3 items from 2013
Tonight in London, the very worst in sauciness, smut, and sexploitation will be celebrated at 2013's Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Awards.
Folk singer Woody Guthrie's debut novel House of Earth will face off against the likes of Susan Choi's My Education and Rupert Thomson's Secrecy for the dubious honour of being named the filthiest and most foul.
Each year, the awards seek to celebrate the "most egregious passage of sexual description" in a novel, so here at Digital Spy, we figured we'd get in on the act - and that's not an innuendo.
Here's a few of television's very worst sex scenes, to prove that when it comes to coitus, telly can do the awkward, the awe-inspring and the just-plain-awful as well as any piece of literature...
Additional material by Daniel Sperling and Morgan Jeffery
You couldn't make a list like this without mentioning »
With his new beard, Gareth Malone wins everyone over – even the grumpy basses
Here's something to maybe fill the baking void: singing. Not The X Factor, but middle-class talent television, for the Guardian reader: The Choir: Sing While You Work (BBC2) with Gareth Malone. Corporate glee.
Actually It's a shame the Guardian isn't in it (and you have to be to win it, innit). There is a choir here – the Guardian Angels, they call themselves; you can here them practising on a Wednesday lunchtime. What would they do in this? A version of The Snowman theme, rewritten to be about Edward Snowden? We're Spying in the Air … Or some kind of Nwa/Nsa gangsta rap, Straight Outta Kings Place. Or something better.
- Sam Wollaston
The Inbetweeners star - who turned 26 yesterday (August 14) - went to see the movie with his wife Clair Meek and suggested to his Twitter followers that his nerves prevented him from securing the part.
He tweeted: "Off to see alpha papa this afternoon with my wife for my birthday!
"i read for a part in AlphaPapa. Embarrassingly Im such a Coogan geek i was literally star struck of the script. Was V nervous, I wasn't cast."
The Steve Coogan comedy has topped the UK box office this week, taking £2.175 million.
The Inbetweeners Movie 2 is due to open in UK cinemas in August 2014.
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3 items from 2013
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