10 May 2012 11:59 AM, PDT | www.flickfilosopher.com | See recent FlickFilosopher news »

Hoorah for Tim Burton and the new nadir of narcissistic awfulness he achieves with Dark Shadows. It’s as if the mere idea of itself -- Tim Burton and Johnny Depp do campy supernatural soap opera! -- was alone assumed to be enough to coast through two hours of cinema. Oh, for certain, there is a breeziness here: but it’s the breeze of laziness, of contempt, of disregard for basic conventions of storytelling. Who needs story? Burton! Depp! Shadows! Whatever movie you can conjure in your head will surely be far more satisfying that what ended up onscreen. Burton’s last film, the dreadful Alice in Wonderland, was nothing more than a coffeetable book about its own production design. Dark Shadows takes the futility a meta step beyond, daring to be nothing but the wisp of its own conceit. It’s not a dare that pays off. To call »

- MaryAnn Johanson

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