Masters of Horror: Best to Worst

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1.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  
Anchor Bay has amassed some of the greatest horror film writers and directors to bring to you the anthology series... (60 mins.)
 
2.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.7/10 X  
With a torrid past that haunts him, a movie theatre owner is hired to search for the only existing print of a film so notorious that its single screening caused the viewers to become homicidally insane. (60 mins.)
“ 9/10

John Carpenter is one of the most consistently good horror directors, and the plot is similar to 'In the Mouth of Madness'. ” - GTeixeira
 
3.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Dream Cruise (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
Absolutely terrified of the sea, an American lawyer reluctantly goes on an ocean cruise to be near the wife of a client, with no idea of the grim situation that awaits them all. (60 mins.)
“ 9/10

Exactly how an horror should be. It's dark, nightmarish, intelligent, well acted, without having to resort to gore/blood/sadism all the time.

The overly simplistic happy ending, while not exactly the best way to end it, was a refreshing change from the rest of the series ” - GTeixeira
 
4.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: The Black Cat (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.9/10 X  
The Black Cat, set in 1840 Philadelphia, has the great writer Edgar Allan Poe, struggling with alcoholism... (60 mins.)
“ 9/10

A great, twisted psychological horror based on a great story, with a great performance by Jeffrey Combs. ” - GTeixeira
 
5.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Sounds Like (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
Deeply affected by a personal tragedy, an office drone comes to realize his sense of hearing has taken on extraordinary capabilities that could drive him insane. (60 mins.)
“ 8/10

The concept might seem strange for an horror, but Brad Anderson manages to turn it into an effective and interesting psychological thriller. ” - GTeixeira
 
6.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: The Fair Haired Child (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A warlock couple abduct a young teenage girl to sacrifice her to a mysterious and evil entity as an offering to resurrect their long-dead boy. (60 mins.)
“ 8/10

Strong story and characters, and a happy ending that still keeps to the dark tone of the rest of the episode. ” - GTeixeira
 
7.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A graduate student questions his sanity after he rents a room in an old boarding house which was the residence of a 17th Century witch, and he figures out that the evil forces still roam within the walls. (60 mins.)
“ 8/10

Another HP Lovecraft adaptation by Stuart Gordon. Definitely better than some of his other attempts. ” - GTeixeira
 
8.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Haeckel's Tale (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
While on his way to see his sick father, a man takes shelter with an elderly man and his young wife but soon discovers their horrible secret. (60 mins.)
“ 7/10

Atmospheric mix of horror and period movies. Typical sexual situations/innuendos/BDSM one would expect from a Clive Barker story.

Terribly unfunny and campy ending, though. ” - GTeixeira
 
9.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Right to Die (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
When a grisly car accident put his wife into a coma, a man reluctantly pulls the plug only to realize her spirit has turned vengeful against the living. (60 mins.)
“ 7/10

Very good and original story, with a fun 'happy' ending (a bit of criticism: how did her ghost become a pyrokinetic?). Surprising, considering who directed it. ” - GTeixeira
 
10.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Family (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
Harold is a seemingly peaceful neighbor in a quiet midwestern neighborhood, but underneath, he's a murderous psychopath who sets his eyes on a couple that have moved in across the street. (60 mins.)
“ 7/10

Not great but a solid episode, with good acting, story and mood; fun to watch. Downsides are the irritating music and lack of actual horror elements. ” - GTeixeira
 
11.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Pick Me Up (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
In the middle of nowhere, with only a two-lane highway to connect it to anywhere--probably upstate New York--a recently divorced female traveler, who is a passenger on a bus that has broken down, gets caught in a bizarre and violent turf war between serial killers. (60 mins.)
“ 7/10

Funny twist on the hitchhiker horror cliché. ” - GTeixeira
 
12.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Valerie on the Stairs (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
Taken from a Clive Barker original screen story, tells the tale of a novelist who discovers there are fates worse than literary anonymity in this sexually-charged tale of terror. (60 mins.)
“ 7/10

I have never read that Clive Barker story, but the concept was very interesting. Good acting, very good monster by Tony Todd, but the tries at comedy (like at the end) hinder more than help. ” - GTeixeira
 
13.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Chocolate (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.0/10 X  
In Chicago, the lonely Jamie works in the food laboratory of a company developing flavors with his best friend Wally... (60 mins.)
“ 6/10

Works more as a dark comedy than a horror. ” - GTeixeira
 
14.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: The Screwfly Solution (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
A strange virus renders the entire human male population into homicidal maniacs who end up wiping out all females, leaving a woman and her daughter to fend for themselves. (60 mins.)
“ 6/10

Merely okay; like most of what Joe Dante does, it's rather fun but held back a bit by his political innuendos, plus a terribly unoriginal twist. ” - GTeixeira
 
15.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
Years ago, they pulled a disastrous childhood prank on the neighborhood ice cream delivery man that got him killed... (60 mins.)
“ 5/10

Uninspired and unoriginal; I couldn't help feeling this was too similar to 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'. Still, it's quite fun. ” - GTeixeira
 
16.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Pro-Life (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Determined to "rescue" his pregnant daughter from an abortion clinic, a religious fanatic and his sons plan a violent firearm assault just as the doctors suspect her pregnancy might not be of this world. (60 mins.)
“ 5/10

Unintentionally funny, complete with a cheesy looking monster. Ron Perlman is great here, and the story had a lot of promise but it kinda lost its way towards the end. ” - GTeixeira
 
17.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
While driving at night along a lonely road through the mountains, Ellen gets distracted by her radio and hits a car parked on the road... (60 mins.)
“ 5/10

An unexpected twist and Angus Scrimm (for 'Phantasm' fans) are really the only good things in this typical slasher copycat, which feels like it wants to be a mix of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Jeepers Creepers. ” - GTeixeira
 
18.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Deer Woman (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A harried, burned-out cop believes that a recent string of murders prove that the murderer might be a deer-like creature in the form of a beautiful woman right from a local Native America folklore legend. (60 mins.)
“ 5/10

John Landis trying to mix comedy with horror again. If you liked 'An American Werewolf in London', you will probably like this one too. ” - GTeixeira
 
19.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Sick Girl (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
A story about an evil bug with the ability to change people's behavior, a commentary on the dangers of moving into a relationship too quickly. (60 mins.)
“ 4/10

Good enough story and lesbian scenes with Misty Mundae, but it drags on too much. There is not enough material here for an hour-long episode ” - GTeixeira
 
20.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Pelts (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A sleazy, desperate fur trader who haunts a local strip club, gets his hands on some priceless raccoon furs that might be more than just priceless but cursed. (60 mins.)
“ 4/10

Very gory, but overly rushed. The concept could have been better worked in other ways instead of turning into an exploitative giallo. ” - GTeixeira
 
21.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Homecoming (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
A hotshot White House speech writer deals with the publicity nightmare of his life when recently deceased soldiers return from beyond the grave. (60 mins.)
“ 4/10

Left-wing propaganda, but fun enough to be watchable. ” - GTeixeira
 
22.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: The Washingtonians (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
A family man unearths an old letter, claiming that historical figure George Washington was a cannibal, and that a colonial-era reenactment group may be upholding that way of life. (60 mins.)
“ 3/10

Overly campy, American horror version of DaVinci Code. Badly acted too; I almost gave up on the episode when the girl screeched for the fourth or fifth time.

I liked the ending though. ” - GTeixeira
 
23.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: The V Word (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
Two curious teenage boys break into an old mortuary looking for thrills, only to find themselves stalked by a former teacher who is a very real vampire looking to increase the ranks of the undead. (60 mins.)
“ 3/10

The story made me think of 'The Addiction', but rushed and more commercial-oriented; ended up a mediocre and boring episode.

Still better than the Twilight Saga. ” - GTeixeira
 
24.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Dance of the Dead (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
In a post-apocalypse society, 17-year-old Peggy lives with her over-protective mother and works in her restaurant... (60 mins.)
“ 3/10

Good atmosphere and Robert Englund are the only worthwhile things here. ” - GTeixeira
 
25.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Imprint (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
In the 1800s, an American returns to Japan to find the prostitute he fell in love with, but instead learns of the psychical and existential horror that befell her after he left. (60 mins.)
“ 3/10

It's just a Japanese version of 'torture porn': it has the surreal and nightmarish feel of a good Japanese horror, but ends up as just another depraved exploitative horror with its torture scenes.

Not as strong as people keep saying, either. ” - GTeixeira
 
26.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: The Damned Thing (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
The Damned Thing is the apocalyptic tale of a monstrous force that devastates Sheriff Kevin Reddle's family and his small Texas town... (60 mins.)
“ 2/10

Boring, senseless and unoriginal; if not for the screaming all the time I would have fallen asleep. Tobe Hooper, once one of the best in the horror genre, has really lost his way. ” - GTeixeira
 
27.
Masters of Horror (2005 TV Series)
Episode: Jenifer (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
While parked in a remote spot lunching Chinese food with his partner, Detective Frank Spivey saves a... (60 mins.)
“ 2/10

It is irksome and creepy, but tends to go too far (even for an horror movie) and is overly predictable (the 'twist' could be expected from a minute into the movie). ” - GTeixeira