance/ Wearing nothin' 'neath your pants./ Trust... Silver's Long Johns...
Oh, I'm sorry, I was miles away. What were you saying?
Fearin' fer his life, he came to me and begged for mercy. In return for not revealing the location of Big Whoop, I let him live. As a sign of me "gratitude," I gave him a fortune which he used to build a successful advertising firm. Once he had grown accustomed to his wealthy lifestyle, I returned to collect me debt. I delivered to him an account so demonically ill-conceived that it was doomed to fail: Gangrene 'n' Honey. Within a month, he was penniless and insane, a broken man! He sold everything he owned and got so desperate he fell in with a traveling circus. He was killed when he was shot from a cannon without a helmet.
I ambushed him while he was racing in the America's Cup. I boarded his ship and decided to let him determine his own fate. He could grant me his blessing to have his granddaughter's hand in marriage, or he could suffer a death more horrible than any of his crewmates'.
You're unbelievably ghastly and wretched!
Dinky Island be an atoll, just off the coast a Monkey Island. But they be connected by a maze o' mysterious tunnels that run under the very ocean floor. So although ye dug fer treasure on Dinky, when ye found me carnival ye were on Monkey Island!
But curses if I can't help but love the little woman.
When you hear our gentle singing...
You'll be sure to turn and flee!
We can sing in every clef!
We can even hit the high notes!
Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk. / We'll fight you in the harbor.
We'll battle you on land.
But when you meet singing pirates...
...you will get a nasty whackin'!
I'm getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming.
We would shoot you on the downbeat...
You say you're nasty pirates, / scheming, thieving, bad bushwhackers? / From what I've seen I tell you, / you're not pirates! You're just slackers!
It sure is, son. But you know, rumor has it that the man who built this place is buried here. And they say that, to this day, his frozen body remains in the tunnels somewhere beneath the amusement park.
Captain's log: Guybrush Threepwood. Lost at sea for days now. I have no crew or navigational instruments. No provisions except a half-eaten corn-dog and, unless I find water soon, I'm surely done for. Only the hope of finding my love, Elaine, keeps me going.
I... I can't. I'm washing my hair tonight.
Ya scabrous swab! One more word and I'll let you have it!
Oh, I can't do it! I just can't!
You're right, Mr. Wood!
Could you repeat that?
So you want to make more money?
How did you become a member?
El Pollo Diablo! At last, one of my demonic brethren, come to set me free!
Did you just hear something?
Yes, carnival. Just as soon as they put up the first tent... WHOOSH! The whole place becomes TRENDY. Sailors coming in all times of the night, that awful music droning on and on, and to be honest with you,
36. Dragon Flyz (1996 TV Series)
Episode: F.I.S.T. Fighters (1996)
You can count on me, sir. I won't let you down.
Nora, have you recovered from this morning's battle?
Don't worry about me. Just don't let Airlandis down.
Peak! Wake up; come on, wake up! No sleeping on the job. You OK?
Oh, you'll rebuild it, one life for another.
37. Resident Evil Code: Veronica (2000 Video Game)
Don't think you can count on me in the future. Now get out of here.
You want it? You aren't worthy of its power.
You mean he thinks he's two people?
Claire Redfield, hold it right there. We meet each other atlas a pity I must say goodbye so soon. I am Alexia Ashford and for the pride of the Ashford family. I will kill you!
What are you saying?
You are free to leave the complex. But you might as well know that you have no chance of getting off this island.
I'm glad I met you... Claire... I... love you...
You better get out of here while you're still able.
Leave me alone.
Wesker? You're still alive?
What are you doing here?
An organisation hired me to capture her.
Wait, you attacked the island... and my sister!
You have no idea how much i hate you! You destroyed my plans, so now i've sold my soul to a new organisation... now DIE!
Here's a little secret Chris. I figured out that your sister is now in the Antarctic... with Alexia. It's too bad you won't be seeing her again. Hehehehehe. Hahahahahaha...
38. Tenchi Muyô! Ryô Ôki (1992 TV Series)
Yes! Detective Mihoshi is on her way! You can count on me, sir!
All right then, Little Washu. Can you do me a favor? Can you help me plant Ryu-oh?
Why are you being so shy? You seen me naked before, remember? In side the cave?
But how can this be? You created this ship, didn't you?
Okay, you pain in the neck. There only a couple of things that we can do here.
Nice to meet you. My name is Washu. I would like to thank you for saving me from Kagato.
Unless you call me Little Washu!
No! I won't do anything unless you call me Little Washu!
How can I call you 'little' when you're over 20,000 years old?
You want me to stop it?
Naah! You don't want me to stop it!
Uh, can I ask you your name?
Yeah, I remember. But then you were just a mummy.
Curiosity kill the cat. Lucky for me, I'm not a cat!
That's what I'm saying. You see on this diagram that this goes this way and this goes that way, and so, there's no way out. Absolutely not. No way. That's it. Got it?
So, I guess what you mean is that there is absolutely no way out of here?
Where were you when they handed out the brains?
Hey, I'll have you know that my body shape hasn't changed in the past 700 years! What do you think of that, you big fat smart-alleck?
That's right. Not did I only create you, but I created Ryo-oki, I created the Soja, I created so many things, really. But I used my ova for you. So I'm more like your mother than your creator.
You must be that female student that was kidnapped by Kagato.
Geez! I can't get it out!
Do something brilliant! You created this ship, didn't you?
She's right. There's gotta be something you haven't thought of.
Well, ok. There is just one more thing that we can try.
We can pray real hard.
I like you. You wanna be a guinea pig for my experiment?
Are you okay?
Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Uh, thank you, Sasami.
Because you look really pale, and your nose is bleeding.
You're a naughty boy, are you, Tenchi
Huh? Excuse me, Miss Washu?
Of course! I can do that! That's easy!
Of course! After all you're the number 1 scientic genius in the glaxay.
hat would be my standard answer, but for you I'm going to do it, because I really really like your enthusiasim.
Hey, don't you like your daddy better, little Princess Ayeka?
Hello, Masaki home. Oh, that sounds like if I were married to the family. How embarrassing. What do you think? Do you think it sounds that way?
Oh my! Hello. How did you know I was here?
Aah! What are you doing?
What? You're joking right? Stop it!
Excuse me.
This can't be good.
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you all right?
What are you doing?
Huh? Ryoko, are you sick? I mean what's the matter?
Oh, Tenchi, you are a bold one, aren't you?
What's wrong with you?
Ryoko, your face is red. What's wrong? Do you have a cold?
Sure you do. You have to take care of yourself.
Let me go! Get your hands off me!
You're acting like a child!
Please stop! Let me go!
Are we done yet? Have you gotten anything? Sasami's got breakfast, you know.
Oh, Tenchi, please! It'll just be a minute. I only need to examine you a little bit.
You promised you'll be my guinea pig, didn't you?
Oh, you mean thing!
Little Washu! Do you know where my gloves are?
I knew it was you, Washu.
Oh, by the way, what are you doing here?
39. Tales of Legendia (2005 Video Game)
Everyone, you can count on me.
W... wait a sec! You can't see 'em?
You two look so cute, together!
Don't ask me...
What are you doing in a place like this?
Oh, you know, the weather was so beautiful, and before I knew it...
How can that possibly lead to winding up at the bottom of the Man-Eating Ruins?
You were catchin' some shuteye with this place just crawlin' with monsters.
You're... naked.
Jeez, Moses. If you want to leave that bad, just go. Nobody's stopping you.
Red, I think you need some rest.
Why don't you try it out on Red?
Hey, cut it out. You sound way too serious...
What are you so nervous about, C?
G-Girl, you love everything, don't you?
Well, yeah, you have gotten stronger, but...
Where are you going?
Betcha I can do more push-ups!
What's it feel like when you get new crystal eres?
It's like, from deep inside you, there's this kind of whoosh, and then this ahhh, and then it's like, kaboom! And then from there it's sort of wiggly and kinda fluffy.
Okay, I have no idea what you just said.
39 titles.