75 Worst Movies

This is a list of the 75 worst movies I have ever seen, with equal bits worst/hate in the top 10. I voided all SyFy Original films I have seen, which is a lot. They would surely occupy a lot of my list if I were to include them, but I decided I would stick to Hollywood releases/ releases with a decent budget.
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Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
A kid from the Midwest moves out to Hollywood in order to follow in his parents footsteps -- and become a porn star. (97 mins.)
Director: Tom Brady
“ The *beep* Holy Grail of movie turds. I honestly don't even know where I should begin. I mean, simply put, it is the worst movie I have ever seen, and also my most hated. Nick Swardson is painfully unfunny, and the asinine character he has to portray is no help either, but the real disappointments were Christina Ricci as the sorta-kinda-hot and unrealistic love interest, and then Stephen Dorff as the villainous porn star, and main antagonist of the film. I know I have thrown around the words "stupid" and "unfunny" a lot in these mini commentaries on each film, but I truly honestly 100% believe with every square inch of my soul, for the rest of eternity, whether in heaven or in hell, or in bardo or ultimate annihilation, that Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star is the single most stupid and unfunny movie in existence. Dancer in the Dark is funnier than Bucky Larson. Any documentaries about Auschwitz are funnier than Bucky Larson. ” - hapax_legomena
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
After the birth of Renesmee, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi. (115 mins.)
Director: Bill Condon
“ This movie made me laugh myself to tears for almost the entire runtime. The kicker is how I had no *beep* clue what was going on and why, because this is the first Twilight movie I had ever seen, and certainly the last & only one. Were the actors on ketamine while filming this movie? Was this just one gigantic K orgy? I wouldn't be surprised. Some of the lines of dialogue are just catastrophic, and so blatantly obvious in targeting the hopeless female teen romantics across the nation. The best part is how unbelievably terrible the ending is. If I was a fan of this series, and invested my time into it, and that's how it ends, I would start a *beep* riot. This movie forced me to changed all my 0/100s on my Criticker into 1s (except for one) just so I could feel justified in giving this *beep* a proper 0. ” - hapax_legomena
Epic Movie (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
A comedic satire of films that are large in scope, reputation and popularity. (86 mins.)
“ **#3 actually goes out to every single Aaron Seltzer & Jason Friedberg movie ever, post-Scary Movie 1 & 2. I decided to use Epic Movie as the example, but this list includes: Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie, & Vampires Suck**

These two asinine human beings are the most unfunny people on the planet. Uwe Boll and Lars von Trier have better grasps on humor than these two morons. This string of movies is unbelievable, and literally a disgrace to the intelligence of all mankind. To make matters worse, these movies are always wide-released and sit in the theaters for a few weeks at most. That is disgusting. And just to really piss on mankind, these films rake in an average of $35.4M; Disaster Movie being the only box office failure. Can this be considered a digression in American intelligence? ” - hapax_legomena
Steppin: The Movie (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  
Set on a university campus, the story line unfolds over a several month period in which the "Greeks"... (138 mins.)
“ To stay consistent with the general umbrella term I am using, this is another "You Got Served"-type rival hood dramedy, and it is the biggest turd of them all. "Steppin", which is the name of the dance style featured, is literally retarded. It's a bunch of silly synchronized (although just barely) stomping and honestly, nothing is impressive. One can admit that, despite being awful movies, some of the choreography in movies such as Step Up or You Got Served isn't terrible, nor hard to watch. You know what, I am even willing to bet that the cheerleading choreography in any and all Bring It On films is superior to Steppin:The Movie. In this case, the substance and the choreography is absolutely turdtastic. And yes, that is indeed Anthony Anderson front and center on that beautiful poster art. ” - hapax_legomena
Johnny English Reborn (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
Johnny English goes up against international assassins hunting down the Chinese premier. (101 mins.)
Director: Oliver Parker
“ Saw this in theaters. Don't ask why. Rowan Atkinson, as hapless as he is, is the most unlikely secret agent, and he can hardly pull off a funny parody of it. There were ample nut shots to really drive the knife deeper, but the fact that there were grown people laughing at the childish jokes (I can see the appeal to 4-10 year olds) really twisted the knife. I paid money for this. For 90 minutes my brain was deflated. I will never get those 90 minutes back. ” - hapax_legomena
She's the Man (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
When her brother decides to ditch for a couple weeks in London, Viola heads over to his elite boarding school, disguises herself as him, and proceeds to fall for one of her soccer teammates. Little does she realize she's not the only one with romantic troubles, as she, as he, gets in the middle of a series of intermingled love affairs. (105 mins.)
Director: Andy Fickman
“ I honestly didn't realize how many times Channing Tatum pops up on this list until I started making the posts on here. This was one of the first movies that really made me feel ill while watching it. It was a weird feeling, but it was a feeling that told me I would hate this movie forever and until the end of time. It also told me never to watch any of the movies my sister has received for Christmas. ” - hapax_legomena
Mutant Chronicles (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
28th century soldier Mitch Hunter leads a fight against an army of underworld Mutants. (111 mins.)
Director: Simon Hunter
“ Came across this movie late one night on the SyFy Channel. I always will stop and watch a SyFy Original movie for the laughs, and also to keep active on the lower scores in my Criticker. I knew something was fishy when this movie had Thomas Jane, John Malkovich, Rob Perlman, and Devon Aoki starring in it, which is well over the potential 1 b-or-c-list actor a SyFy Original can snag, but I was still baffled when I realized this was not actually a SyFy Original movie. It had all the proper ingredients, from silly looking villains to high school level acting, and from dated cgi to poor camera techniques and filters (the movie had a really ugly heavy brown/grey overtone to it that just looked way too odd). It's probably best you never bother with this. Change the channel. ” - hapax_legomena
12 Rounds (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Detective Danny Fisher discovers his girlfriend has been kidnapped by a ex-con tied to Fisher's past, and he'll have to successfully complete 12 challenges in order to secure her safe release. (108 mins.)
Director: Renny Harlin
“ This is John Cena's second feature film, and I can't help but feel like they tried to take it seriously. Extra bonus points for Aiden Gillen, who portrays one of my favorite GoT characters, Littlefinger, being the turdy villain in this turdy turd. Ouch, my soul. ” - hapax_legomena
Bio-Dome (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.4/10 X  
Moronic best friends get themselves locked inside the Bio-Dome, a science experiment, along with a group of environmental scientists for one year. (88 mins.)
Director: Jason Bloom
“ If you read over this list, and you pick out a few that you actually enjoy,and you add Bio-Dome to that list, we are forever not friends. Besides perhaps my #1, Bio-Dome is the one movie on here I refuse to sympathize with if you say you enjoy it. Bio-Dome was the greatest insult on my intelligence. Bio-Dome is an insult on an 8 year olds intelligence. There is zero excuses for liking this movie. ” - hapax_legomena
Grandma's Boy (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
A 35 year old video game tester has to move in with his grandma and her two old lady roommates. (94 mins.)
“ Grandma's Boy is a bunch of retards acting like retards. That's it. It has obvious idiot bait with the excessive smoking and drinking and video games and sex, which is probably why I get so many shocked faces when I say I hate Grandma's Boy. ” - hapax_legomena
Miss March (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.0/10 X  
A young man awakens from a four-year coma to hear that his once virginal high-school sweetheart has... (90 mins.)
“ The Whitest Kids You Know are pretty hit-or-miss with their skits, but at the time I thought they had some pretty humorous ones. Decided I would try the movie made by and starring the two main guys of the troupe. Big mistake. Not only was this unfunny, but it was so brutally unfunny that I can now never chuckle at a Whitest Kids You Know skit ever again in my life. ” - hapax_legomena
Scooby-Doo (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
After an acrimonious break up, the Mystery Inc. gang are individually brought to an island resort to investigate strange goings on. (86 mins.)
Director: Raja Gosnell
“ I always loved Scooby-Doo as a kid, I was 12 when this was released so a little over the curve at this point but still within the demographic, and was horrified at how poorly they butchered one of my favorite cartoons. I literally have a grudge against Matthew Lillard. I'm shocked a few more of his films skipped out on this list. ” - hapax_legomena
Spice World (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
World famous pop group The Spice Girls zip around London in their luxurious double decker tour bus having various adventures and performing for their fans. (93 mins.)
Director: Bob Spiers
“ Silly to the extreme. The worst pop-star(s)-to-screen movie. ” - hapax_legomena
The Happening (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.0/10 X  
A science teacher, his wife, and a young girl struggle to survive a plague that causes those infected to commit suicide. (91 mins.)
“ At this point, we all know there will be some sort of absurd plot twist eventually, and Shyamalan's first R-rated feature really took the term "absurd" a little too literally. This + the horrendously stiff and mechanic acting from both a confused eyebrow-raising Wahlberg and distant spaced-out unblinking Deschanel makes this the worst M. Night Syamalan movie on the planet. ” - hapax_legomena
Windtalkers (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
Two U.S. Marines in WWII are assigned to protect Navajo Marines who use their native language as an unbreakable radio cypher. (134 mins.)
Director: John Woo
“ Windtalkers is the king of the Nicolas Cage Turds. I get absolutely no pleasure at all from this movie, in fact it made me feel ill while watching it. "The Windtalker Syndrome": When you go help a fallen soldier, you die automatically, usually by ambiguous explosion. This happens so consistently throughout the movie that I almost felt dizzy. This is the one Nicolas Cage movie I will never watch again because it's long as *beep* and the story is so horrendous and asinine. I would not accept money to watch this again. Just reading the tagline on the poster is enough to make my stomach churn. ” - hapax_legomena
National Security (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Two mismatched security guards are thrown together to bust a smuggling operation. (88 mins.)
Director: Dennis Dugan
“ Could there possibly be a more HILARIOUS duo than Martin Lawrence and STEVE ZAHN?! I don't think so, because man are these two funny. No matter how many times they repeat the same general joke. ” - hapax_legomena
Old Dogs (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
Two friends and business partners find their lives turned upside down when strange circumstances lead them to be the temporary guardians of seven year-old twins. (88 mins.)
Director: Walt Becker
“ I guess I just really find the worst in these rival family comedies. It pains me to watch some actors belittle themselves like this. ” - hapax_legomena
Trapped in Paradise (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
Residents of a friendly Pennsylvania town foil three brothers' plan to rob a bank on Christmas Eve. (111 mins.)
Director: George Gallo
“ This Nicolas Cage movie is rough. It's your cliche holiday comedy, with a really horrible plot, and with Nicolas, Jon Lovitz, and Dana Carvey in the leads. It's just a recipe for disaster, and it is. It gives me no enjoyment to watch this movie and it's not even Nicolas' fault; Dana Carvey is the turd in the punch bowl. Dana Carvey completely overshadows the horribleness from both Nicolas and Lovitz. It's brutal. ” - hapax_legomena
Johnson Family Vacation (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
AAA can't help the roadside emergency that is the JOHNSON FAMILY VACATION. Even the on-board navigation... (97 mins.)
“ It's so unfunny and awkward that it's hard to watch. ” - hapax_legomena
Battlefield Earth (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
After enslavement and near extermination by an alien race in the year 3000, humanity begins to fight back. (118 mins.)
Director: Roger Christian
“ This is one of my favorite bad movies. Between Travolta trying so hard and Forest Whitaker looking disinterested, you kind of get lost in whatever else is going on. But then when you do snap back into it, you realize just how really, really stupid this movie is. Travolta really pissed on the author of this book. ” - hapax_legomena
What Happens in Vegas (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
A man and a woman are compelled, for legal reasons, to live life as a couple for a limited period of time. At stake is a large amount of money. (99 mins.)
Director: Tom Vaughan
“ Two beautiful people trying to pretend they have feelings, and their witty best friend sidekicks. Something along those lines. The material is cliche romcom, but the combination of Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz is like getting punched in the face a bunch of times. ” - hapax_legomena
Crossover (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.1/10 X  
A naturally talented basketball player, Noah Cruise is determined to become a doctor using his basketball scholarship to UCLA pre-med... (95 mins.)
“ Another hood drama tiptoeing the lines of You Got Served, but this time with basketball. It's honestly just hyper-melodramatic drivel to me. ” - hapax_legomena
Big Momma's House 2 (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
An FBI agent reprises his disguise as a corpulent old lady and takes a job as a nanny in a crime suspect's house. (99 mins.)
Director: John Whitesell
“ I hate Martin Lawrence. I don't think he is funny, and I don't think his movies are funny. He plays the same exact copy&pasted role in all of his not-so-comedic comedy movies. I don't laugh, I just die a little bit on the inside. ” - hapax_legomena
Troll 2 (1990)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.7/10 X  
A family vacationing in a small town discovers the entire town is inhabited by goblins in disguise as humans, who plan to eat them. (95 mins.)
Director: Drake Floyd
“ The best worst movie ever made. It's hard to disagree with that. One of the most notorious turds of them all, Troll 2 truly is quite terrible, in just about everything possible. But it also has some of the greatest one-liners in all of cinematic history. Ed Wood would approve. ” - hapax_legomena
The Room (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  
Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée, Lisa. One day, inexplicably, she gets bored of him and decides to seduce Johnny's best friend, Mark. From there, nothing will be the same again. (99 mins.)
Director: Tommy Wiseau
“ One of the most (in?)famous bad movies ever. It's always a joy to watch, despite being brutally horrible. The acting is so bad that it's brilliant, especially from the director/star Tommy Wiseau. "I did not hit her, I DID NAAAHHHHTTT. Oh hi Mark." Classic. ” - hapax_legomena
Trespass (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
As they're held for ransom, a husband and wife's predicament grows more dire amid the discovery of betrayal and deception. (91 mins.)
Director: Joel Schumacher
“ I love Nicolas Cage. I love him because he is terrible and his movies are terrible. But they are so terrible that I admire them. There are quite a few Nicolas Cage movies I could put on this list easily, but I decided to only add the ones that are literally just so bad that they are truly truly terrible, and give me no enjoyment at all. Trespass is one of them. ” - hapax_legomena
Scanners III: The Takeover (1991 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
A young female scanner turns from a sweet young thing into a murderous, power-crazed villain after she... (101 mins.)
“ There are some seriously awesome terribly delivered lines in this movie. Along with an absurd and disjointed story, cutting edge Windows 95 effects, and atrocious one-liners, the third installment of the Scanners trilogy is an under-rated awesome bad movie. ” - hapax_legomena
Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.0/10 X  
A tale of an inner city drug dealer who turns away from crime to pursue his passion, rap music. (117 mins.)
Director: Jim Sheridan
“ Our protagonist, Mister Fifty Cent, gives up on becoming a rap star about 20 minutes after trying to think of some raps, and decides to join a gang instead. The narrative, narrated by Mister Cent himself, is one of those make-you-feel-queasy-it's-so-bad type. ” - hapax_legomena
Immortals (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity. (110 mins.)
“ Okay this movie sucks pretty bad. Cue Mickey Rourke's ridiculous helmet. ~dead~ ” - hapax_legomena
Cats & Dogs (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
A look at the top-secret, high-tech espionage war going on between cats and dogs, which their human owners are blissfully unaware of. (87 mins.)
“ There are cats. There are dogs. They can talk. And they are battling. Or something ridiculous like that. It's hard to believe that this is a real movie. But it is. I've seen it. The world has probably seen it. ” - hapax_legomena
Super Mario Bros. (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.0/10 X  
Two Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi, must travel to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world. (104 mins.)
“ More parody than adaptation, the Super Mario Bros movie is notoriously awful. Although fun to watch, this movie is probably the worst video game to film adaptation out there, and we all know how pretty that list is. I will never not chuckle to myself whenever I remember Dennis Hopper played King Koopa in the Super Mario Bros. movie. That is the sickest joke of them all. ” - hapax_legomena
Soul Plane (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.4/10 X  
Things get raucously funny aboard the maiden flight of a black-owned airline, thanks to some last-minute passenger additions. (86 mins.)
Director: Jessy Terrero
“ You hardly have enough time to breath in between each and every unfunny race joke. They repeat the same joke over and over and over. ” - hapax_legomena
Fighting (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
In New York City, a young counterfeiter is introduced to the world of underground street fighting by a seasoned scam artist, who becomes his manager on the bare-knuckling brawling circuit. (105 mins.)
Director: Dito Montiel
“ This movie literally could not have been dumber. It tore into me, flesh and bone. They should have titled this movie "A Lot of *beep* You Don't Care About" ” - hapax_legomena
Good Burger (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Two dim-witted teenagers are forced to save the fast food restaurant they work at from going out of business, despite a new-and-improved burger joint opening across the street that want to be the "Top Dog" in the fast food industry. (103 mins.)
Director: Brian Robbins
“ "Welcome to Good Burger, Home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?" will forever haunt me. ” - hapax_legomena
Not Another Teen Movie (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
A sendup of all the teen movies that have accumulated in the past two decades. (89 mins.)
Director: Joel Gallen
“ Another horrendous comedy with a slew of one-dimensional characters that serve one purpose and one purpose only throughout the film. It's never funny, only painful. ” - hapax_legomena
The Hot Chick (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
An attractive and popular teenager who is mean-spirited toward others finds herself in the body of an older man, and must find a way to get back to her original body. (104 mins.)
Director: Tom Brady
“ Just when you thought Rob Schneider couldn't possibly shame his entire family enough. ” - hapax_legomena
Highlander: The Source (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
Duncan MacLeod and his fellow Immortals quest to locate the Grail of their world. (86 mins.)
Director: Brett Leonard
“ Not only does this movie suck, but it has nothing to do with Highlander. Somehow there are multiple Highlanders. Idk. It's just crap. ” - hapax_legomena
2012 (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
A frustrated writer struggles to keep his family alive when a series of global catastrophes threatens to annihilate mankind. (158 mins.)
Director: Roland Emmerich
“ Somehow John Cusack & crew manage to dodge various hurling debris by mere inches for an entire movie. The CGI didn't even look good. Extremely frustrating from start to finish. ” - hapax_legomena
Reign of Fire (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
A brood of fire-breathing dragons emerges from the earth and begins setting everything ablaze, establishing dominance over the planet. (101 mins.)
Director: Rob Bowman
“ The guy from Failure to Launch is a dragon slayer. Christian Bale is Christian Bale. Everything about Reign of Fire is stupid. ” - hapax_legomena
Scary Movie 2 (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
Four teens are tricked by their professor into visiting a haunted house for a school project. (83 mins.)
“ See #42 ” - hapax_legomena
White Chicks (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
Two disgraced FBI agents go way undercover in an effort to protect hotel heiresses the Wilson Sisters from a kidnapping plot. (109 mins.)
“ I honestly am still traumatized at how horrifying these creatures look. They look like the aliens from Bad Taste. Aaannnddd of course there was nothing funny about this movie. Just terror, pure and utter terror. ” - hapax_legomena
Scary Movie (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
A year after disposing of the body of a man they accidentally killed, a group of dumb teenagers are stalked by a bumbling serial killer. (88 mins.)
“ Cliche jokes. Lame jokes. Horrible jokes. Atrocious everything. ” - hapax_legomena
You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
An Israeli Special Forces Soldier fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist. (113 mins.)
Director: Dennis Dugan
“ Well this is the worst Adam Sandler movie I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. Truly just awful. None of these jokes were funny. And they just kept repeating over and over. Even this poster is screaming, "HEY THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO SUCK AND BE VERY UNFUNNY" ” - hapax_legomena
Good Luck Chuck (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
In order to keep the woman of his dreams from falling for another guy, Charlie Logan has to break the curse that has made him wildly popular with single women: Sleep with Charlie once, and the next man you meet will be your true love. (96 mins.)
Director: Mark Helfrich
“ Because, Dane Cook. Yeah, you have nothing to be proud of either, Miss Alba. Shame on you. ” - hapax_legomena
Troll (1986)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
A wicked troll king in search of a mystical ring that will return him to his human form invades a San Francisco apartment complex where a powerful witch lives. (82 mins.)
“ The lesser-known, and completely unrelated prequel to the grandslam hit, Troll 2. Troll itself is nothing to brag about, and almost reaches the potential of Troll 2, despite always being lost in its shadow. ” - hapax_legomena
Miss Congeniality (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
An FBI agent must go undercover in the Miss United States beauty pageant to prevent a group from bombing the event. (109 mins.)
Director: Donald Petrie
“ Can we all take a moment of silence for the death of the Oscars? As we all know, this was the very moment Sanda Bullock's name was read as the winner of the Best Actress Oscar. Yes. The same Sandra Bullock who plays Miss Congeniality in every movie she is ever in. RIP Oscars. ” - hapax_legomena
The Animal (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  
After receiving organ transplants from various animal donors, a man finds himself taking on the traits of those animals. (84 mins.)
Director: Luke Greenfield
“ This time Rob Schneider was actually given an excuse for acting similar to a wild animal with a pea-sized brain. I see what you guys did there. ” - hapax_legomena
Kazaam (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.8/10 X  
Being a lone young boy in the 'hood" is dangerous and unpleasant. This is what Max experiences when... (93 mins.)
Director: Paul M. Glaser
“ How often do you get a movie starring Shaq as a gangsta swag genie that comes out of a boombox?! Not very often. Childhood was so silly. ” - hapax_legomena
Street Fighter (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
Col. Guile and various other martial arts heroes fight against the tyranny of Dictator M. Bison and his cohorts. (102 mins.)
“ Can I just gush over JCVD for a second? Honestly, is there any actor (other than Nicolas Cage) who is more fun to watch be terrible in terrible movies than JCVD? Seriously. Yeah, this movie is embarrassing to even be titled Street Fighter, but you just have to admire it in all of its turdy glory. ” - hapax_legomena
Space Jam (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
Michael Jordan agrees to help the Looney Tunes play a basketball game vs. alien slavers to determine their freedom. (88 mins.)
Director: Joe Pytka
“ Oh don't mind me, just takin' a piss on your childhood. ” - hapax_legomena
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
An average aquarium cleaner house-sits for a gigolo, only to be forced to become one himself. (88 mins.)
Director: Mike Mitchell
“ Does Rob Schneider even have a fan base? ” - hapax_legomena
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
After a family is forced to relocate for their son's health, they begin experiencing supernatural behavior in their new home, and uncover a sinister history. (92 mins.)
Director: Peter Cornwell
“ This list would be pretty useless without at least one of those haunting/possession films that are incessantly released throughout the year. Fortunately I haven't seen many, but this one is certainly the turdiest of the ones I have had the displeasure of viewing. ” - hapax_legomena
Babylon A.D. (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Veteran-turned-mercenary Toorop takes the high-risk job of escorting a woman from Russia to America. Little does he know that she is host to an organism that a cult wants to harvest in order to produce a genetically modified Messiah. (101 mins.)
“ I would be pissed off too if I was the guy who wrote this book. ” - hapax_legomena
Drumline (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
A band director recruits a Harlem street drummer to play at a Southern university. (118 mins.)
“ You Got Served may be a pretty horrible movie, but You Got Served with Nick Cannon and rival competitive drumming is even more horrible. This is the only movie I have seen that stars Nick Cannon, and rightly so; The trauma runs deep. Can you believe that this movie has a positive tomatometer on RT? ” - hapax_legomena
Bloodsport (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
Follows Frank Dux, an American martial artist serving in the military, who decides to leave the army to compete in a martial arts tournament in Hong Kong where fights to the death can occur. (92 mins.)
Director: Newt Arnold
“ Now don't get me wrong, I love me some Bloodsport. I wouldn't own it if I didn't, but the fact of the matter is people love Bloodsport because it's so bad. The flashbacks kill me every time, and I'm pretty sure I got diabetes by the time JCVD did his 27th split. ” - hapax_legomena
Bully (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
A pack of naïve teenagers conspire to murder a mutual friend, whose aggressive demeanor has proved too much. (108 mins.)
Director: Larry Clark
“ This honestly could have been a decent movie, but the acting all around is like nails on a chalkboard. Bully is like Kids without Harmony Korine writing it. ” - hapax_legomena
Wild Hogs (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
A group of suburban biker wannabes looking for adventure hit the open road, but get more than they bargained for when they encounter a New Mexico gang called the Del Fuegos. (100 mins.)
Director: Walt Becker
“ Three of the four leads in this movie just proved their careers are stuck in a tar pit, and most likely will never escape. You know who you are. ” - hapax_legomena
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
Former cop Brian O'Conner is called upon to bust a dangerous criminal and he recruits the help of a former childhood friend and street racer who has a chance to redeem himself. (107 mins.)
Director: John Singleton
“ When Ludacris isn't the worst performance in your movie, you seriously have some issues you need to address. ” - hapax_legomena
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
Two straight, single Brooklyn firefighters pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic partner benefits. (115 mins.)
Director: Dennis Dugan
“ Adam Sandler. Kevin James. Gay jokes. Nut shots. Could one possibly ask for a more hilarious combination of things? ” - hapax_legomena
300 (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.7/10 X  
King Leonidas of Sparta and a force of 300 men fight the Persians at Thermopylae in 480 B.C. (117 mins.)
Director: Zack Snyder
“ Over-the-top stylized action with no substance isn't really for me. 300 is a *beep* that may serve better being played on repeat at the gym with Linkin Park played over the radio, surrounded by a never-ending cycle of constant man sweat. ” - hapax_legomena
Pearl Harbor (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
Pearl Harbor follows the story of two best friends, Rafe and Danny, and their love lives as they go off to join the war. (183 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
“ The attack is undeniably impressive and fun to look it, but that is merely the mayonaise on the triple-decker turkey club sandwich, and the rest of the sandwich has been left out to rot. In other words, it's inedible. ” - hapax_legomena
Dear John (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A romantic drama about a soldier who falls for a conservative college student while he's home on leave. (108 mins.)
“ Of the two Nicolas Sparks film adaptations I have seen, this is the one that makes the cut. Let's be honest, Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried are a lot less fun to watch than Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, even if both movies are horrible. Channing Tatum has a knack for playing the most unlikely characters. ” - hapax_legomena
Waiting... (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
Young employees at Shenaniganz restaurant collectively stave off boredom and adulthood with their antics. (94 mins.)
Director: Rob McKittrick
“ What a heaping pile of steamy restaurant poo this wonderful film is. Every character has one trait, and they beat you over the head with it until the credits roll. This movie is funny when you are six. ” - hapax_legomena
Snow Dogs (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
When a Miami dentist inherits a team of sled dogs, he's got to learn the trade or lose his pack to a crusty mountain man. (99 mins.)
Director: Brian Levant
“ This is literally the furthest Cuba Gooding Jr. has ever fallen (from what I've seen). Yes, this is even further than the atrocious Boat Trip, released the same year. ” - hapax_legomena
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war. (150 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
“ Take what I say about Transformers and multiply it by a hundred Michael Bay explosions. I'm shocked how much all the leads really stepped up their horrible acting game. And [lease stop shoving an American flag up my ass every time I watch one of your movies, Michael Bay. And enough with the slow-mo wide pans and lens flares. ” - hapax_legomena
Malibu's Most Wanted (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
A senator arranges for his son, a rich white kid who fancies himself black, to be kidnapped by a couple of black actors pretending to be murderers to try and shock him out of his plans to become a rapper. (86 mins.)
Director: John Whitesell
“ Obvious turd is obvious. Anthony Anderson finds his way into a hefty chunk of movies on this list. Keep up the good work, Anthony. ” - hapax_legomena
Paranormal Activity (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
After moving into a suburban home, a couple becomes increasingly disturbed by a nightly demonic presence. (86 mins.)
Director: Oren Peli
“ I will truly never understand the hype, and how it has extended as far as 4(?) films at this point. It was such a joke when I saw it that the whole theater was simultaneously poking fun for at least half of the movie. Yet I bet those same people keep paying to the see sequels. ” - hapax_legomena
Little Nicky (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
After two of the devil's three sons escape Hell to wreak havoc on Earth, the devil must send his third son, the mild-mannered Nicky, to bring them back before it's too late. (90 mins.)
Director: Steven Brill
“ This one may honestly be one of Adam Sandler's worst movies (that I have seen), but due to childhood nostalgia and lack of seeing it in a few years, I decided to plop it right here. ” - hapax_legomena
Transporter 2 (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
Mercenary Frank Martin, who specializes moving goods of all kinds, surfaces again this time in Miami, Florida when he's implicated in the kidnapping of the young son of a powerful USA official. (87 mins.)
Director: Louis Leterrier
“ Completely unnecessary sequel. Just look at that *beep* poster. Not even Jason Statham looks interested. I wonder how many times Jason Statham can be typecast before his head explodes. ” - hapax_legomena
Forrest Gump (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.8/10 X  
Forrest Gump, while not intelligent, has accidentally been present at many historic moments, but his true love, Jenny Curran, eludes him. (142 mins.)
Director: Robert Zemeckis
“ *beep* Forrest Gump. Seriously. ” - hapax_legomena
Batman Forever (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
Batman must battle Two-Face and The Riddler with help from an amorous psychologist and a young circus acrobat who becomes his sidekick, Robin. (121 mins.)
Director: Joel Schumacher
“ This sad excuse for a Batman movie is just horrendous. It literally pains me to watch. Leagues worse than Batman & Robin. ” - hapax_legomena
Corky Romano (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
The loser son of a Mafia honcho must go undercover for the FBI. (86 mins.)
Director: Rob Pritts
“ Was never for a second funny + Chris Kattan. That's about all I have to say. ” - hapax_legomena
Transformers (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
An ancient struggle between two Cybertronian races, the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons, comes to Earth, with a clue to the ultimate power held by a teenager. (144 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
“ This movie is every 8-10 year olds wet dream. As for me, it's a snoozefest of cheesy dialogue and cringe-worthy performances. "I'll drive, you shoot!" Oh gawd. ” - hapax_legomena
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
With their daughter away, the Kranks decide to skip Christmas altogether until she decides to come home, causing an uproar when they have to celebrate the holiday at the last minute. (99 mins.)
Director: Joe Roth
“ Unfunny with no charm. One of the worst holiday films I have seen. ” - hapax_legomena
The Prestige (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.5/10 X  
Two stage magicians engage in competitive one-upmanship in an attempt to create the ultimate stage illusion. (130 mins.)
“ Christian Bale trolling Hugh Jackman trolling Christian Bale trolling Hugh Jackman. I'm all set. I was never for a second interested in Nolan's trademark plot twists, which we all know are coming at this point. ” - hapax_legomena