Crap, Watch This Instead

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1.
Far Cry (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
An ex-special forces soldier turned boatman is hired by a journalist to investigate a top-secret military base on a nearby island. (95 mins.)
Director: Uwe Boll
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
2.
A Perfect Getaway (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
Two pairs of lovers on a Hawaiian vacation discover that psychopaths are stalking and murdering tourists on the islands. (98 mins.)
Director: David Twohy
“ Weird twist that makes no sense but is still better than Far Cry. Timothy Olpyhant is who makes this movie. ” - jwoehr
 
3.
Turistas (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
A group of young backpackers' vacation turns sour when a bus accident leaves them marooned in a remote Brazilian rural area that holds an ominous secret. (93 mins.)
Director: John Stockwell
“ Also would recommend it if you want a movie similar to the Far Cry video games. ” - jwoehr
 
4.
Wild Wild West (1999)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  
The two best hired guns in the West must save President Grant from the clutches of a nineteenth-century inventor-villain. (106 mins.)
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
5.
Shanghai Noon (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
A Chinese man who travels to the Wild West to rescue a kidnapped princess. After teaming up with a train robber, the unlikely duo takes on a Chinese traitor and his corrupt boss. (110 mins.)
Director: Tom Dey
“ A better western/comedy than Wild Wild West. ” - jwoehr
 
6.
Back to the Future Part III (1990)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  
Enjoying a peaceable existence in 1885, Doctor Emmet Brown is about to be killed by Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen. Marty McFly travels back in time to save his friend. (118 mins.)
Director: Robert Zemeckis
“ Also a good Western/Comedy. ” - jwoehr
 
7.
Cop Out (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Jimmy's rare baseball card is robbed. Since it's his only hope to pay for his daughter's upcoming wedding, he recruits his cop partner Paul to track down the robber, a memorabilia-obsessed gangster. (107 mins.)
Director: Kevin Smith
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
8.
The Other Guys (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
Two mismatched New York City detectives seize an opportunity to step up like the city's top cops whom they idolize -- only things don't quite go as planned. (107 mins.)
Director: Adam McKay
“ Everything Kevin Smith wanted Cop Out to be. ” - jwoehr
 
9.
Mac and Me (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  
An alien trying to escape from NASA is befriended by a wheelchair-bound boy. (95 mins.)
Director: Stewart Raffill
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
10.
Flight of the Navigator (1986)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.9/10 X  
In 1978, a boy travels 8 years into the future and has an adventure with an intelligent, wisecracking alien ship. (90 mins.)
Director: Randal Kleiser
“ E.T. is the too obvious choice to watch over Mac and Me. Here's something under-rated I'd recommend over it any day. ” - jwoehr
 
11.
Johnny English (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
After a sudden attack on the MI5, Johnny English, Britain's most confident yet unintelligent spy, becomes Britain's only spy. (88 mins.)
Director: Peter Howitt
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
12.
The Tuxedo (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
A hapless chauffeur must take a comatose secret agent's place using his special gadget-laden tuxedo. (98 mins.)
Director: Kevin Donovan
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
13.
Get Smart (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.5/10 X  
A highly intellectual but socially awkward spy is tasked with preventing a terrorist attack from a Russian spy agency. (110 mins.)
Director: Peter Segal
“ A very funny and unappreciated spy comedy. ” - jwoehr
 
14.
Top Secret! (1984)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
Parody of WWII spy movies in which an American rock and roll singer becomes involved in a Resistance plot to rescue a scientist imprisoned in East Germany. (90 mins.)
“ Also a good spy comedy. ” - jwoehr
 
15.
Rollerball (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.0/10 X  
The big thing in 2005 is a violent sport which can have some pretty serious consequences... like dying. (98 mins.)
Director: John McTiernan
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
16.
Rollerball (1975)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
In a corporate-controlled future, an ultra-violent sport known as Rollerball represents the world, and one of its powerful athletes is out to defy those who want him out of the game. (125 mins.)
Director: Norman Jewison
“ The original is far superior, like always. ” - jwoehr
 
17.
The Running Man (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
A wrongly convicted man must try to survive a public execution gauntlet staged as a game show. (101 mins.)
“ Most films of today even make bad films from the 80's look good. ” - jwoehr
 
18.
Cool World (1992)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  
A comic strip femme fatale seeks to seduce her cartoonist creator in order to cross over into the real world. (102 mins.)
Director: Ralph Bakshi
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
19.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.7/10 X  
A toon-hating detective is a cartoon rabbit's only hope to prove his innocence when he is accused of murder. (104 mins.)
Director: Robert Zemeckis
 
20.
Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
The Looney Tunes search for a man's missing father and the mythical Blue Monkey diamond. (91 mins.)
Director: Joe Dante
 
21.
The Spy Next Door (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
Former CIA spy Bob Ho takes on his toughest assignment to date: looking after his girlfriend's three kids, who haven't exactly warmed to their mom's beau. (94 mins.)
Director: Brian Levant
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
22.
The Pacifier (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Disgraced Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe is handed a new assignment: Protect the five Plummer kids from enemies of their recently deceased father -- a government scientist whose top-secret experiment remains in the kids' house. (95 mins.)
Director: Adam Shankman
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
23.
Mr. Nanny (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.6/10 X  
A former professional wrestler is hired to be the bodyguard/nanny for a couple of bratty kids whose inventor father is being stalked by a rival. (84 mins.)
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
24.
Kindergarten Cop (1990)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
A tough cop must pose as a kindergarten teacher in order to locate a dangerous criminal's ex-wife, who may hold the key to putting him behind bars. (111 mins.)
Director: Ivan Reitman
“ Say what you will about Arnold but other action stars wouldn't have pulled this off as well or playing a pregnant dude in Junior either ” - jwoehr
 
25.
Alex Cross (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
A homicide detective is pushed to the brink of his moral and physical limits as he tangles with a ferociously skilled hired killer who specializes in torture and pain. (101 mins.)
Director: Rob Cohen
“ Crap, Tylor Perry taking Morgan Freeman's place as Alex Cross is worse than when Ben Afflick took Harrison Ford's place as Jack Ryan. ” - jwoehr
 
26.
Kiss the Girls (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
Police hunting for a serial kidnapper are helped when a victim manages to escape for the first time. (115 mins.)
Director: Gary Fleder
 
27.
Along Came a Spider (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
When a congressman's daughter under Secret Service protection is kidnapped from a private school, detective Alex Cross investigates the case even though he's recovering from the loss of his partner. (104 mins.)
Director: Lee Tamahori
 
28.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
On the outskirts of Whoville, there lives a green, revenge-seeking Grinch who plans on ruining the Christmas holiday for all of the citizens of the town. (104 mins.)
Director: Ron Howard
“ Crap: Sorry but for 12 years I have barely been able to get through Jim Carrey yelling and over-acting his way through this movie. ” - jwoehr
 
29.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966 Short Film)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
A grumpy hermit hatches a plan to steal Christmas from the Whos of Whoville. (26 mins.)
“ Longer and live action doesn't mean better. ” - jwoehr
 
30.
12 Rounds (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
Detective Danny Fisher discovers his girlfriend has been kidnapped by a ex-con tied to Fisher's past, and he'll have to successfully complete 12 challenges in order to secure her safe release. (108 mins.)
Director: Renny Harlin
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
31.
Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  
John McClane and a Harlem store owner are targeted by German terrorist Simon Gruber in New York City, where he plans to rob the Federal Reserve Building. (128 mins.)
Director: John McTiernan
 
32.
Killers (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
A vacationing woman meets her ideal man, leading to a swift marriage. Back at home, however, their idyllic life is upset when they discover their neighbors could be assassins who have been contracted to kill the couple. (100 mins.)
Director: Robert Luketic
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
33.
Knight and Day (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A young woman gets mixed up with a disgraced spy who is trying to clear his name. (109 mins.)
Director: James Mangold
 
34.
RED (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
When his peaceful life is threatened by a high-tech assassin, former black-ops agent Frank Moses reassembles his old team in a last ditch effort to survive and uncover his assailants. (111 mins.)
 
35.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
A strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge. (139 mins.)
Director: Sam Raimi
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
36.
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
After Peter Parker is bitten by a genetically altered spider, he gains newfound, spider-like powers and ventures out to solve the mystery of his parent's mysterious death. (136 mins.)
Director: Marc Webb
 
37.
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
Peter Parker is beset with troubles in his failing personal life as he battles a brilliant scientist named Doctor Otto Octavius. (127 mins.)
Director: Sam Raimi
 
38.
Spider-Man (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
When bitten by a genetically modified spider, a nerdy, shy, and awkward high school student gains spider-like abilities that he eventually must use to fight evil as a superhero after tragedy befalls his family. (121 mins.)
Director: Sam Raimi
 
39.
Wyatt Earp (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
Wyatt Earp is a movie about a man and his family. The movie shows us the good times and the bad times of one of the West's most famous individuals. (191 mins.)
Director: Lawrence Kasdan
“ Not crap but too long. ” - jwoehr
 
40.
Tombstone (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
A successful lawman's plans to retire anonymously in Tombstone, Arizona, are disrupted by the kind of outlaws he was famous for eliminating. (130 mins.)
 
41.
Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
Lawman Wyatt Earp and outlaw Doc Holliday form an unlikely alliance which culminates in their participation in the legendary Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. (122 mins.)
Director: John Sturges
 
42.
Don't Say a Word (2001)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
When the daughter of a psychiatrist is kidnapped, he's horrified to discover that the abductors' demand is that he break through to a post traumatic stress disorder suffering young woman who knows a secret... (113 mins.)
Director: Gary Fleder
“ Decent but here's some better similar films: ” - jwoehr
 
43.
Ransom (1996)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
When a multimillionaire man's son is kidnapped, he cooperates with the police at first but then turns the tables on the kidnappers when he uses the ransom money as a reward for the capture of the kidnappers. (121 mins.)
Director: Ron Howard
 
44.
Taken (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
A retired CIA agent travels across Europe and relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter, who has been kidnapped while on a trip to Paris. (93 mins.)
Director: Pierre Morel
 
45.
This Means War (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
Two top CIA operatives wage an epic battle against one another after they discover they are dating the same woman. (103 mins.)
Director: McG
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
46.
True Lies (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
A fearless, globe-trotting, terrorist-battling secret agent has his life turned upside down when he discovers his wife might be having an affair with a used car salesman while terrorists smuggle nuclear war heads into the United States. (141 mins.)
Director: James Cameron
“ A better romantic spy comedy for adults. ” - jwoehr
 
47.
Godzilla (1998)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  
A giant, reptilian monster surfaces, leaving destruction in its wake. To stop the monster (and its babies), an earthworm scientist, his reporter ex-girlfriend, and other unlikely heroes team up to save their city. (139 mins.)
Director: Roland Emmerich
“ Crap ” - jwoehr
 
48.
Godzilla (2014)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
The world is beset by the appearance of monstrous creatures, but one of them may be the only one who can save humanity. (123 mins.)
Director: Gareth Edwards