The worst movies I ever saw in a movie theater
I actually paid money to see this crap! Granted - some of these I walked out of during the screening. I should have walked out of ALL OF THEM.
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- DirectorBarry LevinsonStarsRobin WilliamsMichael GambonJoan CusackWhen Lieutenant General Leland Zevo (Sir Michael Gambon) inherits a toymaking company and begins making war toys, his employees band together to stop him before he ruins the name of Zevo Toys forever.This film is an exercise of what happens when every decision you choose to make a movie is 100% wrong. Please explain to me how garbage like this gets made. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVE! It totally stinks.
- DirectorRidley ScottStarsNoomi RapaceLogan Marshall-GreenMichael FassbenderFollowing clues to the origin of mankind, a team finds a structure on a distant moon, but they soon realize they are not alone.I walked out of this movie 45 minutes in, because I just didn't care anymore. I would say that this is the worst movie that I ever saw, but I have yet to watch the entire movie.
- DirectorGeoff MurphyStarsSteven SeagalEric BogosianEverett McGillCasey Ryback hops on a Colorado to LA train to start a vacation with his niece. Early into the trip, terrorists board the train and use it as a mobile HQ to hijack a top secret destructive US satellite.This movie is so horribly bad, it could almost be a comedy. Laugh out loud stupidity.
- DirectorSpike LeeStarsTheresa RandleIsaiah WashingtonSpike LeeAn aspiring actress disappointed by her treatment in the movie industry turns to phone sex to make a living.Actually, not the worst Spike Lee movie.
- DirectorWillard HuyckStarsLea ThompsonJeffrey JonesTim RobbinsA sarcastic humanoid duck is pulled from his homeworld to Earth where he must stop an alien invasion with the help of a nerdy scientist and a struggling female rock singer.Possibly the worst movie I have ever seen.
- DirectorEd HuntStarsRobert VaughnChristopher LeeDaniel PilonAn advance team from a dying, far-off civilization seeks a new world to conquer and inhabit -- Earth.This movie flat out stinks.
- DirectorMichael SchultzStarsDarren RobinsonDamon WimbleyMark MoralesThree bumbling orderlies are hired to take care of an old rich man. Humorous mayhem follows.The Fat Boys attempted to reinvent The Three Stooges.
- DirectorRichard RushStarsBruce WillisJane MarchRubén BladesA color-blind psychoanalyst is stalked by an unknown killer after taking over his murdered friend's therapy group, all of whom have a connection to a mysterious young woman that he begins having intense sexual encounters with.Walked out of this mess of a movie. The trailer is fantastic!
- DirectorJoe AlvesStarsDennis QuaidBess ArmstrongSimon MacCorkindaleA giant thirty-five-foot shark becomes trapped in a SeaWorld theme park and it's up to the sons of police chief Brody to rescue everyone.Laugh out loud bad.
- DirectorChristian DuguayStarsWesley SnipesDonald SutherlandMaury ChaykinUN's secretary general uses covert operations to help diplomacy along. Shaw's called back 6 months after one such operation. He witnesses the murder of Chinese UN ambassador at UN, NYC, chases the assassin and ends up a suspect.I actually went to go and see this movie for some laughs. I was not disappointed. Here is a tip: Do not use the title of the movie in the dialog of the movie.
- DirectorTerrence MalickStarsJim CaviezelSean PennNick NolteAdaptation of James Jones' autobiographical 1962 novel, focusing on the conflict at Guadalcanal during the second World War.Fantastic cast, visually stunning, 100% crap. The performances by Nick Nolte, and John Travolta may be the worst I have ever seen by them. I actually would like my money back for this one. What a waste of time.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsKevin BaconElisabeth ShueJosh BrolinA brilliant scientist's discovery renders him invisible, but transforms him into an omnipotent, dangerous megalomaniac.Entertaining for about 5 minutes. Apparently, becoming invisible turns you into a homicidal rapist.
- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsJohn BelushiDan AykroydTreat WilliamsHysterical Californians prepare for a Japanese invasion in the days after Pearl Harbor.I actually used to really like this movie. What was I thinking?
- DirectorRichard LesterStarsChristopher ReeveRichard PryorMargot KidderSynthetic kryptonite laced with tar splits Superman in two: good Clark Kent and bad Man of Steel.A complete mess.
- DirectorTom MankiewiczStarsDan AykroydTom HanksChristopher PlummerThe equally strait-laced and "by-the-book" nephew of Joe Friday must work with his more laid-back partner to solve a mystery.I did not laugh at all.
- DirectorStephen KesslerStarsChevy ChaseBeverly D'AngeloRandy QuaidIn the fourth outing for the vacation franchise, the Griswolds have to survive Vegas fever when they go to Las Vegas for a fun family vacation.PLEASE stop making these movies.
- DirectorMarco BrambillaStarsSylvester StalloneWesley SnipesSandra BullockA police officer is brought out of suspended animation in prison to pursue an old ultra-violent nemesis who is loose in a non-violent future society.The best thing about this movie is the EP by Sting.
- DirectorPrinceMichael BallhausStarsPrinceJerome BentonKristin Scott ThomasTwo con artist brothers attempt to swindle a soon-to-be wealthy heiress, but things get complicated when one falls in love with her.Garbage - in black & white.
- DirectorPrinceStarsPrinceMorris DayIngrid ChavezThe unofficial sequel to 'Purple Rain' (1984). The Kid is now club owner and rival to Morris (Morris Day), with whom he gets into a fight for the Glam Slam Nightclub.Save time, and just watch the music videos.
- DirectorMark L. LesterStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerRae Dawn ChongDan HedayaA retired Special Forces colonel tries to save his daughter, who was abducted by his former subordinate.Stupid.
- DirectorNimród AntalStarsAdrien BrodyLaurence FishburneTopher GraceA group of elite warriors parachute into an unfamiliar jungle and are hunted by members of a merciless alien race.Great promise - horrible execution.
- DirectorGeorge MillerGeorge OgilvieStarsMel GibsonTina TurnerBruce SpenceAfter being exiled from the most advanced town in post apocalyptic Australia, a drifter travels with a group of abandoned children to rebel against the town's queen.Unwatchable.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.I actually fell asleep in this movie.
- DirectorRobert ZemeckisStarsTom HanksHelen HuntPaul SanchezA FedEx executive undergoes a physical and emotional transformation after crash landing on a deserted island.P-U!
- DirectorJohn MooreStarsBruce WillisJai CourtneySebastian KochJohn McClane travels to Russia to help out his seemingly wayward son, Jack, only to discover that Jack is a CIA operative working undercover, causing the father and son to team up against underworld forces.Too stupid to be silly. Watching this movie is literally torture.
- DirectorMichael Caton-JonesStarsBruce WillisRichard GereSidney PoitierAn imprisoned I.R.A. fighter is freed to help stop a brutal, seemingly "faceless" assassin from completing his next job.This story makes no sense at all. 100% comical performances!
- DirectorBrian De PalmaStarsTom HanksBruce WillisMelanie GriffithAfter his mistress runs over a young teen, a Wall Street hotshot sees his life unravel in the spotlight and attracts the interest of a down-and-out reporter.Fantastic book - great cast - horrible movie. Please read The Devil's Candy: The Anatomy Of A Hollywood Fiasco by Julie Salamon.
- DirectorRobert RodriguezStarsAntonio BanderasSalma HayekJohnny DeppHitman "El Mariachi" becomes involved in international espionage involving a psychotic CIA agent and a corrupt Mexican general.I'm still not sure what this movie was about. Possibly the worst sequel, ever.
- DirectorLee TamahoriStarsNick NolteMelanie GriffithJennifer ConnellyIn 1950's Los Angeles, a special crime squad of the LAPD investigates the murder of a young woman.Really, really bad.
- DirectorRobert AltmanStarsRobin WilliamsShelley DuvallRay WalstonThe adventures of the famous sailor man and his friends in the seaside town of Sweethaven.Not entertaining at all.
- DirectorBrian De PalmaStarsTim RobbinsGary SiniseDon CheadleWhen the first manned mission to Mars meets with a catastrophic and mysterious disaster after reporting an unidentified structure, a rescue mission is launched to investigate the tragedy and bring back any survivors.Crap.
- DirectorJohn LandisStarsEddie MurphyJon TenneyJoey TravoltaAxel Foley, while investigating a car theft ring, comes across something much bigger than that: the same men who killed his boss are running a counterfeit money ring out of a theme park in Los Angeles.Enough, already!
- DirectorJean-Pierre JeunetStarsSigourney WeaverWinona RyderDominique PinonTwo centuries after her death, a powerful human/alien hybrid clone of Ellen Ripley aids a crew of space pirates in stopping the aliens from reaching Earth.Stop the madness.
- DirectorJohn DerekStarsBo DerekRichard HarrisMiles O'KeeffeWhile on an African expedition with her father, Jane Parker meets Tarzan, and the two become fascinated by each other.Junk.
- DirectorIvan ReitmanStarsBill MurrayDan AykroydSigourney WeaverThe discovery of a massive river of ectoplasm and a resurgence of spectral activity allows the staff of Ghostbusters to revive the business.Just watch Ghostbusters, and forget this was ever made.
- DirectorIvan ReitmanStarsRobert RedfordDebra WingerDaryl HannahA New York district attorney works and flirts with his adversary and her kooky artist client, who is on trial for a murder she didn't commit.Stupid, stupid, stupid.
- DirectorRoger YoungStarsMichael KeatonRae Dawn ChongRic AbernathyA mysterious black box spells danger to a con man and female detective.Stupid story and plot. No likable characters. Crummy dialog.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsCasper Van DienDenise RichardsDina MeyerHumans, in a fascist militaristic future, wage war with giant alien bugs.Awful.
- DirectorGary NelsonStarsMaximilian SchellAnthony PerkinsRobert ForsterA research vessel finds a missing ship, commanded by a mysterious scientist, on the edge of a black hole.Sheer disappointment.
- DirectorDavid FincherStarsMorgan FreemanBrad PittKevin SpaceyTwo detectives, a rookie and a veteran, hunt a serial killer who uses the seven deadly sins as his motives.A film completely absent of light bulbs rated more than 100 watts. A movie that probably looked really good on paper. Nothing enjoyable at all.
- DirectorJohn LandisStarsSteve MartinChevy ChaseMartin ShortThree actors accept an invitation to a Mexican village to perform their onscreen bandit fighter roles, unaware that it is the real thing.
- DirectorEthan CoenJoel CoenStarsOscar IsaacCarey MulliganJohn GoodmanA week in the life of a young singer as he navigates the Greenwich Village folk scene of 1961.