Mackiatoe's Worst Films of All Time

I've watched many films that I didn't like, but these are the ones that are truly terrible. Avoid these like the plague.
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war. (150 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
“ The worst film ever made. There is nothing good about this abomination. Apalling acting, rubbish dialogue, annoying characters, some truly horrific/awful scenes, a constant feeling of lack of enthusiasm from the cast & production team etc and the entire thing is far, far too long. Half of it is a TV commercial and the rest is just mindless explosions and violence.

Nope, there is nothing worse than this. It's 150 minutes of my life wasted.

NA/10 ” - Mackiatoe
The Room (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.6/10 X  
Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée, Lisa. One day, inexplicably, she gets bored with him and decides to seduce his best friend, Mark. From there, nothing will be the same again. (99 mins.)
Director: Tommy Wiseau
“ Nope. This isn't even worth my time.

0/10 ” - Mackiatoe
High School Musical 2 (2007 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  
School's out for summer and the East High Wildcats are ready to make it the time of their lives after landing jobs in a wealthy country club owned by Sharpay and Ryan's family. (104 mins.)
Director: Kenny Ortega
“ I can forgive the first HSM film as it's just a TV movie. I can't forgive this one, for the simple reason that Disney allowed this to be made. It's about as tacky a film you will ever watch, full of ridiculous stereotypes, some seriously cringey scenes and some of the most annoying characters ever to be put into a film. How this got an extended edition is beyond me, because it doesn't deserve it.

0/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam (2010 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
Mitchie can't wait to return to camp rock so that she and love-interest Shane can spend the summer making... (97 mins.)
Director: Paul Hoen
“ What a surprise, another Disney Channel movie! Just like with HSM, the first CR film can be exempted because it's nothing more than a TV film. This one gets the position of 4th worst film ever made because it's far more of an insult to music than a 'movie'. More reasons to dislike Disney Channel...

1/10 ” - Mackiatoe
The Cat in the Hat (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
Two bored children have their lives turned upside down when a talking cat comes to visit them. (82 mins.)
Director: Bo Welch
“ What a vile, disgusting and disturbing creation this is. Despite it's childish and funny origins, this film manages to be so bad it can't even be considered 'funny because it's bad'.

1/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
The Fantastic Four learn that they aren't the only super-powered beings in the universe when they square off against the powerful Silver Surfer and the planet-eating Galactus. (92 mins.)
Director: Tim Story
“ It's hard to put into words what went wrong here, but to put it briefly, Marvel managed to cock up one of their comics so badly that it's a shameful letdown to fans of the series. It's without direction, coordination or enjoyment, devoid of life and emotion. It's barely a film at all.

1/10 ” - Mackiatoe
High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
As seniors in high school, Troy and Gabriella struggle with the idea of being separated from one another as college approaches. Along with the rest of the Wildcats, they stage a spring musical to address their experiences, hopes and fears about their future. (112 mins.)
Director: Kenny Ortega
“ They made 3 HSM films. That is a problem.

1/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
Ten years after initially meeting, Anakin Skywalker shares a forbidden romance with Padmé, while Obi-Wan investigates an assassination attempt on the Senator and discovers a secret clone army crafted for the Jedi. (142 mins.)
Director: George Lucas
“ If Empire Strikes Back was the pinnacle of the original saga, AotC was the low point of the prequels. Some of the worst writing ever put into a film can be found here, with terrible characters and lifeless story. Such a lack of effort in this's almost a shame. And I'm sorry, for a film that 'prides' itself in having huge amounts of CGI, did they really have to make it look like a N64 game?

2/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Meet the Spartans (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.7/10 X  
The heroic Spartan king Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag... (86 mins.)
“ There's trash, and then there's this.
It has a scene when a man gets his nipple ripped off. I gave up hope there.

2/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Grown Ups 2 (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
After moving his family back to his hometown to be with his friends and their kids, Lenny finds out that between old bullies, new bullies, schizo bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, and 400 costumed party crashers sometimes crazy follows you. (101 mins.)
Director: Dennis Dugan
“ Do you like fart jokes, vomit, crappy acting, cheesy dialogue, and would like it wrapped up into something that has no story at all? You've found your ideal film.

2/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
The Autobots learn of a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden on the moon, and race against the Decepticons to reach it and to learn its secrets. (154 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
“ It's Revenge of the Fallen, only more explosive and stupid. But unbelievably, it's slightly better, only because [SPOILERS...not that you'd want to watch this anyway)] of the scene where Chicago gets attacked. Which was pretty cool. But even that was a bit rubbish.

2/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.5/10 X  
The world famous singing pre-teen chipmunk trio return to contend with the pressures of school, celebrity, and a rival female music group known as The Chipettes. (88 mins.)
Director: Betty Thomas
“ It makes some fairly good comments on what's wrong with the music industry. But I'd be surprised if any child who watched this actually felt entertained at any moment while watching it.

2/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Total Recall (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall - a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led - goes wrong and he finds himself on the run. (118 mins.)
Director: Len Wiseman
“ A film that manages to take a colossal steaming dump on the original, while also being absolute crap at the same time.

2/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
Adventuress Lara Croft goes on a quest to save the mythical Pandora's Box before an evil scientist and recruits a former Marine turned mercenary to assist her. (117 mins.)
Director: Jan de Bont
“ The only thing that saves this film (to an extent) is that it's so ridiculous that it's sometimes enjoyable. That still doesn't get away from the fact that it's a terrible film.

2/10 ” - Mackiatoe
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
Former cop Brian O'Conner is called upon to bust a dangerous criminal and he recruits the help of a former childhood friend and street racer who has a chance to redeem himself. (107 mins.)
Director: John Singleton
“ Why...why do you have to be so bad? I rather like the F&F series, even if the films aren't perfect, but this makes Tokyo Drift look like Forest Gump. And Tokyo Drift was rubbish.

2/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Pearl Harbor (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
A tale of war and romance mixed in with history. The story follows two lifelong friends and a beautiful nurse who are caught up in the horror of an infamous Sunday morning in 1941. (183 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
“ Michael Bay makes yet another apearance with by far his most annoying film of all time. Sure, the attack scene on Pearl Harbor is very good, but it's a 30 minute long scene in a film that's 180 minutes long. It should have been called "Soppy WW2 Love Story The Features Pearl Harbor In Its Plot".

3/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Shrek the Third (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
When his new father-in-law, King Harold falls ill, Shrek is looked at as the heir to the land of Far, Far Away. Not one to give up his beloved swamp, Shrek recruits his friends Donkey and Puss in Boots to install the rebellious Artie as the new king. Princess Fiona, however, rallies a band of royal girlfriends to fend off a coup d'etat by the jilted Prince Charming. (93 mins.)
“ When the 1st and 2nd films were so good, why did they decide Shrek needed to be completely changed? God knows why, but one thing's for sure, Shrek The Third sucks.

3/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Equilibrium (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.5/10 X  
In a fascist future where all forms of feeling are illegal, a man in charge of enforcing the law rises to overthrow the system. (107 mins.)
Director: Kurt Wimmer
“ What an awful waste of some great actors. It's clearly a rip off of The Matrix, but for god's sake, you could have made it a good rip off...

3/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Battleship (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals. (131 mins.)
Director: Peter Berg
“ Did Peter Berg feel inspired by Michael Bay or something? Because it feels to me that Battleship is just Transformers, only on Hawaii. That's not a compliment, by the way.

3/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Babylon A.D. (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Veteran-turned-mercenary Toorop takes the high-risk job of escorting a woman from Russia to America. Little does he know that she is host to an organism that a cult wants to harvest in order to produce a genetically modified Messiah. (101 mins.)
“ At no point during this did I think "I know what's going on in this film". I've still yet to work out its name as well. It's Future Noire gone wrong.

3/10 ” - Mackiatoe
Terminator Salvation (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
In 2018, a mysterious new weapon in the war against the machines, half-human and half-machine, comes to John Connor on the eve of a resistance attack on Skynet. But whose side is he on, and can he be trusted? (115 mins.)
Director: McG
“ Christian Bale is wasted yet again in a film that proves that Terminator should have just been a trilogy. Sure, seeing Earth after Judgement Day is a nice idea, but Salvation completely ruins it.

4/10 ” - Mackiatoe