Twitter for
Sarah Silverman More at IMDbPro »

twitter.com/SarahKSilverman
2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009

1-100 of 255 items from 2012   « Prev | Next »

---

I wish there was a bat-signal that let Phil Donahue know we needed him.

(27 May 2012 5:22 PM, PDT )

---

People who angrily point their fingers are talking about themselves

(26 May 2012 10:19 PM, PDT )

---

Seeing Peter Scolari's penis made me realize that we're all human animals made of molecules

(25 May 2012 5:00 PM, PDT )

---

Insane show in Chicago w @reggiewatts @marcmaron @nerdist @natashaleggero & me 6/16 http://t.co/LPmdO5Ed

(25 May 2012 1:03 PM, PDT )

---

Oh boy RT @laughspincom Yay! #TakeThisWaltz w/ Michelle Williams, Seth Rogen & @SarahKSilverman avail Fri through VOD http://t.co/f2Rsoa0f

(24 May 2012 3:04 PM, PDT )

---

RT @kyledunnigan It's very simple Ricki, we're all in a contest where the winner gets to fuck your mom. #bachelorette

(24 May 2012 1:19 AM, PDT )

---

It all depends on what you believe but the question remains: When does (a woman's) life begin?

(23 May 2012 8:11 PM, PDT )

---

3 summer shows: 6/23: http://t.co/s3Ib7TZx – Saratoga, CA 7/6: http://t.co/D2mZx9T2 - Foxwoods 7/7: http://t.co/YWl3b6iv – Atlantic City

(22 May 2012 7:24 PM, PDT )

---

gonna go the other way with it & live for your sins

(22 May 2012 7:18 PM, PDT )

---

My vagina has off-beat good looks

(21 May 2012 2:21 PM, PDT )

---

This Thurs at @largolosangeles SARAH & FRIENDS w @billburr @ToddGlass @kyledunnigan Brian Moses& Me

(21 May 2012 11:50 AM, PDT )

---

. @kyledunnigan wants butt sex http://t.co/hTwanx1r

(21 May 2012 12:33 AM, PDT )

---

Loving the Celebrity Apprentice finale! May the best power-bottom win!!

(20 May 2012 10:10 PM, PDT )

---

RIP Robin Gibb. Wish I had gotten that message to him to hold on.

(20 May 2012 9:16 PM, PDT )

---

PERFECTLY SAID by ill Doctrine: http://t.co/gGRo44kG

(18 May 2012 11:57 AM, PDT )

---

Thats ok doll I'm not for everyone RT @shapdogg @SarahKSilverman breitbart website kooks talking poop about u & ur tea party westboro tweet

(18 May 2012 1:18 AM, PDT )

---

Texted my beau this pic of my outfit & this was his response http://t.co/ls6pDSwH

(17 May 2012 11:19 PM, PDT )

---

It's not my fault if my hair looks better dirty. God obvs has a plan.

(16 May 2012 11:01 PM, PDT )

---

how about "Feed the Poor"? RT @adamsbaldwin &clearly dear @SarahKSilverman the solution 2 our U.S. debt catastrophie is NOT "Eat the Rich"

(16 May 2012 9:41 PM, PDT )

---

.@adamsbaldwin Re VAWA vid-- that is so obviously an Applebee's integration (I agree - beautiful speech)

(16 May 2012 9:20 PM, PDT )

---

:) @adamsbaldwin I don't know ur def of big gov so I can't say. But can we agree that the byproducts of greed & fear sux? xo

(16 May 2012 9:04 PM, PDT )

---

Hi @adamsbaldwin, I agree I'm crude but I also love America. U & I disagree but I like our common ground: we both give a shit xo

(16 May 2012 8:24 PM, PDT )

---

The Tea Party really is just a cunt hair away from being the Westboro Baptist Church -Maya Angelou

(16 May 2012 5:36 PM, PDT )

---

I like when @twittels describes Schrab as someone who "wipes side 2 side" RT @RobSchrab Yeah!!!!! http://t.co/C7cqaGjB

(16 May 2012 2:00 AM, PDT )

---

Q: Is this My Dad's Aunt Bess or @tobeymaguire's oldentimely pic from Frontierland? http://t.co/HaNamxtd

(14 May 2012 5:38 PM, PDT )

---

LARGO MAY 24 SARAH&FRIENDS: @billburr @DanaJGould @ToddGlass @kyledunnigan Brian Moses& me

(14 May 2012 2:57 PM, PDT )

---

If you are not for the civil rights of all Americans than you are Un-American. <-- @barackobama, say THAT

(14 May 2012 2:12 PM, PDT )

---

... It's a man's arm-pussy!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! http://t.co/nANFKNRk

(14 May 2012 12:55 AM, PDT )

---

Fun game: Q: ever look up a lady's kulats? http://t.co/ANTDr35y

(14 May 2012 12:49 AM, PDT )

---

Anyone know a DONALD GRENIER or PAUL SANCLEMENTE? They'd be 76. They bullied my dad in hs & I'm looking 4 them

(13 May 2012 2:22 PM, PDT )

---

Saying "RELAX" is maybe the least relaxing word you can say to someone

(12 May 2012 9:41 PM, PDT )

---

Hey super loud motorcycle man. I don't know who hurt u when u were tiny but ur giving me a heart attack

(11 May 2012 3:21 AM, PDT )

---

Snip out the crotch of your tight & let your vagina breathe, Sweetie.

(10 May 2012 9:10 PM, PDT )

---

Wait -so Obama felt 'rushed' into supporting gay rights? yuck. I can't wait for @CoryBooker to be president

(10 May 2012 5:16 PM, PDT )

---

My hero @lizzwinstead 's book is finally out today ya'll! #LizzFreeOrDie

(10 May 2012 12:01 PM, PDT )

---

"Your mama's so cool, She mirrors me in a positive way that makes me feel good" (Introspective SNAPS)

(8 May 2012 11:14 PM, PDT )

---

You know how when you get too stoned and you start DMing @TheOnlyEdAsner? Well I do. I do know how when.

(8 May 2012 9:26 PM, PDT )

---

RT @simonsam Why should the Bible's definition of marriage be America's definition?

(8 May 2012 8:37 PM, PDT )

---

I'm finding it hard to get sympathy with my I-pulled-a-muscle-on-a-zip-line story.

(8 May 2012 8:18 PM, PDT )

---

NORTH CAROLINA TODAY!! Vote NO on Amendment One!! Show these barbarians what's what! #amendmentone

(8 May 2012 10:51 AM, PDT )

---

NORTH CAROLINA! Vote NO on Amendment One tomorrow!! Show these barbarians what's what! #amendmentone

(8 May 2012 10:27 AM, PDT )

---

Milk milk lemonade, 'round the corner NOTHING HAPPENS I SWEAR

(6 May 2012 11:15 AM, PDT )

---

every episode of Mad Men is a masterpiece #sallydraperforever

(4 May 2012 9:02 PM, PDT )

---

I don't think any comic would disagree that @Joan_Rivers is by far the most hard core comedian on TV

(4 May 2012 7:57 PM, PDT )

---

I bet there are more prolapsed anuses since the invention of the iPhone #notalibrary

(3 May 2012 12:38 AM, PDT )

---

Looking at amateur porn on my phone at 4:04 pm makes me feel good about myself & my future.

(2 May 2012 4:04 PM, PDT )

---

Horses look like Allman Brothers

(2 May 2012 12:38 AM, PDT )

---

Coupon Suzy has huge tits

(1 May 2012 11:20 PM, PDT )

---

Unfortunate is the man who employs baby talk

(1 May 2012 12:19 AM, PDT )

---

Building a jeweled cage for my rectum

(30 April 2012 8:04 PM, PDT )

---

Okay I admit it. I like rainbows

(29 April 2012 10:23 PM, PDT )

---

I'm a cereal girl. Anything too fancy gives me diarrhea. That's why I'll never meet the Queen.

(29 April 2012 6:57 PM, PDT )

---

Anyone going thru weho on the way downtown to rhe March like right now? W room for me and a ton of signs?

(28 April 2012 10:20 AM, PDT )

---

Loudly say the name Michelle Tuzee. I dare you not to smile.

(27 April 2012 11:13 PM, PDT )

---

Great comics on @Amnesty's Secret Policeman's Ball on @EpixHD 2NITE at 11:30pm ET: http://t.co/B9z49HBq #secretball

(27 April 2012 9:48 AM, PDT )

---

Holy crossover! The black smoke monster from #Lost just came out of a lady's vagina in #GameofThrones!

(26 April 2012 8:18 PM, PDT )

---

RT @TheConversation: Listen to @JaneFonda @GwynethPaltrow @SarahKSilverman & @ZoeSaldana’s share what they wish their 14 yr old selves h

(26 April 2012 4:36 PM, PDT )

---

Guys- I hope to see u at the march Saturday-- COME FOR THE PUSSAY STAY FOR THE JUSTICE! http://t.co/YRQ23jLM

(26 April 2012 3:00 PM, PDT )

---

RT @UCBCorps R u ready to Unite Against the War on Women this Sat with @WOWCALI? Get crackin' on your signs, and shine your marching shoes.

(26 April 2012 9:40 AM, PDT )

---

Fun fact: despite all the dirty tweets I send, the one about this march for Women has received the most hate mail

(25 April 2012 12:12 PM, PDT )

---

BRING UR DAUGHTERS & SONS! UNITE AGAINST THE WAR ON WOMEN march this SAT! Find out where in your state: http://t.co/YRQ23jLM

(25 April 2012 11:35 AM, PDT )

---

Dear Rep & Dem lawmakers; Please please go back to considering the actual bill & not the bill writer.

(25 April 2012 7:02 AM, PDT )

---

Enhance by 20%.

(25 April 2012 12:51 AM, PDT )

---

My hair smells

(25 April 2012 12:49 AM, PDT )

---

"Oh Earth ur too wonderful for anyone to realize! I wish I could scissor the whole world!" -Thornton Wilderer

(24 April 2012 10:55 PM, PDT )

---

Holy crapload #MadMen blows my mind #Haveashittyday

(24 April 2012 10:17 PM, PDT )

---

Bros & Sissies- Hope to see u at the UNITE AGAINST THE WAR ON WOMEN march this Saturday! Info: http://t.co/DZqv9sAP

(24 April 2012 3:36 PM, PDT )

---

Bros & Sissies! Hope to see you all at the UNITE AGAINST THE WAR IN WOMEN on Saturday! Info: http://t.co/0wYJMiYA

(24 April 2012 2:05 PM, PDT )

---

"walkin' through a fart since the day I been born" -lyric from my imaginary country song

(23 April 2012 5:13 PM, PDT )

---

Techno music hurts & confuses me. The sound of a computer screaming in my ear isn't my cup of tea

(22 April 2012 7:08 PM, PDT )

---

One thing I love to do when I'm really high is hold babies

(22 April 2012 5:59 PM, PDT )

---

Happy THE KILLING/ MAD MEN/ GAME OF THRONES/ GIRLS/ NURSE JACKIE day everybody!

(22 April 2012 8:53 AM, PDT )

---

Hot shit. I had no idea The French Lieutenant's Woman was this way

(21 April 2012 10:56 PM, PDT )

---

Please enjoy my adorable Dad http://t.co/dfjS5GEW

(21 April 2012 1:09 PM, PDT )

---

Check out this great doc about my love, Music Man Murray on @doc_channel 2nite at 8:30!! http://t.co/2zmg111p

(21 April 2012 10:39 AM, PDT )

---

Relax, Dolly. You're the only one Googling you.

(21 April 2012 12:52 AM, PDT )

---

I like the score for Game of Thrones. I guess I like the music from that pretend period of time

(20 April 2012 9:47 PM, PDT )

---

No tone but I can hear the ocean RT @ChelseaVPeretti @SarahKSilverman put your ear up to your b hole

(19 April 2012 1:26 AM, PDT )

---

Piercing high pitched ringing in my bedroom: night 2. Cannot find source.

(19 April 2012 12:42 AM, PDT )

---

Out with the new.

(18 April 2012 9:40 PM, PDT )

---

The elderly-couple-dying-only-days-apart notion makes my heart physically hurt. I don't enjoy this feeling

(18 April 2012 7:51 PM, PDT )

---

New bill proposal: Mandatory moment of silence for the millions of dead human sperm in your gym sock

(18 April 2012 1:02 PM, PDT )

---

Temperance Brennan is a modern day Data

(18 April 2012 1:15 AM, PDT )

---

Couple thoughts: genocide is happening in Sudan & I'm tired lately.

(17 April 2012 9:25 PM, PDT )

---

Men that get plastic surgery look like nanas

(17 April 2012 8:53 PM, PDT )

---

The government should STAY OUT of our PRIVATE LIVES except when it comes to who we marry & what we do w our uteruses!!

(17 April 2012 2:58 PM, PDT )

---

It wasn't funny for me to talk so casually about abortion. But when they take our right to choose away it will be HILARIOUS!

(17 April 2012 2:47 PM, PDT )

---

I don't want to look at my naked crotch upside-down through my legs in the mirror. I have to.

(17 April 2012 10:03 AM, PDT )

---

..from other people reading on their iPads that you exist.

(17 April 2012 12:24 AM, PDT )

---

Oh modern world you've traded in your beautiful distorted human memory for a fucked up satisfaction

(17 April 2012 12:23 AM, PDT )

---

They happily trade the real-life interaction for a facebook upload.

(17 April 2012 12:21 AM, PDT )

---

People are straight disappointed if they have to use only their AMAZING HUMAN BRAIN for memories

(17 April 2012 12:15 AM, PDT )

---

Great line-up for SARAH &FRIENDS thurs at LARGO: @realjeffreyross @nerdist @kirkfox, @billburr &me

(16 April 2012 7:20 PM, PDT )

---

I'm pretty easy going. I just don't like noises shapes or sensations

(16 April 2012 10:09 AM, PDT )

---

This is true & not a euphemism: My dog cries when I have sex.

(14 April 2012 10:12 PM, PDT )

---

Really you should only tell people who are tens what their number is.

(14 April 2012 10:04 PM, PDT )

---

I like to think of my nostrils as "big naturals"

(14 April 2012 12:37 AM, PDT )

---

Ooooooh it's Friday the 13th you guys! Fun spooky murdery kinds of things day!

(13 April 2012 6:56 PM, PDT )

---

My Mom once told me my nostrils look like a 2 car garage which I took to mean shoot for the stars

(13 April 2012 5:17 PM, PDT )

---

What if we definitively found out there's no God or Allah or anything? Would there be more killing or less? Discuss

(13 April 2012 5:11 PM, PDT )

---

2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009

1-100 of 255 items from 2012   « Prev | Next »

---