“Apartments don’t kill people. People kill people.” If only there were more howlers of that caliber in “Apartment 1303
,” this truly vacant thriller might have clawed its way into so-bad-it’s-good territory. As it is, your monthly rent is probably scarier than what writer-director Michael Taverna
has cooked up in this inept and derivative tale of a Detroit flat that mysteriously drives its tenants to suicide. With “The Conjuring” still in theaters and “The Tenant,” “The Shining
,” “The 4th Floor
,” “1408″ and countless other real-estate chillers still in circulation, only the least discriminating genre aficionados and Mischa Barton
fans need bother checking out this VOD time-waster in theaters; it’s being released in a stereoscopic version called “Apartment 1303 3D
,” adding a clunker of a title to the pic’s list of reasons not to exist.
Taverna’s film is a Detroit-set remake of a 2007 Japanese horror-thriller with the same title,