The Worst Films I've Seen

I've seen a lot of bad films, some of which are actually enjoyable (I have a blog titled Michael Doherty's Good Things About Bad Movies, where I review many of them). This list includes the worst films I've sat through, some of them having absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Some of these, like the 2013 Romeo And Juliet, serious angered me. There are films on this list that I would like to cause physical harm to (were that possible). Others are just bad. They're not in any particular order.
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1.
Teenage Caveman (2002 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
Teens encounter people, who, after being used as guinea pigs for the experimental testing of a virus can live forever in a post apocalyptic world. (86 mins.)
Director: Larry Clark
 
2.
Hail Caesar (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
Caesar is a would-be rock star. But for now, he works at a pencil eraser factory. Soon he falls in love with the owner's daughter... (100 mins.)
“ I posted a Good Things About Bad Movies review of this one. ” - arcticcarrot
 
3.
The Bunker (2014)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
"The Bunker," is a fictional war torn valor story of heroism, set in the uncharted lands of "The Ho Bo Woods" in southern Vietnam 1965... (90 mins.)
Director: Joe Black
 
4.
Harper Valley P.T.A. (1978)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
Stella Johnson is a single mother living in the town of Harper Valley. Now most of the townspeople, particularly on the PTA board... (93 mins.)
“ Good song, terrible film. ” - arcticcarrot
 
5.
The Bad News Bears Go to Japan (1978)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  
In this third film of the Bad News Bears series, Tony Curtis plays a small time promoter/hustler who... (91 mins.)
Director: John Berry
 
6.
Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast (2011 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.9/10 X  
12 years ago during a scientific expedition 3 animal biologists stumbled upon a great discovery that ended in tragedy. Whatever killed them has awoken and now the legend of the Ancient Snow Beast could prove to be more than just a legend. (79 mins.)
Director: Sam Qualiana
 
7.
Succubus: Hell-Bent (2007 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
Sometimes what happens at Spring Break doesn't stay at Spring Break... it follows you home. (96 mins.)
Director: Kim Bass
 
8.
He Said, She Said (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Dan and Lorie are journalists working in the same office. More often than not they have opposing view of the issue in question... (115 mins.)
 
9.
Howling II: ... Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  
A young man whose sister was murdered by werewolves helps an investigator track down a gang of the monsters through the United States and Europe. (91 mins.)
Director: Philippe Mora
 
10.
Return from Witch Mountain (1978)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
Tia and her brother Tony have supernatural powers, can communicate and move things with the power of their mind alone... (95 mins.)
Director: John Hough
 
11.
Domestic Disturbance (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
A divorced father discovers that his 12-year-old son's new stepfather is not what he made himself out to be. (89 mins.)
Director: Harold Becker
 
12.
The Butterfly Effect 2 (2006 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.4/10 X  
Nick Larson discovers a supernatural way to alter his life and travel back in time to key moments in his life by looking at photographs. (92 mins.)
 
13.
B*A*P*S (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
Two tacky homegirls move to L.A. to become dancers; instead they scam a dying millionaire but eventually become B*A*P*S (Black American Princesses). (91 mins.)
Director: Robert Townsend
“ I saw this film by mistake. I can't remember what film my girlfriend and I had intended to see, but we must have gone into the wrong theatre or something. Ugh. Halle Berry is one of the worst actors ever. (And yes, Monsters Ball is on this list too.) ” - arcticcarrot
 
14.
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
Serial killer Jason Voorhees' supernatural origins are revealed. (87 mins.)
Director: Adam Marcus
“ I posted a Good Things About Bad Movies review of this one. ” - arcticcarrot
 
15.
Darkness (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
A teenage girl moves into a remote countryside house with her family, only to discover that their gloomy new home has a horrifying past that threatens to destroy the family. (88 mins.)
“ Nice shots of the hallway. Too bad none of it means anything. My brother still mentions this film to me. We're both still angry that we wasted a couple of hours in the theatre more than a decade ago watching this dreadful mess. ” - arcticcarrot
 
16.
Boxing Helena (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
A surgeon becomes obsessed with the seductive woman he once was in an affair with. Refusing to accept that she has moved on, he amputates her limbs and holds her captive in his mansion. (107 mins.)
“ This movie angered me because it could have been good. If only it had done everything differently. ” - arcticcarrot
 
17.
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
A boatful of graduating high school students bound for Manhattan accidentally pull Jason Voorhees along for the ride. (100 mins.)
Director: Rob Hedden
“ This one doesn't make a lick of sense, but I had a good time tearing it apart in my Good Things About Bad Movies review. ” - arcticcarrot
 
18.
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.7/10 X  
Dodger must confront the struggles of life as he is visited by the Garbage Pail Kids and intimidated by some older bullies. (100 mins.)
Director: Rod Amateau
 
19.
The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
In order to support her ten children, Evelyn Ryan enters a commercial jingle-writing contest. (99 mins.)
Director: Jane Anderson
“ This film baffled me by just how bad it was. I love Julianne Moore, but she's been in a couple of real stinkers (this and Nine Months). ” - arcticcarrot
 
20.
Domino (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
A recounting of Domino Harvey's life story. The daughter of actor Laurence Harvey turned away from her career as a Ford model to become a bounty hunter. (127 mins.)
Director: Tony Scott
“ Every single frame of this film is awful. I had nothing good to say in my Good Things About Bad Movies review of this one. ” - arcticcarrot
 
21.
A Guy Thing (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
A soon-to-be husband wakes up on the morning after his bachelor party in bed with another woman. (101 mins.)
Director: Chris Koch
 
22.
Evita (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
The hit musical based on the life of Evita Duarte, a B-picture Argentinian actress who eventually became the wife of Argentinian president Juan Perón, and the most beloved and hated woman in Argentina. (135 mins.)
Director: Alan Parker
“ One of the most painful movie-going experiences of my life. It's one two-and-a-half-hour song. And it's not a very good song. ” - arcticcarrot
 
23.
Nothing But Trouble (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
A businessman and his friends are captured by a sadistic judge and his equally odd family in the backwoods of a bizarre mansion. (94 mins.)
Director: Dan Aykroyd
“ Some talented people, but the result is a complete turd. ” - arcticcarrot
 
24.
Supergirl (1984)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
After losing a powerful orb, Kara, Superman's cousin, comes to Earth to retrieve it and instead finds herself up against a wicked witch. (105 mins.)
Director: Jeannot Szwarc
 
25.
Nine Months (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
When he finds out his longtime girlfriend is pregnant, a commitment-phobe realizes he might have to change his lifestyle for better or much, much worse. (103 mins.)
Director: Chris Columbus
“ Great cast, but one of the worst films of all time. Unbearable. ” - arcticcarrot
 
26.
Luckytown (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.7/10 X  
Kirsten Dunst plays a young woman (Lidda), who is searching for her father (James Caan). She finds herself at odds with her boyfriend who wants nothing but a carefree lifestyle. (101 mins.)
Director: Paul Nicolas
“ I went to a cast-and-crew screening of this film, and was able to hold my laughter inside until the end, when it just burst out. I didn't feel the least bit bad. They should have felt bad for wasting my time. ” - arcticcarrot
 
27.
Skeleton Man (2004 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.0/10 X  
A co-ed group of Special Forces agents search the wilderness for a predator type creature that has been on a killing spree. (95 mins.)
Director: Johnny Martin
 
28.
Dying God (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.6/10 X  
In a dark and decadent city, Sean Fallon - a corrupt cop - will have to face his own demons to put an... (85 mins.)
Director: Fabrice Lambot
“ Lance Henriksen, why? Why? Why? Why? And again, Why? ” - arcticcarrot
 
29.
Suburban Madness (2004 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
Based on the real story of Clara Harris, the Houston, Texas dentist who made headlines in July 2002 when she killed her adulterous husband by repeatedly running over him with her car. (120 mins.)
Director: Robert Dornhelm
 
30.
Final Voyage (1999)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
This is the story of a modern day pirate mad man and his crew of 8, searching for fortune on a cruise ship but a small group of passengers fight back. (95 mins.)
Director: Jay Andrews
“ Ice-T can't act. At all. I mean, at all. Why does anyone put him in anything? ” - arcticcarrot
 
31.
Romeo & Juliet (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
Romeo and Juliet secretly wed despite the sworn contempt their families hold for each other. It is not long, however, before a chain of fateful events changes the lives of both families forever. (113 mins.)
Director: Carlo Carlei
“ Shakespeare is one of my passions. I've seen hundreds of film adaptations of his plays, and this one is far and away the worst. No one involved in this film had any understanding of the play. I hope I get the chance to make Julian Fellowes answer for his screenplay. ” - arcticcarrot
 
32.
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.9/10 X  
A listless and alienated teenager decides to help his new friend win the class presidency in their small western high school, while he must deal with his bizarre family life back home. (96 mins.)
Director: Jared Hess
“ It shocks me that people like this film. This is one that has absolutely nothing good about it. That it has a relatively high rating seems evidence that the general population is made up of imbeciles. ” - arcticcarrot
 
33.
Midnight Mass (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
A group of people fight for their small town after vampires take over the world. (98 mins.)
Director: Tony Mandile
“ Oh boy. ” - arcticcarrot
 
34.
The Expendables (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A CIA operative hires a team of mercenaries to eliminate a Latin dictator and a renegade CIA agent. (103 mins.)
“ A few talented people, a few talentless people, but an absolutely awful film. I hated every second of it. ” - arcticcarrot
 
35.
Cast Away (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
A FedEx executive must transform himself physically and emotionally to survive a crash landing on a deserted island. (143 mins.)
Director: Robert Zemeckis
“ I hate Tom Hanks. And Cast Away is the most self-indulgent tripe he's done yet. ” - arcticcarrot
 
36.
Mamma Mia! (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
The story of a bride-to-be trying to find her real father told using hit songs by the popular 1970s group ABBA. (108 mins.)
Director: Phyllida Lloyd
“ It was fascinating to watch Meryl Streep suck. I'd never seen her suck before. This is probably the stupidest film I've ever seen. ” - arcticcarrot
 
37.
Marie Antoinette (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
The retelling of France's iconic but ill-fated queen, Marie Antoinette. From her betrothal and marriage to Louis XVI at 15 to her reign as queen at 19 and to the end of her reign as queen, and ultimately the fall of Versailles. (123 mins.)
Director: Sofia Coppola
 
38.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
Edward leaves Bella after an attack that nearly claimed her life, and in her depression she falls into yet another paranormal relationship - this time with werewolf Jacob Black. (130 mins.)
Director: Chris Weitz
“ Everyone knows this is terrible, but I still had fun writing my Good Things About Bad Movies review of it. ” - arcticcarrot
 
39.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
Three film students vanish after traveling into a Maryland forest to film a documentary on the local Blair Witch legend, leaving only their footage behind. (81 mins.)
“ There is nothing to this film. Nothing. And their whole marketing scheme that everyone thinks was brilliant was just a rip-off of that for Cannibal Holocaust. ” - arcticcarrot
 
40.
Ghost Rider (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
Stunt motorcyclist Johnny Blaze gives up his soul to become a hellblazing vigilante, to fight against power hungry Blackheart, the son of the devil himself. (114 mins.)
 
41.
Showgirls (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.7/10 X  
Nomi, a young drifter, arrives in Las Vegas to become a dancer and soon sets about clawing and pushing her way to become the top of the Vegas showgirls. (128 mins.)
Director: Paul Verhoeven
 
42.
S.W.A.T. (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
An imprisoned drug kingpin offers a huge cash reward to anyone that can break him out of police custody and only the LAPD's Special Weapons and Tactics team can prevent it. (117 mins.)
Director: Clark Johnson
 
43.
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  
The Angels investigate a series of murders which occur after the theft of a witness protection profile database. (106 mins.)
Director: McG
“ In a better world, someone who calls himself McG wouldn't be allowed to make films. ” - arcticcarrot
 
44.
Dinner for Schmucks (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
When he finds out that his work superiors host a dinner celebrating the idiocy of their guests, a rising executive questions it when he's invited, just as he befriends a man who would be the perfect guest. (114 mins.)
Director: Jay Roach
“ Steve Carrell seems like a funny guy. So why are all of his films (with the exception of Little Miss Sunshine) terrible? ” - arcticcarrot
 
45.
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
Teenager Darren Shan meets a mysterious man at a freak show who turns out to be a vampire. After a series of events Darren must leave his normal life and go on the road with the Cirque du Freak and become a vampire. (109 mins.)
Director: Paul Weitz
 
46.
Crash (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
After getting into a serious car accident, a TV director discovers an underground sub-culture of scarred, omnisexual car-crash victims who use car accidents and the raw sexual energy they produce to try to rejuvenate his sex life with his wife. (100 mins.)
 
47.
Any Given Sunday (1999)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
A behind-the-scenes look at the life-and-death struggles of modern-day gladiators and those who lead them. (162 mins.)
Director: Oliver Stone
 
48.
Dreamgirls (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A trio of black female soul singers cross over to the pop charts in the early 1960s, facing their own personal struggles along the way. (130 mins.)
Director: Bill Condon
 
49.
The Black Dahlia (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Two policemen see their personal and professional lives fall apart in the wake of the "Black Dahlia" murder investigation. (121 mins.)
Director: Brian De Palma
“ Brian De Palma should never be allowed anywhere near a camera. ” - arcticcarrot
 
50.
Dan in Real Life (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
A widower finds out the woman he fell in love with is his brother's girlfriend. (98 mins.)
Director: Peter Hedges
“ Steve Carrell seems like a funny guy. So why are all of his films (with the exception of Little Miss Sunshine) terrible? ” - arcticcarrot
 
51.
Cop Out (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Jimmy's rare baseball card is robbed. Since it's his only hope to pay for his daughter's upcoming wedding, he recruits his cop partner Paul to track down the robber, a memorabilia-obsessed gangster. (107 mins.)
Director: Kevin Smith
“ This is when Kevin Smith died for me. ” - arcticcarrot
 
52.
Monster's Ball (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
After a family tragedy, a racist prison guard reexamines his attitudes while falling in love with the African American wife of the last prisoner he executed. (111 mins.)
Director: Marc Forster
“ Halle Berry can't act. Nothing in this film is the least bit believable. Why do people like this one? ” - arcticcarrot
 
53.
Because I Said So (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
A meddling mother tries to set her daughter up with the right man so her kid won't follow in her footsteps. (102 mins.)
Director: Michael Lehmann
“ Remember when Diane Keaton used to do good films? Think back at least three decades. ” - arcticcarrot
 
54.
Return of the Boogeyman (1994 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.4/10 X  
Poor Annie every time she falls asleep, her dreams are haunted by visions of a faceless man committing unspeakable crimes... (76 mins.)
Director: Deland Nuse
“ If I were forced to choose the worst film I've ever seen, this would be it. It's hardly a film at all. ” - arcticcarrot
 
55.
Witchouse II: Blood Coven (2000 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.7/10 X  
When an old house in a small town is razed to make way for a shopping mall, the crew unearths four unmarked graves... (77 mins.)
Director: J.R. Bookwalter
“ You know a film is going to be awful when the filmmakers can't even spell the first word of the title correctly. Witch-ouse? Or is it Wit-chouse? ” - arcticcarrot
 
56.
Dead & Nowhere (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.2/10 X  
Homicide cop Ray Maldonado has found a third dead hooker in as many days. The realization that he's got a serial killer on his hands hits him... (90 mins.)
Director: Russ Barnes
 
57.
Miao jie shi san mei (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
Two young women caught in a power struggle among a trio of mobsters must struggle to survive in a world run by vice and corruption. (84 mins.)
Director: Sung Pe Liu
 
58.
Treasure of the Four Crowns (1983)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
A group of adventurers are gathered together to retrieve some mystical gems which are in the possession of a deadly cult. (97 mins.)
“ Wow. Stunningly bad. No script, dull actors, the worst special effects of all time. And why did the camera man never check the gate or clean the lens? Geez. ” - arcticcarrot
 
59.
Eroddity(s) (2014)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.0/10 X  
This four story anthology offers a voyeuristic window into the lives of ten gay youths. Follow as they enter a world of the odd, the erotic and the supernatural. (70 mins.)
Director: Steven Vasquez
“ It's just this side of porn, but the performances and music aren't quite as good as those found in porn. ” - arcticcarrot