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Red Dawn (2012)

18 November 2012 3:41 PM, PST

Directed by: Dan Bradley

Written by: Carl Ellsworth, Jeremy Passmore

Featuring: Chris Hemsworth, Isabel Lucas, Josh Hutcherson

Warning: This review contains massive spoilers. Seriously. It will tell you that key characters in the film die (although the author doesn’t really remember their names).

That’s not entirely true. In all honesty, he didn’t catch all the names because the names were apparently not as important as throwing multiple characters at the audience at once. Clearly, the best way for any audience to determine a character’s name is to have other characters yell their name multiple times while they’re in danger. Then you know that character is important. Or about to die.

I barely remember seeing Red Dawn as a kid in the '80s. With the release of the remake on the horizon, I watched the first one again prior to seeing the new version. Although the original’s Soviets, »

- James Morgart

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Have You Heard 'The Legend of the Red Reaper'?

16 November 2012 9:38 AM, PST

When last seen around these parts, fiery haired actress Tara Cardinal was doing her superhero thang alongside Lou Ferrigno in Liberator. But now she's going back in time for a whole different brand of heroics in The Legend of the Red Reaper...and guess what — she's bringing Uwe Boll along for the ride!

Written and directed by Kristen Barron Stewart, Red Reaper is an action-packed tale filled with witches, demons, war and romance — in other words, everything that makes the world of fantasy go round.

Cardinal stars as the titular Reaper, a warrior born of a witch and destined to save mankind from the return of the exiled demon horde. (No, not the Tea Party. That battle has already been fought and won.) Also appearing are David Mackey, Eliza Swenson, Christian Boeving, Shayne Leighton and Troma founder, eminent bon vivant and madman Lloyd Kaufman.

Red Reaper has been Cardinal's passion project for years. »

- Theron

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Monstro (2012)

15 November 2012 1:50 PM, PST

Written and directed by: Stuart Simpson

Featuring: Nelli Scarlet, Kyrie Capri, Karlie Madden, Kate Watts, Norman Yemm

The opening minutes of Aussie writer/director Stuart Simpson’s Monstro (a.k.a. El Monstro Del Mar) are great fun. Three tough broads in Russ Meyer guise — Baretta (a solid Nelli Scarlet), Snowball (Kate Watts) and Blondie (Karli Madden) — are having car trouble. Stranded on the side of the road, these tatted-up tarts sweat in the heat while they wait for help to arrive. They turn on the radio, prompting Blondie to hop up and dance on the hood of the car. Soon, two sketchy townies see the sexy trio and pull over to assist them. Through a series of tight compositions and little dialogue, an intriguing tension plays out. Will the women join these men for a “swim” after the car is fixed? Or do they have other plans?

When it »

- Bradley Harding

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