21 February 2013 7:05 PM, PST | TVLine.com | See recent TVLine.com news »

If American Idol wanted to find its Season 12 winner via personal ad, the copy would probably read something like this:

Top-rated Reality Show Iso Big-voiced Diva | Been dreaming for six years now about discovering America’s next great female artist — though not the “current” type that looks and sounds like she spontaneously sprouted from the dark, moist corner of a dumpster. (Sorry, wannabe Ke$has!) Turn-ons include girl-next-door charm, working-class backstories and the ability to crush a glory note like The Rock slamming his fist down on an empty Diet Coke can. Turn-offs include pale-skinned males who’ve ever plucked a guitar, »


- Michael Slezak

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