14 November 2012 7:38 PM, PST | TVLine.com | See recent TVLine.com news »

Sometimes I wish I’d stuck with my late-’90s foray into yoga, the better to watch The X Factor while balanced on the top of my noggin. I mean, we’re all desperately seeking a different vantage point from which to make sense of this loud, brightly lit, oftentimes confounding affair, right?

Until I become the best-selling author of How Slezak Got His Namaste Back, however, I’m just going to have to rely on my old friends sauvignon blanc and incredulousness to help me endure the supercalifragilisticwhattheeffjusthappened-ness of it all.

Yes, Ameirca, recoil in terror as Britney Spears »

- Michael Slezak

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