Battleship is utter bilge, unabashedly an alien invasion blockbuster based on a decades-old guessing game. It’s a movie that hilariously arms its extra-terrestrial threats with “pegs” that plunk onto the hulls of destroyers and, before they explode, a character yells, “We’re hit!” Later, when communications are severed, the crew blasts away blindly at points on a grid.
To his credit, director Peter Berg shoots this hokey, FX-laden trash with vigor and enthusiasm, despite its board game beginnings, and those who champion blustery, brainless blow-outs will appreciate his dedication to ensuring this one is sufficiently noisy and stupid. AC/DC blares over militaristic displays of power. Naval fleets in picture-perfect formation slice through the ocean. Jets scream off carrier runways. Helicopters hover over waving flight crews. It’s Michael Bay’s brand of macho jingoism on full display and American flag-waving at its absolute silliest.
(Except all the “hooyah! »
- Jeff Leins
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