Cinematic Excrement

I'm the smeghead and Hollywood can suck it

i cant believe i made this list 2 years ago
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1.
Twilight (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
A teenage girl risks everything when she falls in love with a vampire. (122 mins.)
 
2.
Never Back Down (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
A frustrated and conflicted teenager arrives at a new highschool to discover an underground fightclub and meet a classmate who begins to coerce him into fighting. (110 mins.)
Director: Jeff Wadlow
 
3.
Dragonball: Evolution (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.7/10 X  
The young warrior Son Goku sets out on a quest, racing against time and the vengeful King Piccolo, to collect a set of seven magical orbs that will grant their wielder unlimited power. (85 mins.)
Director: James Wong
 
4.
Home on the Range (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
To save their farm, the resident animals go bounty hunting for a notorious outlaw. (76 mins.)
 
5.
Catwoman (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
A shy woman, endowed with the speed, reflexes, and senses of a cat, walks a thin line between criminal and hero, even as a detective doggedly pursues her, fascinated by both of her personas. (104 mins.)
Director: Pitof
 
6.
Princess of Mars (2009 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
John Carter (Antonio Sabato Jr.) is some kind of lone soldier in the middle east who looks at everyone through the scope on his rifle... (93 mins.)
Director: Mark Atkins
 
7.
The Fourth Kind (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
A thriller involving an ongoing unsolved mystery in Alaska, where one town has seen an extraordinary number of unexplained disappearances during the past 40 years and there are accusations of a federal cover up. (98 mins.)
 
8.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  
Edward leaves Bella after an attack that nearly claimed her life, and in her depression she falls into yet another paranormal relationship - this time with werewolf Jacob Black. (130 mins.)
Director: Chris Weitz
 
9.
Hercules in New York (1970)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.2/10 X  
Hercules (Schwarzenegger) is sent to Earth where he finds true love and starts a promising career in the bodybuilder business. (75 mins.)
 
10.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
An FBI agent takes on a plane full of deadly and venomous snakes, deliberately released to kill a witness being flown from Honolulu to Los Angeles to testify against a mob boss. (105 mins.)
Director: David R. Ellis
 
11.
House of the Dead (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.0/10 X  
A group of college students travel to a mysterious island to attend a rave, and end up getting trapped there because it's been taken over by bloodthirsty zombies. (90 mins.)
Director: Uwe Boll
 
12.
The Last Airbender (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
Follows the adventures of Aang, a young successor to a long line of Avatars, who must master all four elements and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom. (103 mins.)
 
13.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
As a string of mysterious killings grips Seattle, Bella, whose high school graduation is fast approaching, is forced to choose between her love for vampire Edward and her friendship with werewolf Jacob. (124 mins.)
Director: David Slade
 
14.
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.0/10 X  
A group of tourists arrive in Burkittsville, Maryland after seeing The Blair Witch Project to explore the mythology and phenomenon, only to come face to face with their own neuroses and possibly the witch herself. (90 mins.)
Director: Joe Berlinger
 
15.
Chicken Little (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
After ruining his reputation with the town, a courageous chicken must come to the rescue of his fellow citizens when aliens start an invasion. (81 mins.)
Director: Mark Dindal
 
16.
Meet the Spartans (2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.7/10 X  
The heroic Spartan king Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag... (86 mins.)
 
17.
The Cat in the Hat (2003)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
Two bored children have their lives turned upside down when a talking cat comes to visit them. (82 mins.)
Director: Bo Welch
 
18.
Eragon (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
In his homeland of Alagaesia, a farm boy happens upon a dragon's egg -- a discovery that leads him on a predestined journey where he realizes he's the one person who can defend his home against an evil king. (104 mins.)
 
19.
Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  
Profion, a tyrant, attempts to overthrow a peaceful kingdom ruled by a tough empress. (107 mins.)
 
20.
The King of Fighters (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
Live-action feature based on the video game "King of Fighters". (93 mins.)
Director: Gordon Chan
 
21.
Krull (1983)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
A prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet. (116 mins.)
Director: Peter Yates
 
22.
Transformers (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  
An ancient struggle between two Cybertronian races, the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons, comes to Earth, with a clue to the ultimate power held by a teenager. (144 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
 
23.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war. (150 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
 
24.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
The Autobots learn of a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden on the moon, and race against the Decepticons to reach it and to learn its secrets. (154 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
 
25.
Deck the Halls (2006)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
Two neighbors have it out after one of them decorates his house for the holidays so brightly that it can be seen from space. (93 mins.)
Director: John Whitesell
 
26.
BloodRayne (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.9/10 X  
In the 18th century, a vampire escapes from the freak show she once participated in and teams up with a group of vampire slayers to kill the man who raped her mother. (95 mins.)
Director: Uwe Boll
 
27.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
The Quileutes close in on expecting parents Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses a threat to the Wolf Pack and the towns people of Forks. (117 mins.)
Director: Bill Condon
 
28.
Conan the Destroyer (1984)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
Conan leads a ragtag group of adventurers on a quest for a princess. (103 mins.)
 
29.
3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.7/10 X  
Three young boys, Rocky, Colt and Tum Tum together with their neighbor girl, computer whiz Amanda are... (93 mins.)
Director: Sean McNamara
 
30.
Jack and Jill (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  
Family guy Jack Sadelstein prepares for the annual event he dreads: the Thanksgiving visit of his twin sister, the needy and passive-aggressive Jill, who then refuses to leave. (91 mins.)
Director: Dennis Dugan
 
31.
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
A kid from the Midwest moves out to Hollywood in order to follow in his parents footsteps -- and become a porn star. (97 mins.)
Director: Tom Brady
 
32.
2012 Doomsday (2008 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.7/10 X  
On December 21, 2012 four strangers on a journey of faith are drawn to an ancient temple in the heart of Mexico... (85 mins.)
Director: Nick Everhart
 
33.
Kiara the Brave (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.6/10 X  
King Maximus's Dreamzone empire is threatened by his brother Badmess and Dr. Ozox. (90 mins.)
 
34.
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
A teenager discovers he's the descendant of a Greek god and sets out on an adventure to settle an on-going battle between the gods. (118 mins.)
Director: Chris Columbus
 
35.
No Holds Barred (1989)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
Rip is the World Wrestling Federation champion who is faithful to his fans and the network he wrestles for... (93 mins.)
 
36.
Moonraker (1979)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
James Bond investigates the mid-air theft of a space shuttle and discovers a plot to commit global genocide. (126 mins.)
Director: Lewis Gilbert
 
37.
Whiteout (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
U.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko tracks a killer in Antarctica, as the sun is about to set for six months. (101 mins.)
Director: Dominic Sena
 
38.
Once Upon a Christmas (2000 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
Santa is discouraged by a lack of Christmas spirit and wants to quit, but his daughter, Kristin, begs for one more chance to prove to him that there is hope for the world. (90 mins.)
Director: Tibor Takács
 
39.
Twice Upon a Christmas (2001 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
Santa's first born daughter, Rudolfa, is secretly selling pieces of the North Pole, and eventually take over where she attempts to ruin Christmas... (90 mins.)
Director: Tibor Takács
 
40.
Never Back Down 2: The Beatdown (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  
Four fighters with different backgrounds come together to train under an ex-MMA rising star and then ultimately have to fight each other. (90 mins.)
 
41.
That's My Boy (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
While in his teens, Donny fathered a son, Todd, and raised him as a single parent up until Todd's 18th birthday. Now, after not seeing each other for years, Todd's world comes crashing down when Donny resurfaces just before Todd's wedding. (116 mins.)
Director: Sean Anders
 
42.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
After the birth of Renesmee, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi. (115 mins.)
Director: Bill Condon
 
43.
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.6/10 X  
Tasked with destroying each other, an FBI agent and a rogue DIA agent soon discover that there's a much bigger enemy at work. (91 mins.)
Director: Kaos
 
44.
Sucker Punch (2011)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
A young girl is institutionalized by her abusive stepfather. Retreating to an alternative reality as a coping strategy, she envisions a plan which will help her escape from the mental facility. (110 mins.)
Director: Zack Snyder
 
45.
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
The Oogieloves -- Goobie, Zoozie and Toofie -- set out to find five magical balloons that will make their good friend Schluufy's surprise birthday party extra-special. (88 mins.)
Director: Matthew Diamond
 
46.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.6/10 X  
The Man of Steel crusades for nuclear disarmament and meets Lex Luthor's latest creation, Nuclear Man. (90 mins.)
Director: Sidney J. Furie
 
47.
Desert Thunder (1999)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.0/10 X  
Terrorists threaten to launch a missile armed with deadly disease at Europe. A special unit is put together to stop them. (90 mins.)
Director: Jim Wynorski
 
48.
Sharknado (2013 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.3/10 X  
When a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature's deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorize the waterlogged populace. (86 mins.)
 
49.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.3/10 X  
Based on the video game, Alone in the Dark focuses on Edward Carnby, a detective of the paranormal, who slowly unravels mysterious events with deadly results. (96 mins.)
Director: Uwe Boll
 
50.
The Host (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
When an unseen enemy threatens mankind by taking over their bodies and erasing their memories, Melanie will risk everything to protect the people she cares most about, proving that love can conquer all in a dangerous new world. (125 mins.)
Director: Andrew Niccol
 
51.
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  
With their daughter away, the Kranks decide to skip Christmas altogether until she decides to come home, causing an uproar when they have to celebrate the holiday at the last minute. (99 mins.)
Director: Joe Roth
 
52.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
After enslavement and near extermination by an alien race in the year 3000, humanity begins to fight back. (118 mins.)
Director: Roger Christian
 
53.
Super Mario Brothers: Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.0/10 X  
The Mario Bros. get sucked into their Famicom game, and must now rescue Princess Peach from King Bowser Koopa. (60 mins.)
Director: Masami Hata
 
54.
After Earth (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
A crash landing leaves Kitai Raige and his father Cypher stranded on Earth, a millennium after events forced humanity's escape. With Cypher injured, Kitai must embark on a perilous journey to signal for help. (100 mins.)
 
55.
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
In order to restore their dying safe haven, the son of Poseidon and his friends embark on a quest to the Sea of Monsters to find the mythical Golden Fleece while trying to stop an ancient evil from rising. (106 mins.)
 
56.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
A strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge. (139 mins.)
Director: Sam Raimi
 
57.
Getaway (2013)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.4/10 X  
To save his kidnapped wife, Brent Magna must drive at the orders of a mysterious man. (90 mins.)
 
58.
A Thousand Words (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
After stretching the truth on a deal with a spiritual guru, literary agent Jack McCall finds a Bodhi tree on his property. Its appearance holds a valuable lesson on the consequences of every word he speaks. (91 mins.)
Director: Brian Robbins
 
59.
Cutthroat Island (1995)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
A female pirate and her companion race against their rivals to find a hidden island that contains a fabulous treasure. (124 mins.)
Director: Renny Harlin
 
60.
The Legend of Hercules (2014)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
The origin story of the mythical Greek hero. Betrayed by his stepfather, the King, and exiled and sold into slavery because of a forbidden love, Hercules must use his formidable powers to fight his way back to his rightful kingdom. (99 mins.)
Director: Renny Harlin
 
61.
The Amityville Haunting (2011 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.8/10 X  
This movie is a 'found-footage' film about the Benson family who move in to the infamous house where... (86 mins.)
 
62.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.8/10 X  
A horde of mutated birds descends upon the quiet town of Half Moon Bay, California. With the death toll rising, Two citizens manage to fight back, but will they survive Birdemic? (105 mins.)
Director: James Nguyen
 
63.
Jingle All the Way 2 (2014 Video)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  
Larry's daughter wants only one thing for Christmas - a talking bear. His daughter's step-dad intends to make sure that Larry can't get one. (93 mins.)
Director: Alex Zamm
 
64.
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.7/10 X  
Autobots must escape sight from a bounty hunter who has taken control of the human serendipity: Unexpectedly, Optimus Prime and his remaining gang turn to a mechanic, his daughter, and her back street racing boyfriend for help. (165 mins.)
Director: Michael Bay
 
65.
Left Behind (2014)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.1/10 X  
A small group of survivors are left behind after millions of people suddenly vanish and the world is plunged into chaos and destruction. (110 mins.)
Director: Vic Armstrong
 
66.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
When a kingpin threatens New York City, a group of mutated turtle warriors must emerge from the shadows to protect their home. (101 mins.)
 
67.
Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
When Fin & April are on their way to New York, a Category 7 Hurricane spawns heavy rain, winds, storm surges, & deadly Sharknadoes. And it's up to Fin & April to save the Big Apple from total devastation. (95 mins.)
 
68.
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (2009)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
The MacManus brothers are living a quiet life in Ireland with their father, but when they learn that their beloved priest has been killed by mob forces, they go back to Boston to bring justice to those responsible and avenge the priest. (118 mins.)
Director: Troy Duffy
 
69.
Battleship (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.9/10 X  
A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals. (131 mins.)
Director: Peter Berg
 
70.
Total Recall (2012)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.3/10 X  
A factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall - a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led - goes wrong and he finds himself on the run. (118 mins.)
Director: Len Wiseman
 
71.
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
A young woman discovers her destiny as an heiress of intergalactic nobility and must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive industry. (127 mins.)
 
72.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  
When an alien spacecraft of enormous power is spotted approaching Earth, Admiral Kirk resumes command of the Starship Enterprise in order to intercept, examine and hopefully stop the intruder. (132 mins.)
Director: Robert Wise
 
73.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.9/10 X  
A family gets lost on the road and stumbles upon a hidden, underground, devil-worshiping cult led by the fearsome Master and his servant Torgo. (70 mins.)
 
74.
Die Another Day (2002)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
James Bond is sent to investigate the connection between a North Korean terrorist and a diamond mogul who is funding the development of an international space weapon. (133 mins.)
Director: Lee Tamahori
 
75.
The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
Chewbacca and Han Solo try to get home to Chewie's family to celebrate Life Day, which includes various forms of entertainment. (97 mins.)
Director: Steve Binder
 
76.
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  
Literature student Anastasia Steele's life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire Christian Grey. (125 mins.)
 
77.
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015 TV Movie)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.2/10 X  
A monstrous tornado unleashes ravenous sharks from Washington, D.C., all the way down to Orlando, Florida. (93 mins.)
 
78.
Batman & Robin (1997)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  
Batman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City. (125 mins.)
Director: Joel Schumacher
 
79.
Jem and the Holograms (2015)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  
As a small-town girl catapults from underground video sensation to global superstar, she and her three sisters begin a journey of discovering that some talents are too special to keep hidden. (118 mins.)
Director: Jon M. Chu
 
80.
RoboCop 3 (1993)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  
Robocop saves the day once more. This time the half man/half robot takes on ruthless developers who want to evict some people on "their" land. (104 mins.)
Director: Fred Dekker
 
81.
Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God (2005)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  
Based on the phenomenally successful role-playing game, Dungeons & Dragons 2 takes you deeper into the dark and fantastical world of this fantasy epic... (105 mins.)
Director: Gerry Lively
 
82.
Saving Christmas (2014)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1.5/10 X  
Kirk is enjoying the annual Christmas party extravaganza thrown by his sister until he realizes he needs to help out Christian... (80 mins.)
Director: Darren Doane
 
83.
Fantastic Four (2015)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe which alters their physical form in shocking ways. The four must learn to harness their new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy. (100 mins.)
Director: Josh Trank