2 items from 2014
I am no more.
But the glorious finale of my life, too brief though watched by millions, was sensual mastication in the mouths of the world's greatest beauties. My only regret, days later whether unnaturally purged or properly digested, is that I never reached the pillowy lips of the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award Winner.
To Angelina... my unrequited love!
10 Ellen DeGeneres for ordering me
06 Jared Leto who had for too long forsaken my brothers and sisters.
05 Julia Roberts you have worshipped her megawatt smile but I have known it intimately.
03 Brad Pitt who so lovingly passed out the paper plates which did cradle me in those final moments and who held me so gently as his perfect teeth pulled desperately at my cheesy surfaces. I »
- GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
Harrison Ford is just like Us -- or, er, our embarrassing dads. Presenting clips from three of the nine nominated films in the Best Picture category at the 86th Annual Academy Awards, the 71-year-old entered the stage inside L.A.'s Dolby Theatre as the Star Wars theme played. And Calista Flockhart's hubby looked natty in a tuxedo, tousled hair, and an unmistakable accessory: a silver hoop earring on his left earlobe. The bling, of course, isn't new. The Indiana Jones star famously got his ear pierced on his [...] »
2 items from 2014
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