Top 10 worst movies of 2013

by no-one-really | created - 28 Dec 2013 | updated - 04 Jan 2015 | Public

originally top 5 because i hadn't seen enough movies i hated that came out in UK during 2013, but now i have so yippee... i guess

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1. The Host (2013)

PG-13 | 125 min | Action, Adventure, Romance

5.9
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
35 Metascore

When an unseen enemy threatens mankind by taking over their bodies and erasing their memories, Melanie will risk everything to protect the people she cares most about, proving that love can conquer all in a dangerous new world.

Director: Andrew Niccol | Stars: Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel, Diane Kruger

Votes: 100,005 | Gross: $26.63M

it has good CGI, good camera work and a good premise, but the acting is awful, the script is horrendous, the sets are cheap looking, the dialogue is unintentionally hilarious and it's based on a book written by the author of Twilight... need i say more?

2. The Harry Hill Movie (2013)

88 min | Adventure, Comedy, Musical

3.7
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  

When he thinks his hamster Abu has just a week to live, Harry Hill and his gran take the hamster to Blackpool. However, Harry's twin Otto wants to kidnap Abu and sends Ed and Kisko to pursue them.

Director: Steve Bendelack | Stars: Harry Hill, Julie Walters, Johnny Vegas, Simon Bird

Votes: 1,755

a movie i at first thought was ok-ish, but the more i thought about it the less i liked it, and i eventually felt compelled to give it a re-watch and i kinda hated it, unfunny, awkward, too random for its own good and waisted potential from start to finnish, sorry Harry

3. The Counselor (2013)

R | 117 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller

5.3
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
48 Metascore

A lawyer finds himself in over his head when he gets involved in drug trafficking.

Director: Ridley Scott | Stars: Michael Fassbender, Penélope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem

Votes: 87,552 | Gross: $16.97M

it doesn't make any sense, it explains nothing, i still can't figure out what it was supposed to be about, the whole thing consists of boring conversations that add nothing to either character or what little there was of a plot

4. Grown Ups 2 (2013)

PG-13 | 101 min | Comedy

5.4
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
19 Metascore

After moving his family back to his hometown to be with his friends and their kids, Lenny finds out that between old bullies, new bullies, schizo bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, and 400 costumed party crashers sometimes crazy follows you.

Director: Dennis Dugan | Stars: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade

Votes: 119,297 | Gross: $133.67M

a random film composing of nothing but random scenes, nothing feels relevant or connected to anything else that happens, a plotless and pointless mess that didn't need to be made, a few jokes got a chuckle out of me but the majority of jokes just made me stare for a moment in dissatisfaction

5. Evil Dead (2013)

R | 91 min | Fantasy, Horror, Thriller

6.5
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
57 Metascore

Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods.

Director: Fede Alvarez | Stars: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Jessica Lucas, Lou Taylor Pucci

Votes: 137,965 | Gross: $54.24M

i love the original, and i wanted very badly to love this, i cannot however when the acting is bad, the script is almost criminal, the dialogue is ridiculous, it never feels like it's going anywhere, there's no tension, no scares, no thrills and it just wouldn't end.

6. Getaway (I) (2013)

PG-13 | 90 min | Action, Crime, Thriller

4.4
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.4/10 X  
22 Metascore

To save his kidnapped wife, Brent Magna must drive at the orders of a mysterious man.

Director: Courtney Solomon | Stars: Ethan Hawke, Selena Gomez, Jon Voight, Paul Freeman

Votes: 21,027 | Gross: $10.49M

a badly written film that needed imagination, which no one had, cars flying everywhere should be fun but here it's dull and boring, the plot is as dumb as they get, the actors are either miscast or mis directed, Selena Gomez's character is annoying as hell and Ethan Hawke would have been good if only his dialogue wasn't so painful.

7. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)

PG | 106 min | Adventure, Family, Fantasy

5.9
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
39 Metascore

In order to restore their dying safe haven, the son of Poseidon and his friends embark on a quest to the Sea of Monsters, to find the mythical Golden Fleece, all the while trying to stop an ancient evil from rising.

Director: Thor Freudenthal | Stars: Logan Lerman, Alexandra Daddario, Brandon T. Jackson, Nathan Fillion

Votes: 95,400 | Gross: $68.56M

this movie really wants the audience to care, i definitely did not, i laughed when a character who was unintentionally annoying almost died, the characters are unlikable, the dialogue is shamelessly cliched and nothing can make up for the phenomenally contrived script that bombasts it's way through every situation without tension or much intelligence

8. Movie 43 (2013)

R | 94 min | Comedy, Romance

4.3
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
18 Metascore

A series of interconnected short films follows a washed-up producer as he pitches insane story lines featuring some of the biggest stars in Hollywood.

Directors: Elizabeth Banks, Steven Brill, Steve Carr, Rusty Cundieff, James Duffy, Griffin Dunne, Peter Farrelly, Patrik Forsberg, Will Graham, James Gunn, Brett Ratner, Jonathan van Tulleken, Bob Odenkirk | Stars: Emma Stone, Stephen Merchant, Richard Gere, Liev Schreiber

Votes: 86,917 | Gross: $8.83M

obnoxious, agonising and so unfunny i sat there hoping there would be something salvageable about this little britain sketch reject. so many talented people in this thing it's frustrating, annoying jokes, childish tone, irritating premises, boring, waisted opportunities and knowing that all these actors were guilt tripped into appearing in it just makes it all the more sad and pathetic.

9. Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

R | 92 min | Horror, Thriller

4.8
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  

A young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance; little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding killer is part of the reward.

Director: John Luessenhop | Stars: Alexandra Daddario, Tania Raymonde, Scott Eastwood, Trey Songz

Votes: 38,828 | Gross: $34.34M

let me save some time, what was the good in this thing? nothing, there is not one aspect i liked about it, sloppy, ugly, not scary at all, the gore effects are disappointing, and the script is so terrible and cliched, just like the porn acting and the uninspired directing, i wanted to slap myself in the face because that would be the only way someone who had something to do with it could get any justice, even if my only involvement was that i watched it.

10. Walking with Dinosaurs 3D (2013)

PG | 87 min | Animation, Adventure, Family

5.2
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
37 Metascore

See and feel what it was like when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, in a story where an underdog dino triumphs to become a hero for the ages.

Directors: Barry Cook, Neil Nightingale | Stars: Charlie Rowe, Karl Urban, Angourie Rice, John Leguizamo

Votes: 9,606 | Gross: $36.08M

this isn't just the worst film of the year, this is one of the worst movies i have ever seen in my life.

i know it's for kids, but speaking as an adult, the script is lazy and uncaring, the dialogue is incredibly stupid, the voice acting is punishable by death, the scenes that take place during present day look and feel like Disney channel garbage and the very fact they thought everything i just said was worthy of print makes me want to vomit