Welcome to my "third list". Here on IMDb, I've grown tired of the ratings system.
Instead of trying to assign a specific number to the extent to which I did or did not like a movie, I'm going to go the way of YouTube - do I "like" the movie or not?
This binary system is much simpler, even if it's lacking in a few features. Here's a more specific breakdown:
10 - I liked it. If necessary I will explain the extent to which I liked it.
1 - I didn't like it. If necessary I will explain the extent to which I disliked it.
No rating given - I had such a mixed attitude that I didn't quite "like" it as much as I would, well, like or didn't quite "dislike" it to the same degree.
This list is for all those I haven't given a rating to. Bear in mind I don't think these movies are just passable and I don't hate or like them at all - some of them I do like, just not enough for me to want to say, "I like it." The same goes for the ones I don't like.
This list is for movies I disliked but not enough to hate, and movies I liked but not enough to love. I just didn't care to find which number rating best conveyed my feelings either way because I found it too freakin' hard.
I consider these titles to have been rated just like the ones you can find if you click "See all N ratings" on my profile. So add the number there (for some reason the number actually listed on my profile is 9 more than I have rated, so keep that in mind) with the number of titles on this list, minus 2 (you'll find out why if you read through this list), to get the true number of things I've sat through so far that I've been able to remember.
The Other Guys
Two mismatched New York City detectives seize an opportunity to step up like the city's top cops whom they idolize -- only things don't quite go as planned. (107 mins.)
“ I was expecting this movie to be much funnier. In fact, I neither liked it nor hated it enough to really remember much beyond a few lines and quips from the movie or its end credits. Probably one of the few movies on this list where I can honestly say it was so bland I didn't care afterward. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
In the distant future, a small waste-collecting robot inadvertently embarks on a space journey that will ultimately decide the fate of mankind. (98 mins.)
“ I thought this one was really depressing for a Pixar movie. I don't think Pixar movies are the best way to convey messages like these. I also found the ending to be highly unlikely given the circumstances. It's cute, but the trailers definitely play it up for the qualities it doesn't have, at least not in such quantities as the trailers would have you to believe. A similar thing happened to Happy Feet, see below. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
Clash of the Titans
Perseus demigod, son of Zeus, battles the minions of the underworld to stop them from conquering heaven and earth. (106 mins.)
“ I'm of the opinion that Greek myths don't make very good movies. I studied mythology in high school, and I found that a lot of myths amount to really random sequences of events whose order and purpose can only be understood by heavily analyzing or being familiar with the imagery involved, a standard neither I nor the average moviegoer really match-up to. At least the movie itself is presented very well. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
Into the world of the Emperor Penguins, who find their soul mates through song, a penguin is born who cannot sing. But he can tap dance something fierce! (108 mins.)
“ What looks like a fun, charming movie about a misfit penguin turns out to be rather woebegone. I get that drama is a huge part in making a great family movie, but this movie was far more serious than I anticipated. I also disliked the ending, which left me thinking, "...and that's it? We sat through all that for THIS?" It just didn't seem to do justice to the rest of the movie. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
The Forbidden Kingdom
A discovery made by a kung fu obsessed American teen sends him on an adventure to China, where he joins up with a band of martial arts warriors in order to free the imprisoned Monkey King. (104 mins.)
“ I enjoyed the idea of taking the stereotypical Asian martial arts movie and turning it on its head by inserting a kung-fu obsessed teenage nerd into a grand myth where he finds if it were real it would not be anything like he's been taught it would be in his glossy American culture. Even in spite of this implicit satire, the movie is just too predictable and is still very stereotypical in many ways on its own. Still, it has plenty of redeeming qualities, including the nerd himself. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
In an oppressive future, a fireman whose duty is to destroy all books begins to question his task. (112 mins.)
“ I don't understand why the movie was so different from the book. Plus, when reading the book I was being exposed to things like Gears of War and similar apocalyptic works that really influenced how I now perceive apocalyptic fiction; the book, to me, was a lot darker than the film was, and the film itself was too happy - it should have been darker. It's got plenty of quirks to make it an interesting evening to spend, but I'd prefer my own mental interpretation of the book's events. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
A veteran assigned to extract Earth's remaining resources begins to question what he knows about his mission and himself. (124 mins.)
“ This is actually a pretty decent flick, but I just think it's somewhat unfinished because of all the questions that remain unanswered by the end of the movie. It's like the writers just didn't sit down long enough to think it through. As in, "We don't want to sit here and finish writing this script so we'll just throw it in like it is and hope for the best." ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
A human-looking indestructible cyborg is sent from 2029 to 1984 to assassinate a waitress, whose unborn son will lead humanity in a war against the machines, while a soldier from that war is sent to protect her at all costs. (107 mins.)
“ The Terminator… this is a tough one for me. It had such promise, but few movies or TV series can pull-off time travel very well (I believe Back to the Future is the finest example of time travel fiction, because it at least strives to acknowledge the shortcomings of such fiction). On the one hand, The Terminator has a transfixing plot and harrowing premise, but on the other, it has too many unanswered questions for me to really enjoy it. I also thought the sex scene, which we skipped over, was unnecessary. I hate how damn obsessed people are with sex these days. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
The Spiderwick Chronicles
Upon moving into the run-down Spiderwick Estate with their mother, twin brothers Jared and Simon Grace, along with their sister Mallory, find themselves pulled into an alternate world full of faeries and other creatures. (96 mins.)
“ I loved the books. I also thought Sara Bolger was brilliant in this movie; she was a perfect fit for her character, Mallory. Admittedly, the books were short enough that they could easily have been one book, but it's still one of the series I remember most fondly reading growing up. I guess, though, I'm just a bit fussy with the way things play out in my head and the way directors parlay the events of a book into the events of a movie. I'd probably go through this one again just to figure out what I thought of it, it's been a long time since I sat through it but I do remember feeling like it could have been better at the time. I can't say exactly why, though. Maybe it just fell short the way book adaptations for books I've read before tend to fall short for me - it's not envisioned the "right" way as I would see it so I tend not to like it. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
A Series of Unfortunate Events
When a massive fire kills their parents, three children are delivered to the custody of cousin and stage actor Count Olaf, who is secretly plotting to steal their parents' vast fortune. (108 mins.)
“ I'm not crazy about this movie. I have to say I liked it, but it was so bizarre and unlikely of a story that I didn't like it as much as I thought I would. It just felt somewhat underwhelming, and the story seemed really haphazard and improbable. It's a decent choice for movie night, but I'd rather watch something else if at all possible. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Rescued from the outrageous neglect of his aunt and uncle, a young boy with a great destiny proves his worth while attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. (152 mins.)
“ I put all the Harry Potter movies on this list because they started out okay and just got worse. I'll judge the series as a whole here and now. I admit to feeling a disparity between the movies and the books and how I experienced them growing-up.
I grew up with audiobooks, which are recorded from voice artists reading books. One of them happened to be Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, which I got for Christmas one year when it was still new. At that time, the Potter craze had yet to happen and as far as I was concerned it was just one more thing my parents thought I'd love but I wasn't sure I really would - you know, judging a book by its cover and all that.
But I did, and it became one of my favorite series growing-up. I think we only got as far as Order of the Phoenix, because I certainly don't remember an audiobook for Half-Blood Prince (which I saw in theaters and walked out afterwards feeling disillusioned with the Harry Potter movie series).
You see, what really brought the books to life for me was the narration of Jim Dale, one of the few true voice artists of my childhood. His voice became synonymous with Harry Potter for me, and while I sort of liked the movies from the outset, I came to realize I significantly preferred the audiobooks starring Jim Dale. To me, there's just no other way to enjoy Harry Potter. It's so well-written, but it was Jim Dale's voice acting for the whole thing that really made me a fan.
I think it was Prisoner of Azkaban where Daniel Radcliffe really started hamming it up, with his hilariously-bad "I hope [Sirius Black] finds me" speech. And hearing that years after it came out taught me one thing: "I'm not a Potter film fan anymore."
I admit I haven't checked-out the last two movies in this overblown franchise, but I don't think I ever will. I won't read the last books until I get the Jim Dale CDs for them, and I'm certainly quite done with the movies, which have their own charm but just got plagued with bad acting and increasingly-marginalized subplots & side-stories that made the books all the more memorable (SPEW, Hermione's house-elf rights organization, was left out of the movies altogether, and it was one of the most awesome features of the books).
For the most part, the movies are well-conceived, but I really enjoyed the audiobooks more. And the movies just got worse as time went on, not least because the books kept getting longer and longer and the movies had to cut more and more out. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry ignores warnings not to return to Hogwarts, only to find the school plagued by a series of mysterious attacks and a strange voice haunting him. (161 mins.)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
It's Harry's third year at Hogwarts; not only does he have a new "Defense Against the Dark Arts" teacher, but there is also trouble brewing. Convicted murderer Sirius Black has escaped the Wizards' Prison and is coming after Harry. (142 mins.)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry finds himself mysteriously selected as an under-aged competitor in a dangerous tournament between three schools of magic. (157 mins.)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
With their warning about Lord Voldemort's return scoffed at, Harry and Dumbledore are targeted by the Wizard authorities as an authoritarian bureaucrat slowly seizes power at Hogwarts. (138 mins.)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
As Harry Potter begins his sixth year at Hogwarts, he discovers an old book marked as "the property of the Half-Blood Prince" and begins to learn more about Lord Voldemort's dark past. (153 mins.)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
As Harry races against time and evil to destroy the Horcruxes, he uncovers the existence of three most powerful objects in the wizarding world: the Deathly Hallows. (146 mins.)
A small wooden box arrives on the doorstep of a married couple, who know that opening it will grant them a million dollars and kill someone they don't know. (115 mins.)
“ This one is really confusing for me. On the one hand, there's clearly not enough substance in the source material to stretch into a movie that's this long (hence the scenes where few to no lines are spoken, like when they're mopping-up after the weird water scene) and there are too many irrelevant plot elements (such as when he has to choose which watery gateway to go through in the first place, which seems to have no relevance to the plot as a whole). On the other hand, what parts of the story do make sense are superb, strongly-acted, and make for a satisfying resolution that is everything I go to the movies for these days. So it's one big confusing cocktail of good, not so good, and just plain weird. It cancels-out my actual opinion on this movie. Now I just don't care either way. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
In 2018, a mysterious new weapon in the war against the machines, half-human and half-machine, comes to John Connor on the eve of a resistance attack on Skynet. But whose side is he on, and can he be trusted? (115 mins.)
“ I've added this one to the list because it's the only other Terminator movie I've been through. This one wasn't too bad but I really don't remember a whole lot about it either. I cued-up both of these Terminators around the same time, as I recall, because I was interested at the time but after sitting through these I'm not sure I'll ever go for 2 or 3. See my reason for the first movie given above. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
When Eleanor, Theo, and Luke decide to take part in a sleep study at a huge mansion they get more than they bargained for when Dr. Marrow tells them of the house's ghostly past. (113 mins.)
“ I did read the Shirley Jackson book, and I knew full-well going into the movie it was not the book, so that's not the crux of my complaints here. I'll keep this short - long ago, I was 12 years old, wide-eyed and standing in the horror aisle of my local movie rental store. I knew I shouldn't have been in there, but I always liked just glimpsing horror films by picking them up, flipping them over, and seeing what would haunt my nightmares tonight. This particular night, I overdid it by far, and this was one of the movies whose packaging scared the hell out of me. Unfortunately, the movie, years later (after I read the book for a high school project), just didn't do it for me, because the scene depicted on the back of the box just sort of peters-out awkwardly, and afterwards becomes unimportant as far as having happened goes. The rest of the movie's just a mixed bag of meh, with paranormal stuff that starts-out promising and then... just... goes nowhere. I don't know if I should like this movie for all the action that started-out great or hate it because all the action ends weakly. Like, it starts-off strong and then just sort of doesn't know where to go so it just awkwardly retreats back into Hill House or something like that. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti
(2011 Short Film)
A fable of a young boy who is coming of age in the most peculiar of circumstances. Tonight is the very... (7 mins.)
“ Cute little concept, but I just don't understand this film. I don't get what the point of it was. ” - ApprehensiveSpaghetti