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retro trailer: ‘The Last Unicorn’
8 hours ago
Man, fantasy animation has moved on a bit since 1982, has it not? Voice acting, too. Dear oh dear, but the dialogue is cringeworthy today, isn’t it? Alan Arkin as the second-rate pickpocket might be the most awkward, but Jeff Bridges is a close second with that line about heroes. Gotta love those on-the-nose lyrics, too: “Look and see her, how she sparkles, she’s the last unicorn!” Still, we are all precious unicorns, aren’t we? I predict that in 2982, someone will make a fantasy movie called The Last Polar Bear... The Last Unicorn is available on DVD in Region 1 and Region 2. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
question of the weekend: What book are you reading right now, and what’s up next?
21 November 2009 8:15 AM, PST
I’ve always got piles of books around me: books to read, books I’ve read and mean to write about at MaryAnnJohanson.com (and never seem to find the time to do so), books I feel like I should read but keep getting shifted to the bottom of the pile. I’ve also sometimes got more than one book in progress. I started reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies [Amazon U.S.] [Amazon U.K.], but it’s actually kind of dull, not terribly well written, and nowhere near as clever as it could be, so I sorta gave up on it, though it’s still sitting splayed open nearby, and every once in a while I pick it up and read a few more pages before I remember why I didn’t read it all right through in one rush; I’ll probably finish it eventually. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
November 20: DVD alternatives to this weekend’s multiplex offerings
20 November 2009 2:12 PM, PST
We know how it is: You’d like to go to the movies this weekend, but there’s all that sighing and sulking and brooding over your immortal undead lover to do, and that’s just exhausting. But you can have a multiplex-like experience at home with a collection of the right DVDs. And when someone asks you on Monday, “Hey, did you see New Moon this weekend?” you can reply, “No, I watched some vampire and werewolf movies that don’t suck instead.” Instead Of: The Twilight Saga: New Moon, in which -- Omg! -- adorable clumsy beautiful humble human Bella has to choose between her love for sparkly mopey vampire Edward and her attraction to buff buff werewolf Jacob... Watch: A real vampire movie... like 2000’s Shadow of the Vampire, a sly sendup of bloodsuckers and moviemaking; its premise is along the lines of: What would happen if »
- MaryAnn Johanson
U.K. box office: ‘2012’ opens big
20 November 2009 1:48 PM, PST
Just as in North America, 2012 opened huge in the U.K. last weekend, enjoying one of the biggest debuts of the year (though not the biggest). It helped bust the downturn the U.K. box office has been seeing of late: business was up 37 percent over the same weekend last year. And Disney has gotta be happy to see that A Christmas Carol took a giant leap: up 31 percent? That’s just crazy. Last weekend’s second-week drop of only 26 percent in North America was pretty astonishing, considering that the film opened only middling well. This one could hold on stronger than it was looking at first (though this weekend in North America is faces new competition from the kiddie-oriented Planet 51). Up, too, continues to hold very strong in its sixth week in the U.K. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
trailer break: ‘Red Cliff’
20 November 2009 8:42 AM, PST
Totally awesome. I so fell in love with Takeshi Kaneshiro in House of Flying Daggers, and he’s just as enticing here as a sort of Jedi warrior. Plus, there’s some cool battles and shit. Red Cliff opens in the U.S. today; it played in U.K. theaters this summer and is now available on Region 2 DVD in 142-minute and 174-minute versions. (The Chinese-language original is reportedly five hours in length.) »
- MaryAnn Johanson
Planet 51 (review)
20 November 2009 7:13 AM, PST
We have no idea why it’s called Planet 51, or why the pleasantly blobby green humanoid aliens wear no trousers -- jackets and ties or T-shirts for the males, and of course the ladies wear skirts (and have feet shaped like high heels, like Barbie!). We have no idea how cultural convergence allows them to speak English -- except for the proper names, which all sound like “Vernkot” and “Glipforg” -- or to be having their 1950s, complete with malt shops and alien invasion movies, just as a human from Earth arrives among them to terrorize them. It’s not supposed to matter, I suppose. It’s just a kids movie, we’re meant to understand. And it doesn’t matter, I guess. Because Planet 51 isn’t really interested in saying much to its audience, whoever that audience turns out to be. As usual with movies like this, »
- MaryAnn Johanson
question of the day: Will you watch ‘Lost’ when it returns in February?
20 November 2009 5:17 AM, PST
The beginning of the beginning of the end for Lost, um, began yesterday with the announcement of the debut date for the final season: February 2, 2010. As Michael Ausiello at EW’s The Ausiello Files notes, 02022010 does sound like another puzzle number the show’s gonna throw at us. He goes on to name those characters who will get top billing in the final season, according to ABC: Naveen Andrews (Sayid), Nestor Carbonell (Richard), Emilie de Ravin (Claire), Michael Emerson (Ben), Jeff Fahey (Frank) Matthew Fox (Jack), Jorge Garcia (Hurley), Josh Holloway (Sawyer), Daniel Dae Kim (Jin), Yunjin Kim (Sun), Ken Leung (Miles), Evangeline Lilly (Kate), Terry O’Quinn (Locke), and Zuleikha Robinson (Ilana) »
- MaryAnn Johanson
win ‘Farscape: The Complete Series’ Region 1 DVD box set
19 November 2009 12:02 PM, PST
Win:‘Farscape: The Complete Series, a 26-disc box set containing all 88 episodes from all four seasons, plus 15 hours of bonus features How: write a funny caption for an image from the show The Rules: If you have a United States mailing address, you’re eligible to win. (Yes, even if you’ve already won something else from me in 2009.) If you’re outside the U.S. but you’re moved by the muse of comedy, feel free to send me a caption anyway -- you might get an honorable mention... but let me know you're entering only for fun. Oh, two more simple rules: 1) Be clever, be original, make me giggle. 2) One entry per person. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
giveaway: ‘The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus 16-Ton Megaset’ and ‘Monty Python: The Other British Invasion’ Region 1 DVDs
19 November 2009 11:45 AM, PST
Rules: You’re eligible to win if 1) You have not won anything from me in 2009; 2) You have a U.S. mailing address; 3) You enter once and only once. In honor of the 40th anniversary of the very silly comic troupe, Monty Python: The Other British Invasion was recently released on Region 1 DVD -- it’s two discs of rare vintage footage and new interviews celebrating the wit and legacy of Python. The Complete Monty Python’s Flying Circus 16-Ton Megaset -- 16 discs containing every single moment of the classic sketch comedy show -- has been available on Region 1 DVD for a while, but is worth another look on this big anniversary. I’ve got Region 1 DVD copies of both of them to give away, courtesy of A&E Home Entertainment. Enter by using this link to send your name and U.S. mailing address. (Check out the Silly Walks Generator. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (review)
19 November 2009 10:19 AM, PST
Bella Cullen. Mrs. Edward Cullen. Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. Ms. Bella Cullen. Mrs. Jacob Black. Jacob and Bella Black. Mrs. Bella Black. Ms. Bella Swan Black. Mrs. Bella Swan Cullen. There came a point in this mind-numbing, butt-numbing -- its running time is over two hours, but feels more like two days -- ramble through unironic adolescent sexual terror when a band of buff, shirtless Indian lads is wandering through a misty wood in search of trouble. A smart director might have figured out some way to make this feel elemental and mythic, considering that the lads are werewolves shifted back into human form and Our Heroine, Bella Swan, is the innocent Red Riding Hood who’s running afoul of them. All the elements are there -- they just need a touch of cleverness and wit to froth them up into something vaguely interesting. But Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass, »
- MaryAnn Johanson
trailer break: ‘Me and Orson Welles’
19 November 2009 8:34 AM, PST
I can’t help it: the title Me and Orson Welles makes me think of that scene in Ed Wood when Johnny Depp’s Wood corners Vincent D’Onofrio’s Welles and they talk about movies. Wow: Richard Linklater made a movie with Zac Efron. I would have thought that if Slacker met High School Musical, teen cinema would collapse into a black hole, or something equally bad and unlikely would happen... Me and Orson Welles opens in the U.S. on November 25, and in the U.K. on December 4. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
question of the day: Does knowledge about the nutritional content of movie snacks impact your snacking?
19 November 2009 6:36 AM, PST
The Center for Science in the Public Interest released a new study yesterday on the calorie and fat content of popular movie snacks. The upshot: It's hard to picture someone mindlessly ingesting three McDonald's Quarter Pounders with 12 pats of butter while watching a movie. But according to new laboratory analyses commissioned by the nonprofit Center for Science in the Public Interest, that food is nutritionally comparable to what you’d find in a medium popcorn and soda combo at Regal, the country’s biggest movie theater chain: 1,610 calories and three days’ worth -- 60 grams -- of saturated fat. (Nutrition aside, that combo costs $12 for raw ingredients that must cost Regal pennies.) It’s too bad that Cspi put that last bit in parenthesis, because that’s the real story: these snacks are chemically designed to be irresistible (to some) and sold at huge markups because that’s how the multiplexes stay in business. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
watch it: “7 Lessons Guys Can Learn From Edward Cullen (Part 1 of 2)”
18 November 2009 2:38 PM, PST
This is not embeddable, but I couldn’t not feature it, so please go check it out at YouTube, and then come back. ... Okay, you watched it? Did you watch Part 2? You’re back? Good. Now, I was so excited to come across these videos, because I was all ready to rip them to shreds. And I was astonished to find that I couldn’t do that. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
North American box office: not the end of the world for ‘2012’
18 November 2009 1:08 PM, PST
Yeah yeah yeah, the big-budget CGI disaster flick du jour made a small fortune this weekend -- we knew it would. We knew it didn’t even matter whether it was any good, storywise -- which it isn’t -- as long as the FX were convincing. Which they are. $19,165 at each of 3,404 locations. Even with a reported budget of $200 million, there’s no doubt that 2012 will earn that back. In fact, it already has: the film opened worldwide last week (a necessity in the age of rampant piracy), and it took in $225 million across the planet it destroyed. Everything’s cool. But look at this: Precious is the No. 3 movie across the U.S. and Canada this weekend, and it’s playing at only 174 locations... which most likely means actually just 174 screens, while 2012 will have been on multiple screens (7:00, 7:15, 7:30, 7:45, 8:00, etc) at each of its locations. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
caption this! image from ‘The Princess and the Frog’
18 November 2009 12:00 PM, PST
Fun for Wednesdays! We look at an image from an upcoming movie or TV show and write snarky, witty, or otherwise entertaining captions for it. No prizes, it’s just for fun. Makes me want to sing, “There must be more than this pro-vin-cial frog!”: Disney tells us about the film: Walt Disney Animation Studios serves up a joyous gumbo of adventurous storytelling, captivating characters, offbeat comedy and memorable music in the all-new feature “The Princess And The Frog,” an animated comedy set in the great city of New Orleans. From the creators of “The Little Mermaid” and “Aladdin” comes a modern twist on a classic tale, featuring a beautiful girl named Tiana (Anika Noni Rose), a frog prince who desperately wants to be human again, and a fateful kiss that leads them both on a hilarious adventure through the mystical bayous of Louisiana. “The Princess And The Frog »
- MaryAnn Johanson
Fantastic Mr. Fox (review)
18 November 2009 11:25 AM, PST
So I did something with Fantastic Mr. Fox that I’ve never done before in my 12-plus years reviewing movies. I wasn’t concerned that I hadn’t read the book before I saw the film, as I never am, because movies based on books have to stand on their own. And while it’s probably inevitable that I will see a film differently depending on whether I have read the book beforehand, I certainly don’t feel an obligation to read the book first because I don’t believe I must be able to compare and contrast. (Not that I particularly avoid a book, either, before seeing a movie: I read Cormac McCarthy’s The Road immediately before seeing it, and now I’m reading Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones in preparation for Peter Jackson’s movie. But only because I want to, not because I think I have to. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
trailer break: ‘Brothers’
18 November 2009 10:47 AM, PST
Ugh. This looks like it tells us the whole movie in two and a half minutes. I hope that’s not the case, and that it spins off into some direction we’re not expecting. Because with this cast -- Natalie Portman, Tobey Maguire, and Jake Gyllenhaal, oh my! -- and director Jim Sheridan, I really, really want to like it, and expect to like it. And I may still like it even if this trailer really has spoiled the whole thing. But why do they have to do that to us? Why make it so hard to go into the movie with no preconceived expectations? I understand most moviegoers need some sense of what a movie is about in order to decide whether or not they want to see it, but there’s no reason to take it too far. This is based on the 2005 Danish film of the same name, »
- MaryAnn Johanson
question of the day: What is your best reason to see ‘Twilight: New Moon’ (or not to see it)?
18 November 2009 7:15 AM, PST
Cinematical yesterday posted “The Top Five Reasons to See Twilight: New Moon,” which includes: Michael Sheen. Speaking of the Volturi, Michael Sheen plays their leader. Sheen's been around for years, and is certainly no stranger to performing in broad-appeal films, but his recent starring roles in Frost/Nixon and The Queen have made him one of my favorite character actors, making it a comfort to know that he's in the cast. Sometimes a great actor in a small, but good role can go a long way. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
trailer break: David Tennant’s ‘Hamlet’ on the BBC
17 November 2009 10:17 AM, PST
I can’t wait to see this again, though I don’t imagine it can possibly capture the energy and the immediacy it had on stage. I hope it comes close. For those just tuning in, I saw this production in Stratford-upon-Avon last year, and loved it; my review is here. (via Blogtor Who, and thanks to reader Lisa for pointing it out to me) Hamlet debuts in the U.K. on BBC Two on Christmas Day; it will air in the U.S. on PBS sometime in 2010. The Region 2Dvd will be released on January 4, 2010, and is available to preorder; no Region 1 DVD has been announced. »
- MaryAnn Johanson
the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘ThanksKilling’
17 November 2009 5:37 AM, PST
Finally! Somone made the Thanksgiving horror film we’ve all been waiting for... An evil turkey is unleashed…and he’s one “fowl” mouthed bastard! Five college kids heading home for Thanksgiving break cross paths with the turkey, who’s possessed by an ancient Indian curse. In this hilariously gory spoof, the teens must stop the maniac bird before he kills them all! That’s from the official Web site. At the flick’s Amazon page, one of the producers writes: »
- MaryAnn Johanson
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