39 titles.

1. Doctor Who (2005 TV Series)
Episode: The Unquiet Dead (2005)
"A Christmas Carol"?
Think about it, though. Christmas 1860. It happened once. Just once, and it's... gone, it's finished. It'll never happen again. Except for you. You can go back and see days that are dead and gone, a hundred thousand sunsets ago. No wonder you never stay still.
That's so weird... its Christmas.
But its like - think about it though. Christmas. 1860. Happens once - just once - and then its gone, its finished. It'll never happen again. Except for you. You can go back and see days that are dead and gone a hundred thousand sun sets ago. No wonder you never stay still.
2. Family Guy (1999 TV Series)
Christmas is the time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living and we sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.
It's OK, Meg. Your mom is full of Christmas cheer and enough tranquilizer to take down an elephant.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, shut the hell up.
Why don't you take Joe caroling?
Careful! You're washing a baby's scalp, not scrubbing the vomit out of a Christmas dress, you stupid holiday drunk.
You all think Christmas just happens. You think all this goodwill just falls from the freakin' sky. Well, it doesn't! It falls out of my holly jolly butt! So you can cook your own damn turkey. Wrap your own damn presents. And hey, while you're at it, you can all ride a one horse open sleigh to hell!
3. Family Guy (1999 TV Series)
Episode: A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas (2001)
As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living, so we all sing Christmas carols to lull Him back to sleep.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, shut the hell up!
You're really gonna take back donated gifts on Christmas Eve?
It'll be on next Christmas.
All right, all right, I'll kill your mother. God, when did Christmas become so complicated?
You're really going to take back donated gifts on Christmas Eve?
4. Star Trek: Voyager (1995 TV Series)
Episode: The Omega Directive (1998)
Daily log, Seven of Nine, Stardate 15781.2 - Today, Ensign Kim and I will conduct a comprehensive diagnostic of the aft sensor array. I have allocated 3 hours 20 minutes for the task, and an additional 17 minutes for Ensign Kim's usual conversational digressions. I am scheduled to take a nutritional supplement at 1500 hours, engage in one hour of cardiovascular activity. Then I intend to review a text the Doctor recommended, entitled 'A Christmas Carol'. He believes it will have educational value. End log.
5. Community (2009 TV Series)
Episode: Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas (2010)
We're in the carol canyon. The plants here give off Christmas carols instead of oxygen.
If I can find the meaning of Christmas, then things will go back to normal.
That's the meaning of Christmas?
The meaning of Christmas is that we give it meaning. To me, it used to mean being with my mom. Now, I guess it means being with you guys. Thanks, Lost.
Hey, this is not my fault. This is what Christmas does to people. We put too much meaning into it, and it lets us down.
Saving Christmas.
Everybody, point your magic Christmas weapons at him.
The delusion you're trying to cure is called Christmas, Duncan.
Christmas time is a time to sing. That's what Christmas is for.
Christmas can even be a hannukkah thing. That's what Christmas is for.
Music and cookies and liquor and trees. That's what Christmas is for.
Video games for two straight weeks. That's what Christmas is for.
That's what Christmas is...
That's what Christmas is... That's what Christmas is for!
6. Castle (2009 TV Series)
Episode: Knockdown (2011)
Every year around the holidays, they... they run that "Christmas Carol" on local TV. When I was a kid, I remember Jacob Marley scared the hell out of me. Forced to drag that... that chain around in the next world.
7. Castle (2009 TV Series)
Episode: Deep in Death (2009)
Ahh, they remake Fame and A Christmas Carol. Has Hollywood totally run out of ideas?
8. M*A*S*H (1972 TV Series)
Episode: Death Takes a Holiday (1980)
Christmas carols! I love'em. We gotta do some of that at the party tomorrow.
9. Boy Meets World (1993 TV Series)
Episode: Santa's Little Helper (1993)
Boy, where's his Christmas spirit? Where's his gratitude? I can name one sixth grader who wasn't paying attention to "A Christmas Carol."
What's up with the weasel? She locked herself in the bathroom and she's in there singing, "On the first day of Christmas I murdered Santa Claus"
Ah, Christmas. Season of togetherness. Season of brotherhood.
Season of wool. Nine out ten Christmas gifts? Wool. It doesn't matter if it's shaped like socks or a sweater, it's wool and it's itchy.
You know what I like most about Christmas?
10. Home Improvement (1991 TV Series)
Episode: 'Twas the Blight Before Christmas (1993)
The family is always together on Christmas. We hang our stockings together. We talk to relatives on the phone. You have your new saxophone so you can play along while we sing carols and I'm going to make nana's special oyster pecan stuffing.
That's our favorite Christmas carol. The Little Engine Boy. Vroom, vroom-vroom-vroom, vroom.
We're always together at Christmas, even that year your father fell down the chimney. We were together. We were in the emergency room but we were together.
It's also Christmas.
It's also Christmas.
You lied in church on Christmas Eve? Watch out for those lightning bolts. God doesn't like that stuff.
I remember my first Christmas rebellion: I was so mad. My parents went out and bought an artificial tree. The whole Christmas I refused to sing 'Oh, Tannenbaum'.
Christmas is not about being with people you like. It's about being with your family.
Dad, it's just one Christmas. I mean, it's not that big a deal.
That's a great vision for Christmas Eve: The four of us singing hymns, you with Brad in a headlock.
I think you've reached the apex of your Christmas decorating career.
11. Babylon 5 (1994 TV Series)
Episode: Moments of Transition (1997)
Marley to Scrooge. Dickens. A Christmas Carol.
12. Elf (2003)
Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol.
The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
Who sent this Christmas Gram?
What's a Christmas Gram? I want one!
Now what can I get you for Christmas?
I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.
Second, there are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show", that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.
It looks like a Christmas tree.
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.
Deb, you have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card!
13. Sanford and Son (1972 TV Series)
Episode: Ebenezer Sanford (1975)
You are Scrooge. This is just like that story, 'Christmas Carol'.
I have the feeling of Christmas!
14. L.A. Law (1986 TV Series)
Episode: Divorce with Extreme Prejudice (1987)
What a farce. All year long these lawyers treat us like schnauzers. And then once a year, they expect us to cheer up and sing Christmas carols.
15. Green Acres (1965 TV Series)
Episode: An Old-Fashioned Christmas (1966)
Gentlemen, I'm surprised at you. The American farmer didn't get where he is today by celebrating Christmas with phony trees and wax popcorn, plastic candy canes. Gentlemen, to the American farmer Christmas is real. He goes out with ax in hand, chops down his own tree, brings it back, garlands it with strings of popcorn from his own corn crib, makes cider from his own apple trees. And when the Christmas carols ring out in the still of the night, he looks up to the sky and he says, 'I'm proud to be an American farmer on Christmas.'
And then we'd play the Hungarian Christmas game called 'Smear the crackers with caviar.'
16. The Nostalgia Critic (2007 TV Series)
Episode: Thief and the Cobbler (2010)
Once upon a time, there was an animator named Richard Williams. He's said to be one of the great animation directors, having done the Chuck Jones-produced "Christmas Carol", that trippy "Raggedy Ann and Andy" film, and probably his biggest accomplishment, the animation for "Who Framed Roger Rabbit". Yet before all of that, he started production on "The Thief and the Cobbler" in 1964. It was released in 1993. What the hell happened all that time? Apparently the film was independently funded and Williams went on and on saying that this was going to be his masterpiece. Because of this, the film took years and years of perfecting and financing to finally get it finished. In fact, one of the actors died before the film even got released; Vincent Price recorded his dialogue over twenty years before it ever saw the light of day. And as of now, it continues to be the longest time it's ever taken to complete an animated picture. Because this turkey was taking so long, the film was bought by the Completion Bond Company and kicked Williams off the project, having it released by Miramax and putting together their own half-assed cut that is still considered to be the cum bucket of a dick-cock. This is that version. So let's see how this magnum opus went to magnum anus in "The Thief and the Cobbler"!
17. The Nostalgia Critic (2007 TV Series)
Episode: A Christmas Story 2 (2014)
I don't think Hitler could come back from the grave and get as many downvotes! If people say Christmas has gone commercial and lost its soul, this is the product to prove they're right. Because, yeah, thirty years later, we just demanded that the rest of the Christmas Story saga be told. We just couldn't sleep until that obvious cliffhanger ending was addressed. It just makes me realize how much Christmas has become glorifying, buying a bunch of bullshit that we don't actually need. What's next? "It's A Wonderful Life II"? "A Christmas Carol 2"? "The Star Wars Holiday Special 2"? When's it gonna end? I swear, this special is so bad that not only has it put me off of the original story, but it may have put me off of Christmas altogether!
Start off by finding the most classic and beloved Christmas treat you can imagine, and pour only a drop of it into your blender. Because even though it was perfect the way it was, we need to needlessly update it despite the fact that nobody asked us to.
It's weird, because the Santa here is a lot more mean than in the last one, but, of course, because this store seems anti-progress, they decide not to fire him and get a new one. This results in what I suppose is supposed to be Ralphie standing up for Christmas.
Even if that is the reason behind it, you're not supposed to be so lazily blatant about it. This is where "Christmas Story 2" comes in. Nowhere else will you find the needless, desperate, moneygrubbing whore element of Christmas than with the very idea of this film. It's such a horrible thought that even the trailer got probably the biggest amount of downvotes I've ever seen in awhile.
Well, I heard someone was trying to make "A Christmas Story 2" eggnog and I thought, well, I'd give it a whirl.
I was just trying to get you back into the Christmas spirit by making you like A Christmas Story again.
I love Christmas. I love A Christmas Story. It's YOU I can't stand. I swear, my life would be so much happier if you would just disappear from it.
She tried to make me appreciate Christmas.
Merry motherfucking Christmas, you cun...
This is Christmas Story 2.
Adoring Christmas, as you should be.
18. You Can't Do That on Television (1979 TV Series)
Episode: Christmas (????)
Your assignment was to give me a review of A Christmas Carol.
Well, that's right, and Silent Night's my favorite Christmas carol.
Not a Christmas carol, A Christmas Carol by, um, Charles Dickens.
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer Joins The A-Team will not be shown at this time. In its place we present another Christmas turkey.
That's it. I believe you. You... are... Santa Claus. And, you know, seeing as you left me just a pair of socks last Christmas... Amigos! Ready! Aim!...
Guys, last Christmas I asked Santa Claus for a winning team. What did I get?
It's driving Dougie crazy. He can't find his Christmas presents anywhere.
We're carolling.
Hey, Doug, what'd you get the coach for Christmas?
Um, Ross, thank you very much for the Christmas bonuses.
Whadda ya like most about Christmas? Is it the Christmas dinner or all the presents?
I got ya a Christmas present.
19. College Road Trip (2008)
I love Christmas carols, don't you? Just give me a chorus of 'Joy to the World' and I'm as mad as a hatter!
20. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story.
Well, because I know the story of A Christmas Carol like the back of my hand!
Let us see another Christmas in this place.
My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."
If I could work my will, every idiot who goes around with "a Merry Christmas" on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!
There was of course, another Christmas Eve with this young woman. Some years later.
Oh please... do not show me that Christmas.
It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve and Scrooge was conscious of a thousand odors, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten.
I can remember nearly 1900 years. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit. People preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities. One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money-lenders.
I do not make merry at Christmas...
I, I *will* honor Christmas, and try to keep it all the year! I will live my life in the past, the present and the future. I will not shut out the lessons the spirits have taught me! Tell me that I may sponge out the writing on this stone!
Belle, you know, I love these annual Christmas parties. I love 'em so much, I think we'll do it twice a year!
Tomorrow's Christmas, sir.
Uh, if you please Mr. Scrooge, half an hour off hardly seems customary for Christmas Day.
Oh, spirit, must there be a Christmas that brings this awful scene?
Uh, tomorrow's Christmas, sir.
21. A Christmas Kiss (2011 TV Movie)
His first edition of The Christmas Carol.
Christmas future arrives tomorrow.
22. The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show (1950 TV Series)
Episode: Christmas with Mamie Kelly (1951)
Dickens' Christmas Carol.
Oh Gracie, I've been looking for you all over! I've got Blanche's Christmas presents here, will you hide them for me?
Once upon a time, on a beautiful Christmas morning, Scrooge and Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim went for a walk in the woods while their breakfast was cooling. So, while they were gone, a dear little girl came and knocked on the door. And naturally, nobody answered so she went inside to see who it was, and...
23. Highway Patrol (1955 TV Series)
Episode: Christmas Story (1956)
One day before Christmas. But no carols were being sung at the Brentwood Motel. For Julie Spaeth was still missing, and so far only one clue had been found. A child's handkerchief, trimmed with fairy tale decorations and blood. The Patrol car took the handkerchief to the crime lab to be analyzed. At Highway Patrol headquarters, the missing girl's father was being held for questioning
Christmas time. The holiday season. A time of merry confusion and festive excitement, long shopping lines, and short tempers. Stores are crowded. Offices close early. Highways become congested with drivers on shopping sprees and families traveling to be with friends and relations. This Christmas, like any Christmas, the Highway Patrol went to extra lengths to curb traffic accidents and prevent holiday tragedies. But, unfortunately, all tragedies cannot be prevented with traffic controls.
24. 101 Dalmatians: The Series (1997 TV Series)
Episode: Shake, Rattle and Woof/Cadpig Behind Bars (1997)
Maybe not so crazy. Last year, three cats recorded an album of Christmas carols.
25. Christmas Carol: The Movie (2001)
That, ladies and gentlemen is the story of A Christmas Carol. Not quite the same one I wrote in the book, I admit. I hope you enjoyed it, none the less.
Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Snowman!
26. I'll Be Seeing You (1944)
See here, Henry, if you're in such good voice, how about a Christmas carol?
No, I'm on vacation. Christmas vacation.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
No, ma'am. I haven't felt so easy in a long time. This is the best Christmas dinner I ever had. Yesterday, I was a stranger here. I mean, I felt like a prisoner inside myself. Now, just to be in a home like this, with people like you, maybe someplace I can come back to next month, or next year...
Might have happened to any girl. Could have been just Christmas sentiment. Good night, Mary.
Well, I am. They gave me a ten day Christmas vacation.
Well, that's what the folks have always hoped, that she won't have to serve her full term now. But the fact that they let her out of prison for Christmas is a pretty good sign. You know, it wasn't until the other night, when she told me how it all happened, I realized that it really isn't her fault. She's not a criminal. I mean, not like real criminals. Oh, it's too bad that you two can't go back on the train together, but then Mary isn't due in Easton until nine o'clock tonight. She wants to spend as much time with us as she can. You can't blame her, after being locked up for three years.
27. Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special (2008 Documentary)
You go Christmas caroling?
Oh, yes. I love to Christmas carol.
José, what do you want for Christmas?
Dashing through the sand, / With a bomb strapped to my back, / I have a nasty plan / For Christmas in Iraq. / I got through Checkpoint A, / But not through checkpoint B. / That's when I got shot in the ass / By the U.S. military.
What I'd like to do is something that's been a tradition every Christmas Eve in my family for many years.
"'Twas the night before Christmas..."
When we're finished here, will you come caroling with me?
Remember, never use electric lights on a metallic Christmas tree.
Merry Christmas, infidels!
Your disguise is this Christmas hat?
No! Don't say "Christmas"! It's a holiday hat.
Why can't I say "Christmas"?
Jose, what does Christmas mean to you?
I didn't know your gardener was born on Christmas.
"'Twas the night before Christmas, / And all through the house..."
You know, I've been wanting to say this for a couple of years now: screw you, it's "Merry Christmas".
What the hell kind of father are you anyway? If I were you, I'd check his I.D., then taser his fat ass! And how fat is this guy anyway? Everyone's always leaving him plates full of cookies. I think he's a diabetic, too, don't you think? You gotta leave a plate full of insulin! How about that? I can't wait to hear the story next year: "The Night Before Christmas, Part Two: Santa's On Dialysis and He's Missing a Leg"! And all his little dollies have poliosis!
Merry Christmas! I kill you!
"'Merry Christmas to all! Oh, crap, I ran over your bike!'"
Ya know, I don't think Jose celebrates Christmas.
That means "Merry Christmas" in Spanish.
Peanut, how do we go from Christmas...
...to Angelina's boobs? I don't know, can you get them for Christmas for me, please? They would be my holiday hooters!
Good evening, José, and merry Christmas.
You know, we were talking about Christmas.
I love Christmas.
He said "Christmas".
Walter, what would it take to get you into the Christmas spirit?
Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas to one and all! Ho ho ho!
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house...
Nothing funnier than throwing in a couple of "holy shits" in the middle of "The Night Before Christmas", huh?
28. Christmas Town (2008 Video)
I love road trips. We can sing Christmas carols all the way.
You don't have any... Christmas spirit at all, do you?
29. Movie Nights (2010 TV Series)
Episode: Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special (2011)
Everyone gathers around to sing Christmas carols when... whoa, Santa just magics himself in in the middle of all this? What, kids can't see him, but for Pee-Wee, he makes a personal appearance? Well, excuse me, I didn't realize he was such a national treasure.
Hi, Lupa. I heard you were doing another Christmas special.
I sure am. Are you doing anything special for Christmas?
I was wondering if I could be in your Christmas special.
Wow, thanks. Did that save me some time on this Christmas special?
30. A Minute with Stan Hooper (2003 TV Series)
Episode: Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie (2003)
Ah, I love to sing Christmas carols. Do you think maybe I could join?
31. Phelous & the Movies (2008 TV Series)
Episode: A Phelousy Mario Christmas: Koopa Klaus & the Night Before Cave Christmas (2012)
WOW. Not even all the Christmas ghosts in all the 200 adaptations of A Christmas Carol combined could help you Toad, you miserable mushroom of hate!
More Christmas spirit arrives on the scene when Mario decides he sure does love being a lazy sack of shit and torturing his brother with a bad back, so he dictates to Luigi to pick up an ice block and launch it at King Koopa.
Well, it IS Christmas. Um, you okay, Princess?
This can't be happening. We'll never have Christmas again. I'll never get another present.
Look, the spirit of Christmas giving is touching everything.
Ah, Cave Christmas Eve. Just like back home in Brooklyn, huh, Luigi?
Well, I guess that's enough on that. Though I guess that does make sense as I believe Brooklyn has yet to celebrate "Cave Christmas."
And that's the two Super Mario Christmas episodes. I can't really hate either one of these, except for the Super Mario World one.
What's Christmas without presents?
Oh, you hooked up a sleigh to Yoshi, huh Mario? Real fucking cute. Couldn't just ride him this time 'cause its Christmas. Better make him haul extra weight. And you know, I can buy a dinosaur eating a blue shell or wings in order to grow some himself, but it still has to obey the laws of physics. That sleigh should be dangling off him. Suspension of disbelief... sustained, whatever.
32. Dennis Miller Live (1994 TV Series)
Episode: Neighbors (1998)
Neighborly relations can take on different forms. For example, in urban places like New York, you might not learn your neighbor's name until you read it on the bag he's being brought out in. Only in New York is "Shut the fuck up! Some of us work in the morning!" considered a Christmas carol.
33. Danville 2nd Ward Young Men (2008 TV Series)
Episode: The Amazing Race Birthday Party 2010 (2010)
Okay, so we need to to deliver a cart per person to a shopper in the parking lot,we need to go inside the store and write "Happy Birthday Rick!" on the chalk board. Entire team sing five Christmas carols outside of Trader Joe's. Alright?
34. A Claymation Christmas Celebration (1987 TV Special)
Thematically speaking, we will be looking at Christmas carols as they relate to specific traditions...
Yeah! Songs about Christmas trees, and stacks of gifts, reindeer, and jingling bells, holiday ballet, Santa Claus, universal joy, and Christ - mas snacks!
There is not a carol about snacks.
As making noise was also fun, bell-ringing ceremonies became a part of the spirit of Christmas.
Uh, next on our program is the exquisite "Carol of the Bells".
Herb, haven't you had enough Christmas goodies?
35. Animation Lookback (2009 TV Series)
Episode: DreamWorks Animation Part 4 (2010)
I hope you don't do this often Jim. I mean, this is the second time I mentioned that you missed an opportunity to do a voice in an animated film. Go do more than just Horton and almost everybody in A Christmas Carol.
36. Saturday Night Live: The Best of Steve Martin (1998 TV Special)
Okay. Author of A Christmas Carol.
37. The Christmas Carol (1949 Short Film)
There was a boy singing a Christmas carol last night, I should have liked to have given him something.
38. Trailer Failure (2009 TV Series)
Episode: A Christmas Carol, Spy Next Door and Wolfman (2009)
And it's time once again, boys and girls, for the snide recap! A Christmas Carol, bah humbug. Or, to update that phrase, ah, bullshit; The Spy Next Door needs to move further down the block; The Wolf Man has bark, but I'll bet that it will bite.
39. A Family Circus Christmas (1979 TV Movie)
His dad was your granddad. He loved Christmas. He used to sing Christmas carols and tell funny stories about Santa and his elves and make everyone laugh. Your father misses him, especially now, at Christmas.
Let's invite him for Christmas!
You know what I asked Santa for to give Daddy for Christmas?
No, I asked him to invite Granddad down from Heaven to be with us for Christmas.
39 titles.