(2009 TV Series)
Episode: Britney 2.0 (2012)
Maria von Trapp, Willy Loman, Shrek: Those are the roles that are appropriate for your level of sex appeal.
|2.||The Longest Yard
Down, Shrek, down!
(2006 TV Series)
Episode: East Side Story (2007)
BACK TO YOUR CAVE, SHREK!
First of all my doctor totally messes up my nose job. I ask him to make me looked like Gwyneth Paltrow, i get off the surgery table looking life freakin' Shrek. And then I get here and Mr. Harper! Makes me feel like I'm some dumb blonde with big boobs.
|5.||Eastbound & Down
(2009 TV Series)
Episode: Chapter 1 (2009)
Oh wow, you better be shittin me. What's his name fuckin' Shrek? No, huh?
What's his name, fuckin' Shrek?
What's his name? Fuckin' Shrek?
You named your baby after "Titanic"? What's this mother fucker's name? Shrek?
Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything!
Shrek, remember when you said that ogres have layers?
Shrek, I'm looking down!
I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
With Shrek? Whoa, whoa, whoa... you think, you think that Shrek is your true love?
Shrek! Hold up, Shrek! You got to wait for the line!
Say, Shrek, what're we gonna do with our swamp?
You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me very deep just now... You know what, Shrek? I think this whole wall thing is to keep somebody out!
Just who are you trying to keep away? Just tell me that, Shrek?
Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
You know, Shrek... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
I don't get it, Shrek. Why didn't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread? You know, the whole ogre trip.
Okay, I see it. Hey, Shrek, can you tell my future from these stars?
Ohh... well, you know, I gotta go. I'm an asthmatic, I don't hold with smoke rings and stuff. SHREK!
Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camp is definitely starting to sound good!
Shrek? I'm... I'm worried about Donkey, he doesn't look so good...
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones! Just go in there and tell her you how you feel!
Yeah! What was it, something you ate? I told Shrek those weedrats were a bad idea!
All right, all right, calm down. It's not so bad. You're not that ugly... well, you are. I ain't gonna lie, you ARE ugly. But you only look like this at night, Shrek's ugly 24/7!
Well, you're kind of an ogre. And you and Shrek, well, you got a lot in common.
Shrek's hurt? Shrek's HURT? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?
Donkey, calm down! If you want to help Shrek, go into the forest and look for a blue flower with red thorns.
Blue flower, red thorns! Okay, I got it! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Don't die, Shrek, and if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!
(2002 TV Series)
Episode: Episode #11.2 (2008)
It was crashed by a plank who looks like Shrek!
Jeez, it's like Shrek's piss.
|9.||I Am Legend
I like Shrek.
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that.
Real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre! Arrr!"
Well, Shrek owns his own land. Right, honey?
Shrek! Stop it! Everything is going to be...
Look out, Shrek, he got a piece!
Oh, don't feel bad, Shrek. Almost everybody who meets you wants to kill you.
No, no, he's right - I'm sorry, to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona, but I can see now she already has it. Shrek, Fiona - will you accept an old frog's apologies, and my blessing?
Darling, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance - I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek...
Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!
I'm not flipping anywhere, Sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona.
Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting!
|11.||Shrek the Third
You! You can't lie! So tell me puppet... where... is... Shrek?
You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
You know, Shrek, you're all right. You just need to do a little less yelling, and use more soap.
Put me down Shrek!
Exactly. Now being Shrek risen from the dead, ain't a bad gag. So give me his phone and we'll call it quits.
What are you doing here in the forest with Shrek.
|15.||The Adventures of Pete & Pete
(1993 TV Series)
They shreked Shrek! And I just used a noun as a verb, what's wrong with me?
|16.||The Girls Next Door
(2005 TV Series)
Episode: Surely, You Joust! (2007)
Holly, you're the only one dressed like a Disney princess. I feel like I'm in Shrek 2.
|17.||Shrek the Halls
(2007 Short Film)
You go and have yourself a merry Christmas, Ebeneezer Shrek!
(2003 Short Film)
Uhhh, Shrek, I feel dead people.
(2010 Short Film)
Admit it, Shrek. Weren't you even a little bit scared?
Hey, guess what, Pinocchio, no one cares! Get ready to send these jokers home, Shrek, 'cause I've got a doozy, and it's all true! Ahem. It was a dark and stormy night...
|20.||Eyyvah eyvah 2
"Firuzan and Hüseyin were lost in forest" The phones have gone too. God damn you, Thracian Shrek!
What the hell's Shrek?
|21.||Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
(2003 TV Movie)
(2010 TV Series)
Episode: Shrek Forever After (2010)
Its sad to see a franchise that we once loved to end, yes, but in the case of Shrek, its for the best.
|23.||Shrek Forever After: The Game
(2010 Video Game)
I'm Shrek. I wanted my old, ogrely life back so bad, that I actually traded it for the day I was born. Ah ha ha!
|24.||Bob & Tom Radio: The Comedy Tour
(2006 TV Movie)
I have nothing! My God. Twenty-eight years old, and the only things I have are a George Foreman grill and a "Shrek 2" DVD.