16 November 2012 4:01 PM, PST | The Guardian - Film News | See recent The Guardian - Film News news »

The oddly chaste vampire saga comes to an end with Breaking Dawn - Part 2. We've watched all five films so you don't have to

Twilight

Awkward, lip-biting teenager Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington, where she falls in love with mysterious, moody, tan-averse Edward Cullen. Who turns out to be a vampire! But, y'know, a vegetarian one: he only eats animals. Edward and his foster brothers and sisters (who, er, also date each other: go with it) protect Bella when some evil vampires turn up. After smelling her. Sexy.

Lessons learned ...

Men will always be there to save us weak women

Whether Bella (Kristen Stewart) is walking in front of cars, falling off motorbikes, getting mugged, or merely condemning her soul to Hell by trying to have premarital sex, there's always a vampire (Edward, Robert Pattinson) or wolf (Jacob, Taylor Lautner) to save her. You know what us silly women are like! »

- Issy Sampson

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