"American Idol" Recap: I Want to Hold Lazaro's Hand

Wuh-oh. Looks like a few of our favorite could-be-homosexuals tripped in their character shoes this week.

The catalog of Lennon and McCartney provides ample opportunity for Idol singers to prove they can do artistic things like warble the lyrics to "Come Together" with a straight face or care about the plight of Father McKenzie. Please! Paul Jolley don't have time for that! He's too busy "woodshedding" with my boy Devin, hopefully.

How did the kids do this week? Let's rank the rubber-souled scamps from #9 to #1. 

9. Lazaro Arbos, "In My Life"

Well, my prophecy is coming true: The worse Lazaro does, the more gorgeous he gets. And this week he was absolutely terrible/stunning! Wearing a primary yellow blazer that Samantha Jones might bring to a business-casual orgy, Lazaro took to the stage with those trembling, all-too-wet pupils and basically murmur-whispered "In My Life" in a funereal drone. That might be
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