Scientology, Dawson's Creek, older women ... what really happened in the TomKat marriage?
It is, of course, a desperately sad thing when any marriage breaks up. Sympathy of the highest order should be expressed from those on the outside but, really, if you don't actually know the couple, nothing should be said at all. It is none of your business. Decorum, maturity and tactfully quiet understanding must be maintained.
Any marriage, that is, except one that involves Tom Cruise. And that is because Cruise, as everyone knows, is an alien. An evil alien. Come on, we all know it. Seriously, just try to imagine Cruise naked. See? It is literally impossible to imagine him any other way but with a smooth plastic groin, as genital-free as a Ken doll. That is because, despite being blessed with a face that came straight from the Handsome Factory, this is purely a mask (literally, »
- Hadley Freeman
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