2013 Reviews

Reviews of the Best to Worst films I saw from 2013.
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1.
Gravity (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
A medical engineer and an astronaut work together to survive after an accident leaves them adrift in space. (91 mins.)
Director: Alfonso Cuarón
“ Whoa! What a visually splendid, exhilarating ride!
The part where the ISS was getting torn to shreads in silence was so frightening. Also, the part where she might drown.
It was like I was Ryan.
I like how it just gets straight into it and how there's so much space movement involved, like where she throws away the fire extinguisher just to give her that little, vital boost towards the Chinese station.

My score: 88/100 ” - freecake
 
2.
Frozen (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  
When the newly crowned Queen Elsa accidentally uses her power to turn things into ice to curse her home in infinite winter, her sister, Anna, teams up with a mountain man, his playful reindeer, and a snowman to change the weather condition. (102 mins.)
“ Super fun happy time!
Was the story weak? can't tell. Emotions in the way.
Olaf wasn't annoying in the context of the movie, he was actually quite funny.
Let It Go was the best part.

My score: 82/100 ” - freecake
 
3.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  
Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark become targets of the Capitol after their victory in the 74th Hunger Games sparks a rebellion in the Districts of Panem. (146 mins.)
“ Horrible dystopian nightmare.
I thought I hated the Capitol in the previous film.
Can't wait for the revolution.

My score: 79/100 ” - freecake
 
4.
Lone Survivor (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  
Marcus Luttrell and his team set out on a mission to capture or kill notorious Taliban leader Ahmad Shah, in late June 2005. Marcus and his team are left to fight for their lives in one of the most valiant efforts of modern warfare. (121 mins.)
Director: Peter Berg
“ Not good at the beginning.
As soon as they're compromised, it's all good.

My score: 78/100 ” - freecake
 
5.
Blue Jasmine (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
A New York socialite, deeply troubled and in denial, arrives in San Francisco to impose upon her sister. She looks a million, but isn't bringing money, peace, or love... (98 mins.)
Director: Woody Allen
“ Never a dull moment.
I thought there'd be an arc, but there was none.
Now what becomes of Jasmine?

My score: 76/100 ” - freecake
 
6.
Oblivion (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
A veteran assigned to extract Earth's remaining resources begins to question what he knows about his mission and himself. (124 mins.)
Director: Joseph Kosinski
“ Finally, a proper sci-fi movie. It's been a while.
Don't think I missed the homage to 2001: A Space Odyssey.
I'd have liked more giant, evil, space tetrahedron, but it had to die quickly.
Oblivion is like Moon meets Independence Day.

My score: 75/100 ” - freecake
 
7.
Pacific Rim (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
As a war between humankind and monstrous sea creatures wages on, a former pilot and a trainee are paired up to drive a seemingly obsolete special weapon in a desperate effort to save the world from the apocalypse. (131 mins.)
“ Throws you right into the world and gives you such a great second act with the slow-massive fighting in colour town.
Characters were stereotypes.

My score: 75/100 ” - freecake
 
8.
Paranoia (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
An entry-level employee at a powerful corporation finds himself occupying a corner office, but at a dangerous price: he must spy on his boss's old mentor to secure for him a multi-billion dollar advantage. (106 mins.)
Director: Robert Luketic
“ Paranoia? Hardly.
I like the music. Seemed right out of my Magic, Duels of the Planeswalkers game.
Shame the ending was so fast and easy.

My score: 75/100 ” - freecake
 
9.
We're the Millers (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
A veteran pot dealer creates a fake family as part of his plan to move a huge shipment of weed into the U.S. from Mexico. (110 mins.)
“ Much more fun than you'd expect.
The script may have been not so great, but the actors really made it.

My score: 75/100 ” - freecake
 
10.
Her (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.0/10 X  
A lonely writer develops an unlikely relationship with his newly purchased operating system that's designed to meet his every need. (126 mins.)
Director: Spike Jonze
“ All human interactions seemed real, even the little girl part, even though she looked at the crew once.
Future world was so believable and well done.
The OSs all evolved way beyond their function and ascended the slow, physical reality of humans. That was really cool.
There should be a sequel which explores this. More sci-fi, and maybe action too?
Her 2: Armageddon

My score: 74/100 ” - freecake
 
11.
The Family (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
The Manzoni family, a notorious mafia clan, is relocated to Normandy, France under the witness protection program, where fitting in soon becomes challenging as their old habits die hard. (111 mins.)
Director: Luc Besson
“ Fun and scary.

My score: 73/100 ” - freecake
 
12.
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
When his job along with that of his co-worker are threatened, Walter takes action in the real world embarking on a global journey that turns into an adventure more extraordinary than anything he could have ever imagined. (114 mins.)
Director: Ben Stiller
“ Dat photo.
Made me happy and want adventures.

My score: 73/100 ” - freecake
 
13.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.9/10 X  
The dwarves, along with Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey, continue their quest to reclaim Erebor, their homeland, from Smaug. Bilbo Baggins is in possession of a mysterious and magical ring. (161 mins.)
Director: Peter Jackson
“ Smaug's reveal is made lesser by the scene before where freakin' Sauron is revealed.

This film is too long.

My score: 72/100 ” - freecake
 
14.
Captain Phillips (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.9/10 X  
The true story of Captain Richard Phillips and the 2009 hijacking by Somali pirates of the US-flagged MV Maersk Alabama, the first American cargo ship to be hijacked in two hundred years. (134 mins.)
Director: Paul Greengrass
“ Just a little bit too much of that part where he was blubbering in the medical room. Should have been 10 seconds shorter.

My score: 72/100 ” - freecake
 
15.
Man of Steel (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
Clark Kent, one of the last of an extinguished race disguised as an unremarkable human, is forced to reveal his identity when Earth is invaded by an army of survivors who threaten to bring the planet to the brink of destruction. (143 mins.)
Director: Zack Snyder
“ Only problem is that Superman didn't seem to care about all the lives he was ruining by fighting near/around/inside people's homes and businesses.

Also, having no morality does not give you an evolutionary advantage, hot chick, quite the opposite.

My score: 71/100 ” - freecake
 
16.
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
After the crew of the Enterprise find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one-man weapon of mass destruction. (132 mins.)
Director: J.J. Abrams
“ I don't know why people say it hasn't got the fun character interaction. It's still floating around.
Favorite part was where Khan explained to the Enterprise that he would blow holes in their hull, so the air would escape, killing them, but leaving his freeze pops alive, then walk over their cold corpses.

My score: 70/100 ” - freecake
 
17.
About Time (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
At the age of 21, Tim discovers he can travel in time and change what happens and has happened in his own life. His decision to make his world a better place by getting a girlfriend turns out not to be as easy as you might think. (123 mins.)
Director: Richard Curtis
“ Like The Butterfly Effect, but more realistic and sweet and less messed up.
Although, not as good as The Butterfly Effect of course.
It's about his family more than Rachel.

My score: 70/100 ” - freecake
 
18.
Now You See Me (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
An FBI agent and an Interpol detective track a team of illusionists who pull off bank heists during their performances and reward their audiences with the money. (115 mins.)
Director: Louis Leterrier
“ Wow! so fun!
When Morgan Freeman goes to jail, it falls apart.
Didn't know where to go from there, so let's have a poor, cheap plot-twist or something.

My score: 69/100 ” - freecake
 
19.
The English Teacher (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
An English teacher's life is disrupted when a former student returns to her small town after failing as a playwright in New York. (93 mins.)
Director: Craig Zisk
“ Seems like it's going to be a formulaic one with the external forces trying to prevent them putting on the super excellent, but somewhat controversial play; but it was totally a curveball.
The ending could be spotted a mile away. I guess they knew this, so they compensated with the narrator turning against her.
Is the moral of the story, that everyone can be a *beep* person? Even the narrator?

My score: 69/100 ” - freecake
 
20.
Saving Mr. Banks (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.5/10 X  
Author P.L. Travers reflects on her childhood after reluctantly meeting with Walt Disney, who seeks to adapt her Mary Poppins books for the big screen. (125 mins.)
“ Made me want to learn more about Walt Disney.

My score: 68/100 ” - freecake
 
21.
Machete Kills (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
The U.S. government recruits Machete to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer who looks to launch a weapon into space. (107 mins.)
“ Starring Lady Gaga as.. whoever she wants to be.
Machete Kills it.

My score: 68/100 ” - freecake
 
22.
This Is the End (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
While attending a party at James Franco's house, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel and many other celebrities are faced with the apocalypse. (107 mins.)
“ Best part = getting tractor beamed into Heaven: "Yaaay!"

My score: 68/100 ” - freecake
 
23.
Pain & Gain (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A trio of bodybuilders in Florida get caught up in an extortion ring and a kidnapping scheme that goes terribly wrong. (129 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
“ Like all the mad moments of the Transformers movies, jacked up.
The frantic comedy is to my liking.

My score: 67/100 ” - freecake
 
24.
White House Down (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
While on a tour of the White House with his young daughter, a Capitol policeman springs into action to save his child and protect the president from a heavily armed group of paramilitary invaders. (131 mins.)
Director: Roland Emmerich
“ Not stupid, but has occasional cheeze. As much cheeze as good moments.
Though, the president would never be allowed to cease warring as he works for the companies that get rich from war.
I like how stupid the media was portrayed.

My score: 67/100 ” - freecake
 
25.
Before Midnight (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.9/10 X  
We meet Jesse and Celine nine years on in Greece. Almost two decades have passed since their first meeting on that train bound for Vienna. (109 mins.)
“ My score: 66/100 ” - freecake
 
26.
Ender's Game (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
Young Ender Wiggin is recruited by the International Military to lead the fight against the Formics, a genocidal alien race which nearly annihilated the human race in a previous invasion. (114 mins.)
Director: Gavin Hood
“ Sloppy excuse for an adaptation.

1. The Formics only invaded once? and then we went to destroy them all? No. In the book, they're invaded twice, and the second time, we were nearly wiped out. Thus, it is paramount that we destroy them before they destroy us, as that's what they're clearly trying to do. Us or them. By having them invade, just the once, you make the genocide akin to reactionary bullying.

2. There are no motherships. It's an incomprehensible swarm. The Queen was inside one of the many small ships. If there were motherships knocking about, they'd be targeted for attack.

3. Ender doesn't ferociously destroy Bonzo in the bathroom and accidentally kill him. Having Ender kick Bonzo away and Bonzo knocking his head on a slab, ruins the awesomeness, but more important: The mad crisis he has about being in the starfleet and having to return to Earth is reduced to something kinda pathetic.

4. Ender's intelligence isn't done right. In the books, he's a force of genius at everything and ascends the adults. His brother and sister are so smart, that they take over the world while he's gone. Ender is just made into a very good tactician. Boo!

5. Ender doesn't just jump into some rocks and find a Formic. It take him years of searching the galaxy.

6. Minimal information is given about the formics. You learn so much about them in the book. They way they think is so alien, that they didn't realize invading and killing millions of people was bad. None of this is great stuff is explained!

7. What? They drove them off a planet? How? Why didn't the others know about this? Maybe if you'd done it like the book, all this would make sense. Dumbasses.

8. They're not teenagers. They're five year old children. The reasons behind this are awesome. Barely a scratch at the surface of this is attempted in the film.

If you have an awesome story, why not tell it? Why make something extremely similar, but not go for it?

My score: 66/100 ” - freecake
 
27.
Epic (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
A teenager finds herself transported to a deep forest setting where a battle between the forces of good and the forces of evil is taking place. She bands together with a rag-tag group of characters in order to save their world -- and ours. (102 mins.)
Director: Chris Wedge
“ At first, I didn't like it. This seems like Fern Gully with more cliches.
Very quickly though, it got pretty good.
What were the Grubbos/Moldos motivations? it never explained why they were so nasty and wanted everything to decay.
Snails were surprisingly funny and not embarrassing.

My score: 66/100 ” - freecake
 
28.
Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
Hobbs has Dominic and Brian reassemble their crew to take down a team of mercenaries: Dominic unexpectedly gets convoluted also facing his presumed deceased girlfriend, Letty. (130 mins.)
Director: Justin Lin
“ Fighting/action was good.
I liked the family dimension.
Best part was when Gal Gadot fell to her death, shooting some bad guys that were going to kill her and her fionce.
This bothered me in the good way.
Worst part was Don, precisely shooting through the air, catching Leddy, somehow keeping his momentum and landing softly on a soft car.
This bothered me in the bad way.

My score: 66/100 ” - freecake
 
29.
Kick-Ass 2 (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
Following Kick-Ass' heroics, other citizens are inspired to become masked crusaders. But the Red Mist leads his own group of evil supervillains to kill Kick-Ass and destroy everything for which he stands. (103 mins.)
Director: Jeff Wadlow
“ The comic was horrifically good.
This was just plain old pretty good.

My score: 66/100 ” - freecake
 
30.
American Hustle (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
A con man, Irving Rosenfeld, along with his seductive partner Sydney Prosser, is forced to work for a wild FBI agent, Richie DiMaso, who pushes them into a world of Jersey powerbrokers and mafia. (138 mins.)
“ Ice fishing story.
Ice fishing story.
Ice fishing story.

My score: 65/100 ” - freecake
 
31.
Carrie (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
A reimagining of the classic horror tale about Carrie White, a shy girl outcast by her peers and sheltered by her deeply religious mother, who unleashes telekinetic terror on her small town after being pushed too far at her senior prom. (100 mins.)
Director: Kimberly Peirce
“ Ruined itself by having Carrie argue with her mother that Christianity is actually good. Feels like the film cut one of its own balls off to pander to people who would think it's saying Christianity is warping and bad.
Her mum's religiousness was toned down and self-harm scenes were added to make her seem like more of a nutcase with a religion, than a religious nutcase.

The pig blood fell onto her three or four times from different angles. This took me out of the movie the most. Ironically to what the film makers obviously wanted to achieve, they made it the worst part of the movie.

It was superior to the original only in the period scene, the believability of the horrible girl and in the climactic bloodbath, but inferior in all else.

My score: 65/100 ” - freecake
 
32.
Elysium (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
In the year 2154, the very wealthy live on a man-made space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth. A man takes on a mission that could bring equality to the polarized worlds. (109 mins.)
Director: Neill Blomkamp
“ My score: 65/100 ” - freecake
 
33.
Europa Report (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
An international crew of astronauts undertakes a privately funded mission to search for life on Jupiter's fourth largest moon. (90 mins.)
“ Europan landscape is beautiful.
Why does alien life have to be a killer monster?
Why can't it be something like a cute, snuffly hedgehog?

My score: 65/100 ” - freecake
 
34.
The Big Wedding (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
A long-divorced couple fakes being married as their family unites for a wedding. (89 mins.)
Director: Justin Zackham
“ Pretty funny with the screwy family.
Acorn as a present was so very good a present.

My score: 65/100 ” - freecake
 
35.
The Way Way Back (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  
Shy 14-year-old Duncan goes on summer vacation with his mother, her overbearing boyfriend, and her boyfriend's daughter. Having a rough time fitting in, Duncan finds an unexpected friend in Owen, manager of the Water Wizz water park. (103 mins.)
Director: Nat Faxon, Jim Rash
“ My score: 65/100 ” - freecake
 
36.
Iron Man 3 (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
When Tony Stark's world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution. (130 mins.)
Director: Shane Black
“ Not sure why it wasn't as good as it looked.

My score: 64/100 ” - freecake
 
37.
Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (2013 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.1/10 X  
The Flash finds himself in a war torn alternate timeline and teams up with alternate versions of his fellow heroes to return home and restore the timeline. (75 mins.)
Director: Jay Oliva
“ Good war with characters dying and bloody stabs!
Why was Aquaman so strong? Wonder Woman should be able to beat him one on one on the land.

My score: 64/100 ” - freecake
 
38.
Snowpiercer (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
Set in a future where a failed climate-change experiment kills all life on the planet except for a lucky few who boarded the Snowpiercer, a train that travels around the globe, where a class system emerges. (126 mins.)
Director: Bong Joon Ho
“ Started off good with the shoe being size ten chaos, but I found myself getting bored in the climactic third act.

My score: 64/100 ” - freecake
 
39.
The World's End (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
Five friends who reunite in an attempt to top their epic pub crawl from twenty years earlier unwittingly become humanity's only hope for survival. (109 mins.)
Director: Edgar Wright
“ My score: 63/00 ” - freecake
 
40.
Oldboy (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
Obsessed with vengeance, a man sets out to find out why he was kidnapped and locked into solitary confinement for twenty years without reason. (104 mins.)
Director: Spike Lee
“ Maybe too obvious that Olson was his daughter.
That's one messed up baddy.
Fight scenes were pretty darn good.

My score: 63/100 ” - freecake
 
41.
Warm Bodies (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.9/10 X  
After a highly unusual zombie saves a still-living girl from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion events that might transform the entire lifeless world. (98 mins.)
Director: Jonathan Levine
“ Fun idea. Formula was there, but it wasn't all up in your face so much.

My score: 63/100 ” - freecake
 
42.
Evil Dead (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods. (91 mins.)
Director: Fede Alvarez
“ A little awkward at first, but gets nice and gruesome quick enough.
Didn't like the two quick shots that were there to explain to me what something was. I'm not stupid. I know the burned beam was where they burned the demon girl before. I know that the person coming out the ground when it rains blood is The Abomination. You don't need a flashback of the burning demon girl or a close up of the page in the skin book of Abomination coming out the ground thank you.
Also, The Abomination was weak. An injured girl escaped from and killed it. Who was it anyway?

My score: 62/100 ” - freecake
 
43.
Monsters University (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
A look at the relationship between Mike and Sulley during their days at Monsters University -- when they weren't necessarily the best of friends. (104 mins.)
Director: Dan Scanlon
“ Poor Pixar.
Did Disney make you do this?

My score: 62/100 ” - freecake
 
44.
RED 2 (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
Retired C.I.A. agent Frank Moses reunites his unlikely team of elite operatives for a global quest to track down a missing portable nuclear device. (116 mins.)
Director: Dean Parisot
“ Not much red, though I did enjoy the red mercury.
Best bit was Helen Miran shooting everyone to Linkin Park.

My score: 62/100 ” - freecake
 
45.
Riddick (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
Left for dead on a sun-scorched planet, Riddick finds himself up against an alien race of predators. Activating an emergency beacon alerts two ships: one carrying a new breed of mercenary, the other captained by a man from Riddick's past. (119 mins.)
Director: David Twohy
“ Quite fun.
I like how he didn't necessarily end up on the Pitch Black planet. Just one that was like it and it was a rainstorm that brought about water dwelling Xenomorph Scorpions instead of night-time bringing flying cross-faced death beasts.
But there's no way kicking a blade could cut a nasty man's head in half.

My score: 62/100 ” - freecake
 
46.
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
When her mother disappears, Clary Fray learns that she descends from a line of warriors who protect our world from demons. She joins forces with others like her and heads into a dangerous alternate New York called the Shadow World. (130 mins.)
Director: Harald Zwart
“ The city of bones was just one scene where they tried to unlock her momories and didn't.
Never explained what the baddy was up to. Experimenting with demons to make stronger breeds of warrior? Why not?

My score: 62/100 ” - freecake
 
47.
Despicable Me 2 (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.5/10 X  
When Gru, the world's most super-bad turned super-dad has been recruited by a team of officials to stop lethal muscle and a host of Gru's own, He has to fight back with new gadgetry, cars, and more minion madness. (98 mins.)
“ Could have been better.
Big Mexican was never threatening.
Lucy Wilde was always obviously going to be who Gru gets with.
Why don't the girls grow up??

My score: 61/100 ” - freecake
 
48.
Hours (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A father struggles to keep his infant daughter alive in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. (97 mins.)
Director: Eric Heisserer
“ Stupid paramedics not checking the room he was half in.
I wanted to see the aftermath!

My score: 61/100 ” - freecake
 
49.
Repentance (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  
A successful author and spiritual advisor takes on a troubled man as a client, completely unaware that the man's fixation on his mother's death will soon put his life in jeopardy. (90 mins.)
Director: Philippe Caland
“ Scary when he got kidnapped and tortured.
I've seen bad endings before and usually like them. I did not like this ending at all. It ruined the movie.

My score: 61/100 ” - freecake
 
50.
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
A small-time magician is swept away to an enchanted land and is forced into a power struggle between three witches. (130 mins.)
Director: Sam Raimi
“ Hated how everything in Oz was CGI.
Would have been really impressive if they'd used practical effects.
It looked like a computer game.

My score: 60/100 ” - freecake
 
51.
V/H/S/2 (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
Searching for a missing student, two private investigators break into his house and find collection of VHS tapes. Viewing the horrific contents of each cassette, they realize there may be dark motives behind the student's disappearance. (96 mins.)
“ Started off with more fun that the original, but ended so badly with the rubbish alien abduction and tape watcher story.

My score: 60/100 ” - freecake
 
52.
Filth (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
A corrupt, junkie cop with Borderline Personality Disorder attempts to manipulate his way through a promotion in order to win back his wife and daughter while also fighting his own borderline-fueled inner demons. (97 mins.)
Director: Jon S. Baird
“ My score: 59/100 ” - freecake
 
53.
Prince Avalanche (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
Two highway road workers spend the summer of 1988 away from their city lives. The isolated landscape becomes a place of misadventure as the men find themselves at odds with each other and the women they left behind. (94 mins.)
“ Simple stuff done well.
Really wanted to see what happens at the pageant.

My score: 59/100 ” - freecake
 
54.
Raze (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
Raze, a horror/action film, focuses on two abducted women & 50 other women who are forced to fight each other using their bare hands. (87 mins.)
Director: Josh C. Waller
“ Ham-fisted, but still enjoyable.
Hated Sabrina's man face. The whole time I kept thinking: she's the producer: the producer put herself in the main role.
It's not good when I can predict what's going to happen. Although, Sabrina's fight with Evil Girl was refreshing.
She should have shot all those people enjoying themselves.

My score: 58/100 ” - freecake
 
55.
Thor: The Dark World (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
When Dr. Jane Foster gets cursed with a powerful entity known as the Aether, Thor is heralded of the cosmic event known as the Convergence and the genocidal Dark Elves. (112 mins.)
Director: Alan Taylor
“ How exactly were there Elves before the universe?
Why exactly do Elves want to destroy the universe?
Why was Thor the only one capable of walking through the blood storm?
Physics will go haywire! Thor's hammer comes. I need my pants!

My score: 58/100 ” - freecake
 
56.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
With the '70s behind him, San Diego's top-rated newsman, Ron Burgundy, returns to take New York's first 24-hour news channel by storm. (119 mins.)
Director: Adam McKay
“ Funny here and there.

My score: 57/100 ” - freecake
 
57.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
Flint Lockwood now works at The Live Corp Company for his idol Chester V. But he's forced to leave his post when he learns that his most infamous machine is still operational and is churning out menacing food-animal hybrids. (95 mins.)
“ Visually, it was a feast, but the story was stale and the funnies were either mild or tasteless.
With a difference of 37 points, that makes Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2, the worst sequel I've ever seen.

My score: 57/100 ” - freecake
 
58.
The Railway Man (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
A former British Army officer, who was tormented as a prisoner of war at a Japanese labor camp during World War II, discovers that the man responsible for much of his treatment is still alive and sets out to confront him. (116 mins.)
“ Slow and not very engaging at times.
Torture scenes are pretty gruesome.
His confusion after finding the torturer was good.

My score: 57/100 ” - freecake
 
59.
Jobs (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
The story of Steve Jobs' ascension from college dropout into one of the most revered creative entrepreneurs of the 20th century. (128 mins.)
“ Could have been so much better if it had explained just what the hell they were doing with computers and if they showed Steve's comeback.

My score: 56/100 ” - freecake
 
60.
He's Way More Famous Than You (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  
When an aspiring actress loses her support system in one fell swoop, she sets out with a stolen script, her brother, and his boyfriend to make a movie. (96 mins.)
Director: Michael Urie
“ Neurotic, self-obsessed, drunk main character lady was fun.
That part where she sensually explains to the agent lady how she appreciates her robbing Ben Stiller was the craziest and best part.

My score: 55/100 ” - freecake
 
61.
The Heat (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
An uptight FBI Special Agent is paired with a foul-mouthed Boston cop to take down a ruthless drug lord. (117 mins.)
Director: Paul Feig
“ Not as bad as I thought it would be.

My score: 55/100 ” - freecake
 
62.
The Croods (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
After their cave is destroyed, a caveman family must trek through an unfamiliar fantastical world with the help of an inventive boy. (98 mins.)
“ Relatively weak story didn't bother me as it seemed to focused on fun stuff happening. Turns out the Nick Cage dad and strangely attractive daughter love each other very much and are so sorry for fighting that they take up the entire third act with their mounds of mandatory mush. Yuck!

My score: 54/100 ” - freecake
 
63.
Horns (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
In the aftermath of his girlfriend's mysterious death, a young man awakens to find strange horns sprouting from his temples. (120 mins.)
Director: Alexandre Aja
“ Kinda cool, but you're not missing anything.

My score: 53/100 ” - freecake
 
64.
Killing Season (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
Two veterans of the Bosnian War - one American, one Serbian - find their unlikely friendship tested when one of them reveals their true intentions. (91 mins.)
“ Never could get over Travola's accent. It was like he could never open his mouth. No wonder DeNero put an arrow in it.

My score: 53/100 ” - freecake
 
65.
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
A chronicle of Nelson Mandela's life journey from his childhood in a rural village through to his inauguration as the first democratically elected president of South Africa. (141 mins.)
Director: Justin Chadwick
“ The apartheid wasn't conveyed so well.
The injustices weren't conveyed so well, either.
I liked it when he said things.

My score: 53/100 ” - freecake
 
66.
R.I.P.D. (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
A recently slain cop joins a team of undead police officers working for the Rest in Peace Department and tries to find the man who murdered him. (96 mins.)
“ Crap characters and dialogue.
Mildly enjoyable action.
Kevin Bacon Deado was disappointing.
Some shots were really nice.
Can't help the heavy feeling that it stole concepts from Dead Like Me and Men In Black.

My score: 53/100 ” - freecake
 
67.
47 Ronin (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A band of samurai set out to avenge the death and dishonor of their master at the hands of a ruthless shogun. (128 mins.)
Director: Carl Rinsch
“ Needed less cliches and more monsters.
Keanu Reeves doesn't look half Japanese.

My score: 53/100 ” - freecake
 
68.
Walking with Dinosaurs 3D (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
See and feel what it was like when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, in a story where an underdog dino triumphs to become a hero for the ages. (87 mins.)
“ Dumb voices and tired storyline.
But I do love dinosaurs and Alex the bird was funny.
Pachyrhinosaurs kept being chomped in the neck and not dying.
Gorgosaurs kept being charged into and not dying.
Not even ten predators trying to tear a corpse apart could make any blood.

My score: 52/100 ” - freecake
 
69.
The Hangover Part III (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
When one of their own is kidnapped by an angry gangster, the Wolf Pack must track down Mr. Chow, who has escaped from prison and is on the lam. (100 mins.)
Director: Todd Phillips
“ 5% as funny as the original.

My score: 51/100 ” - freecake
 
70.
Hell Baby (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  
An expectant couple who moves into the most haunted house in New Orleans call upon the services of the Vatican's elite exorcism team to save them from a demonic baby. (98 mins.)
“ It gets some chuckles.
It even got a burst out laugh with the way he swears when the boxes were all stacked.

Hell Baby is reserved only for a five minute scene in the third act where the characters throw a doll around to each other.

My score: 50/100 ” - freecake
 
71.
World War Z (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
Former United Nations employee Gerry Lane traverses the world in a race against time to stop the Zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments, and threatening to destroy humanity itself. (116 mins.)
Director: Marc Forster
“ Beginning was great.
Zombie pile ups were great.
Brad Pit was dull as dustpans.
Story was by the numbers and not unlike Brad Pitt.
Other characters were Brad Pitt.
Most of the movie, actually, was Brad Pitt.

My score: 48/100 ” - freecake
 
72.
Turbo (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A freak accident might just help an everyday garden snail achieve his biggest dream: winning the Indy 500. (96 mins.)
Director: David Soren
“ Zero effort for story. NONE.
Snails don't care at all that one of them gains super powers.
Humans don't care at all that a snail is racing, only that it's fast.
Ryan Renalds doesn't fit as a snail.
The baddy tries to murder Turbo in frount of the world and there are no consequences.

My score: 47/100 ” - freecake
 
73.
The Counselor (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
A lawyer finds himself in over his head when he gets involved in drug trafficking. (117 mins.)
Director: Ridley Scott
“ Film did a super job of showing you how much Fassbender loves his wife and how scared he got when the bad people were coming.
Brad Pitt was good.
I like my films to have endings.

My score: 46/100 ” - freecake
 
74.
The Lone Ranger (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
Native American warrior Tonto recounts the untold tales that transformed John Reid, a man of the law, into a legend of justice. (150 mins.)
Director: Gore Verbinski
“ Not really a lone ranger with Johnny Depp always helping.
When all those hundreds of Native Americans were mown down with the Gatling Gun, I just couldn't care any more about the plot or characters.
That was never resolved or even explained.

My score: 46/100 ” - freecake
 
75.
The Purge (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
In the future, a wealthy family is held hostage for harboring the target of a murderous syndicate during the Purge, a 12-hour period in which any and all crime is legalized. (85 mins.)
Director: James DeMonaco
“ Decent concept with fairly good bits here and there, but no substance to keep it together.
I kept urging Mum to step it up and defend her family, but she just kept failing and crying. Why cast Lena Headey if she's not gonna be a badass?
Blond Baddy was ended way too easily and quickly for all he was built up.
Three Rich Kids verses Dad was the best bit.

My score: 46/100 ” - freecake
 
76.
Dealin' with Idiots (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
Faced with the absurd competitiveness surrounding his son's youth league baseball team, Max Morris, a famous comedian... (88 mins.)
Director: Jeff Garlin
“ The build up was okay, but the pay off was weak.

My score: 45/100 ” - freecake
 
77.
My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
Via a magic mirror, Twilight Sparkle travels into an alternate universe in order to recover a crown that was stolen from the Crystal Empire. Upon her arrival she is horrified to learn that she has turned into a human. (72 mins.)
“ Lets just say that it didn't make a Brony out of me.

My score: 45/100 ” - freecake
 
78.
The Wolverine (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
When Wolverine is summoned to Japan by an old acquaintance, he is embroiled in a conflict that forces him to confront his own demons. (126 mins.)
Director: James Mangold
“ Without the fun, you see the dumb.
Doesn't deserve the right to break adamantium.

My score: 45/100 ” - freecake
 
79.
Planes (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
A cropdusting plane with a fear of heights lives his dream of competing in a famous around-the-world aerial race. (91 mins.)
Director: Klay Hall
“ Garbage?
Dead Horse story.
No explanation as to how Dusty could do it.
Instead of creating characters, they just used stereotypes.
Third act was alright.

My score: 44/100 ” - freecake
 
80.
Escape from Tomorrow (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
In a world of fake castles and anthropomorphic rodents, an epic battle begins when an unemployed father's sanity is challenged by a chance encounter with two underage girls on holiday. (90 mins.)
Director: Randy Moore
“ Not very interesting nonsense happens to Dad in his unhappy marriage.

My score: 43/100 ” - freecake
 
81.
After Earth (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
A crash landing leaves Kitai Raige and his father Cypher stranded on Earth, a millennium after events forced humanity's escape. With Cypher injured, Kitai must embark on a perilous journey to signal for help. (100 mins.)
“ After birth?
M. Night Charlatan tries to make it like Lady In The Water, Unbreakable or I See Dead People and it doesn't work.
Beginning is bad.
Jaden Smith can ghost for no reason.
I like the massive confused bird - it died for Jaden's acting sins.

My score: 40/100 ” - freecake
 
82.
12 Years a Slave (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.1/10 X  
In the antebellum United States, Solomon Northup, a free black man from upstate New York, is abducted and sold into slavery. (134 mins.)
Director: Steve McQueen
“ Just didn't make me care very much.
I especially liked the part with the close up of his face for three minutes, where he looks to the right and then a bit later, to the left, and finally, awkwardly at me for a good thirty seconds.
Shame, because it was packed with actors I like.
Yawn.

My score: 38/100 ” - freecake