Movies I watched in 2013

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Ted (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear or his girlfriend, Lori. (106 mins.)
Director: Seth MacFarlane
“ 7/10 stars.
I thought this movie would be pretty silly and lame but it was very silly but very very funny. The characters in the movie were really funny. I especially liked the character, Guy, played by Patrick Warburton. He was hilarious.
It was a good light comedy and I enjoyed watching it. Not a bad way to kick off 2013. ” - Andrew Buchanan
The Odd Life of Timothy Green (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
A childless couple bury a box in their backyard, containing all of their wishes for an infant. Soon, a child is born, though Timothy Green is not all that he appears. (105 mins.)
Director: Peter Hedges
“ 4/10 stars.
Pretty corny but it could be good for someone feeling clucky. There were a few points in the film where I thought I was gonna turn it off because every part of the plot was so obvious. I'd picked the ending in about three minutes and there were no parts that made me think the creators were very creative. It was really soppy, too. I don't recommend it but if you wanna a watch a soppy movie about parenthood and raising kids ,it may be right up your alley. It's not terrible just really soppy and amazingly predictable. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Looper (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  
In 2074, when the mob wants to get rid of someone, the target is sent into the past, where a hired gun awaits - someone like Joe - who one day learns the mob wants to 'close the loop' by sending back Joe's future self for assassination. (113 mins.)
Director: Rian Johnson
“ 6/10 stars.
For an action movie, it had a very good story. For a thriller, I don't think it was such a good story. It was a fun and exciting, and the action scenes did look good but it was a tad predictable. I was keen for something a little more intellectual or a bit more of a *beep* It was cool but it didn't blow me away. If I went into it thinking it was an action, I probably would have rated it higher but whaddyagonnado? ” - Andrew Buchanan
No Country for Old Men (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.1/10 X  
Violence and mayhem ensue after a hunter stumbles upon a drug deal gone wrong and more than two million dollars in cash near the Rio Grande. (122 mins.)
“ 8/10 stars.
Just great. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Pirate Radio (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  
A band of rogue DJs that captivated Britain, playing the music that defined a generation and standing up to a government that wanted classical music, and nothing else, on the airwaves. (135 mins.)
Director: Richard Curtis
“ 9/10 stars.
One of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Brilliant soundtrack to boot. ” - Andrew Buchanan
The I Inside (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
An amnesiac discovers himself leaping through time between 2000 and 2002 as his past returns to him. (90 mins.)
“ 5/10 stars.
Interesting idea. It played around with the butterfly effect which I always like. There were really interesting progressions throughout the story and I was genuinely interested from the beginning through to the end but the ending was so cheap it basically made this film not worth watching. Oh well... ” - Andrew Buchanan
I Love You, Man (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
Friendless Peter Klaven goes on a series of man-dates to find a Best Man for his wedding. But, when his insta-bond with his new B.F.F. puts a strain on his relationship with his fiancée, can the trio learn to live happily ever after? (105 mins.)
Director: John Hamburg
“ 10/10 stars.
I fully love this movie. I reckon it's one of the funniest comedies ever. I saw it years ago and thought the same thing then. Most comedies are nowhere near as funny the second time around but this one really holds up. I was in stitches the whole time. My wife laughed so hard she cried. It's the business. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Cellular (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A young man receives an emergency phone call on his cell phone from an older woman. The catch? The woman claims to have been kidnapped; and the kidnappers have targeted her husband and child next. (94 mins.)
Director: David R. Ellis
“ 4/10 stars.
I thought it was going to be a thriller. It was a really crappy action movie. The acting was over the top, the script was terrible and the story was weak. It would have been a bad movie in 2004 but aside from being crap it's really dated now and just seems like a lame out-of-date advertisement for Nokia. Terrible. ” - Andrew Buchanan
The Air I Breathe (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.9/10 X  
A drama based on an ancient Chinese proverb that breaks life down into four emotional cornerstones: happiness, pleasure, sorrow and love. A businessman bets his life on a horse race; a gangster sees the future; a pop star falls prey to a crime boss; a doctor must save the love of his life. (95 mins.)
Director: Jieho Lee
“ 8/10 stars.
This is a really good movie. It's really dark but really beautiful at the same time. The cinematography is stunning. The story is really interesting. The acting and characters are well though out and well played. The music is absolutely perfect in every scene. It all comes together to make a movie where it feels like every scene is a work of art to be indulged in. There was a lot of graphic violence and really heavy themes but it was very beautiful and really well done. I want to watch it again. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Righteous Kill (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
Two veteran New York City detectives work on a case of serial executions of criminals who escaped justice. (101 mins.)
Director: Jon Avnet
“ 4/10 stars.
This movie is a Pacino/De Niro wankfest. It's an hour and forty minutes of them walking around being really 'cool' cops and patting each other on the back for how great they are at acting. It's not a particularly intelligent story but it acts like it is. I used to really like both Pacino and De Niro but bloody hell. Absolute pap! ” - Andrew Buchanan
Insignificance (1985)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
Four 1950s icons meet in the same hotel room and two of them discover more in common between them than they ever anticipated. (109 mins.)
Director: Nicolas Roeg
“ 1/10 stars.
This film was so bad I had to stop it half way through. I didn't want to watch it through but I promised myself I wouldn't start a movie without finishing it. It is an art-wank and an intellectual-wank rolled into a steaming pile of pretentious crap. I seriously can't think of anything good about this movie. ” - Andrew Buchanan
The Uninvited (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
Anna returns home after a stint in a mental hospital, but her recovery is jeopardized by her cruel stepmother and ghastly visions of her dead mother. (87 mins.)
“ 7/10 stars.
Awesome. I don't wanna say too much because I don't wanna give it away. I thought it had sorta Japanese horror feel to it a few times. It turns out it's a remake of a Korean horror. I kinda wanna see the original now but I was pretty satisfied with this one at any rate. It's got everything you want from a psycho thriller and some unexpected goodies, too. I really enjoyed it. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Cropsey (2009 Documentary)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
Realizing the urban legend of their youth has actually come true; two filmmakers delve into the mystery surrounding five missing children and the real-life boogeyman linked to their disappearances. (84 mins.)
“ 7/10 stars.
Pretty interesting investigative doco about a real life horror story on Staten Island, NY. It searches for answers about the killer of mentally handicapped children in the eighties. Rather than have me tell you about it, I recommend you watch it yourself. Although it's a very grim topic, it was quite interesting. ” - Andrew Buchanan
What Ever Happened to Hip Hop? (2009 Documentary)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
This documentary presents views from hip hop founders, contributors, and artists in an attempt to return its audience to the four principles: Peace, Love, Unity, and Having Fun. (54 mins.)
Director: Sonali Aggarwal
“ 8/10 stars.
Best hip hop doco I've ever seen. Anyone with an ounce of respect for hip hop will wanna watch it. People who don't respect what their idea of hip hop is will probably respect the genre a lot more if they watch it. It's not the fanciest doco you are gonna see but it's real and that's what a doco should be. ” - Andrew Buchanan
For the Bible Tells Me So (2007 Documentary)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.9/10 X  
An exploration of the intersection between religion and homosexuality in the U.S. and how the religious right has used its interpretation of the Bible to stigmatize the gay community. (95 mins.)
Director: Daniel Karslake
“ 10/10 stars.
A look into the other side of the christian view of homosexuality. A really well made doco. It was really powerful and moving. I cried. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Don't Look Now (1973)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
A married couple grieving the recent death of their young daughter are in Venice when they encounter two elderly sisters, one of whom is psychic and brings a warning from beyond. (110 mins.)
Director: Nicolas Roeg
“ 7/10 stars.
This one is definitely not for everyone but I really enjoyed it. Like a lot of horror films from the same era, a lot of time and effort was put into building tension and setting the story. I think it was worth it. It's got me in the mood to stay up all night watching horror films. ” - Andrew Buchanan
The Brothers Grimm (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
Will and Jake Grimm are traveling con-artists who encounter a genuine fairy-tale curse which requires true courage instead of their usual bogus exorcisms. (118 mins.)
Director: Terry Gilliam
“ 5/10 stars.
This movie was well made and it had some very cool scenes and really cool artwork but the story was not all that interesting and it had a lot of little jokes that it probably would have been better without. All in all while visually very cool, it's not really worth watching. ” - Andrew Buchanan
The Gift (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
A woman with extrasensory perception is asked to help find a young woman who has disappeared. (112 mins.)
Director: Sam Raimi
“ 7/10 stars.
There were two or three scenes with CG that looked pretty dodgy but apart from that, I have no complaints. It was quite an alright mystery. I didn't pick the killer 'til the reveal. I liked the supernatural side of the movie, too. The horror scenes were few and far between so if you're after the fright of your life, you should probably start elsewhere. That being said, there were a couple of gooduns in there. It literally gave me goosebumps in one scene. Which was nice. I was quite impressed by the acting. Keanu Reeves in particular. He plays an utter prick which is pretty rare for him but he pulled it off really well. ” - Andrew Buchanan
The Ultimate Warrior (1975)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
Atomic holocaust is not the only plague that threatens our future. New York City, 2012 A.D.: In a plague devastated world, one tired man finds a reason to fight. (94 mins.)
Director: Robert Clouse
“ 3/10 stars.
The story was about a group of people trying to survive in post-apocalyptic New York in 2012. As an idea it's not too bad but it was pretty poxy. The acting was terrible and the fighting was ridiculous for the most part. The climax was just stupid. I can definitely see what they were trying to achieve but in recent years there have been some really good, really gritty, hard-hitting movies along the same lines, like Children of Men and the Road, that portray the dark horror of the situation so much better than this movie. They make this movie look like a really camp broadway production. All that being said I still reckon it's way better than Book of Eli. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Miller's Crossing (1990)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
Tom Regan, an advisor to a Prohibition-era crime boss, tries to keep the peace between warring mobs but gets caught in divided loyalties. (115 mins.)
Director: Joel Coen
“ 7/10 stars.
I liked this one. I don't mind a good mobster flick and the story was decent. What makes this movie different from other mobster movies is the presentation though. It had a real noir feel to it. Not just visually but the way people spoke and the whole atmosphere. I think they pulled it off really well. The gangster genre can be pretty played out but this one stands out I reckon. It's worth a go. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Legion (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
When a group of strangers at a dusty roadside diner come under attack by demonic forces, their only chance for survival lies with an archangel named Michael, who informs a pregnant waitress that her unborn child is humanity's last hope. (100 mins.)
Director: Scott Stewart
“ 6/10 stars.
Towards the end of the movie my wife rhetorically asked, "They didn't play this movie at the cinemas did they?" When I said, "I'm pretty sure they did," she replied "As if!" That pretty well sums it up. It is ridiculous. The story struggles to have continuity or even make sense, the script is utter rubbish, there are long pointless D&M scenes that add nothing to the movie, the one-liners are so painfully bad they are enough to make you puke, and the whole thing reeks of smelly smelly cheese. If it's so bad why give it 6 stars, you ask? This movie is so utterly *beep* that I couldn't help cacking myself for most of it. In my book, it officially passed the 'It's so bad it's good' line. If you feel like laughing at how bad a movie can be, this might be the movie for you. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Let Me In (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
A bullied young boy befriends a young female vampire who lives in secrecy with her guardian. (116 mins.)
Director: Matt Reeves
“ 9/10 stars.
When I first heard about the Twilight series, before the first movie came out, I heard that they were making a film that was a dark romantic-horor about a teenage vampire. Romantic-Horrors with vampires are the best! I really like Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula because of the backstory given to the beast. The Wisdom of Crocodiles is a little-known but absolutely awesome romantic-horror about a vampiric Jude Law. When I heard about the Twilight series, I basically dreamt up this amazing romantic-horror vampire story from start to finish and all the nooks and crannies in between and got really excited about its release. I was waiting in anticipation. You cannot imagine the anger and frustration I felt when I finally saw it. It was absolutely nothing like how I imagined and it was absolute rubbish. The film I imagined was Let Me In. It is the movie I was waiting for. The perfect dark teen romantic-horror. ” - Andrew Buchanan
30 Days of Night (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
After an Alaskan town is plunged into darkness for a month, it is attacked by a bloodthirsty gang of vampires. (113 mins.)
Director: David Slade
“ 6/10 stars.
Decent survival horror movie. Very gory. It had some very cool bits and some scary bits but some parts were a bit silly. I liked the look of the film but I wasn't very impressed by the vampires. Were they civilized or beasts? They could have done them a wee better I reckon. Wasn't too fond of the end either but it was still decent anyway. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Insidious (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
A family looks to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called The Further. (103 mins.)
Director: James Wan
“ 7/10 stars.
I used to watch a series on the discovery channel called A Haunting. It was pretty hit and miss. One week it would be really creepy and the next it would just be dull. By far the best episode was one where a child befriended the ghost of a murderer called 'Man'. Man was so creepy and so insidious.
This movie reminded me of A Haunting so much that I spent three quarters of the film thinking that it's just like and episode of A Haunting but with better acting, less interviews and better cinematography. It especially reminded me of the episode with Man.
I loved the dream scenes. They reminded of the Nightmare on Elm Street series which is my favourite horror franchise.
My qualm with this film though is that it reminded me that much of so many other films that I kept thinking about those as I watched it.
I did really enjoy it though and the last half an hour literally gave me goosebumps. Nice recommendation! ” - Andrew Buchanan
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
A group of high-schoolers invite Mandy Lane, an innocent, desirable girl, to a weekend party on a secluded ranch. While the festivities rage on, the number of revelers begins to drop mysteriously. (90 mins.)
Director: Jonathan Levine
“ 1/10 stars.
I can't believe how bad this movie was. It's probably the worst movie I've ever seen. The horror movie they made in Degrassi was a million times better. I seriously don't know how this film got released. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Gamer (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
In a future mind-controlling game, death row convicts are forced to battle in a 'Doom'-type environment. Convict Kable, controlled by Simon, a skilled teenage gamer, must survive thirty sessions in order to be set free. Or won't he? (95 mins.)
Director: Neveldine, Taylor
“ 3/10 stars.
Visually it was pretty spectacular but it just didn't do it. for me. It seems like three 15 year old boys got together and made a film that them and their mates could cream all over. It's very rare I don't watch a movie through to the end but I didn't watch this one. I might not be doing it justice but I found it immature and it bored me very quickly. While the action scenes were well done, the costumes were cool, and the soundtrack was decent, I couldn't be bothered watching it to the end. Oh well. ” - Andrew Buchanan
John Dies at the End (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
A new street drug that sends its users across time and dimensions has one drawback: some people return as no longer human. Can two college dropouts save humankind from this silent, otherworldly invasion? (99 mins.)
Director: Don Coscarelli
“ 8/10 stars.
This movie was an absolute hoot. Maybe not one for the kiddies but a very funny and very wacky movie. It was well made, well thought out and hilarious. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Splice (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
Genetic engineers Clive Nicoli and Elsa Kast hope to achieve fame by successfully splicing together the DNA of different animals to create new hybrid animals for medical use. (104 mins.)
Director: Vincenzo Natali
“ 5/10 stars.
Pretty average I reckon. The special effects looked pretty cool for most of it. The story was OK but I was expecting it to be scary. I don't really think it should be classed as a horror. As a plain old Sci-Fi I thought it was alright but I thought they tried a bit too hard with the special features of the hybrid. The sound effects were strange. Nothing sounded realistic. It was pretty distracting. I don't really have much more to say about it than that... ” - Andrew Buchanan
The Reaping (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
A former Christian missionary, who specializes in debunking religious phenomena, investigates a small town which seems to be suffering from the 10 biblical plagues. (99 mins.)
Director: Stephen Hopkins
“ 7/10 stars.
I liked it. It had a lot of gruesome psychological scenes that were pretty creepy. The story was interesting. When I first saw it a few years ago I found it really preachy so I didn't like it but this time I thought there were a few preachy scenes and a couple of cheesy ones too but it didn't destroy the film.The visuals were really sweet. A fair bit of CG but it looked pretty awesome. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Horror Express (1972)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
In 1906, in China, a British anthropologist discovers a frozen prehistoric creature and must transport it to Europe by train. (84 mins.)
Director: Gene Martin
“ 6/10 stars.
Watched this a few weeks ago but didn't get around to writing it up. It was entertaining. The sort of horror movie the whole family can enjoy. There were a few scenes that didn't seem to have much relevance to the plot but it was fun. The Scooby Doo live action should have been a lot more like this movie and a lot less like it was. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Vinyan (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
A couple are looking for their child who was lost in the tsunami - their search takes them to the dangerous Thai-Burmese waters, and then into the jungle, where they face unknown but horrifying dangers. (96 mins.)
Director: Fabrice du Welz
“ 8/10 stars.
It's got some heavy themes. The cinematography was very art house. Sometimes very amateur. Sometimes absolutely brilliant. The film built up very gradually but it definitely added to the tension and helped develop appreciation for the characters. I wouldn't say it's scary per se but it's very very creepy. You have to be in the mood for an artsy fartsy horror though. I thought the beginning was depressing but it was well worth it in the end. I'm glad I watched it. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
When Cyrus Kriticos, a very rich collector of unique things dies, he leaves it all to his nephew and his family. All including his house, his fortune, and his malicious collection of ghosts! (91 mins.)
Director: Steve Beck
“ 2/10 stars.
I thought I'd seen the original but I was thinking of a totally different movie. I thought it was a lot more serious, a lot darker, and a lot scarier. This movie was pure cheese. Bad acting, corny lines and lame CG. The ghost character designs were really bad too. All in all it was pretty bad. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber (2005 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
A 28-year-old ad sales exec stops at nothing to climb her way to the top of the San Francisco social ladder. (96 mins.)
Director: Dana Lustig
“ 3/10 stars.
What a crappy movie. The only good thing about it was that Jennifer Love Hewitt was hot. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
After experiencing what they think are a series of "break-ins", a family sets up security cameras around their home, only to realize that the events unfolding before them are more sinister than they seem. (91 mins.)
Director: Tod Williams
“ 8/10 stars.
I was expecting a gaudy rehash of the first film and I really didn't want to watch it. My wife was heaps keen to watch it so I thought I'd amuse her and was expecting to laugh about how crap it was with her at the end but it was way better than I was expecting. I really liked the first one apart from the very last scene but this movie was way better. It had a nice steady build up, and the story came together really well. Simple but effective. I really enjoyed it. ” - Andrew Buchanan
Pandorum (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
A pair of crew members aboard a spaceship wake up with no knowledge of their mission or their identities. (108 mins.)
“ 4/10 stars.
It looked really promising at the beginning and it had a few cool bits but it was a huge let down. There were some cool visual effects but there were so many cringe-worthy scenes. In some scenes it came across as an intelligent Sci-fi but in others it totally destroyed that with unoriginality and lame fight scenes. The end was so cliche and tacky that it left me with a pretty bad taste in my mouth. ” - Andrew Buchanan