My Favourite Episodes of "The Simpsons"
In chronological order.
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- DirectorRich MooreStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightHomer lies on a medical insurance form in order to obtain a miracle hair restoring drug.Montgomery Burns: "You may find this hard to believe, but in my salad days, my crowning glory was a bright shock of strawberry blonde curls."
- 1989– 23mTV-PG8.0 (4.4K)TV EpisodeDirectorWesley ArcherStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightAfter the power plant experiences bad publicity and is threatened with closure, Mr. Burns decides to run for Governor in order to have power over the law.Marge Simpson: "Homer, we're a Mary Bailey family."
Homer Simpson: "Mary Bailey isn't going to fire me if I don't vote for her."
Lisa Simpson: "Ooh, a political discussion at the breakfast table! I feel like a Kennedy!" - DirectorRich MooreStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightLisa has a crush on her substitute teacher; Bart decides to run for class president.Homer: "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
- DirectorWesley ArcherStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightBart, Milhouse and Martin each pitch in to buy an highly-collectible "Radioactive Man" comic book, which soon has a disastrous effect on their friendship.Bart: "I am through with working. Working is for chumps."
Homer: "Son, I am proud of you. I was twice your age when I figured that out." - DirectorCarlos BaezaStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightHomer buys Lisa a pony that the family can ill afford.Marge: "We're just going to have to cut down on luxuries."
Homer: "Well, you know, we're always buying Maggie vaccinations for diseases she doesn't even have!" - DirectorRich MooreAlan SmartStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightMoe claims a drink that Homer invented is his own, with the drink making the bar a local hot spot, but threatens his friendship with Homer.Professor Frink: "All right, according to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is... love? Who's been screwing with this thing?"
- DirectorRich MooreStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightMarge stars in a musical adaptation of A Streetcar Named Desire, but is angry with Homer's lack of interest; Maggie squares off with her strict new daycare owner.Bart: "Are there any Jive-Talking Robots in this play?"
Marge: "I don't think so."
Homer: "Bart, don't ask stupid questions. Is there any frontal nudity?"
Marge: "No, Homer." - DirectorJim ReardonStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightHomer opens a successful snow-plowing business, only to inspire Barney to start a rival outfit that puts him out of work.Adam West:"I suppose you’re only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer? Ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt. And I didn’t need molded plastic to improve my physique. Pure. West. And why doesn’t Batman dance anymore? Remember the Batusi?"
- DirectorMark KirklandStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightWhile trying to coax Maggie into saying her first word, Homer and Marge talk about how Lisa spoke hers.Homer: "Wow. A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life?"
- DirectorDavid SilvermanStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightYears of poor eating habits catch up with Homer when he suffers a massive heart attack, but the family can't afford the triple bypass operation he needs.Dr. Julius Hibbert: "Homer, I'm afraid you'll have to undergo a coronary bypass operation."
Homer Simpson: Say it in English, Doc!"
Dr. Julius Hibbert: "You're going to need open-heart surgery."
Homer Simpson: Spare me your medical mumbo jumbo!"
Dr. Julius Hibbert: "We're going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker."
Homer Simpson: Could you dumb it down a shade?" - DirectorRich MooreStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightAfter receiving a considerable donation of money, Springfield builds a monorail system with Homer as the conductor, unaware they've just boarded a one-way train to Hell.Marge: "Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you."
Homer: "Batman?"
Marge: "No, he's a scientist."
Homer: "Batman's a scientist."
Marge: "It's NOT Batman." - DirectorWesley ArcherStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightLisa gives Ralph a Valentine's card out of pity, but soon regrets it when he develops an unwanted crush on her.Miss Hoover: "Do you want to play John Wilkes Booth, or do you want to act like a maniac?"
- DirectorMark KirklandStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightWhen Mr. Burns revokes the plant's dental plan, forcing Lisa to be fitted with cheap, ugly braces, Homer leads its union into going on strike.Homer: "So what does this job pay?"
Lenny: "Nothing."
Homer: "D'oh!"
Lenny: "Unless you're crooked."
Homer: "WOOHOO!" - DirectorJeffrey LynchStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightAfter joining the Junior Campers while on a sugar high, Bart reluctantly invites Homer to accompany him on the group's annual father-son rafting trip, which soon goes awry.Homer: "Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut."
Homer's Brain: "Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts."
Homer: "Explain how."
Homer's Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."
Homer: "WOOHOO!" - DirectorCarlos BaezaStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightHomer's marriage is in trouble when he develops an attraction to a new co-worker; Bart undergoes medical treatments that make him look like a nerd.Mindy: "What's wrong?"
Homer: "Oh yeah, like you don't know! We're gonna have sex."
Mindy: "Oh ... well, we don't have to."
Homer: "Yes, we do. The cookie told me so."
Mindy: "Well, desserts aren't always right."
Homer: "But they're so sweet." - 1989– 30mTV-148.6 (3.7K)TV EpisodeDirectorWesley ArcherStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightMr. Burns builds a casino when Springfield decides to legalize gambling, with Marge becoming addicted to the slot machines.Kent Brockman: "Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for Philosophy majors - useful people are starting to feel the pinch."
- DirectorCarlos BaezaStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightHomer begins teaching a class on how to have a successful marriage, but jeopardizes his own marriage by revealing secrets about himself and Marge.Homer: "Look Marge, you don't know what it's like - I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order. You're out of order. The whole freakin' system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth. 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do. Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown."
- DirectorJim ReardonStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightHomer becomes a member of a mysterious organization called the Stonecutters and is heralded as "the chosen one".Marge Simpson: "Kids can be so cruel."
Bart Simpson: "We can? Thanks Mom!" - DirectorJim ReardonStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightWhen a group of Shelbyville kids steal Springfield's sacred lemon tree, Bart and his friends venture there to get the tree back.Shelbyville Manhattan: " I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins!"
- DirectorJeffrey LynchStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightAfter Mr. Burns steals oil from Springfield Elementary and blocks out the sun, an unknown person shoots him.Lunchlady Doris: "The cafeteria staff is complaining about the mice in the kitchen. I want to hire a new staff."
- DirectorWesley ArcherStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightWhile Mr. Burns is hospitalized, an investigation into his shooter begins; although Smithers initially suspects himself, a trace of Simpson DNA narrows down the list of possible culprits.Kent Brockman: "At 3:00 PM Friday, local autocrat C. Montgomery Burns was shot, following a tense confrontation at town hall. He was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then taken to a better hospital where his condition was upgraded to alive."
- DirectorMark KirklandStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightA trip to a local petting zoo convinces Lisa to give up meat, despite excessive pressure to convince her not to do so.Lisa:"Good news, everyone! You don't have to eat meat! I've got enough gazpacho for everyone."
Barney:" Go back to Russia!" - DirectorDavid SilvermanStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightAfter faking his own death, Homer is reunited with his mother, who harbors a deep secret.Mr. Burns: "My germs! My precious germs! They never harmed a soul! They never had the chance!"
- DirectorMark KirklandStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightAfter realizing how unpopular she is, a disillusioned Lisa sees the vacation to Ned Flanders' beach house as an opportunity to reinvent herself.Lisa: "These are my only friends. Grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal, and even he's kissed more boys than I ever will."
Marge: "Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls." - DirectorSteven Dean MooreStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightHomer is cast as Poochie, a new "Itchy and Scratchy" character designed to reverse declining ratings; a hip college student moves in with the Simpsons.Comic Book Guy: “Worst. Episode. Ever.”
- DirectorMike B. AndersonStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightAfter Marge befriends John, a gay store owner, Homer worries that his presence will have a negative effect on Bart's sexuality.Moe: Come on, don't take this so hard, Homer. You still got that other kid, uh... Lisa. Let's, uh, take her out hunting tomorrow; make her into a man.
Homer: Aw, she'd never go. She's a vegetarian.
Moe: Oh, geez! Homer, geez! You and Marge ain't cousins, are you? - DirectorJim ReardonStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightHomer's laziness begets the ire of his industrious but arrogant new co-worker Frank Grimes; Bart buys a run-down factory for a dollar.Grimes: "God, he eats like a pig!"
Lenny: "I dunno. Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck." - DirectorJim ReardonMike B. AndersonStarsDan CastellanetaJulie KavnerNancy CartwrightAfter a disastrous performance, Krusty changes his image and becomes an edgy stand-up.Marge: "Four drink minimum?"
Homer: "I'll cover you, honey."