Feature James Clayton Feb 15, 2013
As the Academy Awards come round again, James introduces a few new Oscar categories of his own...
The red carpets have been laid down. The suits and frocks are tailored and vacu-wrapped ready for the spotlight. The champagne is on ice. It’s awards season, folks, and the stage is set for a ceremony of glitz, glamour and gong-grabbing glory. Smiles! Flash bulbs! Stars sweeping by! String orchestras playing in a major key! Razzle-dazzle showtime! (Applause!)
The slow stream of dramatic video montages punctuated by badly-delivered autocue announcements start to wash over everyone and it all seems to be safe and standard. Suddenly: Bang! Finally inspired to action by an especially awful Seth MacFarlane joke - “Well, if Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway win tonight, they’ll be ‘Less Misérables’!” (Laughter!) - Bane enters stage left.
“Let the games begin!” he mumbles before lurching forward to »
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