(2003 TV Series)
Episode: Dead and Unburied (2006)
McGee and I watched the sunrise together. It was very Brokeback Mountain.
(2009 TV Series)
Episode: Blame It on the Alcohol (2011)
I sat through that whole Brokeback Mountain. From what I gather, something went down in the tent.
Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy, fuckin' all. So I hope you know that, even if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.
He always said he wanted his ashes scattered on Brokeback Mountain, but I wasn't sure where that was. I thought Brokeback Mountain might be around where he grew up. Knowing Jack, it was probably some pretend place, where bluebirds sing and there's a whiskey spring...
Brokeback got us good, don't it?
|4.||In the Loop
How far would you go with Linton, you freaky little stalker? Downtown? Or all the way up Brokeback Mountain?
"Climbing the mountain of conflict"? You sounded like a Nazi Julie Andrews!
|5.||Man of the Year
There's one other person I've thrown my underwear at: Captain Kangaroo. I was five years old, and a *big* fan of Mister Green Jeans. What can I say? Those guys were their generation's answer to BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.
|6.||The 85th Annual Academy Awards
(2013 TV Special)
We saw your boobs // We saw your boobs / We saw your boobs / In the movie that we saw, we saw your boobs. // Meryl Streep, we saw your boobs in "Silkwood" / Naomi Watts' in "Mulholland Drive" / Angelina Jolie, we saw your boobs in "Gia" / They made us feel excited and alive. // Anne Hathaway, we saw your boobs in "Brokeback Mountain" / Halle Berry, we saw them in "Monster's Ball" / Nicole Kidman in "Eyes Wide Shut" / Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler," but / We haven't seen Jennifer Lawrence's boobs at all. // We saw your boobs / We saw your boobs / In the movie that we saw, we saw your boobs. // Kristen Stewart, we saw your boobs in "On the Road" / And in "Monster" we saw Charlize Theron's / Helen Hunt, we saw them in "The Sessions" / And Scarlett Johansson, we saw them on our phones. // Jessica Chastain, we saw your boobs in "Lawless" / Jodie Foster in "The Accused" / Hilary Swank in "Boys Don't Cry" / Penelope Cruz in "Vanilla Sky." // And Kate Winslet in "Heavenly Creatures" and "Jude" / And "Hamlet" and "Titanic" / And "Iris" and "Little Children" / And "The Reader / And whatever you're shooting right now. // We saw your boobs / We saw your boobs. Here's to the losers // Here's to all the losing works of art from "Lincoln" to "Amour", / To the disappointed actors wondering what they dressed up for. / Now the real performance starts with phony smiles at the ball. / Here's to the losers, God bless them all. // Here's to nominee Quvenzhané, lift up that little head. / You'll be at the future Oscars when the rest of us are dead. / You have all Tom Cruise's talent and you're equally as tall. / Here's to the losers, God bless them all. // Oh poor Bradley Cooper, get your chin off the floor. / Here's your silver lining: You'll do "Hangover 4"! // Amy Adams, Jackie Weaver, Sally Field and Helen Hunt / Have to wait to smooch their Oscar, but you think that girl's adorable. / Time to pour a glass of 92 and curl up in a ball. / Here's to the losers, God bless them all. // Hey Seth, it's OK. All that movies will still be remembered forever. - / Oh yeah? What movies lost to "Chicago"? - Oh look, it's time to sing again! // Here's to Seth MacFarlane,
Thank you. Thank you so much. Mr. De Niro, Mr. Arkin, Mr. Hoffman and Mr. Jones: my respect. My unlimited gratitude goes to "Dr. King Schultz." That is, of course, to his creator and the creator of his awe-inspiring world - Quentin Tarantino. And I thank Jamie Foxx and Leo DiCaprio, Sam Jackson and Kerry Washington. I thank Harvey Weinstein and Amy Pascal, Stacey Sher, Reginald Hudlin and Pilar Savone. I thank Adam Schweitzer, Lisa Kasteler. And I thank my friends Jeff Dashnaw and Bill Clark who saved my neck. We participated in a hero's journey - the hero here being Quentin. And you scaled the mountain because you're not afraid of it. You slay the dragon because you're not afraid of it. And you cross through fire because it's worth it. I borrowed my character's words. Sorry; couldn't resist. Thank you.
|7.||Farce of the Penguins
Now get your head out of my ass, you 'Brokeback Mountain' bitch.
|8.||Big Money Rustlas
Drop your guns, you Brokeback-Mountain sissies!
(2006 Short Film)
Hello, I'm Richard Roeper. Now, normally Roger Ebert would be sitting across the aisle from me. *But* when he heard that Richard Christy's naked ass and Sal's *dangling scrotum* would be featured in this film, he became violently ill and I haven't seen him since. All I can say to everybody involved with this movie is "What the fuck were you thinking?". I've seen better special effects in a pre-school Hanukkah pageant. I've seen better acting from corpses. And I am never gonna recover from the sight of all that flabby, white, cottage cheese man-flesh. Now, in a movie filled with bad acting, with the exception of Artie Lange's scene-stealing performance as a crabby plumber, the grotesquely ugly High Pitch Eric gives the worst performance in the history of motion pictures. It is impossible to understand a single word this guy says. But you know what? Maybe that's a blessing. Now, there are a lot of gay movies this year. From "Rent" to "Breakfast on Pluto" to "Brokeback Mountain". The actors in those films are actually straight guys playing homosexuals. After watching "Supertwink", there's no doubt in my mind that Sal and Richard are deeply gay and this project was just an excuse for them to express their gay man-love for one another. I hope they'll be very happy together. For "Howard Stern On Demand", I'm Richard Roeper.
|10.||Lewis Black: Red, White and Screwed
"Equestrian," by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought "Brokeback Mountain" should have been called "Two Equestrians."