- I've taken to wearing my pants on my head because I've been called a piece of female genitalia so many times.
- I have no prejudice.
- Ginger babies: like real babies, but so much harder to love.
- [on maternity leave] The difference between most mothers and me is that I didn't sit around drinking coffee at baby group for 12 months after the birth of my baby. No, in three weeks I was back in my suit, back at my desk earning profit for my business and I don't see why other women shouldn't do the same.
- I really think if you have a tattoo you have to wonder about what kind of future you have ahead of you. As an employer, I wouldn't employ someone with tattoos as I would wonder what customers would think about them. For me, tattoos are just a way for people to find attention who haven't found another way in their life to achieve it by conventional means.
- Would I employ you if you were obese? No I would not. You would give the wrong impression to the clients of my business. I need people to look energetic, professional and efficient. If you are obese you look lazy.
- [on life sentences] Suicidal prisoners should just kill themselves.
- I don't believe what Russell Brand says about addiction. I just don't buy it. It's a behavior. Gazza (Paul Gascoigne) likes drinking, let him crack on. He is enjoying himself.
- [on mums breast feeding in public] Mammary militia breast feeding en masse in Costa. Puts one off their latte.
- I lied to get someone else's husband because I wanted him. I give myself 8 out of 10 for ruthlessness for that one.
- A name, for me, is a short way of working out what class that child comes from. And I can decide from that... do I want my child to play with them?
- [on girls called Charmaine] 'Hi, this is my daughter Charmaine'. I hear: 'Hi, I am thick and ignorant'.
- [on the elderly] Personally, I hate mobility scooters. I find their owners intolerable.
- Samuel Kurtz's People's Party, he is also better looking than the Canadian Justin Trudeau, so take that! You lame ass piece of crap.
- [Internet trolls] Are these people sitting with machetes at the end of my drive ready to take my head off? Of course not, because they still live with their Mothers at 42, flossing their teeth with their toenails and eating their own earwax, very sad people who don't get out much, and don't our Police have much better things to do?
- [The "Liberal Elite"] You are Dr Frankenstein and I am your monster.
- I would rather be grabbed by the pussy than have a Pussy in the White House.
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