Twitter for
Michael Boatman More at IMDbPro »

twitter.com/MichaelPBoatman
2012 | 2011 | 2010

83 items from 2012

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MichaelBoatman_: Watched Rise of the Planet of the (CGI) Apes: That poor 'Malfoy' kid is cursed to play snarky, doomed assholes for the rest of his life.

(22 hours ago )

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MichaelBoatman_: Can't wait to get home and watch the 'very special' Juvenile Ass Cancer episode of Big Time Rush.

(22 hours ago )

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MichaelBoatman_: BREAKING NEWS: "PAT SAJAK ADMITS TO DRINKING WHILE HOSTING WHEEL OF FORTUNE!" How can I go on? I do not... want... to live!

(22 hours ago )

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MichaelBoatman_: @jodigomes Yeah, that one kinda hurt me too. And I wrote it!

(27 January 2012 4:07 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Just watched The Last Airbender. The animated series featured mostly Asian characters; The movie looks like Dog the Bounty Hunter...on ice

(27 January 2012 4:05 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Must be delusional. I could swear I just heard Mitt Romney call Newt Gingrich a dick.

(27 January 2012 3:59 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @DianeNeal @thestevenweber @traciethoms Gotta go. My stop is here & I'm try--ng to write n walk and avoid being raped n I'm falllllllinggg!

(26 January 2012 2:22 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @DianeNeal @thestevenweber @traciethoms Neeeeaallliiiiiiie!!! Don't listen to Weber. As the wisemen say...he's a dick.

(26 January 2012 2:19 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @scottrych Good luck, dude. It really works!

(26 January 2012 2:15 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @TheStevenWeber Wrong, sinner. Because I'm going to fly out there and beat YOU up...with lashings of faith.

(26 January 2012 2:14 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @TheStevenWeber @traciethoms She is the greatest actress of our generation, Mister. "F&*k" Meryl Streep.

(26 January 2012 2:13 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Just accosted by a dozen screaming The Game fans. Why the hell do I still ride the subway?

(26 January 2012 2:12 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @traciethoms @TheStevenWeber Break a leg, Tracie!

(26 January 2012 2:10 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @traciethoms @TheStevenWeber Shouldn't SOMEONE be heading for the theater now?

(26 January 2012 2:08 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @puccinigirlnyc EEEWWWWW. (Hmmmm?) No, Eeeeeewwww.

(26 January 2012 2:07 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @TheStevenWeber Thanks, "Mister Nolte." I loved you in The Fabulous Baker Boys, and Tron!

(26 January 2012 2:06 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @everythingro Comin' right up!

(26 January 2012 2:02 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @TheStevenWeber "Mister Nolte," if you're reading this, please put some salve on those nuts & cover up. Then kill me as quickly as you can.

(26 January 2012 2:01 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: "Nick Nolte" is cursing at himself. Hmmm. Maybe it really IS Nick Nolte.

(26 January 2012 1:58 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @jodigomes I wish "Nick Nolte" would close his legs and keep those things in check!

(26 January 2012 1:55 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @everythingro Hey! Sorry. Sometimes New York is too raw. Like "Nick Nolte's" equipment.

(26 January 2012 1:55 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @TheStevenWeber @traciethoms And how do YOU two know each other?

(26 January 2012 1:54 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Unpleasant odor wafting from the man sitting across from me on the subway: Imagine Nick Nolte, only with his balls poking through his pants.

(26 January 2012 1:49 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Dieting. Dropped carbs like a hot stool sample. Must be doing it right because I'm f@#ckin' starving. CHRIST, how I love pilot season!

(26 January 2012 1:32 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @Tom_Bergeron Funny,I often I WATCHED Hollywood Squares totally naked, holding a bag of Doritos and a cucumber. Oh, that wasn't a cucumber.

(26 January 2012 9:56 AM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Recognizing my new animal avatar. I am...the North American Short-faced Bear: Huge, vicious, prehistoric. And always hungry.

(26 January 2012 8:44 AM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Next Gig, nothing firm yet, but here's a hint...there will be blood.

(25 January 2012 7:53 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @1wildchld @qzgun @RobbieAmell @JimHeadJr Yay! Hornet's Nest! Can't wait! Work it, my director!

(25 January 2012 3:33 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Sitting here eatin' my heart out, baby.

(24 January 2012 1:44 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @robertlfleck Oh HO!!!!

(23 January 2012 2:05 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: IF ZOMBIES SURROUNDED THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES: Newt would feed them Ron Paul, Santorum would look for Jesus & Romney would walk on by.

(23 January 2012 2:04 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @losthedge True. An end to phony-baloney jingoism is the only thing that can save us now!

(23 January 2012 1:57 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Yes yes, lower taxes, more jobs... but how would Romney, Gingrich, or Paul handle a full-fledged zombie beatdown?

(23 January 2012 1:56 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Amazed at the Republican Primaries, AKA the latest "Who Can Spout The Most Patriotic-Sounding But Totally Empty Bullshit Contest!"

(23 January 2012 1:53 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @WhosLO84 Not sure. but if they call me and I'm available, Chauncey will make his triumphant return!

(23 January 2012 1:43 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Alright, you got me...I'm Batman. Oh! Sorry...that should say I am FAT, man.

(23 January 2012 1:33 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: RT @suzechooch: @MichaelBoatman_ please RT to Help some Chicagoan's try to win $10K for Children's Memorial Hospital! #TeamFiona

(22 January 2012 3:37 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Shooting up bath salts causes flesh-eating virus? Well what the Hell else am I supposed to do with all this bath salt? Oh

(22 January 2012 3:35 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Saw Redtails. It was fun, inspiring. Dogfight sequences are unbelievable!

(21 January 2012 12:35 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Redtails, a great story that needs to be told. And George Lucas is definitely in the mix.The dogfight scenes are unbelievable!

(20 January 2012 9:56 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Just saw Red Tails...SPECTACULAR!

(20 January 2012 9:50 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Romney. Gingrich. Santorum: Boolsheet, I say. Boolsheet. Boolsheet. Boooolllsheeeeeat!

(20 January 2012 9:10 AM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Hate when politicians talk to the public like we're all in second grade. They all look like used car salesmen. I call "Boolsheet."

(20 January 2012 9:08 AM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Hey, everybody...Gingrich had a threeway! Romney is secretly Mexican, and Obama is an Afro-Irish-Martian -Muslim! Nooooooo!

(20 January 2012 9:04 AM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @crixlee I'll being my umbrella to LA. And this Hefty trashbag filled with body parts.Uhm... I mean

(19 January 2012 9:29 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Packin' it in. Getting ready for L.A. Waiting for the world to change.

(19 January 2012 9:24 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @Horror_World coming from The Queen of Horror...I'll take THAT as a compliment! (Writing away btw!)

(19 January 2012 4:24 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: IF MITT ROMNEY REALLY IS MY DADDY: I'll sell his other kids to Saudi gun runners and build a gold-plated treehouse just for me and popsy.

(19 January 2012 1:32 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: IF ROMNEY REALLY IS MY DADDY: I'll knock out all my teeth and replace them with tiny silver MITT'S IT! 2012! buttons.

(19 January 2012 1:27 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: IF ROMNEY REALLY IS MY DADDY: I'll make him cradle me in a solid- gold dog crate and carry me around on top of my very own Mazerati.

(19 January 2012 1:23 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @TheStevenWeber But I'm certainly More...man than Jew are! Heyoooooo!

(19 January 2012 1:20 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: IF ROMNEY REALLY IS MY DADDY: I'll make him bottle feed me with champagne and dry- pat my boom-boom with 100 Dollar Bills.

(19 January 2012 1:18 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: And so I'm telling the world, (you too Stalkie) Mitt Romney may be my biological father. (Oh my God... I'm Mormon!)

(19 January 2012 1:12 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @s_g_browne Thanks. How much do you think he'd pay to get them back?

(19 January 2012 1:10 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Got a nice hangup call from my stalker today. He or She must have a lot of time on their hands. Their. Filthy. Little. Hands.

(19 January 2012 1:10 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Struggling with the sneaking suspicion that Mitt Romney might be my biological father.

(19 January 2012 1:07 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: I meant Goodwife. Not 'Goofwife.' Nothing 'Goofy' about my favorite legal show on TV!

(17 January 2012 8:06 AM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Working on The Goofwife this week. Then out to LA.

(16 January 2012 6:15 AM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: I have a stalker. I will stalk this person in return, post unflattering pictures and destroy her with clever taunts and public ridicule.

(13 January 2012 7:53 AM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Alright! Sayin' hello to all my Spanish peeps. In Spain! The 'Bastard' goes international!

(12 January 2012 3:14 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @EdWestwickSpain Ola a mi amigos y amigas in Espana. Felicidades y gracias para mirandar Gossip Girl! (Y lo ciento para mi Espanol malo!)

(12 January 2012 3:12 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @EdWestwickSpain Si! Ola, mi amigos y amigas! Gracias para mirando Gossip Girl!" - "Russell Thorpe"

(12 January 2012 3:06 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: How will Romney satisfy all those Evangelicals who think he represents a 'false' religion? The right wing has really screwed itself.

(12 January 2012 3:03 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Nothing's funnier than watching fundamentalist Christians scream at fundamentalist Mormons. Except maybe teasing Wiccans.

(12 January 2012 3:01 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: I'd bet Donny Osmond's temple garments South Carolina Evangelicals are going to avoid Romney like a hot stool sample.

(12 January 2012 2:56 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Going to a screening of Red Tails. I hear it's phenomenal.

(12 January 2012 1:36 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: I'm a bastard. A big, bald bastard dressed in black.

(11 January 2012 10:13 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: I get nervous when politicians talk about "restoring" America.What's next? Baby whale hunting? Fetal smoking? Midget white Slavery?

(10 January 2012 10:31 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Hey, everybody. A rich hyperconservative won the New Hampshire Primary, and guess what...HE LOVES TO FIRE PEOPLE! Corporate America rocks!

(10 January 2012 10:24 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Hate when politicians evangelize. Santorum, Romney OR Obama. Religious belief: Not interested. Compassion and a working brain...priceless.

(6 January 2012 10:06 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @charliesheen Dude...you bought a new grill? Let's fire that baby up.. Oh

(6 January 2012 9:51 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @kendrybird I look forward to meeting you. You and me over coffee. I'll carry this time:)

(6 January 2012 8:51 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @DianeNeal I'll bring you a signed copy...in HELL!.

(6 January 2012 3:38 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @DianeNeal Miss you, friend of many moons! Hope you're well!

(6 January 2012 3:35 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @traciethoms Honestly...you were great (as usual). But really masterful up there. It was a pleasure watching you.

(6 January 2012 3:34 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @TheStevenWeber No. Because I'm going to slip you with my beater! So there! Eat a big bowl of Go F@(k yourself. HAHAHAHAH!

(6 January 2012 3:32 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @traciethoms You were SPECTACULAR in Stickfly!

(6 January 2012 3:29 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: @traciethoms @DianeNeal. Have a great Friday!

(6 January 2012 3:28 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Just watched Impractical Jokers. Those four assholes are having way more fun than the audience. Laugh it up... dicks.

(6 January 2012 3:26 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Taking a poll. God: 1. Spirit? 2. Magical Old Dude With Beard? 3. Creator of the Atom Who Also Cares If I Sleep With My Neighbor's Goat?

(2 January 2012 6:31 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Then again...I'm an asshole.

(2 January 2012 6:27 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: I think if people gave up religiosity...we'd ultimately be forced to focus our attention right here on Earth and each other.

(2 January 2012 6:27 PM, PST )

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MichaelBoatman_: Come on, Cee Lo..."And All Religions Too?" Wow. Edgy.

(2 January 2012 6:24 PM, PST )

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2012 | 2011 | 2010

83 items from 2012

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