2012 Films I saw with short reviews

My opinion on movies I saw in 2012, sorted from best to worst IMO, with short description why. Some movies are tied and only my very personal connection with them decides which goes first, even if I give many same amount of stars.

PS. I live in Croatia and if a film was made in 2011, but entered out theatres in early 2012, the film is still counted in.


10 - Masterpiece
9 - Brilliant
8 - Great
7 - Nice
6 - Okay
5 - Mediocre
4 - Weak
3 - Bad
2 - Terrible
1 - Abomination





Based on Rotten Tomatoes standards, I would give approval (or Fresh rating) to films I rate 6-10 and disapproval (or rotten rating) to films I rate 1-5.
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1.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
Eight years after the Joker's reign of anarchy, the Dark Knight, with the help of the enigmatic Catwoman, is forced from his exile to save Gotham City, now on the edge of total annihilation, from the brutal guerrilla terrorist Bane. (164 mins.)
“ 10/10

This must be my all time favorite movie or at least in top 3. I was waiting for it for 4 years and when it finally came out, I was even more pleasantly surprised. I saw it in capital in IMAX when it premiered. It was the trip of the year. And Chris Nolan is a pure genius! Everything I hoped for the TDKR is there and even better than I imagined. Every performance is Oscar-worthy and the story is so complex and has few lairs. Effects, costumes, everything looks as realistic as possible to be reliable and believable. Bane is, tied with Joker, the best villain on screen and Catwoman is the best antihero ever. Congrats to Nolan, Goyer, Thomas and all the stellar cast for this work of art. Just simply the best! ” - alirioaguero2
 
2.
Les Misérables (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  
In 19th-century France, Jean Valjean, who for decades has been hunted by the ruthless policeman Javert after breaking parole, agrees to care for a factory worker's daughter. The decision changes their lives forever. (158 mins.)
Director: Tom Hooper
“ 10/10

For a long time I can't think of the film that has inflicted me emotionally the way this one has. I literally cried for several times during it. I did expect a great movie, but it was just much more. It don't think it is virtually possible to watch it with caution and not be touched by it. The story says so much about human nature, the kindness and they way to be good to people even in circumstances that support being cruel and selfish. The performances are maestral, all of them, especially Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway and Russell Crowe, that all portray very human and elaborated characters. Music is also perfect, as all actors are amazing singers as well. Moreover, they managed to get a great tone of voice and show every hidden emotion in every scene. Maybe the best film of the year in general, and certainly the best musical I have ever seen. Highly recommend it to everyone. Only warning that it is not a light film, you have to watch it in a right atmosphere. ” - alirioaguero2
 
3.
Skyfall (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
Bond's loyalty to M is tested when her past comes back to haunt her. Whilst MI6 comes under attack, 007 must track down and destroy the threat, no matter how personal the cost. (143 mins.)
Director: Sam Mendes
“ 10/10

Skyfall was the most pleasant surprise of the year so far. It succeeds in being the classical Bond film within every element Bond has (great villain, beautiful girls, M, Q, great action...) AND in the same time deliver something completely different and deep in emotional level. Craig's Bond movies are in my opinion the best ones so far, managing to make Bond more human and the threats more realistic. But Skyfall brought it all to new level. Craig, Bardem and Dench brought amazing performances. Notable mention to Berenice Marlohe, who besides beautiful, delivers and strong performance, which could be Oscar-worthy if she only had more screen time. And the opening scene is brilliant, with Adele's wonderful song. Definitely best Bond opening ever, second only to opening of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Must see film! ” - alirioaguero2
 
4.
Argo (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.7/10 X  
Acting under the cover of a Hollywood producer scouting a location for a science fiction film, a CIA agent launches a dangerous operation to rescue six Americans in Tehran during the U.S. hostage crisis in Iran in 1980. (120 mins.)
Director: Ben Affleck
“ 10/10

WOW! Probably greatest Oscar-nominated film ever among political action-thriller genre. Also, probably the best Oscar-nominated film I saw that isn't sad or depressive. Ben Affleck is a genious director and he made sure that everything is authentic as it can be. Casting, scenery, props, camera, everything looks just like it is 1980. Also, every historic detail is true. The most amazing thing about this film is it's perfect sense of balance. Balancing in realism, in the way that it never goes cold, nor melodramatic, in tension, that it never goes boring, yet never over-the-top, in assuring that political talk seams authentic, but never gets too hard to follow due to all business phrases. I must say, true masterpiece and deserved all awards it got. ” - alirioaguero2
 
5.
Life of Pi (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.9/10 X  
A young man who survives a disaster at sea is hurtled into an epic journey of adventure and discovery. While cast away, he forms an unexpected connection with another survivor: a fearsome Bengal tiger. (127 mins.)
Director: Ang Lee
“ 10/10

It's a beautiful art film, with very intense story that continues to develop and it has very strong message to it. I loved the scenery, music and especially the photography. The photography just might be the best I've seen in any film in awhile. It's so beautiful it looks realistic and magical at the same time. The whole movie is one deep and profound adventure about human life, beliefs and emotions during the toughest times in one's life. I loved it very much and I'm glad the Academy noticed it's value too. It's a specialy multicultural film and I think that any person of any religion or beliefs would enjoy it if they keep their mind open. ” - alirioaguero2
 
6.
Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
After a stint in a mental institution, former teacher Pat Solitano moves back in with his parents and tries to reconcile with his ex-wife. Things get more challenging when Pat meets Tiffany, a mysterious girl with problems of her own. (122 mins.)
“ 10/10

Best romantic comedy EVER!!! I mean, when you see it knowing it's an award winning film, it might just slip to you the fact that is really is romantic comedy. And that is the genre that can go as cheesy and predictable as you can imagine. But definitely not this time! The most amazing thing is, the protagonists have mental disorders, but it's (maybe even for the first time in the right way) not something that keeps them from living, being happy, finding love and family's support for what they do. Jennifer Lawrence is indeed superb, but so is Bradley Cooper in the same way. Also it's nice too see Robert de Niro is something great and Chris Tucker on screen again. Not just warm, also funny, engaging and I have only superlatives in all aspects. ” - alirioaguero2
 
7.
The Avengers (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.1/10 X  
Earth's mightiest heroes must come together and learn to fight as a team if they are to stop the mischievous Loki and his alien army from enslaving humanity. (143 mins.)
Director: Joss Whedon
“ 10/10

While DC had the best film of the year, Marvel didn't stand far behind. I honestly must say that it succeeds in everything the planned or fans hoped for. I was worried that not everyone will have enough screen time and that someone might be undeveloped, but that didn't happen. Everyone of the main cast got their spotlight at the right places and did great. Loki was a great villain, yet totally different from Bane. Effects are maestral and the storyline is thrilling and keeps viewer's attention all the way. Can't wait for the sequels! ” - alirioaguero2
 
8.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin, where they get more than they bargained for, discovering the truth behind the cabin in the woods. (95 mins.)
Director: Drew Goddard
“ 10/10

Congrats to Joss Whedon for not just one, but two 10 star reviews from me. This movie was recommended to me by few different people. It is not the movie you instantly think it's brilliant at first. You have to see more than a half of the movie to start realizing it's complexity and brilliance. At first it seams too confusing and too generic, yet enjoyable and well made. However, it evolves, trust me, it does, and gives a great payoff, especially if you are well acquainted with horror genre, weather you love it or hate it. Notable mention goes to Fran Kranz, my secret wish for best *****actor Oscar nomination. ” - alirioaguero2
 
9.
Django Unchained (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8.4/10 X  
With the help of a German bounty hunter, a freed slave sets out to rescue his wife from a brutal Mississippi plantation owner. (165 mins.)
“ 9/10

First out of actual 9 Oscar contenders I saw. The whole movie is... well, Tarantino! Lots of blood and death, with humor and puns. Django is much more similar to Inglorious Basterds in depth and purpose then any other Tarantino movie, since most are made just for fun. And Django is also fun, undeniable! But it's still bitter and heavy movie. It's definitely not made for everyone. It's made for those who can appreciate the violence and resistance to unfair stuff in life. It's about overcoming the society's faults. However, Tarantino's protagonists do it very aggresivly every time. Excessive self-defense was probably created by Tarantino. But I loved the movie, especially for the lines said by Samuel L. Jackson (totally unrecognizable and amazing) and what happened afterwards. It's bold, brave and not your typical Oscar movie. DiCaprio is superb going totally against his type and Waltz really deserved the nomination. Jamie Foxx is also great as Django and supporting cast is also very noticable, since many characters are very unique, no matter how little they are on screen. Music is amazing in every scene. ” - alirioaguero2
 
10.
Lincoln (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  
As the War continues to rage, America's president struggles with continuing carnage on the battlefield as he fights with many inside his own cabinet on the decision to emancipate the slaves. (150 mins.)
“ 9/10

Really impressive and monumental portrail of a truely great man that Lincoln was. Daniel Day Lewis is just perfect as Lincoln, and so are Tommy Lee Jones, Sally Field and everyone else out of at least 20 stellar actors I know and admire. Spielberg did a great job by capturing Lincoln's personal and professional life, with base on the 13'th Amandment, but still gives backstory to other aspects as well. Music, camera and design are also top notch. All seams so authentic. Of course that one can notice the elements of 'we want Oscar' movie in it, but at the end, why not? They did a great job and made me leave the cinema completely satisfied and impressed. ” - alirioaguero2
 
11.
Dredd (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
In a violent, futuristic city where the police have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner, a cop teams with a trainee to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug, SLO-MO. (95 mins.)
Director: Pete Travis
“ 9/10

Wonderfully action-packed and visually stunning comic-book adaptation that remained true to the character. Dredd is something I could watch endlessly and be entertained each time. Ma-Ma also makes a fantastic villain. The whole Dredd world is dark and seams maximum realistic as it can be. ” - alirioaguero2
 
12.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.9/10 X  
A reluctant hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, sets out to the Lonely Mountain with a spirited group of dwarves to reclaim their mountain home, and the gold within it from the dragon Smaug. (169 mins.)
Director: Peter Jackson
“ 9/10

The movie is exactly like you want a LOTR trilogy continuum to be like. All cast members who are the same are just as good and feel like the same character and all new ones fit in perfectly. Richard Armitage was exceptionally good. The visual element is fantastic, music is lovely, sound design is great, make-up and effects are so realistic. Story is as powerful and adventurous as the first one. Can't wait for the sequel! ” - alirioaguero2
 
13.
The Impossible (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  
The story of a tourist family in Thailand caught in the destruction and chaotic aftermath of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. (114 mins.)
Director: J.A. Bayona
“ 9/10

Very emotional and wonderful movie that makes strong points about family and value of one's life in a deadly situation. It looks very believable and it had really great acting performances, especially Naomi Watts and Tom Holland. Really strong and powerful film. ” - alirioaguero2
 
14.
The Hunger Games (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
Katniss Everdeen voluntarily takes her younger sister's place in the Hunger Games: a televised competition in which two teenagers from each of the twelve Districts of Panem are chosen at random to fight to the death. (142 mins.)
Director: Gary Ross
“ 9/10

Awesome film! It seams like it was made for teens and kids, but I don't think so. It's trilling all the way through. As someone who didn't read the book, I was quite surprised about the route it took every next scene. Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson were amazing and so was the rest of the cast. The whole premise of the movie is so grotesque, yet seams plausible, unlike some SCI-FI and action films. The atmosphere is unsettling, but I think it's still made the way that it's not a horror film and even more emotional viewer can see and enjoy. ” - alirioaguero2
 
15.
Amour (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.9/10 X  
Georges and Anne are an octogenarian couple. They are cultivated, retired music teachers. Their daughter, also a musician, lives in Britain with her family. One day, Anne has a stroke, and the couple's bond of love is severely tested. (127 mins.)
Director: Michael Haneke
“ 9/10

Very emotional and very hard to watch. Director's choices make the whole story even heavier, darker and grasping. The shots are very long and people talk very slow and not much most of the time, which makes the whole atmosphere as it is, hard to watch. I find both leading performances to be fantastic, as well as the director. It is absolutely a masterpiece, but not something one would want to watch few times in a roe. Very depressive and heavy film. ” - alirioaguero2
 
16.
The Collection (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
A man who escapes from the vicious grips of the serial killer known as "The Collector" is then forced to help rescue an innocent girl from the killer's booby-trapped lair. (82 mins.)
Director: Marcus Dunstan
“ 9/10

Excellent and thrilling, creepy and full of adrenalin. I loved every part. It doesn't take anything from the first film, it just adds more. More gore, more creativity, more story. Arkin is undoubtably one of the best horror protagonists ever, and The Collector surely must be in top 10 horror villains. If you love realistic and bloody films, this one will be perfect! ” - alirioaguero2
 
17.
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.0/10 X  
After Peter Parker is bitten by a genetically altered spider, he gains newfound, spider-like powers and ventures out to solve the mystery of his parent's mysterious death. (136 mins.)
Director: Marc Webb
“ 9/10

I loved the atmosphere, it seams more dark and intense from the previous movies. But that aside, I still think that Raimi's Spiderman 2 is the best Spidey film so far. This one kind of lost itself in the whole origin story again, and although some things are better made, some just doesn't have that 'soul' of the first version. Andrew Garfield is even better choice to play Peter IMO, and the rest of the cast was great too. Denis Leary was miles ahead of previous version of George Stacy. I enjoyed Ifans' performance as the Lizard, although writers haven't made him neither cruel enough or sympathetic enough to be one of the top villains. But he was cool nontheless. But the setting is great and I want to see the sequels. ” - alirioaguero2
 
18.
Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
In a twist to the fairy tale, the Huntsman ordered to take Snow White into the woods to be killed winds up becoming her protector and mentor in a quest to vanquish the Evil Queen. (127 mins.)
Director: Rupert Sanders
“ 9/10

Both versions of Snow White have it's ups and downs, but this one wins a bit in my eyes. Kristen is great as a different, more 'Joan of Arc' version of Snow White, the Queen (Charlize Theron) is much more sinister and menacing, and the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) just steals the show. I loved different take on the story, the dwarfs, woods, more grandiose and epic battle style and the visuals were much better in this one. ” - alirioaguero2
 
19.
John Carter (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
Transported to Barsoom, a Civil War vet discovers a barren planet seemingly inhabited by 12-foot tall barbarians. Finding himself prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter Woola and a princess in desperate need of a savior. (132 mins.)
Director: Andrew Stanton
“ 8/10

I was enchanted with this film. It was in the production for so long, but it was totally worth it. If you like SCI-FI fairytales, you will enjoy this one. It is complex enough to make one stay alert, yet it dominates with it's visual magic and creativity. Acting is great and characters and either very likeable or those you love to hate. It is a story about true love, revealing yourself and make a journey of discovery. ” - alirioaguero2
 
20.
21 Jump Street (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  
A pair of underachieving cops are sent back to a local high school to blend in and bring down a synthetic drug ring. (110 mins.)
“ 8/10

Excellent comedy. Hill and Tatum have chemistry and it is very funny to see them reverse their stereotypical roles in this. The movie handles well the action and comedy, at the same time being a subtle parody of teen films, especially those in the 90s and early 2000s. But to avoid all confusion, this is not Scary Movie-type of comedy, it actually has it's own storyline and characters. ” - alirioaguero2
 
21.
Anna Karenina (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
In late-19th-century Russian high society, St. Petersburg aristocrat Anna Karenina enters into a life-changing affair with the dashing Count Alexei Vronsky. (129 mins.)
Director: Joe Wright
“ 8/10

Stunning and visually enchanting film with stellar performances by Keira Knightley and Jude Law. It is very unique in it's vision, cause it actually is made as a play. In some scenes you can even see people replacing the set. Costumes are absolutely fantastic! It did lack the 'masterpiece' factor, though. Maybe it's not tragic enough prior to Anna's suicide, which, in this version, has been more presented as a consequence of her inner demons and instability then actual hate from her husband or being cut off from her children. But Keira is absolutely perfect as Anna and it does not show on screen that she actually has a dislike for her character. Aaron Johnson as Vronsky did seam immature, but I got the feeling it was director's vision and not actor's fault. Jude Law is amazing and Matthew MacFadyen has the most hilarious part. ” - alirioaguero2
 
22.
Dark Shadows (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
An imprisoned vampire, Barnabas Collins, is set free and returns to his ancestral home, where his dysfunctional descendants are in need of his protection. (113 mins.)
Director: Tim Burton
“ 8/10

I loved it, being the huge fan of Burton, Jonny Lee Miller, Eva Green and Jackie Earle Haley especially, but of everyone else too. It has some great laughs, some well make action sequences and the characters are very unique and cool. The chemistry of the cast in undeniable. Of course it has some plotholes and cheesiness, it was made after an American soap-opera. Those are the cheesiest kind usually. ” - alirioaguero2
 
23.
The Iron Lady (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
An elderly Margaret Thatcher talks to the imagined presence of her recently deceased husband as she struggles to come to terms with his death while scenes from her past life, from girlhood to British prime minister, intervene. (105 mins.)
Director: Phyllida Lloyd
“ 8/10

Meryl Streep delivers beautifully in her Oscar-winning role as Margaret Thatcher in this unusual biopic. It is different cause rather than centering on Thatcher's political career and facts, it does more with her inner self, her own emotions over her life and family when old and helpless. Streep makes her so authentic at every stage of her life. The make-up is also fabulous. Only possible downfall might be that some might find it boring comparing to most A-production stuff today. But I was very emotional while watching it and therefor I think it made it's point. ” - alirioaguero2
 
24.
The Woman in Black (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
A young solicitor travels to a remote village where he discovers the vengeful ghost of a scorned woman is terrorizing the locals. (95 mins.)
Director: James Watkins
“ 8/10

Intense story and very thrilling atmosphere. Different kind of horror than slasher, that's for sure. Still, it can make you scare just like that. And Daniel Radcliffe is awesome and mature in this role. ” - alirioaguero2
 
25.
Mirror Mirror (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
An evil queen steals control of a kingdom and an exiled princess enlists the help of seven resourceful rebels to win back her birthright. (106 mins.)
“ 8/10

This version has better chemistry between dwarfs and Snow White and Lily Collins is surprisingly just like the Snow White is supposed to be in the book. While Stewart's performance is more eteric (due to different take), Collins is much closer to fairytale character, more warm and better explained why is she so good on examples, rather that an idea alone. On the other hand, I find Julia Roberts' Queen quite annoying (although she had some nice puns too). And the lip-sync at the end was horrible. But it is a nice, feel-positive film. ” - alirioaguero2
 
26.
The Baytown Outlaws (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
When three redneck brothers agree to help a woman save her godson from an abusive stepfather, they become targets on the run from an odd cast of characters. (98 mins.)
Director: Barry Battles
“ 8/10

Very cool film with funny redneck protagonists. Main characters are the ones who usually get to be comic relief villains in this sort of comedies. It's quite dynamic and refreshing and has some nice laughs. ” - alirioaguero2
 
27.
Piranha 3DD (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
After the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark. (83 mins.)
Director: John Gulager
“ 7/10

Just like Thankskilling 3 and Cockneys vs Zombies, this one is one good horror comedy, although totally different from the mentioned two. When you think of a good old brainless summer popcorn fun, you want to see a movie like this. It has nudity, blood, death and excellent pun all over. Every role is funny, but best lines have been given to David Hasselhoff. And the film is not at least depressing, like some horrors (or even horror-comedies) can be. Watch to relax and enjoy:) ” - alirioaguero2
 
28.
This Means War (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A pair of CIA operatives wage an epic battle against one another when they discover they are dating the same woman. (103 mins.)
Director: McG
“ 7/10

This means good fun with Tom Hardy, Chris Pine and Reese Witherspoon. Since I am a huge fan of Hardy, I'm kind of partial to his work. It has some classic love triangle elements, but it's very nice, warm film with very good vibe and good acting. Some puns are a must-hear. ” - alirioaguero2
 
29.
Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.3/10 X  
Faced with both her hot-tempered father's fading health and melting ice-caps that flood her ramshackle bayou community and unleash ancient aurochs, six-year-old Hushpuppy must learn the ways of courage and love. (93 mins.)
Director: Benh Zeitlin
“ 7/10

Definitely a unique movie. However, I must be the one to admit that I just didn't get the punchline. It's maybe the most difficult one to rate on the list. It has atmosphere, camera and acting just great, but the hidden meaning slipped to me. I must have some, I think. It seams like a reflexive film, but I find it short, yet prolonged at times. Closest thing to a message that I could see is be true to yourself and your origins. But IMHO, the community is not presented only poor, but also drunk, ignorant and slightly abusive. And with all the mud, bugs and smell, I really don't think that would be a place for a child. A child not a single person has treated as a child during the whole film. But I notice the talent of people involved. ” - alirioaguero2
 
30.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
After the birth of Renesmee/Nessie, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi. (115 mins.)
Director: Bill Condon
“ 7/10

What a pleasant surprise. After a tedious and cheesy Part 1, Twilight-makers have obviously learned something. Acting was great in this one and all the characters make sense for what they do. There were few quite powerful emotional scenes and the big fight was also done well. There is a twist near end some will appreciate and some will feel a let down. While it was bit of the latter to me at first, I got the punchline quite well I think. It is a great ending to movie franchise that will definitely get a lot of attention. ” - alirioaguero2
 
31.
Mad Buddies (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.0/10 X  
When two sworn enemies are forced to do a road trip together on foot, only to discover that they have been conned into being part of a reality TV show, they join forces to exact revenge. (96 mins.)
Director: Gray Hofmeyr
“ 7/10

Funny, in a ''Tom and Jerry'' sort of way, with very childish puns. Somewhat foolish, yet incredibly amusing if you like comedies of that sort. Of course, it's biggest asset is perfect Tanit Phoenix:) ” - alirioaguero2
 
32.
Cockneys vs Zombies (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
A gang of bank robbers fight their way out of a zombie-infested London. (88 mins.)
Director: Matthias Hoene
“ 7/10

What to expect of the film called Cockneys vs. Zombies?? Well, tons of cheesy puns and bloodbath, of course!! Does it deliver that? Of course it does! It brings that classic British humor to the modern zombie infestation and one cannot help but laugh all the way through. It was amazing to see Honor Blackman in another kickass role at this age. ” - alirioaguero2
 
33.
ThanksKilling 3 (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.2/10 X  
Fowl-mouthed villain Turkie carves through the likes of a rapping grandma, a mindless puppet, a wig-wearing inventor, a bisexual space worm, and their equally ridiculous friends on his quest to recover the last copy of "ThanksKilling 2". (99 mins.)
Director: Jordan Downey
“ 7/10

Highly-expected sequel to Thankskilling. Right away after seeing it was set in space and reading the title (this is actually sequel number 2) I knew that Turkie is back, with more fun and more senseless killing. This serial is the trash genre at it finest!! The sequel brings the parody to a whole new level. While the first one was about mocking slashers, this one is about... well, I can't tell myself, but I guess that was the whole point. Absurdity after absurdity. There are two people actors, but others are sock-puppets and they interact. Also, few sequences seam like someone was high while making them. And while I love Yami and new characters, I wish there was bit more of Turkie. ” - alirioaguero2
 
34.
Men in Black 3 (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
Agent J travels in time to M.I.B.'s early days in 1969 to stop an alien from assassinating his friend Agent K and changing history. (106 mins.)
“ 7/10

MiB back in action! It is a good film, with nice storyline and good chemistry between main actors. Josh Brolin was exceptionally good as young Tommy Lee Jones. But I just don't think the movie has the 'it' factor or intensity of some in the same genre. Still a joy to watch. ” - alirioaguero2
 
35.
Some Guy Who Kills People (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
Ken Boyd, a lonely man fresh out of the loony bin, who sets out to kill those he deems responsible for his miserable life. (97 mins.)
Director: Jack Perez
“ 6/10

Best. Title. Ever. So random. Movie is well-made, with plot and characters on it's right place with some nice laughs and some unexpected twists. It is a different take on a serial killer for sure. ” - alirioaguero2
 
36.
Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.0/10 X  
Six tourists hire an extreme tour guide who takes them to the abandoned city Pripyat, the former home to the workers of the Chernobyl nuclear reactor. During their exploration, they soon discover they are not alone. (86 mins.)
Director: Brad Parker
“ 6/10

Interesting and atmospheric film. It has great camera work, good actors and relistic looking scenery. The ending quite ruins it, though. The film offers much more questions than answers. I think that if properly made, the sequel would make it better. ” - alirioaguero2
 
37.
Battleship (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals. (131 mins.)
Director: Peter Berg
“ 6/10

It has some nice action sequences, great visual effects and the main relationships are there, but not overcomplexed just for the sake of it. Although main character does evolve, it was apparent that the main point of this film were the visuals and it succeds in it. Also, Liam Neeson is always superb and Rihanna gives a good supporting role, totally not biographical or glamorous. ” - alirioaguero2
 
38.
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
Sean Anderson partners with his mom's husband on a mission to find his grandfather, who is thought to be missing on a mythical island. (94 mins.)
Director: Brad Peyton
“ 6/10

I'm a fan of Michael Caine and Josh Hutcherson, so I did like the movie. It is fun to watch and has some nice laughs and visual effects. Characters are likeable enough and have chemistry. However, film did have some downsides, like plot evolving too fast, not being elaborated enough, and simply, for the most parts, not plausible it could happen, like some fantasy films are. But it is nice movie to watch to if you want to see something optimistic and funny, without being pretentious. ” - alirioaguero2
 
39.
That's My Boy (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
While in his teens, Donny fathered a son, Todd, and raised him as a single parent up until Todd's 18th birthday. Now, after not seeing each other for years, Todd's world comes crashing down when Donny resurfaces just before Todd's wedding. (116 mins.)
Director: Sean Anders
“ 6/10

Nice slapstick comedy. Although it has some real emotions in there, stuff are somehow spoiled by too much toilet humor and inappropriate puns. But I find it overall likeable and most important, I laughted a lot and I think that it the main purpose. ” - alirioaguero2
 
40.
V/H/S (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
When a group of misfits are hired by an unknown third party to burglarize a desolate house and acquire a rare VHS tape, they discover more found footage than they bargained for. (116 mins.)
“ 6/10

First tape - 9/10
Second tape - 7/10
Third tape - 6/10
Fourth tape - 5/10
Fifth tape - 6/10
Outside story - 5/10

Confusing and badly paced at times, but amusing and disturbing at some point. ” - alirioaguero2
 
41.
Strippers vs Werewolves (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
When werewolf chief Jack Ferris is accidentally killed in a strip club the girls who work there have until the next full moon before his bloodthirsty wolfpack seek murderous retribution (93 mins.)
“ 6/10

Trash film indeed, but one quite funny and satisfying. However, there is no real logic, effects aren't that good and all that. It is a great film for no-brain fun, but still not on the top of my list of trash genre. But is was still good enough to relax and laugh. And it contains one of the best movie threats ever in my opinion. ” - alirioaguero2
 
42.
Liz & Dick (2012 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
The torrid relationship between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. (88 mins.)
Director: Lloyd Kramer
“ 5/10

Lindsay is obviously a fan of Liz Taylor, but seams unprepared and doing a fanfiction, not a biopic. Her voice is the main issue, it's very different. Make-up is ok, and costumes are great. Film has some good scenes of emotional journey, but seams cut badly at times and definitely rushed at last 10 minutes. Set is ok, but effects are cheap. Lindsay has some of her talent left, but should have studied Liz Taylor more accurately. ” - alirioaguero2
 
43.
Dark Tide (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
A professional diver tutor returns to deep waters after 1 year, following an almost fatal encounter with a great white shark. The nightmare from the deep is still lurking - more carnivorous and hungry than ever. (94 mins.)
Director: John Stockwell
“ 3/10

Although film has nice atmosphere and photography, and acting is good, it was like watching the paint dry. Uniteresting plot devices which usually lead to watching tons of gory deaths in funny ways, here only led to hour and a half of nothing and then 10 minutes of black water action in which you cannot see who is who and ofc, the most interesting character gets killed off randomnly 5 minutes near the end. Is it the worst movie I saw? Far from it, not even close. However, it's so boring and typical that it serves neither to be touched or entertained by it. ” - alirioaguero2
 
44.
Total Recall (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall - a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led - goes wrong and he finds himself on the run. (118 mins.)
Director: Len Wiseman
“ 3/10

I was actually looking forward to see the film, being less judgmental to remakes than most of critics. I loved remake of Conan last year, so I thought that this one might be fun too. But it was not. The whole film is one long action sequence. Three main characters, although well acted, are bland and uninteresting and all the other characters make some interesting cameos just to be randomly killed off after a scene. The story often doesn't make sense and it's quite hard to follow. After reviewing it, I saw bunch of plot-holes. ” - alirioaguero2
 
45.
LOL (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
As a new year at school begins, Lola's heart is broken by her boyfriend, though soon she's surprised by her best friend, promising musician Kyle, who reveals his feelings for her. (97 mins.)
Director: Lisa Azuelos
“ 1/10

This sorry excuse of a film is a total waste of money, time and acting gigs. I have nothing against girl films and girl-themed problems (I love Bridesmaids and Monte Carlo), but this one is utter rubbish. I cannot believe that this one was in theaters. Really? I must be one of the worst mainstream films ever. Miley Cyrus and Demi Moore both gave terrible performances and delivered some really cringe-worthy lines. Characters are emotionally retarded, the plot is cheesy and it has a dept not of a spoon, but rather a pyramid. It gives people message that in order to be modern, you have to be promiscuous and shallow. And even the story stupid as that is delivered frantic, confusing and absurd. In short: it's as much as rubbish as you hear it is. ” - alirioaguero2
 
46.
12/12/12 (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.8/10 X  
When baby Sebastian is born on 12/12/12 everyone around him starts to die. Pretty soon, his mother realizes that her son is the spawn of Hell. (86 mins.)
Director: Jared Cohn
“ 1/10

A mutant evil 'baby', who looks like a cross between a sockpuppet, a scarecrow mask, mutated lizard and a splatter, has a devil inside it and is completely randomly killing off everyone. The film has body count of more than 15, yet hardly any murder is done with a reason and necassity to the 'story'. Acting is horrendous and 'baby' is *walking* after a week and varies in size in every frame, smallest being about a foot tall. And on top of everything, this film ISN'T tagged as comedy, only horror, and 'acting' of 'actors' in it supports that theory. They seam dead serious about it. Am I mistaken that anyone above age of 8 and IQ of 75 would know this is a hardcore crap while filming it? It has no sense whatsoever and any attempt of being 'scary' is silly. Only thing decent was camera. ” - alirioaguero2
 
47.
Attack of the Jurassic Shark (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.5/10 X  
When an oil company unwittingly unleashes a prehistoric shark from its icy prison, the Jurassic killer... (75 mins.)
Director: Brett Kelly
“ 1/10

When reviewing films, I usually concentrate on more positive side. But this splatter here has no positive sides. Ok, it has one: It's so totallly, hopelessly bad, that one can find satisfaction in looking it not as something to follow or watch, but to see all it's defects and laugh to each. First of all, it has NO screenplay! Seriously, I'm not joking! During the long and tedious opening credits NOBODY has been credited as a screenwriter. And apparently, it also has no acting coach, assistant director, visual effects supervisor, make-up designer, script supervisor (ofc) or publicist. And moreover, it has no logical story, funny lines, it's not remotely good or passable in ANY category. It seams like someone really untalented took the camera, invited some friends (and made casting to see are they really as talentless as they look, so there would be no mistakes) and started to play wherever it takes them. And the ideas are predictable, boring, annoying and shallow. Also, Duncan Milloy must be world's most blunt actor, or at least he makes one heck of the job to assure us he is. ” - alirioaguero2