10 August 2012 4:05 PM, PDT | The Guardian - TV News | See recent The Guardian - TV News news »

'It's the most brazen come-on since Mrs Robinson's, but as she delivers it by way of Loud Whispering, the effect is closer to a telling-off from the Smoke Monster from Lost'

If jewel-teethed crunk eroticists the Ying Yang Twins have taught us anything – and I will engage in a harpoon battle to the death with anyone who suggests they haven't – it's that whispering sounds terrible when performed for an audience of more than one. Sure, breathy cooings are great when sighed into your ear canal by a loved one, but ask someone to whisper loud enough for the mic to pick them up and they'll sound like Mike Reid after a back-alley tonsillectomy.

Someone should have told all this to affair-enabling discount travel site Secret Escapes, who in their new ad have unleashed whispergeddon. "Even the best hotels don't want empty beds," suggests a twinkly-eyed ad lady. "That's strictly between us. »

- Gwilym Mumford

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