6 March 2013 3:54 AM, PST | The Backlot | See recent The Backlot news »

Ten more dames. Ten more billiards lounge renditions of songs that your great-grandmother can safely die to. And about four or five that ruled. Let's rank 'em! 

10. Zoanette Johnson, Tina Tuner's "What's Love Got to Do With It?"

Well, here's the good news: Now Lil Rounds can claim her rendition of "What's Love Got to Do With It?" from season eight isn't the single worst version in Idol history. Zoanette is truly a mesmerizing, popcorn-worthy spectacle deserving of P.T. Barnum's time, but you knew she'd fall apart the minute actual singing was required of her. Mariah can claim that her take on "The Circle of Life" worked because of "her backstory" (uh, in Liberia? That's why Zoanette's a natural at crooning about lion birth?), but it was really thanks to the instrumentation's campy grandeur, which tonally matched Zoanette's Wendy Williams-meets-Pagliacci hissy-fit theater. I appreciate that she thrusted about »

- virtel

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