Top 10 Stand-up Comedians

List of my top 10 favorite S-U comedians
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1.
Bill Hicks
Born in Georgia but raised in Houston since the age of 7, this self-described "Prince of Darkness" was compelled to use the comedy stage as his philosophic soapbox. At 13, he would sneak out of his suburban house to hustle his way onto open-mike night rosters. In two brief decades, Hicks worked his way up the sweat-stained comedy ladder to national exposure on The Tonight Show...
“ Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather. ” - osc-ig88
 
2.
George Carlin
Actor, Dogma
Born and raised by his mother in Manhattan, New York City. His parents divorced when he was two months. His mother (as well as his father) worked in marketing, where they met. The long hours the mother worked left the young George by himself for long hours every day, providing him (in his own words)...
“ I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. ” - osc-ig88
 
3.
Richard Pryor
Highly influential, and always controversial, African-American actor/comedian who was equally well known for his colorful language during his live comedy shows, as for his fast paced life, multiple marriages and battles with drug addiction. He has been acknowledged by many modern comic artist's as a key influence on their careers...
“ My father died *beep* He did. My father was 57 when he died. The woman was 18. My father came and went at the same time. ” - osc-ig88
 
4.
“ When girls go wild, they show their tits to people. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub. ” - osc-ig88
 
5.
“ I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. ” - osc-ig88
 
6.
Robin Williams
Robin McLaurin Williams was born on Saturday, July 21st, 1951, in Chicago, Illinois, a great-great-grandson of Mississippi Governor and Senator, Anselm J. McLaurin. His mother, Laurie McLaurin (née Janin), was a former model from Mississippi, and his father, Robert Fitzgerald Williams, was a Ford Motor Company executive from Indiana...
“ We're a heavily medicated society. All the drugs we take: Prozac, Effexor, Valium. I thought for the last ten years, we've been on some weird *beep* drug - the whole country - called f u k i t o l ” - osc-ig88
 
7.
“ I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else." I said, "I am." ” - osc-ig88
 
8.
Chris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock was born in Andrews, South Carolina and raised in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, New York. He is the son of Rosalie (Tingman), a teacher and social worker for the mentally handicapped, and Julius Rock, a truck driver and newspaper deliveryman, whose own father was a preacher. Rock has been in stand-up comedy for several decades...
“ The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body. ” - osc-ig88
 
9.
Eddie Murphy
Edward Regan Murphy was born April 3, 1961 in Brooklyn, New York, to Lillian, a telephone operator, and Charles Edward Murphy, a transit police officer who was also an amateur comedian and actor. After his father died, his mother married Vernon Lynch, a foreman at a Breyer's Ice Cream plant. His siblings are Charlie Murphy and Vernon Lynch...
“ Bear and a rabbit were taking a *beep* in the woods. And the bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with *beep* sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "No." So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. ” - osc-ig88
 
10.
Jim Gaffigan
Indiana native Jim Gaffigan arrived in New York City in 1990 at the age of 24. Officially, he had relocated to work in advertising, but his real fascination with New York had a lot more to do with pursuing his dream of making people laugh as an actor and stand-up comic, a dream he would eventually realize through hard work and ample talent...
“ My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant ” - osc-ig88