Paskaleffat Vol. 1

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1.
Commando (1985)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
A retired elite Black Ops Commando launches a one man war against a group of South American criminals who have kidnapped his daughter. (90 mins.)
Director: Mark L. Lester
“ NO NYT. TÄYDEN VIIDEN TÄHDEN ELOKUVA TÄLLÄ LISTALLA!? WUUUUUUUUUUUTT??? ” - Cocktus
 
2.
Street Fighter (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
Col. Guile and various other martial arts heroes fight against the tyranny of Dictator M. Bison and his cohorts. (102 mins.)
“ Kun Van Dammen nimi lausutaan, silmistäni lentää kilo ripulia. ” - Cocktus
 
3.
The Delta Force (1986)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
After a plane is hijacked by terrorists, The Delta Force are sent in to resolve the crisis. (125 mins.)
Director: Menahem Golan
“ Chuck Norris ei ole paska näyttelijä. Hän vain näyttelee huonoa näyttelijää ultimaattisen taitavasti. ” - Cocktus
 
4.
Lethal Weapon (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  
A veteran policeman, Murtaugh, is partnered with a younger, suicidal officer, Riggs. They both have one thing in common: hating working in pairs. Now they must learn to work with one another to stop a gang of drug smugglers. (110 mins.)
Director: Richard Donner
“ Hiuksia ja asennetta. Klassinen taistelupariasetelma. Räjähdyksiä. Tähän aikaan Gibson taisi olla vielä selvinpäin. Onneksi oppi sekin ryyppäämään. ” - Cocktus
 
5.
Batman: The Movie (1966)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
The Dynamic Duo faces four supervillains who plan to hold the world for ransom with the help of a secret invention that instantly dehydrates people. (105 mins.)
“ BAT-VITUN-MAN. Aidoissa kalsareissa. Tämä! ” - Cocktus
 
6.
Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
In Molokai, two undercover drug enforcement agents are after a vicious drug kingpin, but on the way, they will also have to deal with a contaminated giant python. (96 mins.)
Director: Andy Sidaris
“ Ron Moss. Singolla ammuttu pumpattava nukke. Jos tämä ei yhdistelmä ei toimi niin mitä helvettiä? ” - Cocktus
 
7.
They Live (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
A drifter discovers a pair of sunglasses that allow him to wake up to the fact that aliens have taken over the Earth. (94 mins.)
Director: John Carpenter
“ Ihan hirveätä. Siis todella hirveätä näyttelyä. ” - Cocktus
 
8.
Chillerama (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
It's the closing night at the last drive-in theater in America, and Cecil Kaufman has planned to show four movies, which are so rare that they have never been exhibited publicly on American soil, until this very night. (120 mins.)
“ Neljä paskaa tarinaa, yksi paska elokuva. ” - Cocktus
 
9.
Manborg (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
A soldier, brought back to life as a cyborg, fights alongside a band of adventurers against demon hordes in a dystopian future. (60 mins.)
“ Niin järjetön konsepti, että pakko olla viiden tähden leffa. Pieni budjetti varmasti vielä tehostaa tätä elämystä. ” - Cocktus
 
10.
No Holds Barred (1989)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
Rip is the World Wrestling Federation champion who is faithful to his fans and the network he wrestles for... (93 mins.)
“ "To all my little Hulkamaniacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you will never go wrong." -Hulk Hogan ” - Cocktus
 
11.
Ichi the Killer (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
As sadomasochistic yakuza enforcer Kakihara searches for his missing boss he comes across Ichi, a repressed and psychotic killer who may be able to inflict levels of pain that Kakihara has only dreamed of. (129 mins.)
Director: Takashi Miike
“ Splatter-elokuvien yksi klassikoista. Tarvineeko muuta sanoa. ” - Cocktus
 
12.
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
Zombified chickens attempt to kill the fast-food workers that cook them in a restaurant built on an ancient burial ground. (103 mins.)
Director: Lloyd Kaufman
“ Mistä on huono elokuva tehty? Ripulista, tappajakanoista, persereikään katkenneista sormista. Tää on oikeasti paskojen elokuvien aatelia. ” - Cocktus
 
13.
Bad Taste (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
The population of a small town disappears and is replaced by aliens that chase human flesh for their intergalactic fast-food chain. (91 mins.)
Director: Peter Jackson
“ Peter Jacksonin paskin leffa. ” - Cocktus
 
14.
Return of the Killer Tomatoes! (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
Crazy old Professor Gangreen has developed a way to make tomatoes look human for a second invasion. (98 mins.)
Director: John De Bello
“ Tomaatit toimii helvetin hyvin salsassa ja paskassa kauhuelokuvassa. ” - Cocktus
 
15.
Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  
When the son of a gun-wielding woman is murdered by neo-Nazi surf punks in the post-apocalyptic future... (83 mins.)
Director: Peter George
“ Elokuvan tittelikin jo luultavasti kertoo tämän elokuvan paskat juonenkäänteet. ” - Cocktus
 
16.
A Night at the Roxbury (1998)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
Two dim-witted brothers dream of owning their own dance club or at least getting into the coolest and most exclusive club in town, The Roxbury. (82 mins.)
“ Will Ferrell on paskojen elokuvien pelastaja. Se tekee niistä niin paskoja, että se pistää ajattelemaan. ” - Cocktus
 
17.
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
A young man with superhuman strength is incarcerated at a prison run by corrupt officials and seeks to use his martial arts to clean up the system. (91 mins.)
Director: Simon Nam
“ Loistavia ihmisräjähdyksiä! ” - Cocktus
 
18.
The Nutty Professor (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Grossly overweight yet good-hearted professor Sherman Klump takes a special chemical that turns him into the slim but obnoxious Buddy Love. (95 mins.)
Director: Tom Shadyac
“ Eddie Murphy on kyllä huono, todella huono. Ja läski. ” - Cocktus
 
19.
Adam Chaplin (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Desperate Adam is in need of answers about his wife's unresolved murder, so blinded with a vengeful lust, he will make a pact with a malevolent nameless demon to quench his desire for revenge. (84 mins.)
“ En jaksa edes kommentoida. ” - Cocktus
 
20.
Terror Firmer (1999)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A homicidal maniac is on the loose in the city and the low-budget film crew of a Troma movie have the power to stop them. (124 mins.)
Director: Lloyd Kaufman
“ Troma Filmsien yksi kulmakivistä. Oikeasti ihan loistavaa paskaviihdettä kaikessa korniudessaan. ” - Cocktus
 
21.
The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
A washed-up luchador and a super-spy investigate Nazi zombies, a nefarious scientist, and a stripper with a Satanic birthmark. (77 mins.)
Director: Rob Zombie
“ Luultavasti ehkä hieman huono elokuva. ” - Cocktus
 
22.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
Aliens who look like clowns come from outer space and terrorize a small town. (88 mins.)
Director: Stephen Chiodo
“ Tämä on listalla koska elokuvan nimi. ” - Cocktus
 
23.
Nekromantik (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
A street sweeper who cleans up after grisly accidents brings home a full corpse for him and his wife to enjoy sexually, but is dismayed to see that his wife prefers the corpse over him. (75 mins.)
“ Ruumiin rakastelu on herkkää touhua. Jos ei ole tarkkana niin siitä hommasta saattaa jäädä pelkkä luu käteen. ” - Cocktus
 
24.
The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  
Incompetent police detective Frank Drebin must foil an attempt to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II. (85 mins.)
Director: David Zucker
“ Frank Drebin. Tarvitseeko oikeasti muuta sanoa, häh? ” - Cocktus
 
25.
Private Parts (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
The autobiographical story of Howard Stern, the radio rebel who is now also a TV personality, an author and a movie star. (109 mins.)
Director: Betty Thomas
“ Tisei ja pilui! ” - Cocktus
 
26.
Meet the Feebles (1989)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
Multiple animals and insects experience the sleazier side of show business while working on a variety show. (97 mins.)
Director: Peter Jackson
“ Karvaisia olentoja ja tajuttoman huonoa huumoria. Ihan paska. ” - Cocktus
 
27.
Ernest Goes to Jail (1990)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
Bumbling Ernest P. Worrell is assigned to jury duty, where a crooked lawyer notices a resemblance with crime boss Mr... (81 mins.)
Director: John Cherry
“ Klassikko. Tämä on klassikko. ” - Cocktus
 
28.
License to Drive (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A teen decides to go for a night on the town with his friends despite flunking his driver's test. (88 mins.)
Director: Greg Beeman
“ Niin yrjöttävä levyn kansi, että pakko ottaa mukaan äänestykseen. ” - Cocktus
 
29.
Jingle All the Way (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
A father vows to get his son a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas, however, every store is sold out of them, and he must travel all over town and compete with everybody else in order to find one. (89 mins.)
Director: Brian Levant
“ Keskellä kesää joululeffa? Toimii! ” - Cocktus
 
30.
Mannequin (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
A young artist, searching for his vocation, makes a mannequin so perfect he falls in love with it. Finding the mannequin in a store window, he gets a job there and his creation comes to life. (90 mins.)
“ Romanttinen komedia toimii aina äijäporukalla. ” - Cocktus