17 April 2014 6:25 AM, PDT | Vulture | See recent Vulture news »

Oh, you guys. Now that Malaya is gone, the scales have fallen from my eyes. I am getting a good look at American Idol Season 13, and I am seeing it for what it is. And what it is is a colossal, exasperating waste of time, which is also what it probably has been for years, and which I’ve probably called it before, but this time I mean it. This season is a disaster, and all I want is for Ryan to come out and announce that we’re starting over from the beginning. I want it to be like when Dallas had dead Patrick Duffy alive and well in the shower, and Victoria Principal realizing that the whole previous season had been a dream, a terrible, terrible dream. Anything less is a dereliction of duty. Want to get into it? Great! Me either. Tonight’s theme is “Competitors Pick, »

- Dave Holmes

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