12 April 2013 6:12 PM, PDT | Movies.com | See recent Movies.com news »

The following is 100% spoiler. Like it matters. Busted, dead-eyed Lindsay Lohan makes a clothes-on sex tape with Charlie Sheen and body doubles spin around in the air and then a Morgan Freeman narration impersonator goes yap yap yap yap yap and then Snoop Lion and Mac Miller walk to a cabin in the woods and enjoy an amiable chat about how it burns when they get shampoo in their respective “pee holes” before then launching into an extended conversation about the cabin in the woods and how much it’s like the cabin in the woods from the horror movie about the cabin in the woods and then they roll a huge canoe-sized blunt and then Ashley Tisdale and Simon Rex are the people from Mama and they punch a toddler in the face and set a baby on fire and one of the feral...

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- Dave White

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