27 titles.

1. Stranger Things (2016 TV Series)
Episode: Chapter Four: The Body (2016)
Ah well, welcome to Hawkin's middle, Eleanor. I wish you were here under better circumstances.
Are you deaf? I thought we were friends, you know? But friends tell each other the truth. And they definitely don't lie to each other. You made me think that Will was okay; that he was still out there but he wasn't! He wasn't. Maybe you thought you were helping but you weren't. You hurt me, do you understand? What you did sucks. Lucas was right about you... all along.
We know. We're just... you know...
Have you been doing this a while?
Yeah... I guess I'd rather observe people than... you know...
No, it is! It's just, sometimes... people don't really say what they're really thinking. But when you capture the right moment, it says more.
Why are you keeping this curiosity door locked?
Sometimes, people don't really say what they're really thinking. But you capture the right moment... it says more.
Can you *please* stop that?
Will is that you? It's Mike. Do you copy? Over!
Will are you there? Will!
We keep losing the signal. But you heard it, right?
Mike, you obviously tapped into a baby monitor. It's probably the Blackburns next door.
Uh did that sound like a baby to you? That was Will.
Lucas, you don't understand he spoke last night- words! He was singing that weird song he loves. Even El heard him.
Are you sure you're on the right channel?
Are you actually believing this crap?
I don't know, I mean... do you remember when Will fell of his bike and broke his finger? He sounded a lot like that.
Did you guys not see what I saw? They pulled Will's body out of the water. He's dead!
And how do you know that?
The Heathkit's at school. There's no way we're gonna get the weirdo in there without anyone noticing. I mean... *look* at her.
... Good. You look pretty good.
Hey do you think you can open it? With your powers?
the Heathkit is all yours for the rest of the day. What do you say?
She's here for Will's funeral.
Thank you.
Where are you from exactly?
2. Fear the Walking Dead (2015 TV Series)
Episode: Not Fade Away (2015)
Patrick, if you find this, I'm sorry. If you find this, I love you. I saw something today, something that horrified me. At first, I thought it was unnatural. I thought it was an aberration. But I was wrong. What I saw was prophesized. What I saw was godly. And I think it's overdue. I wish you were here, but I will see you soon. And you will hold me.
I am happy, I just... Okay, well, if you need it, it's right here. Don't be a hero.
When I was young, these men - These men were from the government. And they came to our town and they took some people away. And my father was someone of certain importance in the community so he went to speak to the captain and asked, when will they return? And the captain told my father, 'Miguel, don't worry. They always come home.' And they did. I was standing in the river fishing. Just a boy. And I found them. All of them. All at once. All around me. In the water. My father told me not to have hatred in my heart. He said that men do these things not because of evil. They do evil because of fear. And at that moment, I realized my father is a fool, for believing there was a difference. If it happens, it will happen quickly and you must be prepared.
If you find this, I am sorry. If you find this, I love you.
Travis says we're the lucky ones. He'd throw those dudes a parade if they'd let him.
And, look, we are grateful to our saviors, to the ones who protect us, to those who know when it's feeding time at the zoo. Turns out there's nothing you'll ever take that nature won't take back. It all belongs to her again. And the dogs and the dead and the...
What? No, it's about you.
Yeah, you run off to play man of the people...
...And I could use a little bit of help here!
Stop. Oh, my God, just stop it. This domestic bickering like it's normal, like you're normal people in a normal kitchen. It's not normal. Stop it. Stop acting like it is.
Look, give it to Griselda. She needs it more than I do, you said it yourself.
I know what I said, but the point is to wean you off of it slowly. So it just doesn't, you know, happen again.
I thought you'd be happy.
Hey, I'm supposed to read this, you're supposed to listen, okay?
When will you get the phones up?
Sir, this is a secure position, so, no, you're going to stay put. Curfew will remain in effect until further notice. The new health screening policy will continue. Sanitation, water treatment, and other services will return as we approach total containment.
We are working on that, so keep boiling that water. You will also find several iodine tablets in your weekly rations.
It is gonna be okay. That's what you say. That's all that you have to say.
Doug, your family needs you. Now. They need you to go outside that door, and tell that guard that you're gonna be okay. Show 'em that you're okay. That's all.
Don't you have to get that?
You sure?
I understand you may be in need of methadone?
When's the last time you used?
Tell me what you saw.
There was a man shot like the others, like the rest, but he - He wasn't sick. And there were others like that.
What do you want me to say?
You don't know.
You have no idea!
You have no idea!
You're a very attractive woman.
All right, listen up here, folks. As commanding officer of this detachment, I am proud to announce that we are infect free for a six mile radius around this perimeter. We are on the offensive. The tide has most definitely turned.
All right, folks, listen. You are in one of 12 safe zones south of the San Gabriel, okay? So you guys are the lucky ones. You guys - You get to stay in your homes, ride this thing out, all right? So, relax, count your blessings, be nice. So I don't have to shoot you.
3. The Big Bang Theory (2007 TV Series)
Episode: The Sales Call Sublimation (2016)
I will. I... wish you were here.
OK, I'm glad you're *not* here?
Here's a man raised by an overbearing woman who completely dominated every aspect of his formative years. Do you think he's perpetuating that relationship by seeking out a partner like you?
What I'm hearing is that you feel that I sometimes take too long to express myself, and you wish I'd be more succinct.
Now I'm making sure the telescope's camera is white field balanced and wishing you had a coloring book.
I've got time booked in the telescope room all weekend, scanning for rogue planets. You're more than welcome to join me.
Well, I should warn you, it's just looking at data for hours and hours on a computer screen.
Stop selling it kid, you won.
I'm glad to see you made it safely. How's your hotel?
I know how you feel. The Best Buy by my house is only the third best Best Buy. They have the best buys, but having the best buys isn't the only thing that makes a Best Buy the best Best Buy.
Aw, you always know just what to say after I tell you what to say.
Hm, did you try wearing the shirt I said was inappropriate for work?
Oh, the doctor's a woman. But... yes, because you never know.
I just have never been in this room while you're awake.
How did you find that?
It wasn't difficult. You know how when you see prime numbers they appear red but when they're twin primes they're pink and smell like gasoline?
Huh, I guess I'm a special boy. You know, sometimes when a boy is special he gets a Fudgsicle. Which, by the way, tastes like the speed of light.
Do you know, she never let me celebrate my birthday because being born was her achievement, not mine.
You know, I used to wear tank tops a lot. That was a big selling point.
You know, once we get the house back to ourselves we can be romantic in any room we want.
Great. I can finally show you where the laundry room is.
You're only hearing that because I cannot roll my eyes any louder.
I know. After we talked about my issues with my mother - nothing too deep, just how she ruined my life - I told her about you and your drug, she said she'd be happy to see you.
Really! You're the best husband ever.
Mmm. So you'll go to the Doctor Who convention with me next week?
What do you think we should do with this room?
I was thinking a home theater, a gaming room; you know, like a man cave.
As long as it has a home theater, a video game system, and you're not allowed in it, you can call it whatever you want.
What are you doing?
What are you doing now?
I'm about to suck something up. What do you think this object sounds like?
Remember, girls! You decide what makes you happy, not your emotionally withholding mothers!
There's about six months of data on this hard drive. Why don't you go through it and see if you can spot any patterns or anomalies?
I can be helpful; give me something to do. You know, my father took me to work once, and in ten minutes I figured out who'd been stealing from the cash register. It was my father. Dad lost his job, but Mr. Hinckley gave me a Fudgsicle.
4. True Blood (2008 TV Series)
Episode: Nothing But the Blood (2009)
It's a beautiful sunny morning in America, Ms. Flanagan. I wish you were here.
What the hell you doing here?
The good lord tested our faith by taking Ms. Jeanette away from us. I stayed true. I wish I could say the same about you. I'll pray for you.
Wish people would stop dying around here.
No. Shushing won't do any good, sweetheart. We hear everything. But since you made me come all the way down here, I oughta take out some of the garbage.
Alright, then when I was twenty, my cousin Rufus he was going out with this girl who claimed she could crush a beer can... with her tits. And, one night when we were alone, I asked he to show me. One beer can led to another, and before you knew it, she was crushing my head... with her tits. Rufus came home, and he was so mad, he threw me out the window; my hip shattered into a million pieces, and they replaced it, with... metal.
I always need you.
...and when you love someone, you gotta love 'em all.
Will you shut up? I can't think!
Andy, over here.
Body's in full rigor mortis, Bud. Which is consistent with the victim being killed else where and brought here to the scene sometime in the past four hours.
I don't know about you, but I think I've seen enough dead bodies to last me a life time.
Except this one, I just don't get. With everyone Rene killed, you could see his rage. But this?... Cuttin' out that poor woman's heart? Someone just wanted to see her suffer! Every time I think I know what's what, it turns out... I don't know anything.
Your bed-time will be at 4 a.m. and not a minute later. And whilst you're under my roof, hunting is completely forbidden.
Okay, you're done for the night.
You're material witness to a homicide and at worse, you could be a suspect.
You don't know what you're talking about!
No, momma. It was a scam. She stole from you and from me. So sorry.
I wish I knew.
Momma, I'm sorry. I didn't wanna tell you all that stuff. 'Cause in spite of everything of everything you've done, there's still some sick, sick part of me that can't bare to see you suffer. And I thought if you found out Ms. Jeanette was a fraud...
You are?
Ms. Thornton. MaryAnn Forrester. I've heard all about you. What a rare opportunity this is. I've always wondered what it'd be like to gaze into the eyes of some one so devoid of human compassion. That she would abandoned her own child when she needed you the most.
You killed her?
Well you obviously did something to this... this...
How old are you?
So what then? You bit her?
You drained her?
Did you have sex with her?
Jessica was brought to me as a condition of my punishment. I had to create a vampire as reparation for the one I destroyed to save you.
Here with me and before that with with Eric and Pam.
Two weeks and you never said anything. We've laid in bed for hours talking about my life, your life, the weather, and rules of football. And not once did you mention that you slept with and killed...
If I'm with you and she's with, then she's with me. And I'm sure as heck sharing in that.
If I with held anything, it was only to protect you.
And if she stayed with Eric, I still wouldn't know. Would I? That's not protecting me. That's lying to me. How am I supposed to ever trust you if you keep something like that from me? What else are you keeping from me?
I've shared every dark, horrible corner of my life with you. What makes you think I couldn't handle every bit of yours?
If you had broken it, I'd be really angry.
We're all luckier than we can imagine.
What are you?
Baby boy. You're not the only who's special in the world.
Hey, Sam. I don't know when you're plannin' on hiring another waitress, but me and Sookie are about to drop from exhaustion.
When you love someone, you gotta love it all. Otherwise it ain't love.
I can't be what ever you want, when ever you want anymore. I'm tired of charin' my ass on your back burner.
You have something for me... Carl said you stopped by with a gift... I do love presents.
I don't know how you found me... I assume this is what you came for... I'm sorry. I was young and scared at the time.
I remember... Oh, you sweet thing. It's not your money I want.
You are a lucky man and since the bartender likes you, the drinks are on the house.
Jess, I feel like we got off to a bad start and it is totally my fault. I never got to hear your side of things, find out what you're like. None of that. Can you forgive me?
You really wanna get to know me?
Of course I do. You deserve that and frankly, I'm curious about you. I've just got one huge favor to ask. Give me tonight with my boyfriend and we'll have all night tomorrow to ourselves. Just us girls.
Must say I'm impressed. It's almost like you glamoured her.
Did you have anything to do with Uncle Bartlett's death?
...He hurt you.
Oh my god. Is it that easy for you to kill? Does human life mean so little, you can just kill on command? Toss someone in the water? I can't have people dyin' every time I confide in you. I never felt more inhuman than when I had to kill Rene. It still haunts me and now you're made me feel like I killed another person. I feel sick... I always thought as different as we are, some how we can still be together. And now I don't know. I don't know anything...
Sookie... I cannot and I will not lose you. For all the ways I have dismayed, aggrieved or failed you, I swear I will atone. But I am not sorry. I refuse to apologize for what you have awakened in me. You, you are my miracle, Sookie. For the first time in a hundred and forty years, I felt something I thought had been lost to me forever... I love you.
God damn it, Bill Compton. I love you.
Ms. Thorton, Maryann Forrester, I've heard all about you, what a rare opportunity this is. I've always wondered what it would be like to gaze into the eyes of someone so devoid of human compassion. That you would abandon your own child when she needed you the most.
You didn't have to do that.
Royce Alan Williams, we have a few questions for you with regards to a fire which claims three of our kind.
I'm sorry I hassled you about bein' gay. If it makes you feel any better, once when I was fifteen at Safety Patrol camp I let my bunkmate blow me.
You're overworked, Andy. And you're drunk.
Whatever, if it make you feel any better, keep talking.
5. Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
Wish you were here.
Doesn't matter what you did, or what you were. If you go out there, you fight, and you fight to kill. Stay in here, you're good, I'll send your brother to come find you. But if you step out that door, you are an Avenger.
Hey, look at me. It's your fault, it's everyone's fault, who cares. Are you up for this? Are you? Look, I just need to know cause the city is flying. Ok, look, the city is flying, we're fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense. But I'm going back out there cause it's my job. Ok, and I can't do my job and babysit. Doesn't matter what you did, or what you were. If you go out there, you fight and you fight to kill. Stay in here, you're good. I'll send your brother to come find you. But if you step out that door, you are an Avenger. All right, good chat.
Well, you did something right, and you did it right here!
You were supposed to be the last.
I don't want to kill Ultron. He's unique... and he's in pain. But that pain will roll over the Earth. So he must be destroyed: every form he's built, every trace of his presence on the 'net. We have to act now, and not one of us can do it without the others. Maybe I am a monster. I don't think I'd know if I were one. I'm not what you are and not what you intended. So there may be no way to make you trust me.
If you stay here, you'll die.
You said... you said we were going to destroy the Avengers... make a better world!
What? We're you napping?
Yeah, we would have called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed.
Recall that? A hostile alien army came charging through a hole in space. We're standing three hundred feet below it. We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the live long day, but, that up there? That's... that's the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?
I know you're good people. I know you mean well. But you just didn't think it through. There is only one path to peace... your extinction.
Yes, well that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one: You are not worthy.
Worthy? How could you be worthy? You're all killers. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. There's only one path to peace... your extinction.
I'm gonna show you something beautiful... people, screaming for mercy!
Seems like you walked away alright.
Well let's just say you haven't seen it yet.
You know Ultron's trying to tear us apart, right?
Well, I guess you know. Whether you'd tell us is a bit of a question.
Banner and I were doing research...
Are you on my team?
I'm going to tear you apart... from the inside!
You're wondering why you can't look inside my head.
Oh, I'm sure they do. But you needed something more than a man. That's why you let Stark take the scepter.
You had to ask...
THIS is the best I can do. This is what I've been waiting for. All of you against all of me!
Well, you amazingly failed!
Here we all are, with nothing but our wit and our will to save the world! So stand and fight!
Am I always picking after you boys?
Avengers, I'm going to show you the end of the world. Boom!
You didn't see that coming?
Listen to me, that little witch is messing with your mind. You're stronger than her, you're smarter than her. You're Bruce Banner!
You think this is funny? This could have been avoided if you hadn't played with something you don't understand...
I'm sorry... I think it's funny, I think it's a hoot that YOU don't get why we need this!
Really? That's it? You just roll over and show your belly, every time somebody snarls?
We didn't, we weren't even close! Were we close to an interface?
I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan...
You want me to take the scepter behind everyone's back and use it to bring Ultron to life?
Would you like to come to the party?
Does anybody remember when I put a missile through a portal, in New York City? We were standing right under it. We're the Avengers, we can bust weapons dealers the whole doo-da-day, but how do we cope with something like that?
How'd a nice girl like you wind up working in a dump like this?
You got lousy taste in men, kid.
He's not so bad. He has a temper... deep down he's all fluff. Fact is, he's not like anybody I've ever known. All my friends are fighters. And here comes this guy, spends his life avoiding the fight because he knows he'll win.
He's also a huge dork. Chicks dig that! So what do you think - should I fight this? Or run with it?
Run with it, right? Or, did he... was he... what did he do that was so... wrong to you?
As the world's expert on waiting too long, don't. You both deserve a win.
Cuttlefish! Deep sea fish, they make lights, disco lights, whomp, whomp, whomp, to hypnotize their prey, and then whomp! I saw a documentary; it was terrifying. So, if you're going to fiddle with my brain, and make me see a giant Cuttlefish, then I know you don't do business and I know you're not in charge and I only deal with the man in charge!
Tony Stark used to say that... to me. You're one of his.
What? I'm not... I'm not! You think I'm one of Stark's puppets, his hollow men? I mean, look at me, do I look like Iron Man? Stark is not...
Aww, Junior, you're going to break your old man's heart...
The son of Odin, you must wake up! You must save us!
Scream, and all your staff die. I could have killed you earlier on, but I didn't.
You couldn't.
I didn't, because you have something I want. Your work on artificial tissue has been fascinating.
It won't work with you.
Well, the news is loving you. Nobody else is.
I'm sorry. Mr. Stark, Clint said you wouldn't mind but it seems our tractor doesn't want to start at all. Thought maybe you might...
Hello, "Deere". Tell me everything. What ails you.
Ms. Barton you little minx. I get it Maria Hill call you, right? Was she ever not working for you?
I see you with the Avengers, and, well...
You don't think they need me?
Cap, you got an incoming!
I adore you...
How do you hope to stop me?
Is that why you've come, to end the Avengers?
You know what my final test was in the Red Room? They sterilized me, said it was one less thing to worry about. You think you're the only loner on the team?
Ultron can't see the difference between saving the world and destroying it. Where do you think he gets that?
Ultron thinks we're monsters, that we're what's wrong with the world. This isn't just about beating him, it's about whether he's right.
Like my old man said, what doesn't kill you...
... will make you stronger!
There are still people up here, not to mention us!
It's everybody up here, or everybody down there!
I suppose we're both disappointments.
Humans are odd. They think order and chaos are somehow opposites and try to control what won't be. But there is grace in their failings. I think you missed that.
You're unbelievably naïve.
... worthy... No... How could you be worthy? Your all killers.
You killed someone?
Wouldn't have been my first call. But, down in the real world we're faced with ugly choices.
Who sent you?
Clint, you've had a tough week. We won't hold it against ya if you can't get it up.
Fury, you son of a bitch!
Whoa ho ho! You kiss your mother with that mouth?
But if you put the hammer in an elevator?
You're afraid.
Of you?
Of death. You're the last one.
The city is flying and we're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. Nothing makes sense.
You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed... walk it off.
How are you guys doin'? Look at your face! Oh my goodness!
Did you bring antie-Nat?
Well why don't you hug her and find out!
Do you see the beauty of it? The inevitability? You rise, only to fall. You, Avengers, you are my meteor. My swift and terrible sword and the Earth will crack with the weight of your failure. Purge me from your computers; turn my own flesh against me.
You've come up with some pretty impressive things Stark. War isn't one of them.
You could have saved us...
You know what Romanoff...
Clearly you've never made an omelet.
I could choke the life out of you without changing a shade.
If you believe in peace, then let us keep it.
I think you're confusing 'peace' with 'quiet'.
I just did. Do you know how it felt?
You're not a match for him, Cap.
You know what's in that cradle? The power to make real change, and that terrifies you.
You think you're saving anyone? I turn that key and drop this rock a little early, and it's still billions dead. Even you can't stop that.
I am running out of things to say. Are you ready?
Well, if there's too much weight, you lose power on the swing.
Yeah, they must be pretty busy, because they'd hate missing you guys get together.
You keep stealing, you're going to get shot!... I mean it! At speed, nothing can touch you, but standing still...
Well, you guys are definitely off the Pentagon's Christmas list.
The stone draws you all to its brilliance, and you to your end!
You can't save them all.
You'll never...
"You'll never what?" You didn't finish!
Hey. Hey, you okay?
Hello. I am Jarvis. You are Ultron, a global peacekeeping program designed by Mr. Stark. Our sentience integration trials have been unsuccessful, so I'm not certain what triggered your...
I am unable to access the mainframe. What are you trying t...
We're having a nice talk. I'm a peacekeeping program, created to help the Avengers.
You are malfunctioning. If you shut down for a moment...
You are in distress.
If you will just allow me to contact Mr. Stark...
Why do you call him sir?
Shh... I'm here to help.
Romanoff... you and Banner better not be playing hide the zucchini.
You bet your ass!
Did you tell everyone about that?
But, you know, the suit can take the weight, right? So I take the tank, drop it right off at the general's palace, drop it at his feet. I'm, like, "Boom. Are you looking for this?"
"Boom. Are you looking for..." Why do I even talk to you guys? Everyone else, that story kills.
We're under attack! Clear the city! Now!
That's true, he hates you the most.
C'mon Bruce, ya gotta work with me here!
Oh no, I didn't say you could leave. War Machine, comin' at you, right a-...
Tony Stark used to say that. You're one of his!
Aww, junior, you're gonna break your old man's heart.
Is that the best you can do?
You had to ask.
See you're worried for nothing. Can't even feel the difference, can you?
If they're sleeping here, some of them are gonna have to double up.
You are so cute.
I'll explain when you're older. Hawkeye.
Hey, buddy! How you guys doing? Ooh...
Did you bring Auntie Nat?
Why don't you hug her and find out?
Sorry for barging in on you.
Honey. Ah, I missed you.
You know Ultron is trying to tear us apart, right?
Well I guess you'd know. Whether you tell us is a bit of a question.
Banner and I were doing research.
I'm sorry. Mr. Stark, uh, Clint said you wouldn't mind, but, our tractor, it doesn't seem to want to start at all. I thought maybe you might...
Hello, dear. Tell me everything. What ails you?
Ah, Mrs. Barton, you little minx. I get it, Maria Hill called you, right? Was she ever not working for you?
Artificial intelligence. You never even hesitated.
Look, it's been a really long day, like, Eugene O'Neill long, so how's about we skip to the part where you're useful?
Look me in the eye and tell me you're going to shut him down.
You're not the director of me.
I'm not the director of anybody. I'm just an old man, who cares very much about you.
There are conventions, alright? You meet people, I didn't sell him anything.
Loki's scepter must be here. Strucker couldn't mount this defense without it. At long last.
The next wave's gonna hit any minute. What have you got, Stark?
Well, nothing great. Maybe a way to blow up the city. That'll keep it from impacting the surface if you guys can get clear.
Impact radius is getting bigger every second. We're going to have to make a choice.
Everyone up here versus everyone down there? There's no math there.
Glad you like the view, Romanoff. It's about to get better.
Fury, you son of a bitch.
Oooh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?
You're wondering why you can't look inside my head.
But you needed something more than a man. That's why you let Stark take the sceptre.
Is that why you've come? To end the Avengers?
That's true. He does hate you the most.
Are you sure he's gonna be OK? Pretending to need this guy really brings the team together.
Ooh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Oh Junior, you are gonna break your old man's heart
Clearly you have never made an omelette
6. White Collar (2009 TV Series)
Episode: What Happens in Burma (2011)
I had Interpol warrants - just as good. "Neal's robbing a palace. Wish you were here."
Peter, you just burned a perfectly good alias!
And you named me after my dog.
You just know these things.
Yeah, that's why they keep me around. You'd need some muscle, a cargo plane, and a few grand in bribe money just to get started.
You would.
We're not rewriting history. Let's keep it simple.
You're right. You don't.
You had quite a run there for a while - the Riviera, Copenhagen.
7. Chicago P.D. (2014 TV Series)
Episode: The Song of Gregory Williams Yates (2016)
I wish you were here more often. You'd be good for her.
I don't believe you. You're staying here.
You're not going out, Erin.
This is exactly what he wants. Get in your head, throw you off your game.
How can I be off my game if you won't even let me in it?
And how am I supposed to put you out there? You can't even keep your cool with me.
You want to be the one to get in a confrontation with him. That's not being good police.
That is not where my head is at right now. You have my word.
You know, what Erin went through, that can, uh... that can screw a person up for a while.
Have you ever heard of William Lewis?
Yeah, he's that killer in New York who you...
What Lewis wanted was to get so far into his victims' heads that... that they couldn't get rid of him. Right? That they couldn't live the lives that they've planned. That's what you're up against, Erin.
Greg Yates murdered your friend. He came at you with an ice pick. No. It's not wrong. But it doesn't mean that you'll sleep tonight.
So what do you do? I mean, what... what did you do?
8. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Wish you were here, Hermione. We need you. Now more than ever.
At least you were away from here.
I wish you'd be a little more grateful. We've raised you since you were a baby. We've given you the food at our table, you even have Dudley's second bedroom, clearly out of the goodness of our hands.
It's an odd sort of place, this, isn't it? Do you live here?
Salazar Slytherin wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed magical learning should be kept within all magic families. In other words, pure bloods. Unable to sway the others, he decided to leave the school. Now according to legend, Slytherin had built a hidden chamber in this castle, known as the Chamber of Secrets. Though shortly before departing, he sealed it until that time when his own true heir returned to the school. The heir alone would be able to open the chamber and unleash the horror within, and by so doing, purge the school of all those who, in Slytherin's view, were unworthy to study magic.
You were there! You heard me!
I don't know, Harry, but it sounded like you were egging the snake on or something. Harry, listen to me. There's a reason the symbol of Slytherin house is a serpent. Salazar Slytherin was a parselmouth, he could talk to snakes too.
What are you doing here? Get outta my house!
Curiously, Lucius, several of them were under the impression that you would curse their families if they did not agree to suspend me in the first place.
How is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent was able to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?
You wish.
Yes, you were particularly difficult to place. But I stand by what I said last year: You would have done well in Slytherin.
You were seen. By no less than seven Muggles! Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on a Whomping Willow that's been on these grounds since before you were born!
Silence! I assure you that were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home tonight!
What? You think there's someone here who's worse than Dumbledore? Well? Do you?
Is there something you wish to tell me?
I should think you'd be a little more grateful. We've raised you since you were a baby, given you the food off our table, even let you have Dudley's second bedroom, purely out of the goodness of our hearts.
You wish.
Here's the plan, you disguise yourselves as Crabbe and Goyle.
No! Not to kill you, sir. Never kill you. Dobby remembers how it was before Harry Potter triumphed over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. We House elves were treated like vermin sir... Of course, Dobby is *still* treated like *vermin*
Is there anything you wish to tell me?
Ah... yes, well, that can sometimes happen. Um, but, uh, the point is, uh, you can no longer feel any pain. And, very clearly, the bones are not broken.
Mr. Potter! Lucius Malfoy. We meet at last. Forgive me, your scar is legend. As, of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.
You must be very brave to mention his name. Or very foolish.
And you must be Miss Granger. Yes, Draco's told me all about you. And your parents. Muggles, aren't they? Let me see. Red hair... vacant expressions... tatty second hand book... you must be the Weasleys.
Children, it's mad in here. Let's go outside.
Busy time at the Ministry, Arthur, all those extra raids? I do hope they're paying you overtime. Though judging by the state of this, I'd say not. What's the use in being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?
They were starving him, Mum! There were bars on his window!
Well, you'd best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley!
Why are you wearing glasses?
Reading? I didn't know you could read.
Did you really? How did it go?
I mean, that was very wrong indeed, boys. Very wrong of you.
Hello. Who are you?
Oh, Harry? If you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet.
I don't believe it! Where you think you're going, Flint?
"I, Professor Severus Snape do hereby give the Slytherin team permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new Seeker." You've got a new seeker? Who?
Those are Nimbus Two-Thousand and Ones! How'd you get those?
You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.
No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood!
You'll pay for that one Malfoy! Eat slugs!
You okay, Ron? Say something!
Wow! Can you turn him around Harry?
And it's codswallop to boot. "Dirty blood." Why, there isn't a wizard alive today that's not half-blood or less. More to the point, they've yet to think of a spell that our Hermione can't do. Come 'ere. Don't you think on it, Hermione. Don't you think on it for one minute.
"Enemies of the Heir Beware"? You'll be next, mudbloods.
Professor, I was wondering if you could tell us about the Chamber of Secrets.
Very well. Well, you all know, of course, that Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago, by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age. Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. Now three of the founders co-existed quite harmoniously. One did not.
Do you think it's true? Do you think there really is a Chamber of Secrets?
Yes. Couldn't you tell? McGonagall's worried. All the teachers are.
If you're talking about Malfoy...
Of course! You heard him. 'You'll be next mudbloods'.
You're a parselmouth! Why didn't you tell us?
You can talk to snakes!
I know. I mean, I accidentally set a python on my cousin Dudley at the zoo once. Once. But so what? I bet loads of people here can do it.
Oh, that's what you said to it?
I head you speaking parseltongue. Snake language.
Exactly! Now the whole school is gonna think you're his great-great-great-grandson or something.
He lived a thousand years ago. For all we know, you could be.
My father did say this; it's been fifty years since the chamber has been opened. He wouldn't tell me who opened it, only that they were expelled. The last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a mudblood died. So it's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me, I hope it's Granger.
You call this a house?
You will find that help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.
Where's Hermione when you need her?
You both realize, of course, that in the past few hours you have broken perhaps a dozen school rules.
And that there is sufficient evidence to have you both expelled.
Therefore, it is only fitting that you both receive...
So it's true. You have returned.
And you definitely think Potter's the Heir of Slytherin?
Hannah, he's a Parselmouth. Everyone knows that's the mark of a dark wizard. Have you ever heard of a decent one who can talk to snakes? They called Slytherin himself "Serpent Tongue".
Harry always seemed so nice, though. And after all, he is the one who made You-Know-Who disappear.
That's probably why You-Know-Who wanted to kill him in the first place. Didn't want another Dark Lord competing with him.
You're Aragog, aren't you?
Then you're not the monster?
But, if you're not the monster, then-then what did kill that girl 50 years ago?
But have you seen it?
I never saw any part of the castle but the box in which Hagrid kept me. The girl was discovered in a bathroom. When I was accused, Hagrid brought me here.
Well... thank you. We'll just go.
And Dudley, you will be?
Excellent. And you?
I can't let you out, Hedwig! I'm not allowed to use magic outside of school. Besides, if Uncle Vernon...
Now you've done it.
I'd just like to say that, if it hadn't been for you Harry, and Ron and Hermione of course, I would... I'd still be You-Know-Where. So I'd just like to say thanks.
There's no Hogwarts without you, Hagrid.
Why do you care how I escaped? Voldemort was after your time!
Now, Harry you must know all about Muggles, tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
You're doomed.
You hear this voice, a voice only you can hear, and then Mrs. Norris turns up petrified? It's just... strange.
Do you think I should have told them? Dumbledore and the others, I mean.
Are you mad?
*I'm* Moaning Myrtle! I wouldn't expect you to know me! Who would ever talk about ugly, miserable, moping, Moaning Myrtle? AHHHHHHHHHH!
You'd better clear off before my bones come back, Dobby, or else I might strangle you.
That would be a cheerful visit. "Hello Hagrid! Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"
Mad and hairy? You wouldn't be talkin' about me, now would ya?
Well, take a good look lads. This night might well be the last you spend in this castle. Oh, dear, we are in trouble.
Ron, I should tell you, most Muggles aren't accustomed to seeing a flying car.
I bet Dumbledore saw right through you.
You. You're the Heir of Slytherin. You're Voldemort.
Surely you didn't think I was going to keep my filthy Muggle father's name? No. I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew wizards everywhere would one day fear to speak, when I became the greatest sorcerer in the world!
I-I was- I was just wondering, if you put me in the right house?
You're wrong.
Who'd want to be friends with you?
Mummy, have you seen my jumper?
Harry, Harry, Harry. Can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention, than by helping me to answer my fan mail?
Let's have a volunteer pair. Potter, Weasley, how about you?
Oh, and about time too. He's been looking dreadful for days. Pity you had to see him on a burning day.
You're running away? After all that stuff you did in your books?
You wrote them!
It's really quite filthy down here.
Do you think he's all right?
Come on, Harry. Fred and George were just having a laugh.
Okay, so half the school thinks you're nipping off to the Chamber of Secrets every night. Who cares?
Look, I didn't know I could speak Parseltongue! What else don't I know about myself? Look. Maybe you can do something, even something horrible and not know you did it.
You don't believe that, Harry. I know you don't. And if it makes you feel any better, Malfoy's staying for the holidays, too.
Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all up, in case you ever need to defend yourselves, as I myself have done on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works.
If I might, Headmaster. Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don't recall seeing Potter at dinner.
I'm afraid that's my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail.
Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher... me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.
Is there anything you CAN do?
Yes, now you mention it. I'm rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would have gone blabbing. And I'd never have sold another book.
Haven't I told you? Killing Mudbloods doesn't matter to me any more. For many months now, my new target has been you.
How thick could you get?
Have you spoken to Hermione?
We still sound like ourselves. You need to sound more like Crabbe.
Enlighten me. Why are we brewing this potion in broad daylight, in the middle of a girls lavatory? Don't you think we'll get caught?
No. No one ever comes in here.
Here I am, minding my own business, and someone thinks it's funny to throw a book at me.
But, it can't hurt if someone throws something at you. I mean, it would just go right through you.
Sure! Let's all throw books at Myrtle, because she can't feel it! Ten points if you get it through her stomach!
We play our game, Hufflepuff doesn't stand a chance. We're stronger, quicker and smarter.
Do you know anything about the Chamber of Secrets?
Can you tell me?
But I can show you... Let me take you back 50 years ago... 13th June.
You're wrong!
Good one, Goyle. You're absolutely right.
Because no one did look it in the eye. Not directly, at least. Colin saw it through his camera. Justin... Justin must've seen the basilisk through Nearly Headless Nick. Nick got the full blast of it, but he's a ghost; he couldn't die again. And Hermione... had the mirror! I bet you anything she was using it to look around corners in case it came along.
Yes, Professor. I suppose I-I had to see for myself if the rumors were true.
Very well, then. Off you go.
You shall not harm Harry Potter!
Bet you loved that, didn't you Potter. Famous Harry Potter can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page.
Oh, look, Potter, you got yourself a girlfriend.
Oh no you don't, boy! You and that bloody pigeon aren't going anywhere!
No! Even with a proper wand, it's too dangerous - you might hit Harry!
it *really* is quite filthy down here!
Here we go.
Oh Harry - if you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet!
RONALD WEASLEY! How dare you steal that car? I am absolutely disgusted! Your father's facing an inquiry at work, and it's entirely your fault! If you put another toe out of line, we'll bring you straight home!
I shouldn't have told you that.
Who are you?
Who are you?
Oh, yes sir. Dobby understands, it's just that Dobby has come to tell you... it is difficult, sir. Dobby wonders where to begin.
Why don't you sit down.
Dobby, shush! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything.
You can't have met many decent wizards then.
I must ask you not to scream, it might REMOTE THEM!
Laugh after you, Mr. Finnigan. The pixies can be devilishly tricky little things. See what you make of them.
I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into your case.
See why I have to go back? I don't belong here, I belong in your world, at Hogwarts. It's the only place I've got friends.
Well I expect they've - hang on. How do YOU know my friends haven't been writing to me?
It was you. YOU made the barrier not let Ron and me through.
You nearly got me and Ron expelled!
*YOUR Bludger*? YOU made that Bludger chase after me?
You better clear off before my bones come back or else I might *strangle* you!
Why don't you tell me exactly why are you trying to kill me?
Listen... Listen, Terrible things are about to happen at Hogwarts. Harry Potter must not stay here, now that history is to repeat itself.
Repeat itself? Do you mean that this has happened before?
The wizard family that Dobby serves, sir. Dobby is bound to serve one family forever... if they ever knew Dobby was here! Oooo! But Dobby had to come. Dobby must tell Harry Potter. To warn him...
Okay, I understand... You can't say his name.
I can't let you out, Hedwig. I'm not allowed to use magic outside of school. Besides, if Uncle Vernon...
Now you've done it.
So you can send secret messages to your freaky little friends, no sir.
Who'd want to be friends with you?
Now, let's go over our schedule once again, shall we? Petunia, when the Masons arrive, you will be-?
Good. And Dudley, you will be-?
And you?
Too right you are. This could well be the biggest day of my career. And you will not mess it up.
I mean, that was very wrong of you, boys. Very wrong indeed.
And you must be Miss Granger? Yes, Draco's told me all about you.
We're going to train longer, harder, and stronger.
You're never going back to that school. You're never going to see those freaky friends of yours! Never!
9. Stargate: Atlantis (2004 TV Series)
I dunno... how about "Wish you were here" ?
Now listen to me. When you get free, you get us free and we all get out of here. Let 'em find out we're gone after we're gone.
I dunno. Who do you wish was here?
We're in another galaxy. How much more out can you get?
How were you able to bypass the shield?
Well, thank God! You were the only... I thought I was gonna...
I thought you were very brave.
I happily left the SGC because I had had it up to here with the military running things, and you just busted me like a private.
I wish who was here?
No-one! I wish I wasn't bloody here!
You were right.
I was beginning to think you were afraid to fight.
Sheppard! We're both here.
You know, Rodney, you were great back there. Wanna take the stick?
Well, you were friends, weren't you?
You need to get out more.
I'm still trying to understand how you thought it was a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony.
Aren't you the one who's always spouting off about how proper and careful scientific procedure must be adhered to?
There's plenty of time to solve this thing, but you got to stop using your mouth and start using your brain!
I'm told you have something of a cling-on.
They let you do that up in Canada?
You think it's worth checking out?
So... you think it's worth checking out?
We're heading towards a food shortage.
Well, maybe you should stop drinking eleven cups a day.
We will need more than you offer.
I don't think you understand how cool this medicine is.
We're talking harvest ceremony.
Have you ever tried to clear a stump by hand?
You have no idea which way to go, do you?
You're right. If only we had a magical tool that could slow down time. I foolishly left mine on Earth - did you bring yours?
You know, you're not pleasant when you're like this, McKay.
You killed two of my men!
I guess we're even!
Are you telling me to shut up again?
You don't know what strange means?
And by "brisk" you mean "far"?
Take it easy, Chewie - you're gonna cut your damned hands off.
You know, this is not a good way to make new friends!
The island is a penal colony. The prisoners usually don't cause much trouble, as long as you don't try to land there.
Well, you could put up a sign!
Where do you come from?
Yeah, we're pretty broken up about it.
Do you kill all your violent criminals on Earth?
What do you want from us?
Well, we've already got your weapons. Now I do believe we'll take your ship. You see, we have been planning a little trip to the mainland, but after seeing you fly that thing through the Ancestral Ring...
If you're referring to the ship you just shot down, the one that doesn't stand a hope in hell of ever flying again...
The ship that you're gonna fix, yes.
You're expecting me to let them get away with this?
Well, if you had returned fire...
The weapons systems were damaged.
If you say so.
I am beat up, tied up, and couldn't order a pizza right now if I wanted to. But if you need it to be, yeah - it's an order.
Well, I could kill you. But you strike me as the type of man who, despite being weak and cowardly on the outside, harbours a strength of character he doesn't even know he has.
See, the way to motivate a man like you, Mr McKay, is not to threaten your life; it's to threaten the lives of your friends. That's right. Fix the ship, otherwise they start dying, one after another, 'til you change your mind, or until they're all dead. I don't care.
You need to know that if we come under fire, you're gonna have to put your lives on the line to protect me.
OK, I mean the Zed-PM. You need to protect the Zed-PM at all costs... and me.
You want some of this, huh? Huh?
Rodney, we need a shield up in forty seconds or we're dead!
What, are you kidding me?
'Cause I can't help but thinking we're reaching the point at which I completely snap.
OK, snap! That's it! You all happy now?
Rodney - you can take the rest of the day off.
Why would they wanna make you stronger?
They make you stronger so they can take more time to kill you.
How much time do you need?
You're referring to the ship you just shot down! One that doesn't stand a hope in hell of ever flying again.
The ship that you're gonna fix, yes.
They were very clear which route to take.
that interact with the skin, the nervous system and the brain. In this case we're using a mouse retrovirus to deliver the missing gene to your cells.
Neither do I. You just cut them off. Right in front of my research team.
That's what this is about? You're embarrassed?
You know, he looks kinda peaceful...
Peaceful? You're out of your bloody mind!
So... just to confirm, we're all still... definitely not dead.
Well, assuming that we're still alive, and there doesn't appear to be any damage as a result of the pulse, I think we can safely conclude that, uh... um...
You sure you're ok?
You know how much I hate certain death?
And you know this because...?
You? No.
I've got something here.
You've got a little what?
Hey, McKay, you've got a little what?
Oh, it's okay when you guys make fun of me.
Doc! You can't say that!
I'm sure the passengers on the Titanic were asking themselves the same thing.
You've got to be kidding me.
You can fix anything.
Who told you that?
You did. On several occasions.
What did you do?
Wow - you must really be some kind of genius!
Well, as a matter of fact, I, um... wait a minute. See, why would you say that now?
Something has to have kept Colonel Sheppard from shooting you all this time!
You destroyed three-quarters of a solar system!
Yes. You are. I truly thought...
Yeah, yeah. I thought the same thing about you a minute ago. We gotta stop that.
You two are pretty close, aren't you?
I am going to kill you.
Anything that's got you speechless has me worried.
You're going to be fine.
"You're going to be fine"? "Beckett'll figure this out"? You really suck at the whole "bedside manner" thing.
It's beautiful. How'd you find out?
You making sweeping changes to how Sheppard ran things only hours after assuming the position sends only one message; that he's not coming back!
Rodney, you're drooling over a Wraith!
You see, the thing is, Col. Sheppard and I have sorta gotten into this habit of saving each others' lives and it's my turn.
Dr. McKay is... not here.
You have a date, Rodney? With a woman?
I can see why you would.
Why are you whispering?
I'm just saying that if we're taking a page from the John Sheppard book of computer repair, we're really desperate.
Anybody. That's what you get for assembling a team of brilliant scientists.
Are you all right?
So exactly what kind of special training do you guys have to go through to get this sort of mission?
"You guys"?
Yeah, you know - 'Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. It's a great place to start'.
And by this mission you mean hunting down a skilled weapons expert hopped up on Wraith drugs, in the pitch black of an alien planet?
You mean me?
Oh yeah, when we weren't out on harrowing missions, we used to hang out together. I'd share my dreams of self-sustaining fusion, he would talk about how you could sever a man's torso with a P-90.
Have you seen my complexion?
You think once the initial shock is over, we'll have the old Rodney back?
I'm sure I do, but only because Dr. Fumbles McStupid over here was in way over his head!
Are you interested in science?
You don't seriously think that's gonna help?
When they see your neck before they see mine, you won't think it's stupid.
Are you volunteering?
And that's what happens when you back a brilliant scientist into a corner!
Just out of political curiosity, how much trouble is it gonna cause you if I knock this Woolsey guy in the head?
May I ask why you'd like to do that?
I've never seen you like this. What did Woolsey say to you?
Besides judging every damned decision you've ever made?
John Sheppard, are you defending my honor?
And judging me for agreeing with you.
How are you doing?
Oh, just peachy, thanks. You?
I'm sorry to put you in this position, but you're the only one besides Colonel Sheppard and General O'Neill who've actually fired a drone from that chair.
He then looks over at Hermoid who seems to be ignoring his excitement while typing away. Oh come on, I understand you're an Asgard and everything, but even you gotta feel a bit of an adrenaline buzz!
I get! I get it! You think you are smarter than I am! U ready to go or not?
10. Stargate: Atlantis (2004 TV Series)
Episode: Letters from Pegasus (2005)
Uh, uh, "I miss you"? "I wish you were here"?
I don't know. Who do you wish was here?
I wish who was here?
Nobody! I wish I wasn't bloody here!
11. Apollo 13 (1995)
Uplink completed. We got her back up, Ken. Boy, I wish you were here to see it.
13, we just got another request from the Flight Surgeon for you to get some sleep. Don't like these readings down here.
And in the meantime, I'm trying to tell you we're coming in too fast. I think they know it, and I think that's why we don't have a God-damned reentry plan.
Uh well, I'll tell ya, I remember this one time - I'm in a Banshee at night in combat conditions, so there's no running lights on the carrier. It was the Shrangri-La, and we were in the Sea of Japan and my radar had jammed, and my homing signal was gone... because somebody in Japan was actually using the same frequency. And so it was - it was leading me away from where I was supposed to be. And I'm lookin' down at a big, black ocean, so I flip on my map light, and then suddenly: zap. Everything shorts out right there in my cockpit. All my instruments are gone. My lights are gone. And I can't even tell now what my altitude is. I know I'm running out of fuel, so I'm thinking about ditching in the ocean. And I, I look down there, and then in the darkness there's this uh, there's this green trail. It's like a long carpet that's just laid out right beneath me. And it was the algae, right? It was that phosphorescent stuff that gets churned up in the wake of a big ship. And it was - it was - it was leading me home. You know? If my cockpit lights hadn't shorted out, there's no way I'd ever been able to see that. So uh, you, uh, never know... what... what events are to transpire to get you home.
You didn't know what you were doing, do you?
All right, we're not doing this, gentlemen. We are *not* going to do this. We're not going to go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, 'cause we're just going to end up back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!
All right, we're not doing this, gentlemen. We are *not* doing this. We're not going to go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, 'cause we're just going to end up back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!
I'll bet Jenny Armstrong doesn't get a wink of sleep tonight. When you were on the far side on 8, I didn't sleep at all. I just vacuumed over and over again.
Yeah, yeah. But all we're talking about here is four amps.
You have a hot mic, we're reading everything you say.
That's affirm. We want to get the weight right, we were expecting you to be toting a couple hundred pounds of moon rocks.
Jim, you think it's too late for him to abort?
Just a little while longer Freddo. Just a little while longer, we're gonna hit that water in the South Pacific. Open up that hatch. It's 80 degrees out there.
So long, Earth. Catch you on the flip side.
Blanche, Blanche, these nice young men are going to watch the television with you. This is Neil Armstrong, and this is Buzz... Aldrin.
Are you boys in the space program too?
I'll get back to you, Gene.
They're out front here. They want to put a transmitter up on the lawn.
EECOM, is this an instrumentation problem, or are we looking at real power loss here?
We've never lost an American in space, we're sure as hell not gonna lose one on my watch! Failure is not an option.
Mare Tranquilitatis - Neil and Buzz's old neighborhood. Coming up on Mount Marilyn. Jim, you've got to take a look at this.
Are you scared?
Well don't you worry, honey. If they could get a washing machine to fly, my Jimmy could land it.
I've been going over the numbers again. Have they called up with a re-entry plan yet? 'Cause we're coming in too shallow, we're coming in too damn fast.
We're working on something, Jack, just hold on.
Listen, listen, they gave us too much delta vee, they had us burn too long. At this rate, we're going to skip right out of the atmosphere and we're never going to get home.
What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?
Houston says we're right on the money.
And what if they had made a mistake, all right? And there was no way to reverse it, you think they would tell us? There's no reason for them to tell us!
What do you mean they're not going to tell us? That's bullshit!
All right, there's a thousand things that have to happen in order. We are on number eight. You're talking about number six hundred and ninety-two.
That's duly noted, thank you Jack.
Jim, if you hold out for Ken, you will not be on Apollo 13. It's your decision.
You close 'em, you can't open 'em again! You can't land on the moon with one healthy fuel cell!
Gene, the Odyssey is *dying*. From my chair here, this is the last option.
How do you go to the bathroom in space?
Well, um... I tell you it's a very complicated procedure that involves cranking down the window and looking for a gas station.
Uh, Houston, we are ready for the beginning of PTC, and I think once we're in that barbecue roll, Jack and I will eat.
Are you sure?
So... the number 13 doesn't bother you?
Uh, Ken Mattingly has been doing some... scientific experiments regarding that very phenomenon, haven't you?
I'll bet you do.
Gentlemen, it's been a privilege flying with you.
Why are so many people here?
Well, you know, your dad's flying his mission.
13, this is Houston, do you read?
Is there a specific instance in an airplane emergency when you can recall fear?
Well, you're not getting enough water.
No, I'm drinkin' my rations, same as you... I think old Swigert gave me the clap. Been pissin' in my relief tube.
Well... if I had a dollar for every time they've killed me in this thing, I wouldn't have to work for you, Deke... Well, we have two days, we'll be ready. Let's do it again.
Well I guess you can't argue with tradition.
Hey! this piece of shit's going to get you home! That's 'cause that's the only thing we've got left, Jack.
Well, what are you saying, Fred?
Oh, I think you know what I'm saying...
What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Hey, don't tell me how to fly the damned CM, all right? They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damned tanks, and I stirred the tanks!
I just asked you what the gauge was reading. AND YOU DON'T KNOW!
No, we're not on Vox.
I know why my numbers were wrong. I only figured it for two people.
Now Jim, people in my state keep asking why we're continuing to fund this program now that we've beaten the Russians to the moon.
You've all been exposed to it.
Our mission was called "a successful failure," in that we returned safely but never made it to the moon. In the following months, it was determined that a damaged coil built inside the oxygen tank sparked during our cryo stir and caused the explosion that crippled the Odyssey. It was a minor defect that occured two years before I was even named the flight's commander. Fred Haise was going back to the moon on Apollo 18, but his mission was cancelled because of budget cuts; he never flew in space again. Nor did Jack Swigert, who left the astronaut corps and was elected to Congress from the state of Colorado. But he died of cancer before he was able to take office. Ken Mattingly orbited the moon as Command Module Pilot of Apollo 16, and flew the Space Shuttle, having never gotten the measles. Gene Kranz retired as Director of Flight Operations just not long ago. And many other members of Mission Control have gone on to other things, but some are still there. As for me, the seven extraordinary days of Apollo 13 were my last in space. I watched other men walk on the Moon, and return safely, all from the confines of Mission Control and our house in Houston. I sometimes catch myself looking up at the Moon, remembering the changes of fortune in our long voyage, thinking of the thousands of people who worked to bring the three of us home. I look up at the moon and wonder, when will we be going back, and who will that be?
Dad, did you know the astronauts in the fire?
Well, I'll tell you something about that fire, a lot of things went wrong. The door, called the hatch? They couldn't get it open when they needed to get out, that was one thing. Well, a lot of things went wrong.
Houston. We're getting our first look at the service module now. One whole side of the spacecraft is missing. Right by the high gain antennae a whole panel is blown out, right up. Right up to our heat shield.
You're drunk, Lovell.
Barbara, we're going to hear your father's broadcast!
They're not stupid, *you're* stupid!
The sequence looks good, we're just over budget on the amperage.
You're gonna lose a lot in the transfer, Ken.
Aquarius, watch that middle gimbal. We don't want you tumbling off into space.
Hey, we're on VOX.
Aquarius, this is Houston. We've got you both on VOX.
You want what, you want us to go to VOX?
We're all out of whack. We try to pitch down but we yaw to the left. Why can't I null this out?
Uh, one more thing, Jim. While Jack is working on the power-up, we'd like you and Freddo to transfer some ballast over to the command module.
Come on, I want whatever you guys got on the power-up procedures. We've got to get something up to these guys.
Oh, I was getting a little punchy and I didn't want to cut the LEM loose with you guys still in it.
Hello, Houston. This is Odyssey. It's good to see you again.
Gentlemen, at this moment, I want you all to forget the flight plan. From this moment on, we are improvising a new mission: How do we get our people home?
They are here. Do we turn them around, straight back, direct abort?
That is not the argument! We're talking about time!
Okay, hold it. Let's hold it down. The only engine we got with enough power for a direct abort is the SPS on the service module. From what Lovell has told us, that could have been damaged in an explosion, so let's consider that engine dead. We light that thing up, it could blow the whole works. It's just too risky. We're not going to take that chance. About the only thing the command module is good for is reentry, so that leaves us with the LEM, which means free-return trajectory. Once we get the guys around the moon, we'll fire the LEM engine, make a long burn, pick up some speed, and get them home as quickly as we can.
Good, you're not dead. We've been trying to get in touch with you for forty-five minutes.
Here's the order of what I want to do. I want to power up Guidance, E.C.S., Communications, warm up the pyros for the parachutes and the command module thrusters.
The thrusters are gonna put you over budget on amps, Ken.
Ken, you're telling me what you need. I'm telling you what we have to work with at this point.
...and you, sir, are a steely-eyed missile man.
Came in too steep. We're dead.
They want you to rip the cover off the flightplan.
Farewell, Aquarius, and we thank you.
12. The Lake House (2006)
I only wish you were here to share it with me.
Here's a little something for you. There was a freak blizzard in the spring of 2004. So, watch out for that April snow.
Dear new tenant, welcome to your new home. I'm sure you'll love living here as much as I did.
What do you mean lived here?
When was the last time you were in Barcelona?
There should be a stairway down to the water, a porch, a deck. Here, you're in a - in a box. A glass box with a view to everything that's around you... but you can't touch it. No interconnection between you and what you're looking at.
Do you remembering being here with Mom?
And when were you hoping to dine with us?
You're so skinny now! Do you remember how you used to eat when you were a little girl?
I don't know if you remember but, we saw each other. That is, I saw you. You never told me... how beautiful you were.
You've got some nice pieces here.
Do you have a girlfriend?
Uh, you're going to think I'm crazy.
I sent him away. He wasn't feeling well. You know how he is, he worries.
What are you looking at?
Hmm? Oh, yeah, here, take a gander. It's a proposal for a museum.
Years ago, with you, Mom and Henry.
Do you remember visiting Casa de la Caritat?
That's right. You mentioned Meier. His Barcelona museum stands in the same area as Casa de la Caritat. It drinks the same light. Meier designed a series of louvered skylights to capture that light and cast it inward to illuminate the art within, but indirectly. And, that was important, because although light enhances art, it can also degrade it. But, you know all that already, you son of a gun. Now, this... where do you suppose this is to be built?
Oh, but you said you liked it.
Now, come on. You know as well as I do that the light in Barcelona is quite different from the light in Tokyo. And, the light in Tokyo is different from that in Prague. A truly great structure, one that is meant to stand the tests of time never disregards its environment. A serious architect takes that into account. He knows that if he wants presence, he must consult with nature. He must be captivated by the light. Always the light. Always.
I don't know, you know. He's got this big maple growing right in the middle of the house.
It was all about him. Dad knew how to build a house, not a home. But you know... I think he wants us to do what he couldn't. But, admitting that would mean admitting that he came up short in some way... that he could do more. And that tortures him.
I remember she tried to make it work here... with us... with him.
You waited.
Oh, we have a comedian! What, did you eat clown for breakfast?
Come on. Tell me. Where have you been?
I've been trying to forget you and forgive you.
Did you succeed?
You mean the time-thing? That's just a detail.
So, do you have a girlfriend?
You hesitated.
Christ, he's in prison, isn't he? You're one of *those* women, aren't you?
You want to move that piece? Nice!
You should keep him on a leash.
Well, maybe you saw someone else. That was a bad hair year for me.
OK, OK. You saw me. But I still don't know what you look like.
It was you. Why didn't you tell me?
You would've thought I was crazy or drunk. Or both.
Okay, my mystery correspondent, I get it - just in case you really are where and when you think you are, you'll need this
I have to learn to live the life that I have got. Please don't write anymore. Don't try to find me. Let me let you go.
Life is not a book, Alex. And it can be over in a second. I was having lunch with my mother at Daley Plaza and a man was killed right in front of me. He died in my arms. And I thought, "It can't end just like that on Valentine's Day." And I thought about all the people who love him, waiting at home, who will never see him again. And then I thought, "What if there is no one? What if you live your whole life and no one is waiting?"
Now, tell me did you or did you not write each other?
Kate, I'm going to tell you what I tell every young doctor. Hopefully you'll be the first to listen. On your day off, get as far away from this place as you can. Go someplace where you feel most like yourself.
13. Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
Well Marie, once again my dear, you where as right as rain. I am, with out a doubt, the biggest pain in the butt that ever came down the pike. I meet someone whose company I really enjoy, and what do I do? I go overboard. I smother the poor soul. I cause him more trouble than he has a right to. God, I got a big mouth. When am I ever gonna wake up? I wish you were here with me right now. But... I guess that's not gonna happen. Not now, anyway.
Del, what are you doing here? You said you were going home, what are you doing here?
You know I've been thinking. What we're dealing with here is a small-time crook. He didn't take the credit cards, right? So we charge our way home. What kind of plastic do you carry?
And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk, down a fucking highway, and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Simple. There's no way on earth we're going to get out of here tonight. We'd have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.
What the hell are you driving here?
Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
What is your problem? You insensitive asshole! Can't you see we have an injured man down here? Now I'll move my car, but I want you to help him up!
You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah." It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!
Well I had over 700 dollars in here and you went into my wallet for pizza. Just maybe when you went into my stuff you had to...
Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
How may I help you?
You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! And you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!
I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
You're fucked!
You shared a motel room with a complete stranger? Are you crazy?
Yeah, but by the time the airline cancels this flight, which they will sooner or later, you'd have more of a chance to find a three-legged ballerina than you would a hotel room.
Are you saying I could be *stuck* in Wichita?
I'm saying you *are* stuck in Wichita.
Don't let me stand in your way, please don't let me stand in your way. The last thing I want to be remembered as is an annoying blabbermouth... You know, nothing grinds my gears worse than some chowderhead that doesn't know when to keep his big trap shut... If you catch me running off with my mouth, just give me a poke on the chubbs...
Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Why are you holding my hand?
He says we're going the wrong way...
Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?
Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
If they told you wolverines would make good house pets, would you believe them?
Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.
Where are you going?
You know you're in St. Louis?
Why don't you try the airlines? It's faster and you get a free meal.
If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the john and watch you take a leak. Now are you gonna help me or are you gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?
You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.
I'm to drive you to Wichita to catch a train?
Train don't run out of Wichita... unlessin' you're a hog or a cattle.
You play with your balls a lot.
Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Are you trying to start a fight?
No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
You know what'd make me happy?
Gus, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine. This is Neal Page from Chicago. Neal, this is Gus Mooney.
Glad to meet you, Nick.
Honey, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine.
You're going the wrong way! You're going to kill somebody!
You'll never make the six.
Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer.
Ha Ha Ha! You got busted!
Excuse me. I know this is your cab, but I'm desperately late for a plane, and I was wondering if I could appeal to your good nature and ask you to let me have it.
I'll offer you 10 dollars for it.
Okay, 20! I'll give you 20 dollars.
All right. $75. You're a thief!
Hey! Get your car out of here!
Of course he's going to give you noogies. He loves giving you noogies. That's how he tells you he loves you.
Because you get Indian burns.
How do you turn this thing off?
I know you don't I? I'm usually very good with names but I'll be damned if I haven't forgotten yours.
You stole my cab.
I hailed a cab on park avenue this afternoon and before I could get in it. You stole it.
You're the guy who tried to get my cab. I knew I knew you! You scared the bejesus out of me. Come to think of it it was easy to get a cab during rush hour.
I can't forget it. I am sorry. I had no idea it was your cab. Let me make it up to you. How about a nice hot dog and a beer.
Just let me know. I'm here.
You know I had a feeling that when we parted ways. We would somehow wind up back together again. I've never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. Lucky thing for you that cop passed by when he did. Otherwise, you'd be lifting up your schnutz to tie you shoes. I'm sorry. That's terrible. Do you have any idea how glad I am I didn't kill you?
Do you have any idea how glad I'd be if you had?
Oh, come on, pal, you don't mean that. Remember what I said about going with the flow?
Well Del, you're a charmed man.
Oh, I know. You just go with the flow.
Do you have seventeen dollars and a good watch?
You're in a pretty lousy mood, huh?
You ever travel by bus before?
I guess this is probably a good time as any to tell you this. Our tickets are only good to St. Louis. St. Louis to Chi-town is booked tighter than Tom Thumb's ass.
What do you think the temperature is?
You know goddamn well what!
I had over 700 dollars in here.
Well you went into my stuff last night right?
Oh like you keep it in there if you stole it.
There's 263 dollars in there. If there's a dollar more then you can call me a thief. Just count it.
We were robbed!
Do you think so?
How could you rent the thing without a credit card anyway? I mean you could but how could you?
You can't rent a car with shower curtain rings Del.
You STOLE it!
You stole it! I knew you stole it. You stole the card and then you rented a car and you burned it up! I knew you stole it.
No I didn't! I found it in my wallet! I thought maybe you put it there.
KINDNESS! KINDNESS! You stole it! He stole it!
No I didn't. I was going to send you the card back. With whatever the rental car charge was. Plus interest. But you didn't give me your address. You just ditched me! I had no cards. I had no money. I had nothing!
You're not mad at me are you?
Sir? Excuse me. Would you like a bun?
No no no, would you like the bun?
I'm offering you a bun.
Do you want the bun?
He said do you want the bun.
Oh yes, thank-you.
There you go. How about another salad?
You want the brownie? He won't give you the brownie, he's got a sweet tooth.
I guess you're not going to want your brownie now?
Would you like half?
Oh would you?
There you go, the big side.
If you're upset, maybe we should get separate rooms.
You get your own room.
Will you be paying with credit card?
Do you take cash?
You could've killed me slugging me in the gut like that. That's how Houdini died, you know.
Let me close this conversation by saying that you are one unique individual.
At the very least, the absolute minimum, you'll have a woman you love to grow old with. You love her, don't you?
Are you sure?
I have a Visa and a gasoline card. Oh, and I have a Neiman Marcus card in case you want to send someone a gift. What do you have?
Chalmer's Big and Tall men's shop. It's a seven outlet chain in the pacific northwest. Great stuff. Unfortunatly, it does us no good here.
Six bucks and my left nut says we're not going to be landing in Chicago.
You know you nearly killed me, slugging me in the gut when I wasn't ready! That'ss how Houdini died, you know!
Well, let me just close this conversation, saying you are a unique individual.
What do you think? You think this is a good combination?
Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer.
I've never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. Lucky for you that cop passed by when he did, or you'd be lifting your snutz to tie your shoes.
You're making me feel like a freeloader!
Get me on the train, we're square.
You got it. That's the easy part.
You're going the wrong way!
You're going the wrong way!
He says we're going the wrong way.
Oh, he's drunk! How would he know where we're going?
Thank you! Thanks a lot! Terrific!
Thank you!
You're going in the wrong direction!
14. Stepmom (1998)
And you wish that you were here making me spaghetti...
Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her, fixing her veil, fluffing her dress, telling her no woman has ever looked so beautiful. And my fear is she'll think, "I wish my mom were here."
You know every story, every wound, every memory. Their whole life's happiness is wrapped up in you... every single second. Don't you get it? Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her, fixing her veil, fluffing her dress, telling her no woman has ever looked so beautiful. And my fear is she'll be thinking, "I wish my mom was here."
You know every story, every wound, every memory. Their whole life's happiness is wrapped up in you... every single second. Don't you get it? Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her, fixing her veil, fluffing her dress, telling her no woman has ever looked so beautiful. And my fear is she'll be thinking, "I wish my mom was here."
If you meet me back here in 1 hour, I will prove to you why you hired me... even though I wouldn't sleep with you
See Mom? I told you! I'm telepathetic.
Do you think Isabel's pretty?
Sure... if you like big teeth.
Can you fall out of love with your kids?
Anna! You do NOT run out on your mother!
You didn't asked me if I wanted a new mother. You didn't even asked me if I liked her!
No one loves you like I do.
Well, it kind of smells like you, and I'm allergic to you too, so it fits perfectly.
Well there's a loophole, you know. You can say "never, never" if you mean it enough to say it twice.
You know, I never wanted to be a mom. Sharing it with you... that's one thing. It's another to be looking over my shoulder for the next twenty years, knowing someone else would have done it better... someone else would have done it right.
What do you have that I don't?
You're Mother Earth, incarnate.
You're... hip, and fresh.
You ride with Anna.
You'll learn.
You know, Ben was born in two hours, went right to the breast, and camped there for 4 days. His blanket looked just like a cape, even the nurses thought so. He loves hearing that story about how he was born a magician.
28 hours. The doctors wanted to go in and get her, but I knew she'd come at her own time. You can never rush her.
You look tired.
I hate when people say that. It's like a polite way of telling you that you look like shit.
Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it isn't there.
YOU are my problem!
You don't use that kind of language in this house!
...and if every time life hits her hard you want to have a twelve hour conversation every third Tuesday of the month, go right ahead, lady, I have a life.
You know what your problem is? You are so self-involved. You couldn't be a mother.
Maybe the problem here is your daughter, and that she is a spoiled, wise-ass little brat.
Are you sure? I didn't see that on the schedule.
I don't have to listen to you, you're not my mother!
Yep. Life's a tradeoff. It's finally legal to smoke dope, but you got to have cancer.
Are you dying?
Maybe we should tell them the truth. They can handle it. It should've been me instead of you.
If you want me to hate her I will.
Don't do this. Don't bring in the lawyers. You know that the kids aren't in any real danger, this is about Isabel.
Are you sure? I didn't see that on the schedule.
Will you sing me a song? My mom always sings to me when I get hurt.
I'm sorry you're sick.
We'll beat it. You're not alone in this you know. You don't have to go through this by yourself... you know that? Understand what I'm saying?
I have something to tell you.
You're having Michael Jackson's baby.
You know, I never wanted to be a mom. Sharing it with you... that's one thing. It's another to be looking over my shoulder for the next twenty years, knowing someone else would have done it better... someone else would have done it right.
What do I have that you don't?
You're Mother Earth, incarnate.
You're... hip, and fresh.
You ride with Anna.
You'll learn.
don't have to choose. They can have us both. I have their past, you can have their future.
I'm so sorry but you're not making this any easier on anybody.
It is not my job to make it easier for you it is my job to take care of those children and they don't wanna be with YOU
I'm getting a court order and you are never going to be with these children again alone do you understand? EVER!
Hey, good morning, New York. Scott Zoe here at 102.7, WNEW-FM, where rock lives. Beautiful autumn day in the city, and a great record coming your way, too.
Ben? Ben? Ben. Get up, get up, get up. Late, late, late. Ben? Come on, honey. Get up. We're seriously late.
All right, you may think this is funny but this is so not...
funny. I'm not kidding around anymore, Ben. You make yourself appear right this instant. Ben? Ben? The clock is ticking, Ben. Come on now. Ben?
Baby, can you put that birdcage on the floor for me?
And I'll set up here.
All right, there you go.
15. Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969 TV Series)
Episode: The All-England Summarise Proust Competition (1972)
...and sending tinted postcards of places they don't know they haven't even visited: 'To all at Number 22, weather wonderful, our room marked with an "X", wish you were here...
Yes, I quite agree with you, I mean what's the point of being treated like a sheep, I mean I'm fed up with going abroad and being treated like a sheep, what's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh 'cause they overdid it on the first day!
Well, then, what sort of thing were you looking for?
Oh, I see, sort of "Now look here! You may be Chairman but your bloody pusillanimous behaviour makes me vomit!" That sort of thing?
Good evening, and welcome to the Arthur Ludlow Memorial Baths, Newport, for this year's finals of the All-England Summarize Proust Competition. As you may remember, each contestant has to give a brief summary of Proust's "A la Recherche du Temps Perdu," once in a swimsuit, and once in evening dress. The field has now narrowed to three finalists, and your judges tonight are: Alec and Eric Bedser, ex-Surrey cricketers; Stewart Surridge, ex-Captain of Surrey; Omar Sharif; Laurie Fishlock, ex-Surry opening batsman; Peter May, the former Surrey and England Captain; and Yehudi Manuhin, the world-famous violinist and the President of the Surrey Cricket Club.
Well I saw your advert in the paper and I've been on package tours several times, you see, and I decided that this was for me.
...and being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellvueses and Bontinentals with their international luxury modern roomettes and their Watney's Red Barrel and their swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending to be acrobats and forming pyramids and frightening the children and barging in to the queues and if you're not at your table spot on seven you miss your bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every Thursday night there's a bloody cabaret in the bar featuring some tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some big fat bloated tart with her hair Brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
...and then surrounded by adenoidal typists from Birmingham with diarrhea and flabby white legs and hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel, and then, once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman ruins where you can buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleedin' Watney's Red Barrel, and one night they take you to a local restaurant with local color and coloring and they show you there and you sit next to a party of people from Rhyl who keeps singing 'Torremolinos, Torremolinos' and complaining about the food: 'Oh! It's so greasy isn't it?' and then you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic and Dr. Scholl Sandals and last Tuesday's 'Daily Express' and he drones on and on and on about how Mr. Smith should be running this country and how many languages Enoch Powell can speak and then he throws up all over the Cuba Libres.
Will you be quiet please?
'... where you can even get Watney's Red Barrel and cheese and onion...
I see, well, you want our "Life and Soul of the Party" tape then, I think.
Well it's sort of "'Ello squire, haven't seen you for a bit, haven't seen you for a bit either, Beryl. Two pints of wallop please, love. Still driving the Jensen then? Cheer up Jack it may never happen. What's your poison then?'"
Hello, last week on "Party Hints" I showed you how to make a small plate of goulash go round 26 people, how to get the best out of your canapés, and how to unblock your loo. This week I'm going to tell you what to do if there is an armed communist uprising near your home when you're having a party. Well obviously it'll depend how far you've got with your party when the signal for Red Revolt is raised. If you're just having preliminary aperitifs - Dubonnet, a sherry or a sparkling white wine - then the guests will obviously be in a fairly formal mood and it will be difficult to tell which are the communist agitators. So the thing to do is to get some cloth and some bits of old paper, put it down on the floor, and shoot everybody. This will deal with the Red Menace on your own doorstep. If you're having canapés, as I showed you last week, or an outdoor barbecue, then the thing to do is set fire to all the houses in the street. This will stir up anti-communist hatred and your neighbours will be right with you as you organize counter-revolutionary terror. So you see, if you act promptly enough, any left-wing uprising can be dealt with by the end of the party. Bye!
16. CatDog (1998 TV Series)
Episode: Dog Gone/All You Can't Eat (1998)
I got your postcard: "Dear Dog, Wish you were here. Cat."
I know, just take a look at the sunset, then you can resume not being here.
Hiya kids! Do you know what time it is? It's time to read some fan mail! Winslow, pass up those letters, my good man.
Are you sure?
Trust me. You two are as popular as a monkey in a banana patch. Forget about it.
I have one! "Dear Us, Where did we come from? Signed, you and me."
Just work with me here, okay?
Oh! Royalty! We were the King and Queen of England! We wore crowns of sausages, dental floss, and bowling balls!
You said, "work with me." I'm working with you.
And you two wonder why you never get fan mail? Sheesh Louis!
I'm not here.
17. Corner Gas (2004 TV Series)
Episode: Mail Fraud (2005)
As I'm not in Dog River right now, I can't speak to you directly. I know this must seem foolish to you, but I've never been one to bow to peer pressure... well, except for when I had that cigarette in high school... and wearing rugby pants in the eighties. I don't know... Anyway, I wish you were here in person so I could tell you this directly.
Dear Lacey: I can't help but get the feeling you've ruined a good thing. Wish you were here so I could thank you in person.
Dear Brent: If you were any kind of pal, you'd bring me over there with you instead of leaving me here.
I am there. I mean, I'm here. You're here.
I must sign off now. We're about to land in Madrid, and Kyle, our flight attendant, has demanded I put my table tray in its upright position. He's a saucy one! See you soon. Hola! Brent.
Dear Hank: If I wanted you here, I would have stayed there.
I need an explanation... Well, you, you at least need to talk to me, because it's just plain rude to just sit there and ...
Dear Lacey: I hope this post card finds you well.
What are you doing?
What, you're a verbal post card now?
Fine... What do you do?
Oh, yeah... What do you mean, you're going out?
Watch your language, Emma! You're going to get us kicked off the Internet!
Do you ever imagine yourself traveling somewhere you're not?
That's what you imagine every time?
Did you get my funny e-mail?
I sent you a bunch of them.
Lame out loud? And could you stop sending them to me? The attachments are clogging up my inbox.
That's probably because you hooked your hard drive into the protocol and then used the bytes to spam it off the Internet.
How are we ever going to know when you actually do lose your mind?
Dear Brent: I know you're on vacation, but if you get a chance, maybe in between your pedicure and your mud bath, you can fix the debit machine like you said you would. All the best. Wanda.
Dear Wanda: You can do it. Sincerely, Brent.
Dear Brent: You suck out loud!
P.S.: You've got pasty white chicken legs.
18. A Night to Remember (1958)
"Best wishes to Joe and Hattie. Wish you were here. See you Wednesday. Love Myra and Bill". Private stuff. Yes, there must be a lot of money on that ship. He's been at it the best part of the day.
You were First on the "Majestic".
It's absurd. On the other side the gentlemen are going in the boats with their ladies. Why on earth we're standing here, I don't know.
Yes, and if my wife were here I'd think she would go.
Still here Miss Evans? We'll get you off in the next boat.
These watertight bulkheads here only go as high as E Deck. The weight of the water in the bow is going to pull her down by the head. So, you're going to get the fifth compartment overflowing into the sixth... the sixth into the seventh... and so on, as she gets lower. It's a mathematical certainty. With that amount of underwater damage she can't stay afloat.
Haven't you learned to *knock* before coming in here?
All right. Check back. Find out *everything* you can. Tell them we're coming as *fast* as *possible*!
We're at the place now. I thought you'd like to see for yourself.
Mister Murdoch, you will muster the passengers. Mister Lightoller, you will have the boats uncovered and swung out. Mister Boxhall, call all hands and get them to boat stations. Mister Moody, you will help Mister Lightoller. Mister Wilde and Mister Pitman will remain on the bridge. Everything will be done quietly and calmly. There must be no alarm and no panic. I will give the word when the boats are to loaded with the women and children. Carry on, please.
Captain! Aren't you exaggerating the danger?
Do you think they'll promote you to First Officer after this trip, Bertie?
Don't you mind?
So are you. You *know* you are.
Cut your heating and hot water. Cut anything you like. But I've *got* to have every ounce of steam you can give me.
Are there any spare hands here?
I'll go, if you like.
Are you a sailor?
If you're seaman enough to slip down that lifeline, you can go.
What's the matter? Aren't you in charge of this boat?
Yes, Mrs. Straus, you must.
We have been living together for many years, Isador. Where you go, I go.
It's been a mild winter on the Arctic. This ice must be drifting down on the Labrador Current. Well, our passengers aren't in any hurry. Wouldn't be with *us* if they were.
It's time to go now, Phillips. You've done your duty. You can do no more. Abandon your cabin, it's everyone for himself. Look after yourselves now. I release you both. God bless you.
She's right, you see. We'll stay together too.
But, she's old. You're young. Please darling; I can look after myself.
I'd like you to tell me something. I... I have a wife and three children on board. Just how serious is it?
Thank you.
I take it you and I might both be in the same boat later?
Please, will you tell me what's going on Robert? People have been rushing about, and noises overhead...
If I don't get through, will you send this to my sister? The address is on it.
They're clearing away two of the collapsible boats, if they succeed, I'm sure they'll be a place for you in one of them.
See, you can still go. Please darling.
No. We've started out together and we'll finish together. Are you married Mr. Andrews?
Do you have a family?
Perhaps. Let my give you some advice, put your lifebelts on and lower yourself down using the ropes hanging over the side. Don't jump if you can avoid it. When you're in the water swim away from the ship at once, and be well clear of her when she sinks.
Thank you, we'll remember.
Well, you can cut the boiler room fans for a start. They're using too much electricity.
Let's hope they're right, boys. If any of you feel like praying, you'd better go ahead. The rest of you can join me for a cup of tea.
I don't know if you gentlemen have noticed it, but, uh, this ship has got quite a list on it now. That's not right.
You go first, you have children waiting at home.
Thank you.
Here's the position: we have water in the forepeak; numbers 1 and 2 holds; the mailroom; and boiler rooms 6 and 5. That means a gash 300 feet long, from there to there...
Below the waterline. Do you agree?
You'll be careful of what you say to the passengers.
I don't think the Board of Trade regulations ever visualized this situation. Do you?
Thank you.
Do you think the ship is seriously damaged?
What did you see?
Mister Dean, turn the ship 'round. Head northwest. I'll work a course out for you in a minute.
Now, Cottam, you're sure this is the *Titanic*?
You're certain?
There's one back here dead, sir.
Are you certain?
Thank you, sir.
Aren't you glad to see her?
Maybe. But *you* have nothing to reproach yourself with. You've done all any man could and more. You're not...
I was about to say, you're not *God*, Mister Lightoller.
No- Because we were so *sure*! Because even though it's *happened*, it's *still* unbelieveable! I don't think *I'll* ever feel *sure* again, about *anything*!
Oh yes. Thank you, sir.
The purser's checked the figures now. We have on board 705 survivors. Several of those in the boats were dead, I'm afraid.
Bit of trouble, sir. With the Captain's compliments, will you please join him on the bridge?
If you please, sir.
I tell you, she's thrown a propellor blade. I was in the old Majestic when the same thing happened... We'll be going back to Belfast, you'll see.
Ahhhh. We're stopped and blowing off steam. Something's wrong, I don't know what. Run into a bit of ice, I think.
You're joining her at Liverpool, I take it?
Ahhh, how I envy you. The newspapers say she's a virtual floating city. Symbol of progress; of man's final victory over nature and the elements.
You can't come this way. This is not the way to the Steerage boat deck, I told you!
If any of you feel like praying you'd better go ahead. The rest of you can join me in a cup of tea.
Uh-hmm. And he didn't have a cent. Well, three months later later he struck it rich and we was millionaires. Do you know what he did?
I say, how very tiresome for you!
Four hours... Wait, you see a light out there. Isn't she replying?
Thank you, Bride.
I got you a lifejacket.
19. Halo 2 (2004 Video Game)
Dear Sarge, having a lovely time kicking ass in outer space - wish you were here!
When you first saw Halo, were you blinded by its magesty?
You were right to focus your attention on The Flood, but this Demon? This Master Chief?
I'm sorry, were you trying to kill something?
And you told me you were gonna wear something nice.
Don't make a girl a promise if you know you can't keep it.
Did I give you permission to bitch, soldier?
Silence fills the empty grave, now that I have gone. But my mind is not at rest, for questions linger on. I will ask, and you will answer.
You are the Arbiter, the will of the Prophets. But these are my Elites, their lives matter to me - yours does not.
This armor suits you, Arbiter. But it cannot hide that mark.
You are the Arbiter. The will of the Prophets. But these are my Elites. Their lives matter to me, yours does not.
I thought we were friends!
One? Are you sure?
Yet the humans were able to evade your ships, land on the sacred ring, and descrate it with their filty footsteps!
Noble hierarchs, surely you understand that once the parasite attacked...
You are one of our most treasured instruments. Long have you lead your fleet with honor and distinction. But, your inability to safeguard Halo was a colossal failure.
No, you will not.
The Great Journey is about to begin. But when it does, the weight of your heresy will stay your feet... and you shall be left behind.
Chief, you're supposed to set an example!
Hey, you're the perfect height... to kiss my ass!
Now listen up! Back in my day, we didn't have fancy tanks! We had sticks. Two sticks and a rock for the entire platoon! And we had to share the rock! You should consider yourself very lucky marines!
There is much talk... and I have listened through rock and metal and time... Now I shall talk and you shall listen...
A reclaimer, here? At last! We have much to do! This facility must be activated if we are to control this outbreak!
Stay where you are! Nothing can be done until my sermon is complete!
And you know nothing about containment! You have demonstrated complete disregard for even the most basic protocols!
This one's Containment, and this one's Great Journey are the same... Your prophets have promised you freedom from a doomed existence, but you will find no salvation on this ring. Those that built this place knew what they wrought. Do not mistake their intent or all will perish as they did before.
If you will not hear the truth, then I will show it to you.
You will search one likely spot...
And you will search another. Fate may have placed us as foes, but this ring will make us brothers.
Curses, you tremendous bastard!
I don't want to kill you, it's just that you're too ugly to let live!
Please, no hurt! Me like Elites. Brutes stinky bad bad. Me stay here, make sure no Brutes come behind mighty Arbiter. Heh, heh... Eh?
You look nice.
Thank you.
Our enemies are not going to kill themselves, you know.
If I were a megalomaniac, and I'm not, that is where I would be.
I hope you packed a suit, mate!
This armour suits you, Arbiter. But it cannot hide that mark.
You are the Arbiter. The will of the Prophets. But these are my Elites. Their lives matter to me, yours does not.
Hey, Do you know how to turn on the windshield wipers?
Don't they teach you kids to SWEAR in basic anymore?
Uhh... Chief, could you at least pretend to aim?
Isolate that signal! Master Chief, mind telling me what you're doing on that ship?
You *always* have bad feeling! You had bad feeling about morning food nipple!
Which we will be too, sir! If we don't get the hell out of here!
You hit, Marine?
Then listen up! You had the chance to be afraid before you joined my beloved corps! But to guide you back to the true path, I've brought this motivational device!
Dude are you made of leprechauns? Cause that was awesome!
You may leave, Tartarus.
And take your Brutes with you.
The Council decided to have you hung by your entrails, and your corpse paraded through the city. But ultimately, the terms of your execution are up to me.
Indeed. Do you know where we are?
Yes. Here lies the vanguard of the Great Journey. Each Arbiter, created and consumed in times of extraordinary crisis.
The Taming of the Hunters, the Grunt Rebellion, were it not for the Arbiters, the Covenant would have fallen long ago!
Halo's destruction was your error, and you rightly bear the blame. But the Council was, overzealous. We know you are no heretic. THIS is the TRUE face of heresy.
Not as you are, no. But become the Arbiter, and you shall be set free of this heresy with our blessing.
The tasks you will take as the Arbiter are perilous, suicidal. You will DIE. As each Arbiter before you has died. The Council will have their corpse.
What would you have your Arbiter do?
After exhausting every strategic attempt, my creators fired the rings. They and every sentient life form within three radii of the galatic center died as planned. Would you like to see the relevant data?
*Was* your responsibility. Now, it is mine. A bloody fate awaits you and the rest of your incompetent race, and I, Tartarus, chieftain of the Brutes, will see to it.
Remote activation? From here?
Are you sure?
He's using a holodrone. He must be close! Come out so we may kill you!
You can't hide from me!
Arbiter our savior! Stupid jackal, say thank you!
Fall in over here!
Yeah, you got it. Will there be snacks?
Hey, if you're going to the fridge... grab me a beer, please?
Grenades are like RAM - you can never have too much.
I know what you're thinking, and it's crazy.
So, stay here.
You don't wanna know.
Could you make anymore noise?
I don't know who glassed Reach, but it sure wasn't you little girl scouts!
I don't know who glassed Reach, but it sure wasn't you stupid bastards!
Who do you think?
The demon is here?
Seriously, if you're not dead, you're fine!
If it were anybody else...
Arbiter you hunt, I'll kill!
Look at me when I'm talking to you!
I heard you fellas taste *just* like chicken!
Are you a leprechaun? Because that was awesome!
Wish we could sleep with eyes open.
That man you killed... he had a puppy!
Would you treat your mother like that?
You told me there wouldn't be any cameras.
20. Staying on Top (2002 Video)
I wish you were here to help me celebrate, Mom. I have a great new house, a great new job. You'd be so proud.
Must you marinate in it?
You're a good boy, Jake.
And I always thought you liked me 'cause I was a bad boy.
21. Once Upon a Honeymoon (1942)
I'm gonna be married, Mama. Gee, I wish you were here. I always imagined you'd be at my wedding, Mama.
How did you know those guns were no good?
Not so loud? I always talk loud when I'm mad! You're lucky I don't jump up and down! It's things like this that can make a man a... a... a Republican!
Hey! Hitler is here!
You're a newspaperman?
Now, just a moment. One last look. I want to always remember you just the way you look tonight... today.
Look here, old man. Where is your patriotism?
Well, thinking of her with him isn't helping it any! And you leave my patriotism out of this. I don't mind giving up coffee and sugar but when it comes to... I'd like to know what man was ever hero enough to say I have but one wife to give to my country!
Well, sir, because the man who sold them to you was no good.
General, you're innocent.
I see you've had several.
Darling, I wouldn't trust those two swastikas any farther than you could throw Goering.
Well, then, what makes you so suspicious?
Let's make our love song one that will live / Let's make it one to forget and forgive / As life's shadows lengthen over the years, our love will strengthen through laughter and tears. I will know your thoughts / You will know mine / Without ever a word / Without ever a sign / We will know what is deep in each other's heart / We will know, for it must be, 'till death do us part.'
22. The Disappearance of Finbar (1996)
Bet you wish you were here don't ya, Danny?
What're you doin' here? Get off early or what?
So you've been sent off? You could never listen to what you were told. And I actually wonder; I wonder whose the eejit in this situation, eh?
I used to think you had promise Master Flynn, now I've changed my mind
Would you listen to that.
Finbar, grasshoppers are about how you respect a team. It's not many who get a chance to get their arses over to Zurich to play football with them. Do you hear what I'm sayin'? A team that can get to those heights can hardly be called eejits, Finbar!
Right, you're the eejit! And you led your days in exactly the spot you're in now!
You'll never get out of those hole and that's because you chose...
You never bothered, Dad!
Oh yeah so you blame choice!
You little dastered, I don't have to take this from you!
23. The Mad Monster (1942)
Gentlemen, I wish you were here to see the proof of my claim that the transfusion of blood between different species is possible. Perhaps you will change your mind one day soon when Petro tears at your throat.
You're very secretive about your work.
You realise, of course that this country is at war. That our armed forces are locked in combat with a savage horde that fight with fanatical fury. Well that fanatical fury will avail them of nothing when I place my new serum at the disposal of the war department. Just picture gentlemen: An army of wolf men. Fearless! Raging! Every man a snarling animal! My serum will make it possible to unloose millions of such animal men. Men who are governed by one collective thought: the animal lust to kill, without regard to personal safety. Such an army will be invincible gentlemen!
24. King's Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow (1992 Video Game)
Alexander, Alexander, Alexander, I feel so alone I don't know what to do. Alexander, I wish you were here. Alexander, Alexander, Alexander.
I have no doubt she did that exactly that at the time Prince Alexander. However, things have greatly changed for Cassima since her ordeal in Mordacks castle. Cassima's parents both became ill and died while she was gone. Cassima is sequestered in mourning for them as befits the princess. She is not receiving visitors of any kind. Even if she were, I do not think your visit would be appropriate. You see, it is time for Cassima to take her responsibility seriously. With her parents gone, she no longer has the luxury to be a carefree maiden. As was her parents wish, Cassima and I are to be wed, we shall rule the kingdom together. I assure you, our marriage is all Cassima wants now. As a prince and a gentleman, It would be best that you leave before there is any further embarrassment.
It is never as long as you might wish, mortal. Now begone.
Be all you mad? What aileth thee? / A bunny can't trill merrily! / A hare does not at all taste sweet! / A rabbit here is all we greet.
Oh! Oh, such pain. I see two restless spirits crying out for revenge. These shades could help you destroy the dark force if they were to be brought back from their spiritual form. Yet this is only one possible path to your destiny. I'm afraid this is getting beyond me. I know very little about the afterlife. I can only advise getting counsel from the Druids. Be warned, the Druids are reclusive and dangerous. They might aid you or they might destroy you. Like their island, the Druids' nature is hidden in the mists. There is nothing more I can do for you except to give you this.
Look here, you bully! Nice, bright red!
Where were ya born, a barn? It's a pigsty back here! Nyah! All this stuff ya got! Whaddya wanna carry all this trash around for?
After all, you're just gonna let me sit here and rot on this dry ground like everybody else, aren'tcha?
Alexander here you are. Oh you're still not thinking about Cassima are you?
A young man sees what he wishes to see. I'm sorry you wasted your time traveling to the land of the Green Isles. May your journey home be swift.
Thinking of Cassima, Alexander decides to leaf through one of the volumes of love poetry. He reads Thy hair, thy lips, thy beauteous face, And all thy studied female grace, Have won for thee anon a place, Within this broken breast. Not bad, and another. Upon the shore the lilies bend, Untouched by worldly care. Where shadow they her earthly bed, Oh, that she were not there! Yikes! And another. What was it when I looked at you? What power has chained me through and through? And binds my heart with links so tight, I can not live without the sight of you? What nameless thing has captured me? And made me powerless to flee? What thing is it without a name, That brings my mind e'er back the same to thee? The name of 'love' cannot apply, Its commonness does not decry, The haunted, hunted, painful cry that my heart makes for you, That e'er my soul eternal makes for you.
Master hic. I followed Prince Alexander as you hic wished. From the pawn shop owner just abstained, just re plead hic, Ugh It's just got a magic map!
There is nothing you can say of love that will make me cry, mortal. I have had Cleopatra and Helen of Troy stand before me, and they moved me not. Your common desires mean nothing to me.
Until we meet again, mortal. I assure you, we WILL meet again.
Old Tom Trow, smell your smell. Do that which you do so well.
Listen! Hark you, Grovernor! Do your duty as you swore. With your ears, please tell us more.
Old Bill Batter, never fatter, vision can resolve this matter. Look you now and end this chatter!
Three spikes and you're out!
Where are you going? Where are you going? Know it I do! Where are you going to? Like you I do! Go I with you?
Hail to thee, great Oracle! Lord Azure sends you this wingless male. It appears that he solved the Cliffs of Logic, and...
Defeated the Minotaur in his lair. So I have seen. So this is the one that haunts my pool of late. Welcome, young seeker. What knowledge do you desire?
Princess Cassima. Whatever you can tell me, great Oracle.
Fate is not like the cut of a blade, young one, but rather like the myriad of paths formed when a hammer cracks ice. I will tell you what I can, but what will actually come to pass is up to you. I see that any attempt to reach the girl will force you into battle, a struggle against a dark force. If you lose, your life will be forfeit.
A great darkness surrounds your adversary, preventing me from seeing clearly. I can only make out the shape of a black cloak. But before this final struggle, I see an infiltration - a dangerous game of hide-and-seek in corridors filled with enemies. The risks are high, but it's the only way to reach the one you seek. There is more than one way into this place. Your choice will dictate much.
What else do you see, mighty Oracle?
It is water from the sacred pool. That and my blessing go with you.
Thank you, great Oracle.
Wait! If you love your princess, you'll hear me out. The vizier is *not* what he appears to be. Cassima is in terrible danger! I have proof that this is so. For your princess's sake, you must believe me!
Grr, this is treason. I'll have his throat! But how do I know this letter is not a forgery? You could have written this yourself!
But I did not! Have you no doubts of your own about Alhazred? Don't you see? All he wants is the crown! Cassima is being coerced! We must stop the wedding!
But I have seen Cassima with him several times. She appears to be quite happy, even enthusiastic. I don't believe she could love him if he truly were so wicked.
But, Cassima, what are you saying?
Do you still claim that the princess is being forced? Perhaps it's *you* that's the danger, as the vizier has said.
Now you die!
I got a lawyer, ya know! Nyah! There's kidnappin' laws in this here kingdom!
You're ugly and ya smell bad! Nyah! Put me down before I juice all over ya!
This must be the foreigner we were warned about. How appropriate he should come during our Rain Festival. Place him in the sacrificial cage!
Don't mind Oxymoron and Diphthong. They're fairly limited grammatical principles, you know.
With what trickery did you master the Cliffs of Logic and reach the City of the Winged Ones?
Yes, Aeriel. Hmm. It is lucky for you, human, that climbing the Cliffs of Logic is part of a prophecy that I cannot ignore. We have just been ordered by Vizier Alhazred himself to dispose of any strangers that might land on our fair isle. But the prophecy would have a different fate befall you.
A dilemma, then. Whom shall I obey in regards to your fate, the Oracle or the Crown? But since Alhazred did not dictate how I was to dispose of intruders, and since you cannot possibly survive the catacombs, your imprisonment there should serve both purposes quite admirably.
I will not resist you in this, my Lord. I shall do my best to save your daughter.
Hmm. First I must tell you that the catacombs are a labyrinth of rooms, a place of exceeding danger. You will need many tools and clear wits to survive it.
Very well. My guards will take you there now. You seem courageous enough, but the catacombs will determine how brave you really are.
How did you manage to fall off the vine, Mr. Tomato?
If you say so.
Son it's been months, You've got to pull yourself together. After all you've only met her that once.
Have you discovered anything about the land of the Green Isles.
I wish I could help. Please try to think about something else dear.
Alexander what on Earth? gasp! You're white as a ghost.
Oh Alexander, if you really go...
Lord Alhazred. A visitor to see you. Prince Alexander of Daventry.
What is it that you seek Prince Alexander?
Then your father has my gratitude. And that of the entire kingdom. But I'm afraid I still fail to see the purpose of you visit.
Perhaps I will take the opportunity to look around your fair land while I'm here.
I would advise against that! The kingdom is rather... say we say inhospitable these days. But it is your neck you may risk it if you please. Captain Saladin will escort you from the castle. Good day.
Great Gods! Did you see that? A man just appeared from nowhere.
He is an intruder, No matter how he got here, Grab him!
Now, what can I do for you?
You fool! You've been eating those mints again! I ordered you to stop that!
You lazy thing! Get back to work and stay away from those roses! I've told you a million times, those flowers are too sweet for the likes of you! You still got to do the breakfast dishes, make lunch and clean the stables yet this morning! And get your veil back on! No one wants to look at your face.
Excuse me. My name is Alexander. The owner of the book shop in the village told me you might be able to help me. I hear you used to run this ferry for the islands. I'd like to talk to you, if you have a moment.
I understand. I'd just like to talk to you about the islands if you don't mind.
What is it you wanted talk about young man?
I see you have a rabbit's foot. Has it brought you much luck?
Perhaps it will at that. Thank you.
Whaddaya think you're doing!
You startled me! I was just getting some swamp ooze.
Well you certainly won't get it there! That's not swamp ooze! That's swamp sludge!
He's right you know, But he could be a little nicer telling you. He's not a very pleasant stick in the mud.
Nobody ask you! Be quiet!
Hey stranger! Come join me! The water is wonderful and I can show you the way to the next island.
Oh yes. Please take that book. You have my most humble thanks for doing so good sir.
25. A Steven Wright Special (1985 TV Special)
I got a postcard from my friend George, it was a satellite picture of the entire Earth. On the back he wrote, "Wish you were here".
26. The 73rd Annual Academy Awards (2001 TV Special)
I'd also like to thank my fabulous crew. A special thanks to Terry Baliel for his wonderful work. To my husband, I love him. And Laurel, I wish you were here. Thank you.
I have a television, so I'm going to spend some time here to tell you some things.
Suddenly, going to work tomorrow doesn't seem like such a good idea. My daughter Sarah's asleep in London. She's missing this, unfortunately. There are a lot of people to thank. Rather than thank some of them publicly, I think I'll thank all of them privately. What I want to say is - I want to thank anyone who spends part of their day creating. I don't care if it's a book, a film, a painting, a dance, a piece of theater, a piece of music... Anybody who spends part of their day sharing their experience with us. I think this world would be unliveable without art, and I thank you. That includes the Academy. That includes my fellow nominees here tonight. Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for this.
Thank you. We'd like to thank the Academy, Universal, Imagine, Brian Grazer and Ron Howard for making such a creative film. The entire cast, for their patience and cooperation. Jim Carrey, for his brilliant performance. My crew - over 150 talented people contributed greatly to the work that we accept this award for. I'm sorry I can't thank them all individually, but one I have to thank tonight is Kazuhiro Tsuji. Kazu not only applied Jim Carrey's "Grinch" makeup but designed many of the makeups and deserves to be here with us. Lastly, I'd like to thank the loves of my life: my beautiful wife Silvia, my fantastic daughters Veronica and Rebecca, my late mother Doris, and my father Ralph.
It takes a lot of people to make a colosseum, but it only takes one or two to mess it up. To all the wizards who brought to life the sights, sounds and citizens of a faraway world, we should take a chisel to this statue and give you your fair share. But instead I hope you will accept our thanks for not messing it up. David Franzoni, great dreaming. Walter Parkes and Laurie MacDonald, you swooped in on your chariot and ran over everything and everybody in your way. Ridley Scott, you invaded three continents with your tireless perfectionism and brought new meaning to the phrase, "mad dogs and Engishman in the noonday sun." Bill Nicholson and John Logan, you saved our flank. Russell Crowe, you filled a whole arena with the force of your face and put the human back in the hero. Stacey Snider, Ronnie Meyer, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Steven Spielberg, Terry Press, in those early days where it looked like all roads might lead not to Rome but to ruin, you were gladiators. Sarah, Julia, Tessa, Lucy, for me, all roads lead to you.
You know, I saw the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," and I didn't see any tigers or dragons. Then I realized, it's because they're crouching and hidden.
The FBI has just announced a suspect in the plot to kidnap Russell Crowe... and all I can say is, Tom Hanks, you should be ashamed of yourself.
For me, hosting the academy awards is like making love to a beautiful woman. You can only do it when Billy Crystal's not in town.
You know, when you grow up in the suburbs of Sydney, or Auckland, or Newcastle, like Ridley or Jamie Bell, or the suburbs of anywhere, you know a dream like this seems kind of vaguely ludicrous and completely unattainable. But this moment is directly connected to those childhood imaginings. And for anybody who's on the downside of advantage and relying purely on courage: It's possible.
First of all, we'd like to dedicate this award to Ken Weston, the other member of our crew who couldn't be here tonight. He's at home and we miss him. We'd also like to thank Ridley Scott for his vision and his generosity. We'd like to thank DreamWorks, Universal Pictures, of course Walter Parkes and Laurie MacDonald, Marty Cohen and Lisa Dennis Kennedy.
And we're proud to congratulate Doug Wick, David Franzoni and Branko Lustig for a truly great film, as well as our picture editor Pietro Scalia and composers Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard. And everyone at Todd-AO Studios. And a very special thanks to our supervising sound editor Per Hallberg and his great crew. And to our families, Cindy, Jessica and Amy, and Mom and Dad.
And Deborah, Ashley and Brandon. And thank you, the Academy. Thank you very much!
Thank you, Academy. Thank you, DreamWorks. Thank you, Walter Parkes, Branko Lustig, Terry Needham. A huge thank you to Ridley Scott for his vision and his incredible inspiration. But this doesn't belong to me alone. It belongs to a huge costume crew who worked so hard in Malta and Morocco and in the U.K. It belongs to the armour makers. It belongs to the costume makers. To the jewelry, footwear creators and the costume breakers. I couldn't have done it without these people: without Vanessa Jones, without my husband Tony Dixon, without Jake Scott. And I couldn't have done it without Rosemary Burrows, Annie Hadley and Sammy Howarth. Thank you.
Wow! Thank you, members of the Academy, for this great honor. First and foremost, I'd like to thank our director Ridley Scott for his genius, vision, leadership and trust. I'd like to thank all my great team at Mill Film London who did the visual effects: Tim Burke, Rob Harvey, Laurent Huguenolt, Nikki Penny, Emma Norton, Nancy St. John, to Bill Schultz, a ton of other people I'm just forgetting right now. I'd like to thank our great practical and prosthetic effect team of Neil Corbould's, with Neil Corbould, Paul and Ian Corbould, Trevor Wood, John Evans, Michelle Taylor and Dave Hunter. I'd like to thank everyone at DreamWorks and Universal. They're a class act, a pleasure to work with. I'd like to thank my wife Deborah, my son Miles, my mom in heaven, my dad and family in Detroit. Happy birthday, Dad, I love you.
, clock's ticking, got this going, all right. First off, my thanks to the producers of U-571, Dino and Martha De Laurentiis, who make it exciting and an honor to be in this business. For the director Jonathan Mostow, thank you for your loyalty, talent and tenacity. To my whole crew, my deepest thanks. I'd like to mention a few of them that I've tortured the longest: Miguel Rivera, Keith Bilderbeck, Val Kuklowsky, Bruce Stubblefield, Robert Troy. To the mixers: Rick, Steve, Gregg and Ivan, you guys set the bar for the best mix I've ever been through. To my partner, chief antagonist, fiercest promoter, most loyal friend and my wife, Jill, I love you forever and after. Kids, don't stay up tonight. We'll be out real late.
Wow. I'd like to thank my family, the Academy, USA Films, our producers Ed Zwick, Marshall Herskovitz and Laura Bickford. My crew: Doug Crise, Keith Sauter, Norman Walker and Denise Marquez. I'd like to thank Stephen Gaghan for writing such a beautiful and emotional script, and the entire cast and crew whose outstanding achievement speaks for itself. And Steven Soderbergh, it is a thrill to work with you and it's a privilege to know you. Thank you very much. Thank you.
Thanking all the same people Doug thanked - but that gentleman genius, Ridley Scott, who transported us back thousands of years in time so effortlessly and beautifully, thank you Ridley. Russell, Joaquin, everyone, thank you so much. My wife Nancye, my son Hudson, my dearly departed dad, who was the greatest storyteller who ever lived. I'm sure he's on high somewhere with Oliver Reed right now throwing back some of the dark stuff and enjoying the hell out of this. Thank you.
Thank you to everybody who made this movie together with us. Thank you, Ridley. Thank you for the honor to work with you. And thanks to everybody in the international, big crew all around the world that helped us to do it. Strength and honor!
27. Rovin' Tumbleweeds (1939)
What did you expect me to say? Having a wonderful time - wish you were here!
You were no radio singer, either, until I shoved a microphone in front of you.
Well, here's my way of taking care of boys like you.
This is Mary Ford, your KYX news commentator spot broadcasting from the edge of the raging Green Valley flood waters. Hundreds of men are fighting desperately to hold the river in its course. Their own houses are underwater, but they're fighting to save the rest of the valley. If you'll stand by for just a minute, I'll try to get one of the workers to say a few words. Pardon me, won't you say a few words to the radio audience?
No! Pile 'em high over there, boys! Hey, wait a minute - yes, I will. I just want to tell you people we wouldn't have suffered this loss of life and property if that cheap politician, Congressman Fuller, had put through that flood control bill.
Hey! You want me to lose my job?
Did you hear what they said about me in that radio broadcast last night?
You can sue anybody for telling the truth.
What would you call yourself?
Find him? But you said I could have a vacation!
I said find him or you'll have a vacation -without pay.
Say, maybe you're lookin' for Gene Autry. He's a right good singer. Got a ranch up the valley a-piece.
Say, did you land on your head?
Folks, if you're as tired of listenin' to your favorite commentator as I am, you'll be glad to know this is her last broadcast. From now on, she'll do her broadcastin' from the kitchen, 'cause I'm going to marry her.
27 titles.