End of Days (1999)

reviewed by
Christopher Null

                               END OF DAYS
                    A film review by Christopher Null
                     Copyright 1999 Christopher Null

Here it is, November of 1999, and I thought we weren't going to get a good end-of-the-world, Satan-conquers-all apocalypse movie (DOGMA doesn't count). Whew! END OF DAYS arrives just in time (no pun intended) to quench that Linda Blair thirst.

If you know the basic plot of END OF DAYS (`Satan visits New York in search of a bride') the question you'll be asking isn't, `Is this a bad movie?' Rather, it will probably be, `How bad can it be?'

Pretty bad. But for camp value, you aren't going to find a better bang for the buck than END OF DAYS. Imagine audiences rolling in the aisles, talking back to the screen, cracking jokes: You aren't far from reality.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose last bad movie was BATMAN & ROBIN, really tries to show off his recent acting lessons as a deeply troubled security guard (inexplicably hired to guard the invulnerable devil himself). Sidekick Pollack serves up the comic relief, and Robin Tunney is proving herself to be a solid Designated Emotionally Scarred Damsel in Distress in all manner of films, working here as the bride-to-be of good old Lucifer.

Gabriel Byrne makes as bad (and by that, I mean good -- I think) a Satan as you're likely to see on film, but it's the groaner of a story line that will really grab you. To wit: Arnold's ex-cop does some offhanded detective work that would put Sherlock Holmes to shame. His hunches are so uncanny... it's almost like... *he's working from a script!* The religious backstory, featuring Rod Steiger as a Catholic priest, is so hokey you'll get dizzy from rolling your eyes. The Y2K stuff is predictable and, of course, played to the hilt.

I'm not predicting any Oscars, but I have to say this is one bad movie that's at least worth one of its two hours on comedic value alone. Just remember to say your prayers, kids.

RATING:  **1/2
 \ ***** Perfection             \
  \ **** Good, memorable film    \
   \ *** Average, hits and misses \
    \ ** Sub-par on many levels    \
     \ * Unquestionably awful       \
MPAA Rating: R

Director: Peter Hyams Producer: Armyan Bernstein, Bill Borden Writer: Andrew W. Marlowe Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Kevin Pollak, Renee Olstead, Matt Gallini, Linda Pine, Rod Steiger, Miriam Margolyes


--- Christopher Null - null@filmcritic.com - http://www.filmcritic.com Check out G-Rex.com Personal Shopper at http://www.g-rex.com

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