2 October 2012 5:00 AM, PDT | The Guardian - Film News | See recent The Guardian - Film News news »

A digest of Arnie's 650-page, aptly-named autobiography, Total Recall – from muscles to movies and from Maria to Mildred

Like most profoundly unfunny people, Arnold Schwarzenegger is very proud of his sense of humour.

Hardly a page goes by in Total Recall, his whopping 650-page memoir, without a reference to some sticky situation he got out of through cunning use of deadpan or a passing zinger – for example, when he debated Arianna Huffington during the 2003 California gubernatorial race:

"If she got overly dramatic, I could say, 'I know you're Greek' or 'Switch to decaf.'"

The other thing you learn from Arnie's book is that everything in life has a bodybuilding analogy. Once in office, losing a dispute with the labor unions was like "losing to Frank Zane in Miami [Mr Universe, 1968] when I first came to America."

Bonnie Garcia, the state legislator he got into trouble with for referring to as "very »

- Emma Brockes

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