Worst Movies Ever (I've Seen Thus Far)

by jamesrainchecklarkin | created - 31 Mar 2013 | updated - 07 Sep 2013 | Public

Where's the spoiled fruit? Self-explanatory. You may notice a pattern in these crappy pictures that have offended my sensibilities.

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1. How to Be a Player (1997)

R | 93 min | Comedy

5.4
Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  

A playboy gets the tables turned on him when a party is arranged with all of the women he has been two-timing are in attendance.

Director: Lionel C. Martin | Stars: Bill Bellamy, Natalie Desselle Reid, Lark Voorhies, Mari Morrow

Votes: 2,600 | Gross: $13.96M

2. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

R | 104 min | Comedy

6.9
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.9/10 X  
51 Metascore

The comic "Bluntman and Chronic" is based on real-life stoners Jay and Silent Bob, so when they get no profit from a big-screen adaptation, they set out to wreck the movie.

Director: Kevin Smith | Stars: Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, Jeff Anderson

Votes: 135,035 | Gross: $30.06M

3. Malibu's Most Wanted (2003)

PG-13 | 86 min | Comedy, Crime

5.1
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
43 Metascore

A senator arranges for his son, a rich white kid who fancies himself black, to be kidnapped by a couple of black actors pretending to be murderers to try and shock him out of his plans to become a rapper.

Director: John Whitesell | Stars: Jamie Kennedy, Ryan O'Neal, Blair Underwood, Taye Diggs

Votes: 16,865 | Gross: $34.31M

4. Dance Flick (2009)

PG-13 | 83 min | Action, Comedy, Music

3.5
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  
40 Metascore

Street dancer Thomas Uncles is from the wrong side of the tracks, but his bond with the beautiful Megan White might help the duo realize their dreams as they enter in the mother of all dance battles.

Director: Damien Dante Wayans | Stars: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Shoshana Bush, Damon Wayans Jr.

Votes: 10,588 | Gross: $25.62M

5. A Haunted House (2013)

R | 86 min | Comedy, Fantasy

5.1
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
20 Metascore

Malcolm and Kisha move into their dream home, but soon learn a demon also resides there. When Kisha becomes possessed, Malcolm - determined to keep his sex life on track - turns to a priest, a psychic, and a team of ghost-busters for help.

Director: Michael Tiddes | Stars: Marlon Wayans, Essence Atkins, Marlene Forte, David Koechner

Votes: 37,607 | Gross: $40.04M

6. Bringing Down the House (2003)

PG-13 | 105 min | Comedy

5.6
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
39 Metascore

When a lonely guy meets a woman on the internet who happens to be in prison, she breaks out to get him to prove her innocence, and proceeds to wreak havoc on his middle-class life.

Director: Adam Shankman | Stars: Steve Martin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy, Joan Plowright

Votes: 31,564 | Gross: $132.72M

7. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

PG-13 | 107 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

6.7
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
40 Metascore

A look at Wolverine's early life, in particular his time with the government squad Team X and the impact it will have on his later years.

Director: Gavin Hood | Stars: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Ryan Reynolds, Danny Huston

Votes: 401,937 | Gross: $179.88M

8. Next Friday (2000)

R | 98 min | Comedy

6.1
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
41 Metascore

Uncle Elroy and Day Day owe money on taxes so Craig finds a way to steal from the next door neighbors to pay off the taxes so Uncle Elroy's house doesn't get put up for auction.

Director: Steve Carr | Stars: Ice Cube, Mike Epps, Justin Pierce, John Witherspoon

Votes: 30,591 | Gross: $57.33M

9. Be Kind Rewind (2008)

PG-13 | 102 min | Comedy

6.4
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
52 Metascore

Two bumbling store clerks inadvertently erase the footage from all of the tapes in their video rental store. In order to keep the business running, they re-shoot every film in the store with their own camera, with a budget of zero dollars.

Director: Michel Gondry | Stars: Jack Black, Yasiin Bey, Danny Glover, Mia Farrow

Votes: 83,188 | Gross: $11.17M

10. Wrath of the Titans (2012)

PG-13 | 99 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

5.8
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
37 Metascore

Perseus braves the treacherous underworld to rescue his father, Zeus, captured by his son, Ares, and brother Hades who unleash the ancient Titans upon the world.

Director: Jonathan Liebesman | Stars: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Rosamund Pike, Ralph Fiennes

Votes: 162,994 | Gross: $83.67M

11. The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

R | 92 min | Horror

4.4
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.4/10 X  
33 Metascore

A mad scientist kidnaps and mutilates a trio of tourists in order to reassemble them into a human centipede, created by stitching their mouths to each others' rectums.

Director: Tom Six | Stars: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura

Votes: 62,787 | Gross: $0.18M

12. The Smurfs 2 (2013)

PG | 105 min | Animation, Adventure, Comedy

5.4
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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
34 Metascore

The Smurfs team up with their human friends to rescue Smurfette, who has been abducted by Gargamel, since she knows a secret spell that can turn the evil sorcerer's newest creation, creatures called "The Naughties", into real Smurfs.

Director: Raja Gosnell | Stars: Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, Katy Perry, Hank Azaria

Votes: 31,042 | Gross: $71.02M