30 November 2012 4:00 PM, PST | The Guardian - TV News | See recent The Guardian - TV News news »

Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty have opened a new cafe with a staggeringly bizarre menu

"We're going to fight the French with our cheese," chuckles Jamie Oliver, cheerily wielding a wheel of cheddar. "Why? Because good food is worth fighting for!" Jimmy Doherty agrees. "Most French people wouldn't be seen dead eating our cheese – we want to change that," he guffaws, over footage of clashing baguettes, a soldier shooting stilton on a beach, a pantomime cow sprinting past a branch of Accessorize and Alan Carr laughing in a pink linen jacket.

Without recourse to pie charts, animal noises or words of more than 18 syllables, it's difficult to convey just how bewildering Jamie & Jimmy's Food Fight Club (Thursday, 9pm, C4) is. The facts, such as they are, are benign enough: Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty, celebrated muckers of yore, have opened a pop-up cafe on Southend Pier. From this breezy, bustling »

- Sarah Dempster

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