Twitter for
Sarah Silverman More at IMDbPro »

twitter.com/SarahKSilverman
2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009

1-100 of 337 items from 2013   « Prev | Next »

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Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm. Of course mama's gonna help build the wall.

(21 hours ago )

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Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing. She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing.

(21 hours ago )

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Mama's gonna make all your nightmares come true. Mama's gonna put all her fears into you.

(21 hours ago )

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Basketball brings people together http://t.co/MBrpeBU39q

(17 May 2013 11:54 PM, PDT )

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This is not a puppet http://t.co/CbF6oIoZeM

(17 May 2013 11:46 PM, PDT )

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That cookie feels like a racial slur RT @RebelWilson I could probably eat my body weight in macaroons x

(17 May 2013 11:20 PM, PDT )

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I love & accept people who love & accept people

(17 May 2013 10:08 PM, PDT )

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I hate to be negative but if there's a God & if it's possible for an airline to get AIDS, I hope God gives @americanair AIDS

(17 May 2013 2:04 PM, PDT )

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I wasn't on stand by I had a coach ticket bought and paid for. @americanair #neveragain

(17 May 2013 2:02 PM, PDT )

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Well I got to the airport 2 hours early & then was not allowed to board because the plane was too heavy. My friend o… http://t.co/UIlIvYpuUV

(17 May 2013 1:45 PM, PDT )

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My own self, @thelonelyisland & their mommies http://t.co/PBhHFKRwHd

(15 May 2013 4:01 PM, PDT )

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Laughing is funny! @thelonelyisland & me #comedyweek http://t.co/lud0L0N8P9

(15 May 2013 10:02 AM, PDT )

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Egg on my FACE! RT @daxshepard1 @SarahKSilverman I think he meant "Kite;" which then makes sense, because kites CAN'T go out in the rain.

(14 May 2013 9:21 PM, PDT )

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In half? That's so specif RT @(omitted) @SarahKSilverman I want to crack every kike tooth of yours in half. U have NO talent jew

(13 May 2013 11:45 PM, PDT )

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I don't get the rain part RT @(omitted) @SarahKSilverman u better watch were you go kike u can't just walk outside in the rain

(13 May 2013 11:44 PM, PDT )

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.@pennjillette is #celebapprenticeMVP (RT this for a GREAT mental health charity!) http://t.co/0Hn8QBC8SR

(13 May 2013 1:01 PM, PDT )

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I bet u get tons of (hairy) pussy! RT @DrPizza I think the right to control ur own body is far more fundamental than the right to own guns

(12 May 2013 8:36 PM, PDT )

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@pennjillette is #celebapprenticemvp (RT this for a GREAT mental health charity- I fucked up on the last tweet!)

(12 May 2013 6:19 PM, PDT )

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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to the 2 greatest moms a girl could ask for! (Yes, Mom, I know I ended that sentence w a preposit… http://t.co/jDse2FbE4X

(12 May 2013 5:21 PM, PDT )

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The GOP wants to wish you a Happy Mother's Day http://t.co/5qxfiQk3TK

(12 May 2013 3:20 PM, PDT )

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We're ALL against murder, whether it's of actual people & or not-yet-alive goo #NotSoDifferentAfterAll

(12 May 2013 2:52 PM, PDT )

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Dear gun peeps, Why y'all protective of privacy when it comes to guns but not when it comes to repro rights?

(12 May 2013 2:34 PM, PDT )

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Does anybody else's fingers spontaneously combust at the joints? Just out of nowhere? http://t.co/3yWqwoQDjW

(12 May 2013 12:15 AM, PDT )

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Security just called my hotel rm w a noise complaint - that's how hardcore i am (I'm Skyping w my mom at 10:45 on a Sat)

(11 May 2013 10:51 PM, PDT )

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Walgreen's Pain Reliever: now with dark red dye! http://t.co/tAzog576Ty

(11 May 2013 6:18 PM, PDT )

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Whole bag of caramel popcorn for dinner: check

(10 May 2013 8:07 PM, PDT )

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My #1 hero & the greatest human I never met (but have known since I was little) READ THIS: http://t.co/ph7AdGQ6OW

(10 May 2013 6:57 PM, PDT )

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I look like Snoopy IN PICTURES

(10 May 2013 4:43 PM, PDT )

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If ur not looney tunes or a criminal, how could background checks possibly hurt your precious gun boners?

(9 May 2013 7:17 PM, PDT )

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Tiny plane. Excessive amount of gum chompers. This may be the end of me.

(9 May 2013 9:24 AM, PDT )

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Oh, you've been on your way to 'ew' for a while now, Malina. RT @JoshMalina On my way to @ew for an interview

(9 May 2013 8:57 AM, PDT )

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Wait- if shame was caused by a bite off a crappy apple, why are we staying with it's bad-apple ideals?

(9 May 2013 1:05 AM, PDT )

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Instagram pic got deleted- sry!! Was just a pic that came up when I googled "hairy vagina" in dentist waiting rm 4 no reason

(9 May 2013 12:19 AM, PDT )

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Ya, Girl, let your freak flag fly http://t.co/ldYujpKg1j

(8 May 2013 11:35 PM, PDT )

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This dog just doesn't get it http://t.co/fSPp1TE8uN

(8 May 2013 11:31 PM, PDT )

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Oh my! BETWEEN TWO FERNS! http://t.co/T1zpammQgg

(8 May 2013 3:23 PM, PDT )

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This video is made from Zach's song. So special- check it out @zachsobiech http://t.co/rO5ZDBwTtr #mylastdays #clouds #forzach

(7 May 2013 3:19 PM, PDT )

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Michael Cera's trailer for the upcoming GREGORY GO BOOM! #JASH http://t.co/FlevyqWI3H

(6 May 2013 4:25 PM, PDT )

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This morning's playlist: Mountain Goats/Stars/MaryGauthier/Elliot Smith/Miley/JennyLewis/BrandiCarlile

(5 May 2013 12:22 PM, PDT )

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There isn't a website devoted to "amateur hairy pussy pics" Just kidding there is

(3 May 2013 11:57 PM, PDT )

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Fete des pets behind the scenes reel http://t.co/H0jsnLiAUs #JASH

(3 May 2013 1:01 PM, PDT )

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Yes I took that weekend writing class everyone takes at some point #incitingincident

(3 May 2013 2:04 AM, PDT )

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There was no inciting incident it just washed over me like a cloud.

(3 May 2013 2:00 AM, PDT )

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Holy crap a really good mood just snuck up on me out of nowhere

(3 May 2013 1:46 AM, PDT )

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THIS IS MIND-BLOWING: SHROOM TRIP OPERA by @josephkeckler & @lynchland http://t.co/RC7aWlH4AQ

(2 May 2013 10:30 PM, PDT )

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Feeling a sense of accomplishment after scrubbing, mopping & disinfecting a full-on dogshit massacre

(2 May 2013 9:20 PM, PDT )

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New #JASH vid y'all. Thanks to dir Nick Jasenovec & editor @DanFlesherEdits http://t.co/QIf95AKKcb

(2 May 2013 4:02 PM, PDT )

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The trailer for my French noir film from the 60's is out: http://t.co/E37ifTQFvq #JASH

(2 May 2013 10:23 AM, PDT )

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I don't know, CAN you? RT @ThisGuyJamesH @SarahKSilverman can I stick my tongue in your asshole?

(2 May 2013 9:02 AM, PDT )

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By @fakekoslowski http://t.co/5d7A1TWhpg

(2 May 2013 2:57 AM, PDT )

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Let me babysit your toddler! #UncleSarah http://t.co/ICjGIxAaPa

(1 May 2013 7:49 AM, PDT )

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Mamas - in LA MAY 5? Come to a teeny tiny super secret special taping: http://t.co/nJSTOdr3Yi

(30 April 2013 12:42 PM, PDT )

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I talk to strangers

(28 April 2013 6:44 PM, PDT )

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It's a well known fact that motion-activated paper towel dispensers don't work for jews

(28 April 2013 5:34 PM, PDT )

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The woman next to me on this flight is tap tap tap tapping nails on her hardcover book. Just FYI

(28 April 2013 12:41 PM, PDT )

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Shit my hand RT @DougBenson Finding out what smh means totally had me smh.

(27 April 2013 2:00 PM, PDT )

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Just found this rad pic of @kristenschaaled Tiggles @morgan_murphy sweet Janeanne & a horse named me http://t.co/u7VZjUosFd

(27 April 2013 1:52 PM, PDT )

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Let me babysit your kids: #UncleSarah http://t.co/ICjGIxAaPa

(27 April 2013 10:02 AM, PDT )

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Hey babies & toddlers! UNCLE SARAH is FINALLY fixed for IPAD & IPHONE: http://t.co/ICjGIxAaPa

(25 April 2013 12:32 PM, PDT )

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AUCTION FOR BOSTON- I'll leave your outgoing voicemail message http://t.co/m1XLB8bDfx

(22 April 2013 12:34 PM, PDT )

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David Caruso is like serious Ace Ventura

(21 April 2013 11:31 PM, PDT )

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Dear House of Representatives, Who exactly are you representing?

(21 April 2013 7:40 PM, PDT )

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RT @rickygervais These window washers at a children's hospital in Pittsburgh, show the best of human nature.. http://t.co/Bfg2pC4aZv

(21 April 2013 7:09 PM, PDT )

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Love is Love via @rantsfromboca http://t.co/XH8k42tK8R

(21 April 2013 7:22 AM, PDT )

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The devastating @Aboycraig (@kyledunnigan) Pre-show http://t.co/qjHQhuh5yN

(20 April 2013 5:24 PM, PDT )

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Even the mannequins in South Beach have fake tits http://t.co/DWlRtW5thr

(20 April 2013 12:44 PM, PDT )

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This is a story I read by @tweenhobo. Also @ConanOBrien, Jack White @kcrworganist http://t.co/I4tUUyhiPB

(19 April 2013 9:08 PM, PDT )

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just saw a baby at LAX that looks EXACTLY like Lorne Michaels

(19 April 2013 10:49 AM, PDT )

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If u believed all the great things u say about yourself u wouldn't need to say them & u wouldn't be so angry

(17 April 2013 7:43 PM, PDT )

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If you don't like being in the dark turn on the lights, Doll.

(17 April 2013 5:21 PM, PDT )

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You'll have to pry my misfired gun from my cold dead half-hand

(17 April 2013 2:57 PM, PDT )

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He doesn't have anything against them, he's just not a "dog" dog. (Duck)

(16 April 2013 3:23 PM, PDT )

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Heya! @eddiepepitone @jeffgarlin & @kyledunnigan on SARAH & FRIENDS at @LargoLosAngeles this THURS, Yo!

(16 April 2013 10:02 AM, PDT )

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Dan's a cutter!! RT @DanFlesherEdits Cut a @SarahKSilverman PSA by directors @andrewbarchilon & @kitaosakurai http://t.co/ttdlNIjfXB

(16 April 2013 9:52 AM, PDT )

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Word.! I mean the Wahlbergs ALONE RT @GarryShandling You've got to be an idiot to do anythig that makes the city of Boston mad at you

(15 April 2013 9:41 PM, PDT )

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I hate not knowing where to put all this rage & sadness. Oh my #Boston

(15 April 2013 5:31 PM, PDT )

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My latest JASH video. Enjoy! http://t.co/ttdlNIjfXB

(15 April 2013 12:59 PM, PDT )

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Just posted a photo http://t.co/kAKti7Arwn

(15 April 2013 2:13 AM, PDT )

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What if we raised our children to have values& empathy-not b/c of fear of God or a prize of heaven but just b/c it was right?

(14 April 2013 6:48 PM, PDT )

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Religions are basic guidelines of how to live for addicts & sociopaths who need that kind of stuff. Goodnight, Sweetie.

(14 April 2013 6:28 PM, PDT )

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I'm so excited to not be at Coachella!

(13 April 2013 10:39 PM, PDT )

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If God told you to jump off a bridge

(13 April 2013 2:52 PM, PDT )

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I wish America would realize @kyledunnigan isn't just a comedian - he's a singer w/ a FUCKING GOLDEN EAR http://t.co/mkUn3pMqvF

(13 April 2013 1:25 PM, PDT )

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I am not a member of any Chosen People. I'm in fact almost never chosen.

(13 April 2013 12:54 PM, PDT )

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Brave people don't try to take rights away from others.

(11 April 2013 6:26 PM, PDT )

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RT @CharlieBallard: @SarahKSilverman rent one?

(11 April 2013 2:41 AM, PDT )

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porn is between me and my god

(10 April 2013 8:48 AM, PDT )

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Where might one buy acid 4 throwing in people's faces b/c their beliefs are dif than mine? Asking 4 a friend. Need to know ASAP

(9 April 2013 11:33 PM, PDT )

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Much like an infant baby my body temp skyrockets whilst napping

(9 April 2013 7:01 PM, PDT )

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MIAMI BEACH! I'm gonna be in you on the 20th! Tix here: http://t.co/NrmrIfwtZR

(9 April 2013 5:50 PM, PDT )

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DURHAM NC!! See you on the 24th!! Get tix here: http://t.co/xhF7rYrCRH

(8 April 2013 4:01 PM, PDT )

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NASHVILLE!! See you on the 23rd!! Tix here: http://t.co/IVJ9xLLyrZ

(8 April 2013 2:56 PM, PDT )

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If You're Fuckin, Then You're Fuckin <-- watch this @reggiewatts forever!! http://t.co/UsLJejM57J

(8 April 2013 1:04 PM, PDT )

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The word "unspeakable" comes up exclusively in Real Housewives' reunions & holocaust docs

(8 April 2013 1:03 AM, PDT )

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Nice guys finish after you

(7 April 2013 11:35 AM, PDT )

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There should b tampons in minibars I would pay $12 for a tamp to not have to drag my ass to Duane Reade w TP in my unds

(6 April 2013 2:10 PM, PDT )

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Heya @jimmyfallon - our movie was just on da We chan: http://t.co/LsnLodQafI

(5 April 2013 7:41 PM, PDT )

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You should call your penis your "lady Lump"

(5 April 2013 6:53 PM, PDT )

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Working Girl on We

(5 April 2013 5:20 PM, PDT )

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I very much do not want to hear your skeleton breaking down food in your mouth please

(5 April 2013 12:42 PM, PDT )

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2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009

1-100 of 337 items from 2013   « Prev | Next »

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