7 January 2013 11:00 AM, PST | NextMovie | See recent NextMovie news »

I don't like watching scary movies, because they scare me. The last scary movie I saw in theaters was "The Ring," during which I pretended to receive an inordinate amount of urgent text messages to divert my attention from the movie to my phone. "Ugh, another text message? (laughs in disbelief, shakes head) But I'm trying to watch this movie!" In reality, I received exactly zero text messages during the film.

Still, scary movies intrigue me, even if I want no part in actually viewing any of them. And so whenever a movie comes out that looks at all scary, I wait until the premiere date, when I make some popcorn, turn off all the lights ... and read the newly-uploaded plot summary on Wikipedia. Then I congratulate myself on a job well done. Some might call me a certain dysphemism for the female reproductive organ; to you, I say, that's »

- Nick Blake

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