Movies That Aren't As Good As They're Made Out To Be
Throughout the history of cinema there have been movies that are awarded the title of "classic". Some of these are very well deserved...but then there are others that really fall short (these are in no particular order)
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- DirectorStanley KubrickStarsMatthew ModineR. Lee ErmeyVincent D'OnofrioA pragmatic U.S. Marine observes the dehumanizing effects the Vietnam War has on his fellow recruits from their brutal boot camp training to the bloody street fighting in Hue.Said to be one of the best war movies ever made but the best part of the movie is the first half in the boot camp with R. Lee Ermey as the foul mouthed, tough as nails drill sergeant. The movie then falls downhill upon reaching Vietnam.
- DirectorWes CravenStarsHeather LangenkampJohnny DeppRobert EnglundTeenager Nancy Thompson must uncover the dark truth concealed by her parents after she and her friends become targets of the spirit of a serial killer with a bladed glove in their dreams, in which if they die, it kills them in real life.This movie was described to me as the reason I would never want to fall asleep ever again and that I would be cowering behind the sofa. What it did instead was keep me firmly sat on the sofa with no cowering, screaming in terror and no fear of falling asleep. The movie was odd but was far from scary
- DirectorChristopher NolanStarsChristian BaleHeath LedgerAaron EckhartWhen the menace known as the Joker wreaks havoc and chaos on the people of Gotham, Batman must accept one of the greatest psychological and physical tests of his ability to fight injustice.Constantly being named the "best comic book/superhero movie ever made" and seen as something that all others should be like. It is anything but. Ledger's portrayal as the Joker and his posthumous award seem to be the only reason this movie gets it's praise as horrible as that sounds, everything else is pretty much nothing extraordinary and nothing that hasn't been seen or done in comic book movies prior. This is also the source of all the irritating batman fanboys
- DirectorTerrence MalickStarsJim CaviezelSean PennNick NolteAdaptation of James Jones' autobiographical 1962 novel, focusing on the conflict at Guadalcanal during the second World War.This lost out to Saving Private Ryan but many have considered it better. There's a reason it lost out and that is it's so boring and slow. War movies need a slow moment, Saving Private Ryan had them but this movie is made up almost entirely of them, it's one of the few movies I have had to fast forward through in order to watch it
- DirectorTravis KnightStarsCharlize TheronArt ParkinsonMatthew McConaugheyA young boy named Kubo must locate a magical suit of armour worn by his late father in order to defeat a vengeful spirit from the past.Apparently "never judge a book by it's cover" never came up when people reviewed this movie. In this case the cover is the animation which is very well done but the story is incredibly weak and boring and the main character is bratty and generally unlikeable. It was ultimately all flash no bang
- DirectorRidley ScottStarsRussell CroweJoaquin PhoenixConnie NielsenA former Roman General sets out to exact vengeance against the corrupt emperor who murdered his family and sent him into slavery.I wanted to like this film, I really did, I'm fascinated by history and who doesn't like seeing Roman gladiators fight to the death? Unfortunately the film wasn't all too great, the plot felt a bit underwhelming and only two scenes really stood out amongst the whole movie. "Are you not entertained?" sadly I wasn't entertained
- DirectorStanley KubrickStarsJack NicholsonShelley DuvallDanny LloydA family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter where a sinister presence influences the father into violence, while his psychic son sees horrific forebodings from both past and future.Another supposed masterpiece of cinema that was more confusing and odd than scary, the only thing that really raises it's score for me is the famous "heeeere's Johnny!" line
- DirectorSean S. CunninghamStarsBetsy PalmerAdrienne KingJeannine TaylorA group of teenage camp counselors attempt to re-open an abandoned summer camp with a tragic past, but they are stalked by a mysterious, relentless killer.Yet another horror classic that really didn't scare me in the slightest with laughable blood effects, predictable deaths and a jump scare that could be seen a mile away
- DirectorMary HarronStarsChristian BaleJustin TherouxJosh LucasA wealthy New York City investment banking executive, Patrick Bateman, hides his alternate psychopathic ego from his co-workers and friends as he delves deeper into his violent, hedonistic fantasies.Boring would be an understatement for this movie, I was expecting it to be full of vicious murders based on how others had spoken about it to me but aside from one rather humourous scene involving the murder of Jared Leto's character, the chainsaw chase and the homeless guy there wasn't much else, held off from fast forwarding through this as I hoped there would be more but sadly not
- DirectorHideaki AnnoShinji HiguchiStarsHiroki HasegawaYutaka TakenouchiSatomi IshiharaJapan is plunged into chaos upon the appearance of a giant monster.Nothing really happens in this movie, I'm a fan of the old Godzilla movies the 1954 original being one of the best but what makes it different from Shin Godzilla is that it's far more interesting despite having a simple plot and no monster to fight. While the evolution idea is interesting, the rest of the movie is severely lacking, Godzilla's design is one of the worst since the bug-eyed flat-faced ones from the 70s and it's incredibly slow there's less of Godzilla in this than in the 2014 Legendary movie. As I've said before, if this was the answer to Legendary Godzilla then it's one that should've gone straight to the answer machine