26 February 2014 8:21 AM, PST | Variety - Film News | See recent Variety - Film News news »

Tarzan wears his trademark loincloth while the actor playing him sports a full-body motion-capture suit in Constantin Film’s clunky-looking riff on the Edgar Rice Burroughs character, which gives literature’s most organic hero a robotic, pre-“Polar Express” appearance. Targeted at a generation raised on CGI and the idea that men don’t grow body hair, this English-language reboot gambles on big B-movie setpieces, hoping the spectacle will disguise shortcuts taken in the design department. “Tarzan” is an eyesore for anyone above the age of 10 — literally, for those opting to see it in badly miscalibrated 3D — and will lean on heavy marketing for modest returns as it swings through various international territories.

In several of Europe’s larger megaplexes, one can presently find 7-foot fiberglass Tarzan standees — broad, muscular shoulders tapering down to a narrow girlish waist atop a pair of delicate long legs — posted like mannequins for the latest in jungle-ready underpants. »


- Peter Debruge

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