12 February 2013 1:20 PM, PST | NextMovie | See recent NextMovie news »

It's time to face reality: It's Nicholas Sparks' world. We just live in it.

Really, the prolific romance author plays us like goddamn puppets. The author has seen eight of his novels adapted for the screen, to stunningly successful results. "The Notebook" makes our romantic lives pale in comparison, and the devotion between Mandy Moore and Shane West in "A Walk to Remember" is swoon-worthy. Let's not even get started on "Dear John" — it's enough to make a girl want to invest in personalized stationery.

Since there's not even a point to these movies other than romance, let's get to business: Which of these gentlemanly characters would we most like to take home to our dewy-eyed mothers, which would we hit and quit, and which would we just, well...hit? Yes, it's time for Eff, Marry, Kill: Nicholas Sparks Edition.

We called upon our wise editor friends at Huffington »

- Kase Wickman

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