American Idol Recap: It Moves Us All, Through Despair and Hope [Updated]

American Idol Recap: It Moves Us All, Through Despair and Hope [Updated]
Cue your local locust swarm and saddle up the proverbial four horses, American Idol fans: The end times are definitely nigh!

How else to explain Zoanette Johnson being named by the show’s rebooted judges’ panel as one of the 10 most promising unsigned female singers in the country? Yes, Zoanette Johnson, the same chick whose tattered, Season 12 audition cover of “The Star Spangled Banner” caused Keith Urban to literally fall out of his chair — and was punctuated by an alarming booty drop.

Honestly, is it time to put down the remote control and pick up the Book of Revelations? Or
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