Seinfeld: The Episodes Ranked

I recently watched Seinfeld from beginning to end, starting in May 2013 and ending early July 2013. I kept a running list and rating (1 to 10) for each episode. I ranked all the episodes in order of how much I enjoyed each entry (basically how much I laughed).

There are several hour long episodes that are now shown in syndication as part 1 and 2. I list these hour long episodes only once with one rating and occupying one spot in the list. I also omitted the clip shows.

I am posting spoilers in the descriptions.. so be warned.

I did an average of the ranking per season to see how the seasons ranked from best to worst.
1. Season 8 (avg: 67)
2. Season 7 (avg: 73)
3. Season 5 (avg: 78)
4. Season 3 (avg: 86)
5. Season 6 (avg: 87)
6. Season 9 (avg: 90)
7. Season 2 (avg: 92)
8. Season 4 (avg: 93)
9. Season 1 (avg: 146)

*A note about this list is that I was an avid Seinfeld fan during the initial run in the '90s, so many of the jokes fell flat on me during this viewing stretch, some 15 years later. I was aware of this as I put my list together, but I kept true to how I enjoyed the episodes this time around. For instance, The Label Maker episode contains the 'Re-Gifting' storyline. I remember it being great but it isn't as funny when the central idea isn't fresh and as a result it fell in the middle of the list.
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1.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Contest (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.6/10 X  
After George's mother catches him alone in a somewhat embarrassing situation, Jerry, George, Elaine... (22 mins.)
“ S4E11
This is the one where the four enter into a contest to see who could remain 'Master of their domain' the longest. Kramer spots a naked woman across the way and quickly declares 'I'm Out!'. Jerry is dating a Virgin (Jane Leeves), Elaine meets JFK Jr. at her club, and George sees a woman-on-woman spongebath at the hospital while dealing with Estelle. Even a throw-away gag like George throwing Tic Tacs at his mom gets a hearty laugh from me.
My Rating: 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
2.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Marine Biologist (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.3/10 X  
George starts dating a woman who (told by Jerry) thinks George is a marine biologist. Elaine's electronic organizer injures a person after being launched from a limo by a Russian novelist. Kramer decides to golf on the beach. (22 mins.)
“ S5E13
George's ending monologue is classic, 'The sea was angry that day my friends..'. 'Is that a Titliest?' - one of the very best moments of the show. Jerry convincing Elaine the original title of War and Peace was 'War, what is it good for' and poor Carol Kane getting hit in the head by beeping organizers make this one an easy top 5 episode. Also, Jerry fears for 'Golden Boy'.
My Rating 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
3.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Bizarro Jerry (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.2/10 X  
George uses Susan's death to pick up women. Elaine's new friend is Jerry's exact opposite. Jerry's new girlfriend has manly hands. Kramer pretends to work for an upscale firm. (22 mins.)
“ S8E3
All four plotlines in this episode are great. Elaine starts hanging out with Kevin, Gene, and Feldman (who brings groceries instead of taking them), Kramer gets a job and is always TCB (taking care of business), Jerry dates "Man-Hands" (Kristen Bauer) who likes to crack lobster and touch Jerry's face, and George gets to visit the 'forbidden city' at the meat packing plant. Kramer and Jerry pretending to be a married couple was funny, as was 'Vargus' the fedex worker.
My Rating 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
4.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Soup Nazi (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.6/10 X  
A soup stand owner obsesses about his customers' ordering procedure, but his soup is so good that people line up down the block for it anyway. (22 mins.)
“ S7E6
The Soup Nazi ("No Soup For You!) is such a classic character, but the other stories in this episode are great too. Jerry and George have an escalating confrontation with public displays of affection because Jerry is always saying 'Shmoopie', and Kramer gets his first run-in with the gay thugs who steal Elaine's Armoire. The Soup Nazi's cashier snatching George's soup back is funny no matter how many times I see it, as is Elaine's ending line, 'Next!'
My Rating: 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
5.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Revenge (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
George takes revenge on his boss for not hiring him back after he quit and was rude to him, and Jerry and Kramer take revenge on a dry cleaner after Jerry accuses him of stealing $1,500 from his laundry bag. (22 mins.)
“ S2E12
Kramer's scheme to get back at the Laundromat by trying to dump a bag of cement into a washing machine is one of my favorite physical comedy moments from Michael Richards. George starts this episode with a rant at his boss and quits his job, but decides to go back to work on Monday like it never happened; this is my favorite of George's many schemes. George and Elaine's plot to 'slip a mickey' to the boss at the end is great.
My Rating: 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
6.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Chicken Roaster (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.1/10 X  
Kenny Rogers' Roasters sets up shop across the street from Jerry and Kramer's apartment. Unfortunately... (22 mins.)
“ S8E8
Jerry and Kramer switch apartments because Kramer threatens to give Kenny Rogers chicken bad press. The red light from the sign beaming into Kramer's apartment makes Jerry act like Kramer, and also causes Kramer to pour tomato soup into his cereal. Elaine is splurging Peterman's money on George when she buys him a Russian hat, which he tries to leave at woman's apartment to get a second date. Peterman does his impression of Brando's 'The Horror, The Horror' over the urban Sombrero and Newman is forced to eat Broccoli and shouts 'Vile Weed!' Oh, and Jerry is harassed by Mr. Marbles.
My Rating: 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
7.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Reverse Peephole (1998)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
Elaine is embarrassed by Puddy's fur coat. Kramer tries to keep Newman from getting evicted. George carries everything in his wallet. Jerry is through with wallets. (22 mins.)
“ S9E12
Elaine attempts to throw Puddy's Man-Fur jacket out the window, and at the end Puddy gets the 8-Ball jacket. Does he wear it again? "All Signs point to yes!" George has an overflowing wallet that eventually explodes and Jerry gets his 'purse' robbed, I mean, European Carry-all. Also in this one, Kramer helps Newman out of a jam when Newman is almost caught having an affair with the super's wife. The super eventually goes after Joe Mayo with a sock full of pennies. We also learn that Newman reads Elaine's mail.
My Rating: 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
8.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Package (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
A mysterious package arrives for Jerry. Elaine is curious about what the doctors are writing in her records. George tries to hit on the cute girl at the "One Hour Photo" place. (22 mins.)
“ S8E5
George practices his 'art of seduction' on the photo booth girl by sending her some erotic pictures of his own which come back to haunt him. Kramer tries insuring Jerry's stereo and committing mail fraud. Elaine wants her medical chart but can't seem to get it, even with the help of Dr. Van Nostrand from the clinic. Uncle Leo gets his eyebrows blown off and Elaine draws on some angry ones. Newman's interrogation of Jerry under the hot lights is classic.
My Rating: 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
9.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Rye (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.0/10 X  
After George's parents take back the bread they gifted to Susan's parents, George makes Jerry find another loaf and tries to appease Susan's parents by taking them on Kramer's Manhattan horse tours, to disastrous consequences. (22 mins.)
“ S7E11
Kramer takes over the horse and buggy business but feeds Rusty a bunch of beef-a-roni causing the horse to fart all over the parents of Susan Ross. Frank steals back a marble rye he brought to a dinner causing George to scheme to replace it. Jerry winds up mugging the 'old bag' for the last rye and tries to throw it up to George at the window, who winds up using a fishing rod. Even Elaine's subplot is great where she dates a saxophonist who doesn't 'do everything', but does before his showcase.
My Rating: 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
10.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Fix Up (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
Jerry and Elaine fix George up with a friend of hers. (22 mins.)
“ S3E17
This episode best sums of George's character as he has such high expectations for a blind date but expects Cynthia to accept him with all his flaws. I chuckled through the entire episode, but got big laughs from Kramer's bag of condoms, George's happiness at being a father, and his table manners at the end.
My Rating: 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
11.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Boyfriend: Part 1 (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.0/10 X  
In the first hour-long episode, Jerry hooks up with Keith Hernandez at the gym. He tries to meet with... (22 mins.)
“ S3E15/S3E16
Jerry's recount of the spitting incident done in the manner of the JFK assassination (the second spitter) is classic, as is George's falling flat on his face with his pants around his ankles when Kramer fails to answer the phone as 'Vandelay Industries'. This episode marks the first time Jerry says 'Hello Newman.' George dating the daughter of the unemployment office worker and Jerry's "male relationship" with Keith Hernandez are both full of laughs. George also ends up meeting a really tall woman.
My Rating: 10/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
12.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Cheever Letters (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
Jerry offends Elaine's assistant. Kramer makes a contact for Cuban cigars. A box of letters from John Cheever is all that remains after Susan's father's cabin burns down. (22 mins.)
“ S4E8
This is the one where Jerry's dirty talk, 'You mean the panties you're mother laid out for you' gets him in trouble, and Elaine knew all along and zings him good at the end. George and Susan have to tell her parents the cabin burned down, but romantic letters from John Cheever out Mr. Ross. Kramer goes to the Cuban embassy looking for more cigars. Other favorite moments are when George squirts the ketchup across Monk's and when Jerry and George attempt to work on their script but get nowhere.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
13.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Strike (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.9/10 X  
Jerry goes out with a woman who is beautiful one day and ugly the next. Kramer goes back to work at H&H Bagels. George makes up a charity. Elaine gives a fake number to a man. (22 mins.)
“ S9E10
Fetivus for the rest of us. Frank's holiday includes feats of strength, the airing of grievances and an aluminum pole. Jerry dates two-face and Elaine gives 'Denim Vest' a fake number on a card she needs back. Kramer goes on strike again from H & H bagels and sabotages the steam pipe turning Elaine into a two-face. Kramer then invites some bookies (a real life porn star) to Festivus to sit next to and leer at Elaine. George rounds out this great episode by giving a fake charity gift to his co-workers, donations made payable to the 'Human Fund'.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
14.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Stall (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
At a movie theater's restroom, Elaine, realizing she doesn't have any toilet paper left, asks the woman... (22 mins.)
“ S5E12
"I don't have a square to spare." Jane (Jamie Gertz) leaves Elaine with no TP in the stall, but Elaine gets her revenge in the end. Elaine is also dating Tony the 'Mimbo' that George wants to hang out with, even if it's rock climbing. George will be sure to bring the sandwiches. Kramer is calling 976 numbers and is told not to call anymore.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
15.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Little Kicks (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.0/10 X  
Jerry is forced to bootleg a movie for Kramer's friend. George tries the "bad boy" image. No one has the heart to tell Elaine that she's a terrible dancer. (22 mins.)
“ S8E4
Elaine's outrageous dance at the office party is all kicks and thumbs (more like a full-body dry heave), but she thinks George is to blame for her loss of respect at work. She tells co-worker Anna to stay away from George who works the 'bad boy' angle, especially when he's ironing. Jerry gets his start bootlegging movies at gunpoint from Brody, but when he discovers he has some talent it goes to his head.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
16.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Hamptons (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.1/10 X  
The gang goes to the Hamptons for the weekend to visit Elaine's friend new baby. (22 mins.)
“ S5E21
George gets caught with his pants down getting out of the pool, which causes Elaine to learn about 'Shrinkage.' Also while in the Hamptons, we meet an extremely ugly baby, George's girlfriend goes topless, Kramer steals some Lobsters, and the pediatrician calls both Elaine and the baby 'breath-taking'. George gets some revenge in the end with some lobster eggs.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
17.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Pothole (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
Jerry accidentally drops his girlfriend's toothbrush in the toilet. George loses his car keys in a newly paved pothole. Elaine orders food from a restaurant that refuses to deliver to her area. Kramer adopts a highway. (22 mins.)
“ S8E16
"Oh the Humanity!" cries Newman as his mail truck turns into a fireball. Jerry knocks Jenna's (Kristen Davis) toothbrush into the toilet and can't kiss her, so she decides to put 'something' of Jerry's in the toilet. Kramer adopts a highway and decides unwisely to make 'extra-wide lanes'. Elaine has to order flounder to a janitor's closet and George saves a couple bucks by using a jackhammer himself to dig up a pothole that contains his Phil Rizzuto talking keychain which causes a toilet to erupt.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
18.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Fatigues (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Jerry's new girlfriend's mentor is dating Bania. Kramer volunteers to host a Jewish singles mixer. George tries to study up on risk management. Elaine promotes a man she is afraid to fire. (22 mins.)
“ S8E6
Frank's war story flashback is fantastic in how it unfolds with the bad steer, spices, and all the puking. Jerry is dating Abby who has a mentor that is dating Bania. George hates reading because he doesn't like the sound of his own voice in his head, so he gets some books on tape for the blind and the reader sounds just like him. Elaine wants to fire Eddie from the mailroom but instead promotes him, which makes her writing staff leave. Kramer has three kitchens going until Frank overcomes his fears (I'm back baby!) to help cook for a Jewish singles night. Even the bit gag about Jerry helping Bania write a good Ovaltine joke is funny (It's gold Jerry, Gold!)
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
19.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Jimmy (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.1/10 X  
The gang has various encounters with a man named Jimmy, who talks about himself in the 3rd person. Elaine... (22 mins.)
“ S6E19
Jimmy always refers to himself in the third person which confuses Elaine. Jerry notices a Penthouse magazine in Tim Whately's (Bryan Cranston) waiting room, then sees Tim take a hit of gas, then wakes up with this shirt untucked. Kramer is drooling from some novcaine and is mistaken for a mentally challenged individual and is invited to the AMCA ceremony. George's B-plot is also pretty good with him sweating at inopportune times due to his workout and spicy food.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
20.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Fusilli Jerry (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.9/10 X  
Kramer gets new license plates, but a DMV screw-up gives him a new vanity license plate - "ASS MAN"... (22 mins.)
“ S6E21
Kramer's new license plate says 'ASS MAN' which was meant to go a proctologist that Frank needs to see because he gets a sculpture of Jerry made out of noodles stuck up his ass. Elaine let's Jerry know that Puddy is using his move that ends in a 'swirl' (not to be confused with George's move that uses a knuckle). Frank's move is 'stopping short' which Kramer uses on Estelle, and George gets caught with a cheat sheet.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
21.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Outing (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.4/10 X  
A prank by Elaine leads a newspaper journalist to think that Jerry and George are gay. (22 mins.)
“ S4E17
'Not that there's anything wrong with that!' Jerry and George are mistaken as gay by a reporter, which leads to some funny situations. Jerry's broken 2-way phone gets a damaging article printed and Estelle goes back in the hospital where George gets to see another sponge bath through the curtain. This all comes together in the end when George is trying to dump his girlfriend by pretending to be gay which ruins Jerry's chances with the reporter. Kramer has the phone man over.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
22.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Opposite (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.6/10 X  
George decides to turn his life around by doing the exact opposite of what he would usually do. Elaine is having a lot of bad luck. Jerry keeps breaking even. Kramer gets the coffee table book published. (22 mins.)
“ S5E22
My second favorite episode that really showcases George's character is when he decides to do everything opposite of what his instincts are, which leads to a hot girlfriend, a standing ovation, and a job with the Yankees. Jerry is 'Even Sten' which means that as George goes up, Elaine goes down. Elaine loses her job over a hankerchief and she loses her boyfriend over some jujyfruits. Kramer's appearance promoting his coffee table book on Regis goes sour over some hot coffee. The bit with Elaine throwing $20 out the window is classic.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
23.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Muffin Tops (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
Elaine opens a new bakery that sells only the tops of the muffins. (22 mins.)
“ S8E21
Elaine's habit of only eating Muffin Tops and leaving the stumps causes Mr. Lippman to open his Muffin Top store, 'Top of the muffin to you!' George wears touristy clothes and gets a date with Mary Ann of the NY visitor center, which causes him to scheme an extravagant lie about how New York won't eat him alive. Jerry shaves his chest by accident and turns into the Wolfman and Kramer parodies the real life Kramer's bus tour. No dump in town will take the muffin stumps. Two great laughs in this episode are the homeless shelter's refusal to take muffin stumps and Kramer's warning to Jerry about shaving. And who could forget Newman as "the Cleaner."
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
24.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Cadillac (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
In this hour-long episode, Jerry performs the biggest show of his life in Atlantic City. He receives a rather generous pay check for the event... (22 mins.)
“ S7E14/S7E15
George fantasizes about dating Marisa Tomei even though he is with Susan. Kramer and Elaine find out Jerry makes some big bucks which changes their relationship. Jerry decides to spend his big check on a Cadillac for his dad which arouses suspicion in the retirement community. Jack Klompus wants Morty impeached for embezzlement and the vote hinges on the 'old bag'. George and Elaine work out the details of a lie to tell Susan, and she sees through the scheme because Elaine doesn't know what Art Vandelay exports. Kramer's plot about making the cable guy wait for him makes me smile on the inside, but the biggest laugh is when Susan finds George making out with the couch pillow.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
25.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Junior Mint (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.9/10 X  
Elaine's ex-boyfriend is recovering in the hospital and has surgery. The gang goes to visit. Kramer... (22 mins.)
“ S4E21
Jerry dates a girl with a name that rhymes with a female body part. Jerry tries 'Mulva' but it's really 'Delores.' Elaine visits Roy in the hospital with Jerry as a fake boyfriend, until she sees that Roy has lost a lot of weight and starts to flirt with him. Kramer gets an invite to watch Roy's surgery and accidently drops a Juinor Mint into his chest. George buys Roy's art because he thinks it will be worth big bucks when Roy dies.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
26.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Pie (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
While shopping for a new suit for a job interview, George and the others stumble upon a mannequin which scarily resembles Elaine. Meanwhile Jerry tries to figure out why his girlfriend won't try his apple pie at Monks. (22 mins.)
“ S5E15
Poppie doesn't wash his hands after using the restroom ("Poppie's been sloppy") and then heads out to cook Jerry some dinner. Elaine steals a mannequin that looks just like her after it gets put into some provocative positions. George needs to wait until Friday to get a suit on sale for an interview, but it 'swooshes' when he walks. Kramer dates a girl with long fingernails because she can scatch his itch.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
27.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Gymnast (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
George's girlfriend's mom thinks he is a bum when she catches George eating an éclair out of the trash can... (22 mins.)
“ S6E6
George eats an eclair out of the garbage and looks even more like a bum when he's caught washing coffee off a car and coming out of the bathroom shirtless. Jerry dates an olympic gymnast which Kramer says will lead to unbelievable sex. It turns out that Kramer was not only wrong, but the gymnast had her own expectations and remarks 'you are no comedian.' Kramer is passing a kidney stone and his scream causes Misha to fall from a tightrope. Mr. Pitt doesn't like fountain pens which leads to Elaine getting inky hands and Mr. Pitt giving a meeting looking like Hitler.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
28.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Suicide (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
After a suicide attempt by Jerry's neighbor lands him in a coma, Jerry begins a relationship with his girlfriend. George visits a psychic who predicts trouble on his upcoming trip. Elaine agonizes over having to fast before surgery. (22 mins.)
“ S3E12
Jerry is tempted to make out with Gina in the hospital in front of her boyfriend who is in a coma. Jerry tries to bribe Newman with a Drake's coffee cake, which is stolen by Elaine because she is hungry from fasting for an ulcer test. George gets an unfinished warning from a psychic which causes him to not go on a vacation. Kramer goes in his stead and has the time of his life hanging out with nude models, but steps on a Jellyfish.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
29.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Tape (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
George orders hair growing cream from China. Jerry is mesmerized by a dirty message left on a tape recorder from his last performance. George becomes infatuated with Elaine. (22 mins.)
“ S3E8
Jerry finds a provocative message left on his tape recorder and tries to discover the woman responsible. Elaine tells George it was her which causes George to want Elaine, and Kramer doesn't help this situation when he pretends to be filming an adult movie. George tries to order a cure for baldness from China with the help of a Chinese Food deliveryman. The cream turns out to stink.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
30.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Pony Remark (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.1/10 X  
Jerry fears that an inappropriate comment he made at a dinner party caused his relative's subsequent death. (22 mins.)
“ S2E2
Jerry offends Aunt Manya when he makes a joke about hating kids that had ponies. When Aunt Manya dies, Jerry debates over going to her funeral or to the softball championship game, even though he struggles with the possibility he may have killed her. Elaine schemes to get Aunt Manya's apartment and Uncle Leo won't stop talking about his son Jeffrey of the Parks Department. Kramer makes a wager with Jerry about turning his apartment into 'levels' but welches on the bet.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
31.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Good Samaritan (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.1/10 X  
Jerry trails a hit-and-run driver but is attracted to her and begins dating her; he later learns her victim was a longtime quarry and dates the latter as well. Kramer begins having seizures whenever he hears Mary Hart's voice. (22 mins.)
“ S3E19
Jerry lies to Elaine about who committed a hit and run because he winds up dating the real culprit. Things get complicated when the car that got hit was Becky Gelke (Helen Slater) and when Jerry offers to pay the damages he looks guilty. Elaine makes up a lie about dating the matador 'Edwardo Corrochio'. George says 'God Bless You' to a married woman and then has an affair with her, but Jerry thinks we should all say, 'You are so good lookin.' Oh, and there is that funny bit where Kramer has a seizure every time he hear's Mary Hart's voice from Entertainment Tonight.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
32.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Implant (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
Jerry insists that his new girlfriend has implants. But she keeps insisting that they're "real and spectacular". The mystery goes even deeper when Elaine meets her in the sauna and trips and lands on her breasts. (22 mins.)
“ S4E19
George gets caught "Double Dipping" a chip and gets into a fight with his girlfriend's brother Timmy. Kramer thinks he sees Salmon Rushdie at the gym but is was only Saul Bass. Jerry and George have trouble making a move from the left, which causes problems for George because his girlfriend has trouble hearing from the wrong side. Jerry is dating Sidra (Teri Hatcher) and Elaine says she has fake breasts. Jerry sends Elaine into the Sauna to find out and she trips into them. Sidra unravels the plot and dumps Jerry saying 'They are real and they are spectacular!'
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
33.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Maid (1998)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.2/10 X  
Jerry winds up dating the maid he hired, and she starts to slack off on her duties. (22 mins.)
“ S9E19
George wants to be nicknamed 'T-Bone' but instead gets nicknamed 'KoKo the monkey'. Jerry starts sleeping with his maid Cindy, who still wants paid after she stops cleaning. Kramer's starts a long distance relationship with his girlfriend when she moves downtown and he gets lost on the corner of 1st and 1st ("the nexus of the universe"). Jerry is confronted by Cindy's maid pimp and gets busted by the cops giving Cindy money on his way to pick up Kramer. Elaine has to change her number to a new area code when she is assaulted by Kramer's fax calls. She winds up talking to a kid who doesn't know his grandmother is dead. George's plan to change his nickname backfires and he gets the nickname 'Gammy'.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
34.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Puffy Shirt (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.0/10 X  
Kramer and his soft-spoken friend Leslie start a new line of clothing and Jerry accidentally agrees to wear it on the Today show. (22 mins.)
“ S5E3
Kramer is dating Leslie who is a low-talker and Jerry unknowingly agrees to wear a puffy pirate shirt on the Today show. George, after moving back in with his parents, is spotted by an agent for his beautiful hands. He becomes a hand model but that is put short when he grabs a hot iron after mocking the puffy shirt and getting pushed by Leslie.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
35.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Comeback (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
George tries to come up with a good comeback after someone insults him. Elaine falls in love with a mysterious employee at the video store. Kramer wants to die a certain way. Jerry takes advice from a tennis player who stinks. (22 mins.)
“ S8E12
George has a great comeback, 'The Jerkstore called, and they're running out of you.' and he goes to great lengths to use it. He gets zinged back with 'Why, you're their best-seller!' and then he retorts 'I had sex with you're wife!' which doesn't work because it turns out the guy's wife was in a coma. Elaine is a fan of Vincent's picks at the video store and she wants to meet him after he mysteriously calls her. He gets her to bring him vodka, cigarettes, and fireworks but then gets busted because he is only a teenager. Kramer decides to get a living will after watching only half a movie about someone in a coma. Jerry threatens to expose Milos as a tennis hack but doesn't, so Milos sends his wife to have sex with Jerry, but he can't go through with it. Jerry agrees to let Milos win at Tennis to save face, but Milos goes too far with the taunts ("Another Game for Milos!") and a series of events causes the tennis ball machine to pelt Kramer in the head. He wakes up to Elaine pulling the plug.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
36.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Calzone (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.9/10 X  
George gets Steinbrenner hooked on eggplant calzones from a local Italian restaurant. But George gets... (22 mins.)
“ S7E20
George and Steinbrenner really enjoy calzones together, that is until George gets caught with his hand in the tip jar and gets banned from the pizza joint. I love that bit because he only wanted to get noticed giving a tip and the clerk was always looking away. Jerry is dating a girl so beautiful she always gets what she wants, such as sold-out movie tickets and Jerry out of a speeding ticket. Elaine is dating Todd Gak who is using a dating loophole and never really asks her out, like his bet that Dustin Hoffman was in Star Wars. Elaine even meets Todd's parents. Kramer likes his clothes right of the dryer, but then starts using the oven to warm his clothes. He lugs a ton of coins down to the Calzone place to help George when the plan with Newman falls through because we learn that Newman doesn't deliver mail when it rains.
My Rating: 9/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
37.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Betrayal (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.1/10 X  
The gang goes to a wedding in India in this special episode told in reverse. Meanwhile, Kramer uses his superstition to try to make sure he won't drop dead. (22 mins.)
“ S9E8
The Backwards Episode has a lot of gags that really work by playing with the gimmick, such as like Kramer's Lolly-pop, Susan's one-liner 'You can stuff your sorries in a sack Mister', the sneeze, and even all the way back to when Jerry meets Kessler and tells him 'what's mine is yours'. The actual story of the episode sends George/Jerry/Elaine to India for Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding where George gets mad at Jerry for sleeping with his date Nina during an awkward pause. Elaine blabs twice because she is 'schnapped'. Kramer works hard to get 'un-cursed' from FDR for hitting him with snowball. Newman also apparently has all his birthday wishes come true.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
38.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Bubble Boy (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.9/10 X  
George and Susan invite Jerry, his girlfriend Naomi, Elaine and Kramer to spend the weekend at her parents' cabin upstate... (22 mins.)
“ S4E7
"Moops, not Moors" is a pretty funny line, but I thought Jerry describing his girlfriend's laugh as 'Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer' was even better. Jerry and Elaine agree to go to Susan's cabin and George drives too fast en route to the Bubble Boy causing Jerry to get lost. George has his altercation with the Bubble Boy over a Trivial Pursuit misprint and Jerry has second thoughts about how he autographs his posters in a dinner. Kramer burns down the cabin with a Cuban cigar and he wasn't even supposed to be there.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
39.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Shower Head (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
Peterman wants Elaine to go to Africa, but when Elaine tests positive for Opium in her physical, that means no dice... (22 mins.)
“ S7E16
Low-Flow shower heads in the apartments give Jerry and Kramer bad hair so Kramer winds up buying the Commando 450 model on the black market made for elephants, and he gets blown out of the shower. Elaine fails a drug test because she is eating poppy-seed bagels and misses out on a trip to Kenya, even after getting Helen Seinfeld's urine. Jerry builds up Uncle Leo to get him to dump his girlfriend and then Jerry tears him back down to get him back with her. Frank and Estelle almost move to Florida just to spite Morty and Helen.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
40.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Merv Griffin Show (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.1/10 X  
George runs over a flock of pigeons. Jerry's new girlfriend has a toy collection. A new co-worker is freaking Elaine out. Kramer rebuilds the set of the Merv Griffin Show in his apartment. (22 mins.)
“ S9E6
Kramer acting like a TV Show host with the set of the Merv Griffin show staged in his apartment is pretty out there, but Michael Richards really sells the bit, especially when he goes for a commercial break. I love when George walks onto the set. Jerry's girlfriend has a vintage toy collection so they do all they can to get her to sleep so they can play, even Elaine partakes when she finds out about the Easy-bake oven. George feels the pigeons are breaking 'the deal' and then he has to take a squirrel to a vet that requires tiny instruments. Elaine's co-worker is a 'sidler' until she gives him some tic tacs, but that just drives Peterman nuts. The best line in the episode belongs to Jim Fowler, Kramer's animal guest, who asks 'Where are the cameras?'
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
41.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Postponement (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Feeling overwhelmed, George wants to postpone marrying Susan. (22 mins.)
“ S7E2
This episode ranks so high for me solely based on the coda. George is in bed with Susan watching TV when the Rabbi repeats on air the story about George wondering if seeing a prostitute is considered cheating. That bit had me in stitches. Elaine confesses everything to the Rabbi and he blabs to everybody. Another funny part is George seemingly getting the courage to ask for a wedding postponement by witnessing a guy handle his crying girlfriend at Monks. It's great that George ends up crying like a baby to get his way. Kramer also has a funny physical comedy bit when he tries to sneak a coffee into the movies in his pants.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
42.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Doorman (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
Elaine house-sits for Mr. Pitt. Jerry goes to meet up with her to go to the movies and winds up offending the Doorman... (22 mins.)
“ S6E18
Bro or Manssiere? The reaction shot when Frank takes off his shirt is priceless as is Estelle catching Frank and Kramer dancing in the male undergarment. The Doorman (Larry Miller) has it out for Jerry until Jerry agrees to watch his post and then the lobby couch gets stolen. Jerry replaces the couch with the one Poppie pee'd on, but then Poppie pees on it again for a good laugh.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
43.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Cigar Store Indian (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
Jerry is deemed a racist when he purchases a Native American statue for Elaine. Kramer tries to get Elaine's company to publish his coffee table book... (22 mins.)
“ S5E10
Estelle finding George's used condom wrapper in her bed is a great laugh, as is Jerry trying to avoid Indian phrases that might be construed as racist, such as scalper, reservation, and Indian giver. Also in this episode is a great plot around Frank's TV Guide which gets turned into a flower bouquet for Elaine by a creepy guy on the subway (who turns out to be the mastermind behind the mannequins in The Pie). Also good in this episode is Kramer pitching his coffee table book about coffee tables and his quick-stop Gyros.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
44.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Nose Job (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.2/10 X  
Jerry dates a vacuous actress and struggles with overcoming his sexual desire for her. George dates a woman with a large nose, who decides to get a nose job after a careless comment from Kramer. (22 mins.)
“ S3E9
This one ranks so high on the sheer awesomeness of Kramer's line: "You just need a nose job." It just hits on the exact perfect note that makes you spit out your drink if you just so happened to be sipping at that moment. I also was amused by Jerry's penis and brain chess match when he can't stand reading scripts with Tawny Kitaen anymore. George's big nosed girlfriend gets butchered by the plastic surgeon and he dumps her, only she gets another nose job and becomes beautiful and starts dating Kramer. The bit where Kramer and Elaine pretend to be together to get his jacket back is good for a couple chuckles.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
45.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Invitations (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.9/10 X  
It's finally time for George and Susan's wedding. George doesn't think he can go through with the wedding... (22 mins.)
“ S7E24
The unexpected death of Susan by licking George's cheap invitations is classic, especially their indifferent reaction when the Doctor gives the news. But what's really good in this episode is George's attempts to break off the engagement, such as when he tries to pull off smoking, or asking for a pre-nup and having Susan laugh right in his face. Another good part is Jerry getting saved by Jeannie (Janeane Garofalo) and his decision to get engaged while sitting on the pier just like how it played out for George. Jerry likes Jeannie so much because she is just like him ('he swept himself off his feet!'). I also liked Kramer getting demoted in the wedding for thinking Susan's name was Lilly. Kramer's side story about wanting $100 dollars from the bank because they said Hey instead of Hello is just mediocre.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
46.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Phone Message (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
George leaves several awkward messages on a girlfriend's answering machine, then decides to steal the tape. (22 mins.)
“ S2E7
I absolutely love the bit where Jerry's girlfriend Donna gets mad at Jerry because he told George and Kramer about the fight they had over the Docker's commercial and Jerry gets busted about it. George not getting the signal of what 'coming up for coffee' meant is great and so is their plan to try and switch the answering machine tape because George left way too many nasty messages.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
47.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Switch (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.0/10 X  
Elaine loans Mr. Pitt's expensive tennis racket to an executive from Doubleday who hints there may be a job opening for Elaine soon... (22 mins.)
“ S6E10
This is the episode where we learn Kramer's first name is Cosmo. Jerry wants out of a relationship with a girl who doesn't laugh but he likes her roommate. George and Jerry plot a way to successfully pull off 'the switch' which has never been done before. George's brilliant idea is to suggest a 'Menage a Trois' which should disgust the current girlfriend and flatter the roommate. Things go awry when they are both into it and Jerry can't go through with it because he doesn't want to be an 'orgy guy' (what an idiot). Also in this episode, Newman sleeps with Babs Kramer, George thinks his girlfriend is bulimic and tries to catch her in the act of 'refunding', and Elaine tries to steal back Mr. Pitt's tennis racket to no success.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
48.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Alternate Side (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
Jerry's car is stolen. Elaine dates an older man. Kramer gets a small role in a Woody Allen movie filmed on his and Jerry's block. George must deal with the commotion of the movie filming as he gets a job parking cars on the block. (22 mins.)
“ S3E10
"These pretzels are making me thirsty!" is Kramer's infamous line in the Woody Allen movie being filmed in front of Jerry's apartment. At the same time, George has taken over moving cars and he gets supremely flustered and causes a major traffic jam. Jerry's car is stolen and Jerry calls the thief on his car phone in which Kramer asks for his gloves back. Elaine is about to dump her old boyfriend when he has a stroke and she does her best to take care of him, until she dumps him anyway.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
49.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Pick (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
George has decided he's made a terrible mistake in breaking up with Susan. He moans and groans and is generally driving everybody crazy... (22 mins.)
“ S4E13
Elaine sends out a Christmas card that shows her nipple, and George gets a face-full when he complains that he didn't get one. Jerry loses out on dating a model when she catches him picking his nose, but he was really just scratching it. She doesn't want to hear his explanation, 'I am not an animal!' Kramer is outraged at Calvin Klein for selling his 'beach cologne' idea, but settles for an underwear modelling gig (in which he slides off a wall wearing tighty-whities).
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
50.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Yada Yada (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.1/10 X  
George's new girlfriend keeps including "Yada Yada" in her stories. Jerry is offended by Tim Whatley's Jewish jokes. Elaine tries to help her friends adopt a baby. Kramer and Mickey fight over two women. (22 mins.)
“ S8E19
Elaine admitting that she 'Yadda Yaddad' sex but that she didn't skip the best part, ('No, I mentioned the Bisque') is one of the great exchanges in the show. George's girlfriend always saying yadda yadda is eventually revealed to be covering up her shoplifting ways. Jerry thinks Tim Whately converted to Judaism 'for the jokes', but when Jerry makes a dentist joke, Kramer accuses Jerry of being an Anti-Dentite. In a somewhat funny plotline, Kramer and Mickey can't decide which girl they are dating and Mickey winds up marrying the wrong girl. Elaine's plot where she sleeps with an adoption agent to help ease over her gaffe is kind of depressing and drags this episode down from greatness.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
51.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Burning (1998)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
Elaine finds out that Puddy is religious. Kramer pretends to have gonorrhea. Jerry's new girlfriend has a tractor story to tell him. George wants everyone at work to like him. (22 mins.)
“ S9E16
“I’m not the one going to hell” is Puddy’s great line to Elaine when she asks him if he cares about her religious views. This all starts when she finds Christian Rock channel presets on his car radio and ends with her and a priest making a devil face at Puddy. Jerry is dating a girl that gets annoyed he doesn’t recognize her saying ‘It’s Me!’ on the telephone, but when Jerry pulls the same stunt he learns about the ‘Tractor Story’. George thinks she might have ‘toe-thumbs’, but really she just got Gonorrhea from a tractor seat. Kramer gets typecast as an actor with Gonorrhea and George gets more work than he anticipated when he learns to always leave on a high note. Kruger’s line “Well, I’m not going to worry about it” is pretty funny and under-rated.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
52.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Pool Guy (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
Jerry has a hard time telling the pool guy at his new health club that there isn't room for a 5th member of the group... (22 mins.)
“ S7E8
Kramer acting like Moviefone is hilarious, especially when he asks callers such as George to press selections but doesn’t understand the tones. Even better is George’s 'Two worlds collide' storyline where Elaine and Susan go to an exhibit together; Relationship George is about to kill Independent George. The titular plot about the Pool Guy is just OK, but the bit at the end with him poking a swimming Jerry with a stick is pretty good.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
53.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Chinese Woman (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
George's telephone line crosses with that of a woman named Donna Chang, and everyone seeks her advice when she convinces them that she's Chinese. Jerry winds up dating her. Things get worse when Frank and Estelle announce a separation. Jerry and Elaine can't seem to figure out why Frank Costanza is having mysterious business dealings with a man in a cape. (22 mins.)
“ S6E4
I love the bit where Jerry and Elaine learn that Kramer is going commando because he has a low sperm count. The other good storyline is where Jerry thinks he is going out with a Chinese woman named Donna Chang. He meets her because of a crossed phone line and she is anything but Chinese, even though she says things like ‘Ridicerus’ and has an acupuncture class. Donna even almost talks Estelle out of a divorce to Frank until Estelle learns she isn’t what she seems. Elaine’s story is also pretty good where she keeps hanging up on Noreen’s new boyfriend because he is boring.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
54.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Doll (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
George freaks out when he discovers that Susan has a doll that looks exactly like his mother. Jerry... (22 mins.)
“ S7E17
Susan has a doll that looks just like Estelle and it drives George mad, which is great, especially the scene where the doll is in bed with them and also when the doll is talking to George at Monks. This episode also features the ‘old conductor’s trick’ to keep a pants crease that the Maestro teaches to Kramer which gets Jerry into trouble. The story about Frank turning George’s old room into a billiards hall called “The Place to Be” is amusing but not as funny as I remembered. Jerry’s story about trying to acquire some BBQ sauce isn’t all that great probably because Kathy Griffin is more annoying than funny. Frank meeting his cousin in Tuscany during the coda is pretty good.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
55.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Old Man (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.3/10 X  
Elaine gets the gang to volunteer at an old folks' home. She gets freaked out by hers, George gets fired by his guy... (22 mins.)
“ S4E18
The whole “dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body” line is fantastic, both when George says it (and does it) with the woman from Senegal who speaks no English and Elaine’s old Goiter lady who had an affair with Ghandi. Jerry’s old man Sid gets his dentures destroyed in a garbage disposal and runs away. Kramer’s story isn’t that funny when he tries to sell old records for a profit with Newman. The coda is really good with the two old men sitting at Monks talking like George and Jerry.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
56.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Mango (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
Elaine makes a startling confession. (22 mins.)
“ S5E1
The whole opening bit at Monks is classic, starting with George having a problem ‘south of the equator’ and getting ‘the tap’ and then Elaine admitting that she faked her orgasms with Jerry. The rest of the episode doesn’t live up to the opening, though a few amusing bits are when Kramer tries to return a bitten peach, George worrying about his performance after some delicious risotto, and Jerry begging Elaine for a second chance in bed.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
57.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Summer of George (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
Unemployed again, George decides to have a "memorable" summer. Jerry's new girlfriend has another dude. Kramer wins a Tony Award. A new girl at work is hostile towards Elaine. (22 mins.)
“ S8E22
Jerry asks Lanette (Amanda Peet) to the Tony awards but she has “a dude.” She gets rid of her dude but it takes both Jerry and George to appease her hectic schedule. George gets to lay around all summer because of his Yankees severance money, so he builds a fridge into his recliner. Kramer’s story is amusing where he gets a job as ‘seat filler’ and then gets swept up into winning a Tony. He gets to keep the award if he fires Raquel Welch. Molly Shannon walks with straight arms and even trashes Elaine’s desk at work, but Elaine is the one acting all ‘catty’ and getting into a fight with Raquel. George ends up spending all summer in physical therapy because his atrophied body can't take a fall when he slips on an expensive glossy invitation.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
58.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Note (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Jerry and George get their dentist in trouble while trying to get free massages. George feels uncomfortable getting a massage from a man. Kramer sees Joe DiMaggio in a donut shop. (22 mins.)
“ S3E1
This episode is hilarious when George gets a male massage therapist and wonders about his sexuality because ‘it moved.’ Kramer’s side story about seeing Joe Dimaggio dunking donuts is amusing, especially the ending shot. Jerry’s story where he freaks out his masseuse and the story with his doctor getting in trouble for fraud are only OK.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
59.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Hot Tub (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
Wilhelm thinks George is cracking under the pressure of working in the big leagues. So he has George... (22 mins.)
“ S7E5
The great story in this episode is George getting away with doing nothing at work because his trick is to just act annoyed. This lands him on a special assignment to take out reps from the Astros who say ‘bastard’ and ‘sons of bitches’ a lot, which winds up upsetting Elaine’s neighbor who has a son out of wedlock. Kramer gets a hot tub in his apartment which is pretty good, especially when he falls asleep in it and the heater fails which lowers his core body temperature. The Jean-Paul running a marathon story is amusing, mostly because of Jerry’s antics and the call to the wake-up service. Kramer’s new heat pump blowing the circuit and turning off the wake up alarm is pretty good.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
60.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Beard (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
Elaine attempts to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. Kramer sets George up with a woman and, not having a photograph... (22 mins.)
“ S6E16
The two really funny bits in this episode are when Elaine throws George’s toupee out the window after he says ‘No, I *was* bald’ and when Jerry fails a lie detector test about watching Melrose Place. George dates a bald woman and Kramer gets paid to be in police line-ups after he puts a coin in a homeless man's coffee. Elaine acts as a ‘beard’ for a gay man, but she falls for him and tries to seduce him only to find out that she just doesn’t have the same experience.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
61.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Andrea Doria (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
A survivor of a shipwreck beats George out of an apartment, so George decides to tell the landlords the tragedies of his life in hopes of getting it back based on pity. (22 mins.)
“ S8E10
George has to plead his case on why his miserable life is a lot worse than that of an Andrea Doria survivor to get an apartment. The other pretty funny plot is where Elaine is dating a ‘bad breaker-upper’ who says she has a big head. This means nothing at first, until an incident with a taxi driver and a bird flying into head causes her to stab him with a fork. Newman’s story about losing out on a transfer to Hawaii is amusing, especially when Jerry dons the postal uniform and is too efficient at delivering mail. The Kramer plot in this is pretty absurd where he acts like a dog and has to go fetch help like Lassie. That bit really knocks this episode down a peg for me even if the rest is still really good.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
62.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Red Dot (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
George gets a job at Elaine's office and gets involved with the cleaning woman. Elaine's boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic who falls off the wagon because of Jerry's carelessness. George buys Elaine a marked-down cashmere sweater. (22 mins.)
“ S3E11
George getting fired because he had sex with the cleaning woman cracks me up every time. Jason Alexander just really nails that scene, especially the line, ‘Was that wrong?’ Kramer noticing the red dot on the cashmere sweater is also pretty good. Jerry accidently sets an alcoholic drink down at Elaine’s office party near the recovering Dick. Dick heckles Jerry during one of the stand up routine segments and then goes on a rampage through Elaine's office.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
63.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Apartment (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.0/10 X  
When an apartment becomes available in Jerry's building, he helps Elaine get it, only to regret his decision to do so. George starts wearing a wedding ring because he's heard that it helps single guys pick up women. (22 mins.)
“ S2E8
Jerry worries about his ‘home bed advantage’ when he recommends Elaine for a newly vacated upstairs apartment before thinking it through. George tries to attract women by wearing a wedding ring, but that plan backfires as we all knew it would. Kramer solves Jerry’s Elaine problem by finding a new tenant that is willing to pay more than Elaine for the apartment; too bad for Jerry it turns out to be a rock band. This is also the first time Elaine uses her famous 'Get Out!' line.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
64.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Sniffing Accountant (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
The gang gets suspicious of their accountant. (22 mins.)
“ S5E4
This episode has that amazing scene where Kramer drinks a beer and smokes a cigarette at the same time while trying to score some cocaine from Jerry’s accountant Barry. Kramer tries to snap a photograph when he kicks the stall door in on Barry. Elaine gets into a fight with the perfect guy over his non-use of exclamation points, which I think is fantastic. George almost gets a job as a bra salesman after nailing an interview, but he botches it when he touches the fabric of a woman at the elevator. It turns out Barry was just sniffing because of Jerry’s awful mohair sweater, but he did have a drug problem and Jerry loses out anyway.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
65.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Chinese Restaurant (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
Jerry, George and Elaine wait for a table at a Chinese restaurant. (22 mins.)
“ S2E6
I know this episode is rated very highly on a lot of lists, and I do give it credit for being ground breaking in how it changed the format of sitcoms, but at the end of the day I just don’t think the episode is funny enough to crack my top 50. It does have a couple funny jokes such as George leaving a sexual encounter because he had to poop and Elaine’s bet to eat some food off of a table of strangers. 'Cartwright?' is also funny. The host is pretty good always saying ‘5, 10 minutes’ but the meat of the episode just leaves me feeling like this one is generally over-rated.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
66.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Ex-Girlfriend (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
After George breaks up with his girlfriend, Jerry decides that he wants to see her. (22 mins.)
“ S2E1
Jerry goes out with George’s recent ex-girlfriend Marleen who in turn dumps Jerry because she doesn’t like his act. Jerry then says, ‘But you’re a cashier!’ which is hilarious. Elaine confronts a guy who stops nodding or saying Hi to her. George has an amusing plot where he tries to only pay half the bill at a chiropractor because he feels ripped off after the initial visit. Kramer has some great cantaloupe.
My Rating: 8/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
67.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Voice (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
George's colleagues try to force him to leave. Jerry makes fun of his girlfriend's bellybutton. Kramer hires an intern. Elaine gets back together with David Puddy. (22 mins.)
“ S9E2
“Heeellloooo, La La La” is how Jerry mimics his girlfriend’s belly button, and its pretty funny when Jerry has to choose between her and keeping the voice around. Elaine’s on-again off-again relationship with Puddy causes Jerry to bet her $50 that she won’t get back with Puddy after a ‘bump into' and she keeps coming back for double or nothing. She ends up losing a fortune as Jerry laughs with a cigar and rakes in the dough. Kramer gets Darren the intern to help with Kramerica Industries, but I didn't care for where they went with the story when they drop a rubber ball with oil out of a window. George’s siege warfare to keep his job at Play Now is chuckle-worthy but the episode just doesn’t come together in the end for me like how I think the writers intended.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
68.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Barber (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Jerry regrets giving his longtime barber the heave-ho after he gets a ridiculous-looking haircut. George... (22 mins.)
“ S5E8
Jerry always sees Enzo the Barber but is now getting bad haircuts, so he sneaks behind Enzo’s back to see the assistant Geno. Newman has a great scene where he is trying to steal some of Jerry’s hair that would be the proof Enzo needs. George gets assigned the Penske file at his new job but does nothing with it, mostly because he boasted himself as someone who understands everything immediately. Elaine’s side story with the bachelor auction is run of the mill with Kramer predictably falling off the stage. Jerry shaving Newman’s head at the end is pretty good.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
69.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Doodle (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
George dates a girl from Elaine's art class and wonders whether or not her humorous caricature of him is a sign that she likes him or not. Thanks to Newman's fleas, Jerry's visiting parents are forced to stay in Elaine's luxury hotel room. Elaine gets a potential job offer but accidentally leaves the manuscript in Jerry's flea-infested apartment. (22 mins.)
“ S6E20
Two great bits are when Kramer walks out of Jerry’s fumigated apartment and says he didn’t notice the skull and cross bones on the door, and the other is Jerry tormenting a flea-ridden Newman. George is upset at first when he finds out his girlfriend doesn’t care about looks, but then comes to realize he can ‘drape himself in velvet.' Kramer loses his sense of taste during Mackinaw peach season and Elaine nails a job interview using Kramer’s description of the manuscript she was supposed to read. The side story with Morty, Helen, and Uncle Leo living the good life at the Plaza seems completely out of character for them.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
70.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Maestro (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.3/10 X  
Elaine dates the conductor of an orchestra who insists everyone calls him "Maestro." (22 mins.)
“ S7E3
I remember loving this episode during the initial run and thought it would be much higher on my list, but on this viewing the episode really wasn’t as great as I had hoped. The story with George wanting the security guard to sit down is really lacking and Jerry’s plight to see if there are any places for rent in Tuscany is just OK. Bob Cobb, aka the Maestro is an awesome character and Jackie Chiles helping Kramer win free coffee for life really do a good job of redeeming this episode.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
71.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The English Patient (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
Elaine is dragged to see the movie "The English Patient" on multiple occasions, even though she absolutely hates the film. (22 mins.)
“ S8E17
The best part of this episode is all three generations of Mandelbaums throwing their backs out trying to prove themselves to Jerry. ‘Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!’ George’s story starts out pretty good when the beautiful Danielle mistakes George for her boyfriend Neil. A classic George bit is when in his plight to meet Neil he keeps missing obvious oppurtunities to date Danielle. Kramer wants Jerry to bring back real Cuban immigrants from Florida to wrap cigars, but they wind up rolling crepes instead. This story is a little too absurd for me, especially when their tightly wrapped crepes squirt burning liquid on Neil’s face. Elaine wants to see Sack Lunch but gets dragged to the English Patient by Peterman and has an outburst. Morty’s #1 Dad T-shirt is pretty good.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
72.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Sponge (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
After learning that her prophylactic of choice is being discontinued, Elaine buys a case of Today sponges and scrutinizes her dates for their sponge-worthiness. (22 mins.)
“ S7E9
“Sponge-worthy” entered the pop culture lexicon because of this episode. Elaine’s mad dash to procure a case of sponges and her interview process before she uses one is pretty good. Kramer stays up all night before the AIDs walk and then refuses to wear a red ribbon which leads to his confrontation with the gay thugs. Jerry gets a girl's number from an AIDS walk signup sheet but she appears to be too perfect for him, until he finds her wall of sponges. I found the lie Jerry tells about changing his pants size from 32 to 31 to be fairly nonsensical. George needing a sponge from Elaine for make-up sex is a bright spot.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
73.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Butter Shave (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
Kramer discovers the amazing yet unknown uses of butter, but accidentally fries himself after using it as sunscreen. (22 mins.)
“ S9E1
Kramer baking in the sun covered in butter is a little out there, but they really sell the bit and I cracked up when he got covered in oregano and parmesan and Newman couldn’t contain himself. The gag with Kramer’s head on the cooked turkey is pretty good. The concept of Bania being a ‘time slot’ hit is meta-funny, but Jerry tanking on purpose in striped suspenders to thwart him is kind of lame. Vegetable Lasagna is a great character and his situation on the plane sitting next to Elaine and Puddy made the story funnier than it should be. The best part of this episode though is George’s chase down the sidewalk on motorized carts from a gang of old people. George’s montage of acting disabled at Play Now also generates a few laughs.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
74.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Blood (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Jerry's parents hire their friend Izzy Mandelbaum to become Jerry's personal trainer while George decides to associate food and television with his love life. (22 mins.)
“ S9E4
George’s quest for the Trifecta in bed (sex/food/TV) is fantastic, as is his excuse to leave a sexual encounter because his bus transfer is about to expire. I lost it when he meets Vivian at the end, who thinks ‘Pastrami is the sexiest of the cured meats.' Jerry getting a blood transfusion from Kramer and Newman is pretty great from an icky perspective, but Kramer’s whole blood storage scheme is kind of weird and absurd. Elaine not getting asked to babysit is a decent side story, especially when she assaults Kramer on the porch. Jerry gets some training from Izzy Mandelbaum but ends up getting dragged behind his car.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
75.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Junk Mail (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.3/10 X  
Kramer is annoyed with the catalogs he keeps getting in the mail. Elaine falls in love with a guy because of his smile. George's parents are avoiding him. Jerry can't find it in his heart to reject a gift from an old school friend. (22 mins.)
“ S9E5
Kramer bricks in his mail slot and then tries to stop his mail as he ‘wants out completely.’ Newman warns him not to picket the postal service but then Kramer gets a visit from Wilfred Brimley, the postmaster general. Frank and Estelle want to cut George loose, so he schemes to date his cousin. The execution of that story is both icky and funny at the same time, as the cousin is really into George and wants to be 'bad' with George. There is a convoluted setup that puts Fragile Freddie’s van in the woods just so we can get the gag where George sees his parents having sex. Elaine dating the Wiz is only marginally funny, and I got the sense that it would have been classic if the guy playing the Wiz was a better actor as he oversells the part way too much. This episode does have one of my favorite deleted scenes, in which Elaine attempts to get her own coffee by going behind the counter at Monks.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
76.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Big Salad (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Kramer thinks that a simple penalty stroke may have driven his golf partner, Steve Gennison, to murder a dry cleaner. Jerry is stunned to learn that his girlfriend not only went out with, but was dumped by Newman. George thinks Elaine gave his girlfriend an incorrect thank you when it was actually George who paid for Elaine's lunch. Elaine flirts with a stationery store employee and thinks that she may have sent him the wrong message. (22 mins.)
“ S6E2
Jerry has an excellent story where he finds out his girlfriend Margaret once dated Newman. It gets even better when we learn that Newman dumped her! George finds himself musing over wanting credit for a big Salad he bought Elaine when his girlfriend takes the credit for it. Kramer’s golfing buddy Gendason murders a dry cleaner and Kramer feels responsible. Elaine agrees to go out with the clerk at the pen store after not picking up Mr. Pitt’s pen order. The ending scene with Kramer in a police chase driving a White Bronco doesn’t hold up well after all these years.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
77.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Pen (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Jerry and Elaine travel to Florida for a dinner in honor of his father. Jerry gets into an argument with a neighbor of his parents over an "astronaut pen." (22 mins.)
“ S3E5
The commentary on the politics of a retirement community really shine in this episode when Jerry accepts a pen from Jack Klompus and it makes life miserable for Helen and Morty. Elaine throwing her back out sleeping on pull out sofa is pretty good, as is the bickering over the temperature in the room. This episode is amusing all the way through.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
78.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Pez Dispenser (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
In this episode, Kramer joins the Polar Bears and Jerry obsesses over a hard to load Pez Dispenser. While George struggles to get "hand" from his pianist girlfriend whose concert is ruined due to Elaine's, "Pez induced laughter." (22 mins.)
“ S3E14
Two terrific scenes in this episode are Elaine laughing at a stupid joke and getting found out by George’s girlfriend, and George’s rant about needing more ‘hand’ in the relationship. He ends up going for the “pre-emptive breakup.” The whole plot where Jerry hosts an intervention for his comedian friend I found rather lifeless and the ending bit where the Pez dispenser saves the day feels a little contrived. Elaine laughing during the recital at the Tweety bird Pez dispenser didn’t hold up well for me over the years. Kramer gets the idea to make a cologne that smells like the beach.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
79.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Checks (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Jerry gets hundreds of royalty checks, worth 12 cents each, for appearing on a Japanese TV program and gets writer's cramp. George and Jerry pitch their pilot to Japanese TV executives. (22 mins.)
“ S8E7
The greatest thing about this episode is the Asian tourists sleeping in Kramer’s chest of drawers, which is classic. The tourists wind up there because Kramer doesn’t understand the exchange rate and he blows all their money. Elaine’s boyfriend Brett always needs to stop everything when the song ‘Desperado’ is played, which is one of my favorite character traits of all time. Brett assumes Jerry is down on his luck because of his 12 cent royalty checks and also when Jerry gets caught in the rain too poor for an umbrella. I didn't care for Umbrella Twirl story that Jerry has with the other umbrella salesmen. George feels cheated by the carpet cleaning service when they don't try to convert him, but they do wind up converting Wilhelm. A pretty good part is the Japanese TV execs confusion over a gift of oranges.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
80.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Understudy (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.3/10 X  
Jerry dates the ultra-sensitive understudy for Bette Midler in Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical. When... (22 mins.)
“ S6E24
The absolute best thing about this episode is George running over Bette Midler trying to score a run at home plate, but close to that is the bit where Jerry’s girlfriend Gennice (Bette's understudy) cries over her hot dog falling on the ground. The rest of that story arc includes Kramer becoming Bette’s assistant, all of New York upset over Bette's injury, and Gennice forgetting her lines on stage. Elaine’s story has her in a Korean nail salon where the workers are talking about her in Korean (calling her "princess".) She gets Frank to be her secret translator and he meets his lost love Kim. Frank tries to ‘stop short’ on Kim which is pretty decent if you already know the gag from “The Fusilli Jerry” (along with the Macaroni Midler).
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
81.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Wink (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
Jerry squirts grapefruit into George's eye at breakfast, and for the rest of the day George is misinterpreted because everyone thinks he is winking at them. (22 mins.)
“ S7E4
George gets some grapefruit juice in his eye which leads him to wink uncontrollably at times. This sets up a couple great scenes where he inadvertently gets his boss in trouble at work and with the wife (‘a massage, wink-wink.’) I wasn’t a big fan of the Kramer storyline where he tells a kid that Paul O'Neil will hit 2 home runs during a game to get a birthday card back, but Paul O'Neil’s dialog about how hitting home runs is hard is a good chuckle. Jerry’s story where he won’t eat meat is a little absurd and unbelievable. It’s funny that he hides chewed up bits of mutton and pork in his jacket pocket, but I just can’t believe he won’t suspend his diet to eat the stuff to save his relationship. Elaine getting chased by dogs wearing Jerry’s jacket is decent, but her best bit is sleeping ‘head to toe’ with her new boyfriend and Jerry’s observation that their genitals are still in the same area.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
82.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Little Jerry (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
Jerry bounces a check. Kramer buys a live chicken. George dates a female convict. Elaine dates a man who shaves his head. (22 mins.)
“ S8E11
George gets a new girlfriend that he met in prison and he realizes that ‘fugitive sex’ is even better than ‘conjugal visit sex.” His musings on dating a prisoner are pretty good, which include the “no pop-in” advantage, but that doesn't hold up when she escapes. Elaine dates a bald Kurt who looks like he’s from the future. Kurt learns he is really balding when he tries to grow his hair back after Elaine sees his driver's license picture. That story’s ending where Elaine gets engaged to him and Kurt goes to prison is absurd. Jerry and Kramer’s story about the chicken named “Little Jerry Seinfeld” and how they wind up at a cock-fighting match to remove a display of a bad check does produce two good laughs: Kramer getting pecked and George shouting, “Tamales!”
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
83.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Glasses (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
George loses his glasses at the health club. (22 mins.)
“ S5E2
George wearing prescription goggles and then him eating an onion are great. George, with poor eyesight, says he saw Jerry’s girlfriend Amy (Anna Gunn) kissing cousin Jeffrey and Jerry believes him because he spotted a dime from across the room. Elaine gets bit by a dog and fears she has rabies, which ends in a funny bit with her frothing at the mouth. Jerry shows his dark side while trying to trick Amy and Kramer roughs up a clerk with a Baby Ruth. Kramer’s entrance knocking loose an extremely shoddy installation of an air conditioner is amusing as things seem to fall out of all the windows in this episode.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
84.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Couch (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Elaine dates a moving guy, and things are going well for her until Jerry wants to know what his opinion on abortion is... (22 mins.)
“ S6E5
Poppie peeing on Jerry’s couch is classic. The abortion commentary is well done with Kramer and Poppie arguing over cucumbers and pizza, and then not so well done with Elaine’s storyline about dating the couch mover. George sneaks a look at the video store computer to find out who rented Breakfast at Tiffanys. He then goes to the renter's apartment and watches the movie with them. This starts off pretty funny but wears out its welcome as it goes on and George becomes irritating.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
85.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Smelly Car (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
After dinner, Jerry gets his car back from the valet. He and Elaine get in the car and realize that the valet has really bad B.O.... (22 mins.)
“ S4E22
A valet makes Jerry’s car stink and he muses that it is a "beast that can’t be stopped." Jerry tries to get recompense from the restaurant to some avail, but the capper to this story has Jerry giving an obvious invitation to a thief that has second thoughts because the car smells so bad. The smell getting into Elaine’s hair and her interaction with the stylist is entertaining. George wonders if he is turning women gay when he runs into Susan and Mona and then later Allison. Kramer turns Mona straight after he flirts with her.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
86.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Race (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9.0/10 X  
When George notices that Elaine's new boyfriend reads the Daily Worker, he asks if he's a Communist... (22 mins.)
“ S6E11
This episode has a great scene where George pretends to not know Jerry when he bumps into him at Monks and they insult each other. Jerry also has a good story where he won a race in high school and never raced again (“I choose not to run”) because of a head start nobody noticed. Kramer’s new job as a mall Santa is pretty good, especially when he starts spouting communist rhetoric at kids. Elaine gets blacklisted from Hop Sings and dates a communist. George gets mistaken as a communist at work and Steinbrenner sends him to Cuba for a meeting with Castro .
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
87.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Pitch (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
NBC executives ask Jerry to come up with an idea for a TV series. George decides he can be a sitcom writer and comes up with "nothing." Kramer trades a radar detector for a helmet, and later Newman receives a speeding ticket. (22 mins.)
“ S4E3
Two great bits in this episode are Kramer throwing up on Susan Ross after drinking old milk and Jerry getting revenge on a Tele-marketer when he tries to get the operators home phone number. The meeting between the NBC Executives and Jerry/George is highly entertaining because of George’s antics. Kramer trading a busted radar detector to Newman for a helmet turns out to be a good move for Kramer when crazy Joe Davola kicks Kramer in the head.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
88.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Statue (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.2/10 X  
A statue wanted by George is stolen from Jerry's apartment by the boyfriend of a writer Elaine is working with. (22 mins.)
“ S2E10
Jerry gets Ray to clean his apartment and Ray does an excellent job until Jerry suspects Ray of stealing a fairly unique statue. The whole situation is highly amusing, especially the great ending with Kramer dressing up like a detective to shake down Ray. George breaking the statue in the end is icing on the cake.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
89.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Non-Fat Yogurt (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
Kramer invests in a new non-fat yogurt store. (22 mins.)
“ S5E7
I love George’s fake arm tick and his ability to stick to his lie all the way up to his meeting with the Mayor’s doctor. The titular plot concerning the false advertising of a non-fat yogurt store doesn't hold up. Kramer dating the lab technician to try and foil Jerry/Elaine’s investigation doesn't do much either. Newman’s glee and hatred for Jerry is funny. A side story where Jerry curses around a kid and then has to apologize is amusing, especially because the parents swear like sailors. Elaine dating George’s nemesis Lloyd Braun is only good for the unforgettably bad idea of suggesting to the mayor that everybody should wear name tags to be more friendly. The ending where Jerry curses out the kid again is solid.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
90.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Nap (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.9/10 X  
George takes a nap under his desk. Kramer swims in the East River. Jerry has some maintenance done on his kitchen. Elaine's new boyfriend buys her a new mattress. (22 mins.)
“ S8E18
This episode has a great George story where he gets a carpenter to modify the underside of his desk for sleeping. This leads to a great bit where George is trapped under his desk as Steinbrenner waits him out singing ‘Heartbreaker.’ George gets Jerry to call in a bomb threat which obviously backfires. The carpenter outfits Jerry's apartment with a crazy new kitchen cabinets after Jerry gets tired of making every decision for him. Kramer starts swimming in the East River because the gym is overcrowded and it feels like a ‘flabby armed spanking machine.’ Elaine gets the wrong idea when her new boyfriend buys her a mattress. The episode does start to unravel in the end with the absurdity of Jerry’s demands and everyone swimming in the East River.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
91.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Puerto Rican Day (1998)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.3/10 X  
Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine get stuck in standstill traffic due to the massive Puerto Rican Day Parade. (22 mins.)
“ S9E20
“That’s gotta hurt!” is George’s line that gets him some laughs during the Hindenburg movie, that is until another viewer upstages him with a laser pointer. George being hounded by a red dot throughout the remainder of the episode is hilarious. Elaine’s plight to get home after getting stuck in traffic has her constantly thinking walking is faster than the taxi, and then has her in an under-bleacher passage that ends with a kiss. Krammer pretends to be Pennypacker so he can pee in an apartment for rent which leads to an encounter with Varnson and Vandelay. The whole controversial bit where Kramer lights the flag on fire by accident is not really that controversial when taken in context. Maroon Gulf calling Jerry a “Jack-ass” is giggle-worthy.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
92.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Caddy (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
Elaine's floozy former ex-roommate Sue Ellen Mischkie returns. George locks his keys in his car and leaves it in the Yankees parking lot... (22 mins.)
“ S7E12
The first appearance by Sue Ellen Mischke, the bra-less wonder and heiress of the Oh Henry! Fortune, entices Jerry to almost take her side when Kramer attempts to sue her. Elaine buys her nemesis a bra as a birthday gift to be spiteful but this backfires on her when all Sue Ellen wears is the bra, starting a fad and causing Jerry to get distracted while driving George's car. George spends the episode at Susan’s parent’s cabin when he discovers that his bosses think he is always at work when they see his parked car, which is only there because he locked his keys in it. When Steinbrenner notices George's wrecked car, he thinks George is dead and tells Frank, who leaves the message on Jerry’s machine, “George is dead.”
My Rating 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
93.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Raincoats (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.6/10 X  
In this two-part episode, Jerry's parents are visiting before leaving for France. Jerry has a hard time... (22 mins.)
“ S5E19/S5E20
Judge Reinhold is awesome as the ‘close-talker’ who really, really wants to show Morty and Helen a good time around New York, much to Elaine's dismay. Jerry is ‘backed-up’ and tries to find some time to make out with Rachel while his parents are staying with him. This eventually leads to his make out session during ‘Schindler’s List’ which Newman is all too happy to relay to Helen. This two part episode should really have only been a single episode and I would have given it a 9 or 10 and a much higher ranking, but at an hour, it drags on. George has a pedestrian story about selling Frank’s ‘cabana-wear’ to a vintage clothing store and Kramer goes into business with Morty selling a raincoat called ‘the Executive.’ Jack Klompus’s inability to get into Morty’s Florida garage and his shoddy packaging job ruin the deal. The Costanzas and Seinfelds meeting up on the cruise ship is a decent coda.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
94.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Pledge Drive (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Kramer finds Jerry's old birthday checks from his grandmother and insists he deposits them, which puts Nana in unexpected debt. Elaine accidentally tells the high talker a secret. Mr Pitt eats a Snickers bar with utensils. (22 mins.)
“ S6E3
Mr. Pitt likes to eat a Snickers with a knife and fork and this phenomenon catches on and perplexes Elaine. The episode also sees Elaine mistaking Dan as Noreen on the phone because he is a ‘High Talker.’ Jerry ends up cashing his Nana’s birthday checks upon Kramer’s insistence and they bounce, which causes Nana to go missing trying to find her bank. George is tired of getting the middle finger so he chases down a driver only to discover it was an arm in a cast stuck that way. Uncle Leo appears to give Jerry some money and forces his way on camera at a pledge drive.
My Rating: 7/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
95.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Lip Reader (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
George decides to use Jerry's girlfriend to spy on his friends by having her read their lips. Kramer claims he can also read lips and tries to prove it. (22 mins.)
“ S5E6
“When you control the mail, you control.. information!” is Newman’s fantastic line. The other good scene is while at dinner with Jerry’s new deaf girlfriend (Marlee Matlin), they try to communicate without showing their lips. Kramer tries out to be a ball “man” and George gets on TV after sloppily eating a sundae. The lip-reading scene at the end doesn’t feel like it comes together as well as it could have because a lot of the stuff George and Kramer do are nonsensical. This episode does have the scene where Gwen tries to break up with George using "It’s not you, it’s me" line.
My Rating: 6/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
96.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Label Maker (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
Tim Whatley gives Jerry a label maker as a thank you for his Super Bowl tickets. George is uncomfortable with his girlfriend's male roommate. Kramer and Newman play a game of Risk. (22 mins.)
“ S6E12
This episode brought us the concept of ‘re-gifting’ when Tim Whatley gives Jerry a label-maker that Elaine once got him. Elaine tries to catch Tim as a re-gifter and offers to ‘go up’ with Tim after a date, but then sends a mixed signal when she wants two beds on a trip to the Superbowl. I really enjoyed the story where George is going out with Bonnie who has a male roommate named Scott that looks eerily similar to George. Bonnie chooses George over Scott but Scott winds up taking all his furniture including a velvet couch. George trying the ‘Manage-a-trois’ trick that Jerry tried in the ‘The Switch’ backfires on him. A completely unbelievable storyline has Kramer and Newman playing Risk and transporting the board all over town.
My Rating: 6/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
97.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Dealership (1998)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.7/10 X  
Jerry looks to buy a new car from Elaine's boyfriend. George tries to find a snack. Kramer test drives a car. (22 mins.)
“ S9E11
The best scene is at the end when Jerry tries to broker the make-up of Elaine and Puddy like it’s a business deal. Puddy always doing the ‘high-five’ and not knowing what ‘undercoating’ means are pretty good gags. The whole plot with George being hungry and getting mad at the mechanic for eating the last donut/hanging-Twix-bar is a little too out there for me. The candy lineup was absurd even if it did set up the funny bit where George walks in and they are all eating his candy. Kramer and a salesman go for a test drive and try to push the needle as far as possible below E on the gas gauge.
My Rating: 6/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
98.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Friars Club (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.0/10 X  
Jerry has a hard time getting membership in the Friar's Club when the Flying Santos Brothers take his jacket during a show... (22 mins.)
“ S7E18
The Flying Sandos brothers plot point about them taking Jerry’s coat and throwing it into the crowd is so terrible that it makes me mad; it would just never ever happen and if the rest of the episode wasn't so good I'd have put it in the bottom 5. That aside, the episode does have a redeeming parts like Kramer attempting Da Vinci’s sleep pattern and falling asleep while making out with Connie. This gaffe gets him a funny trip to the Hudson River in a burlap sack. Another good story is Elaine suspecting that Rob Schneider is getting out of work by pretending to be deaf. Their date is a little uncomfortable until she tries on the earpiece just as the alarm goes off. The episode also starts off pretty good with George dancing in the street because his wedding was delayed.
My Rating: 6/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
99.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Wig Master (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Susan's friends are in town for the Broadway production of Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat... (22 mins.)
“ S7E19
A lot of this episode is a setup to get Kramer walking down the street in Joseph’s Techni-color Dreamcoat looking like a pimp, which is a pretty decent payoff. George and Kramer parking their car in a shady parking lot that doubles as a prostitution ring sets up a funny scene where Kramer finds a used condom in his car, and another good scene where Susan seemingly catches George paying a hooker. Elaine is led on by a dress salesman with the promise of a discount and Jerry tries to return a blazer out of spite. Jerry gets upset that the people he is with are getting hit on when he is standing right there. The episode ends with Elaine cutting off a ponytail for revenge.
My Rating: 6/10 ” - chucksinger3
 
100.
Seinfeld (1989 TV Series)
Episode: The Visa (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.3/10 X  
Jerry returns from a two week tour to find that his old friend Babu, who Jerry drove into bankruptcy... (22 mins.)
“ S4E15
The best part of this episode is Jerry trying not to act funny to help George look good, thus exposing Jerry's "dark and disturbed" side. The rest of the stories are ho-hum as Kramer punches Mickey Mantle off-screen at a baseball fantasy camp and Elaine works to get Ping’s lawsuit dropped against her. This is also the episode where Babu Bhatt gets deported because Elaine wasn’t checking Jerry’s mail, and Babu says his famous line, ‘Jerry is a very bad man.’
My Rating: 6/10 ” - chucksinger3